Uninvited

I am so impressed with all of you quitting who have spouses who bring home loads of booze and appear to try to tempt you with it. I mean I can barely stay sober with just me and nobody tempting me with stuff in my own house. So, seriously, congrats.

The spouses on the otherhand, I find myself not very impressed with them. Sound a little dysfunctional if you ask me.

Emily2002

... I have. Time and time again.

They simply don't get it, so I have to work around it on my own. I just told him they could finish the Harp, and I've been trying to detach a bit.

This has been going on for years, so I don't think it will ever change. All I know is I'm happier when I'm sober. At least when I'm not getting the cravings but I know that if I stick it out long enough, they'll pass right?

Dee74

just wondered. I'm sorry they don't get it.

D

Emily2002

My husband's a good man, Uninvited, my best friend, and I love him dearly. I've been very blessed. The thing is, he nor my four kids think I have a problem because I don't drink all that much anymore, at least not like I used to years ago.

I still binge, every once in a while, and I've begun drinking most every day again. Life's been difficult around here due to a number of issues. It's affecting my health and I guess I'm a lightweight. I drink to celebrate and to self medicate. That's not good.

Thanks for caring about me though! You're the best.

Emily2002

Forgot to mention my oldest called home today extremely excited, because he got a new job... the Specialty Cocktail Manager/Director at an upscale restaurant downtown. (I'm not making this up)

I can't avoid the people I love or the rest of the world forever. Just gotta work it!

Dee74

Yeah its difficult when the people in our life don't see a problem...I had that too....
but I knew the problem was there, it was no less real for them not seeing it - and I knew darn well I could do better.

I did it - I faced my problem, made changes and found solutions - I know you and everyone else here can do it too NL

D

Raider

It's hard when my spouse drinks. I told him don't make a drink in front of me and don't drink one in front me. He has respected that.

Nuway2fly

Hey, Gang

Always a good thing to drop in here and catch up with everyone's day. Welcome to new members samwitch, marcella, snoozy, spacestation, and imabuleva. Hope I didn't miss anyone.

A good day at work, with no real battles to fight with the AV. I did make a stop at the quick store after work, but only came out with a pint of ice cream. This is the same store where I bought booze 90% of the time. But I can' blame the store--the issue was with me, not it.

I like your new avatar, Grindilow. Like Rochele, I saw much of the original series on its first run. I loved it so much I would ache for Friday nights to get here. I'll be a nerd right along with you if I may. I got a kick out of your Mr Spock saying "Welcome Spacestation" PM me any time you wanna talk about TOS or TNG. Really glad you're going for the interview.

Bird615

Welcome to everyone that's new here!

My day went too fast, ended up stuck in the mall most of the day and was too tired to go to the outdoor street festival downtown. Had a bit of a craving when we got home, but it was probably because I was hungry, tired and a bit cranky. Decided to make supper a little earlier than usual. (It was still a good day)

Now, instead of the festival, I would much rather stay in and work on my jigsaw puzzle, maybe play a video game with my husband or just curl up on the couch and watch a movie. And eat homemade popcorn! Grateful to be sober and not craving this evening.

Raider

Popcorn is in my future mad bird!

Emily2002

Popcorn and a jigsaw puzzle sound like fun! I haven't worked on a puzzle in AGES!

Hmmm... I may have to find a place to set up a table.

eveval

I am having a very tough time not drinking tonight. I had relaxing expectations for the day but it really hasn't turned out that way. My upstairs and downstairs neighbors have been partying since last night. Lot's of loud thumping music and occasional yelling, door slamming, loud feet, whatever. They are all 20-21 year old kids (in the apartment above and below me ). I have absolutely no desire to party with them, but the noise really disrupts my sense of personal space and solitude which I really need.

I have started knitting a baby blanket for my step-brother and his girlfriend who are expecting a little girl any day now. I was really excited for this project because it was something I could focus my energy on instead of drinking. It's been a while since I have really knit anything and today I have had to rip out my knitting and start over again three times, making me even more frustrated and a little disappointed in myself. It's been the same with cooking, which used to be one of my other favorite hobbies. I have been trying to cook more for myself but everything I have made has kind of, well, sucked. I used to be so confident about both my knitting and my cooking skills.

I feel stressed, bored and aggravated all at once. I keep trying to ride the cravings out, think the drink through, but I just wanted to express how tough it is. I feel awful. It's especially hard because I know my roommates have liquor in their bedrooms just steps away from where I am sitting.

I can't imagine having a partner pressuring me to drink, especially right now I would fold in a second. I am so impressed by everyone else's commitment.

Sorry for the novel, I just, bleh.

Dee74

I bought some good headphones eveval - watching TV or listening to music is preferable to noise for me.

D

Bird615

It's okay to vent, eveval. Be gentle with yourself over the knitting and cooking, those things will become easier once again; stress and aggravation only gets in our way. I find that at times when I've tried to do something like stop smoking or quit drinking, it seems that the world conspires against me, all kinds of things happen to make it even more difficult. The headphones idea sounds good. Please don't give in, getting through these times can make us stronger.

As for my jigsaw puzzle, I'm kinda OCD with those things, so I rarely do them anymore. This one takes up my dining room table and has been there for about 5 or 6 weeks already and I can't use or eat at the table until it's done. I work on it after work everyday while the daylight's good, and have neglected other things because of it. It's driving me crazy because I refuse to look at the picture (for the challenge) and its the kind that has some pieces will fit even where they don't belong. I just want to finish it and get my table back. I think I have about a third left to do.

Emily2002

Sounds like you're having a bad... no, rather, disappointing day, Eveval. I tend to start most days off with these grande plans, like today, as a matter of fact!

When evening hit, and I realized I'd only accomplished one thing the entire day , I felt like drinking.

I think Dee's idea to try headphones is a good one. When I'm feeling especially low or stressed, listening to music usually brings me up.

Finally, I think it's wonderful you're trying your hand at the knitting and cooking, too! I'm sure you'll be great at both again in no time at all, so please give it time.

You've been doing something GOOD for yourself by not drinking and by hanging here. You're being kind to yourself.

Hugs, eveval.

Emily2002

Oh my, mad bird, I used to get kind of obsessed when I used to do them. NOW I remember haha.

Maybe you can get smaller ones?

phoebe64

I have had a busy day and evening with the kids home and sports, and catching up on a mountain of laundry. Made a healthy dinner after attending my son's afternoon soccer game. Also baked an apple crisp. Trying to keep busy. Family time tonight. It is nice.

I also have spent loads of time planning a visit from a friend. She lives far away and we have met in person once before. We email daily. We know each other via a support group for our children. I know she dos not drink at all. So this is great timing. I have a friend coming, and a weekend of fun, and no drinking will even be entertained. It would be awkward to even get a glass of wine. I long for sober friends in my daily life.

So, it has been a good day.

Hoping things are going well for everyone else tonight.

I was up so early today, I feel tired. But I hope to try to find a movie to watch. IDK. Seems my kids are starting to stay up later than I want to!

EternalQ

How is everyones weekend?

I was thinking of all of you and i remembered how right before I quit I had become so disgusted with my dependency. How I had to have liquor at home or wherever I was going and orient all I did around it. I felt like a prisoner to my addiction. Chained to it. It owned me and therefore owned my life. I was alcohol's slave.

I remember thinking E Q you're like a baby who needs her bottle. And it was true. . Alcohol had regressed me and told me I should live in fear and depend on it exclusively. It was like an abusive relationship that had separated me from what, and who, I loved, and from my spirituality too. From my soul.

I'm glad I remember those feelings so vividly. Because it makes it impossible to remember that, and still pick up a drink.

phoebe64

Funny, I got me daughter a Knifty Knitter kit for her soon birthday, in hopes of borrowing it. How sneaky is that? I love crafts! I like to do beaded jewelry, and my daughter is so sporty, she hates it. But she needs hats and scarfs, so I hope she likes this. If not, I will try it, lol.

I still have sheets and mattress pads to get from the dryer to get beds done tonight, Long overdue. trying to catch up on neglected things.

Love38

Saturday night and instead if being blackout drunk I'm watching a foreign thriller with subtitles. I can see without looking through one eye and I am remembering the plot.

I'm eating candy like it's my job, but I'm sober and so darn happy!