Class of March 2012 Part 7
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Join Date: Mar 2012
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Not so easy to take a step backwards to be honest, plus we are committed to supporting our daughter financially for the next 3 years at least. I have come so far with confidence, it's just that some weeks are easier than others...
Work for you sounds problematic too. When are we going to do a job swap did you say lol xxx
Work for you sounds problematic too. When are we going to do a job swap did you say lol xxx
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
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Originally Posted by Jeni26 
it's just that some weeks are easier than others...
My therapist has been talking about the concept of 'good enough', in terms of my relationships really, but I think that can apply to work and everything else too. We want everything to be pleasant and manageable all the time and maybe that's just not possible and we'll drive ourselves nuts trying to get there. I am aiming for 80/20 and trying not to stamp my feet when things aren't going my way.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
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I like the concept of being 'good enough' very much. I am totally committed to my job and the kids, but am learning that I'm not superwoman. In fact it's pretty arrogant for me to assume I can manage everything! I do MY BEST, and that will have to be enough. At the weekends, I cut myself a lot of slack. I'm untidy, disorganised, forgetful. My head is in the clouds most of the time and I don't listen. I like being on my own and losing myself in music. I'm not the least bit sociable. I make loads of mistakes, I can't cook, I'm rubbish at planning ahead, I'm poor at keeping up with friendships not because I don't care but I just forget to respond to e-mails and texts.
But I'm really good at accepting myself for who I am now. I'm happy and I'm honest with myself and others.
Good enough sounds just right to me you know Hypo xxx
But I'm really good at accepting myself for who I am now. I'm happy and I'm honest with myself and others.
Good enough sounds just right to me you know Hypo xxx
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Join Date: Oct 2011
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That's it isn't it, acceptance. That was another thing I was talking about with my therapist, that our sessions weren't about fixing me, they were about me learning to accept myself for who I am. I am hoping maybe that when I do then others will too. It is like the drinking thing, no one argues with you if you say you're not drinking and mean it, but if they sense doubt they'll play on it. Or maybe that's just me being paranoid again 
x
x
Random Guy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: America
Posts: 2,034
INH update
Hey ladies, how goes it.
Okay update, where am I and what has been going on? Lets see where to begin?
Okay the short version is as follows.
Firstly I'm not drinking, I got away from AA for a few weeks (only went to one or two meetings in three weeks) due to work and a reason I will explain in the next paragraph.
Now for the major event, I had skin cancer. Operative word being "had", don't worry, I'm not dying. So about a month or more ago I went to the doctor to have a mole checked out. I had been eyeing it suspiciously for about six months or so, but my "lady friend" saw it and having had past experience with things like this she told me to go to medical as soon as possible. My new dermatologist took one look at it and twenty minutes later they had me on a table cutting it off. The biopsy came back as melanoma. Only stage one, so no huge worries, but it was thick enough to warrant additional biopsies of my lymph nodes and a further excision surgery on the tumor site itself (my chest). Those tests came back this week and there was no spread that they detected so no worries, its all gone. That kept me occupied for a couple of weeks though. One good part of it is that my "lady friend" took me to the hospital, drove me home, and I got to spend my days convalescing at her place. Another is that I didn't freak out about any of it and I didn't get defeatist. I whenever I was waiting for tests to come back I just assumed they were good until I heard otherwise and did whatever the doctors told me to do (it wasn't much) in the mean time.
After that I have graduated the school I was in and joined my new unit. It seems like its going to be a doozie. They have been working me pretty hard thus far and I don't see it getting any better. We are working up for a deployment and this is an infantry battalion so I am going to have to be in the field a lot more than I am used to. But I will work with it, it just sometimes keeps me from being able to go to my meetings even when I am not at work just because I am tired whenever I finally get home and just want to sleep.
Although one good thing came out of the whole getting away from AA thing. which is that I don't want to repeat the mistakes I have seen people make in the rooms of getting away, then thinking they got this sober thing, then they come crawling back in as a newcomer, or worse you just don't see them anymore but hear that they are back out there. I don't want to "go back out there again", I like the way my life is headed anymore and don't want to lose what I got. So I am going to figure out my schedule better and find different meetings closer that I can make it to easier, and I met with my sponsor to do step work today which is something I plan to continue. I'll let you know in a couple of weeks how that goes haha.
That's about it. Actually there is one more thing. I was talking to my Uncle, explaining the whole skin cancer thing and mentioned to him that I have to struggle to remember the last time I played a game on my computer. He replied, "you know what that means right INH? It means you have a life.". He makes a good point.
Okay update, where am I and what has been going on? Lets see where to begin?
Okay the short version is as follows.
Firstly I'm not drinking, I got away from AA for a few weeks (only went to one or two meetings in three weeks) due to work and a reason I will explain in the next paragraph.
Now for the major event, I had skin cancer. Operative word being "had", don't worry, I'm not dying. So about a month or more ago I went to the doctor to have a mole checked out. I had been eyeing it suspiciously for about six months or so, but my "lady friend" saw it and having had past experience with things like this she told me to go to medical as soon as possible. My new dermatologist took one look at it and twenty minutes later they had me on a table cutting it off. The biopsy came back as melanoma. Only stage one, so no huge worries, but it was thick enough to warrant additional biopsies of my lymph nodes and a further excision surgery on the tumor site itself (my chest). Those tests came back this week and there was no spread that they detected so no worries, its all gone. That kept me occupied for a couple of weeks though. One good part of it is that my "lady friend" took me to the hospital, drove me home, and I got to spend my days convalescing at her place. Another is that I didn't freak out about any of it and I didn't get defeatist. I whenever I was waiting for tests to come back I just assumed they were good until I heard otherwise and did whatever the doctors told me to do (it wasn't much) in the mean time.
After that I have graduated the school I was in and joined my new unit. It seems like its going to be a doozie. They have been working me pretty hard thus far and I don't see it getting any better. We are working up for a deployment and this is an infantry battalion so I am going to have to be in the field a lot more than I am used to. But I will work with it, it just sometimes keeps me from being able to go to my meetings even when I am not at work just because I am tired whenever I finally get home and just want to sleep.
Although one good thing came out of the whole getting away from AA thing. which is that I don't want to repeat the mistakes I have seen people make in the rooms of getting away, then thinking they got this sober thing, then they come crawling back in as a newcomer, or worse you just don't see them anymore but hear that they are back out there. I don't want to "go back out there again", I like the way my life is headed anymore and don't want to lose what I got. So I am going to figure out my schedule better and find different meetings closer that I can make it to easier, and I met with my sponsor to do step work today which is something I plan to continue. I'll let you know in a couple of weeks how that goes haha.
That's about it. Actually there is one more thing. I was talking to my Uncle, explaining the whole skin cancer thing and mentioned to him that I have to struggle to remember the last time I played a game on my computer. He replied, "you know what that means right INH? It means you have a life.". He makes a good point.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
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Whoa INH, that sounds kinda scary, thank God your lady friend noticed and made you do something about it! Praying that will be the end of that saga now.
Your life sounds busy and full of change and that is a positive thing...what a difference a year makes eh? I'm glad things are going so well for you on the romantic front and that work is moving forward. And spending less time on the Internet has got to be a good thing, but don't forget to check in with us now will you!!.
Hypo's gone walkabout again...must go find her. The three of us (me Hypo and Huxley) are meeting up again this weekend, and you're always a part of our conversation INH, it's like you're right there with us. Don't forget to look us up if you're ever over our side of the pond now will you...
All ok with me, I've some pain from a frozen shoulder which is driving me nuts, and I'm in a bit of a quandary about taking pain killers, but apart from that, everything's cool.
Take care my friend xx
Your life sounds busy and full of change and that is a positive thing...what a difference a year makes eh? I'm glad things are going so well for you on the romantic front and that work is moving forward. And spending less time on the Internet has got to be a good thing, but don't forget to check in with us now will you!!.
Hypo's gone walkabout again...must go find her. The three of us (me Hypo and Huxley) are meeting up again this weekend, and you're always a part of our conversation INH, it's like you're right there with us. Don't forget to look us up if you're ever over our side of the pond now will you...
All ok with me, I've some pain from a frozen shoulder which is driving me nuts, and I'm in a bit of a quandary about taking pain killers, but apart from that, everything's cool.
Take care my friend
xx
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Oh INH, so sorry you had to go through that. That must have been scary. But on the plus side it sounds like you're pretty much invincible now on the drinking front. You have been through so much and stayed sober. Proud of you But invincibility aside I am glad you are sticking as close as you can to meetings. My volunteer group has become a major support for me now and I know that without that regular interaction with others I would find my thoughts headed down the drinking route again. I'm really glad that things are going so well for you and with your lady friend too x
I am a little more stable this week, the operative word being 'little'. Getting there. My counselling is practically a life saver and my group is really rewarding. I am a bit emotionally temperamental on the relationship front and work isn't exactly positive. It is kinda difficult pulling yourself out of a slump when you're surrounded by negativity. But actually I have very little to complain about so I'll shut up now.
So glad to hear from you INH, and looking forward to Sunday Jeni xxx
But invincibility aside I am glad you are sticking as close as you can to meetings. My volunteer group has become a major support for me now and I know that without that regular interaction with others I would find my thoughts headed down the drinking route again. I'm really glad that things are going so well for you and with your lady friend too xI am a little more stable this week, the operative word being 'little'. Getting there. My counselling is practically a life saver and my group is really rewarding. I am a bit emotionally temperamental on the relationship front and work isn't exactly positive. It is kinda difficult pulling yourself out of a slump when you're surrounded by negativity. But actually I have very little to complain about so I'll shut up now.
So glad to hear from you INH, and looking forward to Sunday Jeni
xxx
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
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Glad you're feeling a bit better now Hypo. I find that every time I go through a bit of a struggle...when I get through to the other side, I've grown a bit more.
I'm more reflective these days. If something bothers me, I think about why and try and put it right. I'm less inclined to sulk and strop about it (though it does still happen on accasions...)
I'm SO looking forward to some time off over Easter. Really tired now and am wanting to do some exercise that doesn't involve running after kids...
See you Sunday my friend xxxxxx
I'm more reflective these days. If something bothers me, I think about why and try and put it right. I'm less inclined to sulk and strop about it (though it does still happen on accasions...)
I'm SO looking forward to some time off over Easter. Really tired now and am wanting to do some exercise that doesn't involve running after kids...
See you Sunday my friend xxxxxx
Random Guy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: America
Posts: 2,034
I hope you three had a good visit. I'm doing good. My doctor says I've healed up well so she took me off of light duty. Oh yeah, random funny, because my tumor was on my chest my oncologist works primarily in the breast health clinic. Its weird being the only guy whose a patient sitting in that office haha. The nurses and secretaries all know me by name even though I've only been there three times I assume because they don't get a lot of guys there.
Work is keeping me busy, lots of late nights so I'm probably going to change up meetings a little. Plus a guy whose a retired Maorine has convinced me to attend meetings on base. There are a lot of embittered young men there that may or may not have a problem but are forced to go so I've avoided it before. Now though I might have a thing or two to bring to the table experience and advice wise. I ran it by my sponsor and he's all about it.
The Girlfriend came over this weekend and I still like her so were doing good. She is getting "way too attached" he words not mine, but she's trying to curb it. Which is probably good, the very few relationships I have been in tend to run along the same lines, which is that she really likes me but I don't feel as strongly so I break it off when I stop seeing a future in it for me. The last one for me was 6-7 years ago though so a lot has changed. So far like I said, I still like her and don't find her annoying at all so were good lol.
Well I'm off to work, a fun filled day awaits lol. Have a good one ladies, and Dee.
I'm doing good. My doctor says I've healed up well so she took me off of light duty. Oh yeah, random funny, because my tumor was on my chest my oncologist works primarily in the breast health clinic. Its weird being the only guy whose a patient sitting in that office haha. The nurses and secretaries all know me by name even though I've only been there three times I assume because they don't get a lot of guys there. Work is keeping me busy, lots of late nights so I'm probably going to change up meetings a little. Plus a guy whose a retired Maorine has convinced me to attend meetings on base. There are a lot of embittered young men there that may or may not have a problem but are forced to go so I've avoided it before. Now though I might have a thing or two to bring to the table experience and advice wise. I ran it by my sponsor and he's all about it.
The Girlfriend came over this weekend and I still like her so were doing good. She is getting "way too attached" he words not mine, but she's trying to curb it. Which is probably good, the very few relationships I have been in tend to run along the same lines, which is that she really likes me but I don't feel as strongly so I break it off when I stop seeing a future in it for me. The last one for me was 6-7 years ago though so a lot has changed. So far like I said, I still like her and don't find her annoying at all so were good lol.
Well I'm off to work, a fun filled day awaits lol. Have a good one ladies, and Dee.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
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I am certain you will have something to bring to the table there INH, you seem so stable and calm recovery wise and I know that people like that really helped me in AA when I was struggling to just come to terms with it.
I am jealous of your stable relationship too. I may be a psycho lady but I have tried dumping my boyfriend 3 times now. Tried being the operative word as he doesn't seem to want to let me. He is definitely the calm stable one. But he is really unresponsive too and it drives me nuts. He is perfect in practically every other way though (oh, apart from the weed, he smokes more than he usually intends so that is a problem) so I am thinking is this something I accept or a dealbreaker. Personally I find the anxiety it causes unbearable so I am not sure I should do this anymore. If he just kept in contact a little bit better I am sure I would be fine though so it will be upsetting if nothing changes still after my latest moan about it. We'll see.
I have had an amazing day volunteering. I have more responsibility now and am basically writing or at least organising the material for the group and I am just getting so much positive feedback and getting so much out of it personally too. It has been seriously grounding today. Even though I have been stressed about it all week it is so worth it.
So glad you're doing better health wise too INH x
Oh, and a weird thing today. One of the new volunteers is an old drinking buddy of mine. It was so bizarre and I hardly recognised him he looked so different. But it was nice because when you have a huge lifestyle change like this you can sometimes look back at your old life nostalgically and wish you could still be there. But when your past is sat next to you in a recovery meeting it kinda makes you realise your in the right place
Hope you're well Jen and that you went to the gym today... ? Enjoy your well earned easter break xxx
I am jealous of your stable relationship too. I may be a psycho lady but I have tried dumping my boyfriend 3 times now. Tried being the operative word as he doesn't seem to want to let me. He is definitely the calm stable one. But he is really unresponsive too and it drives me nuts. He is perfect in practically every other way though (oh, apart from the weed, he smokes more than he usually intends so that is a problem) so I am thinking is this something I accept or a dealbreaker. Personally I find the anxiety it causes unbearable so I am not sure I should do this anymore. If he just kept in contact a little bit better I am sure I would be fine though so it will be upsetting if nothing changes still after my latest moan about it. We'll see.
I have had an amazing day volunteering. I have more responsibility now and am basically writing or at least organising the material for the group and I am just getting so much positive feedback and getting so much out of it personally too. It has been seriously grounding today. Even though I have been stressed about it all week it is so worth it.
So glad you're doing better health wise too INH
xOh, and a weird thing today. One of the new volunteers is an old drinking buddy of mine. It was so bizarre and I hardly recognised him he looked so different. But it was nice because when you have a huge lifestyle change like this you can sometimes look back at your old life nostalgically and wish you could still be there. But when your past is sat next to you in a recovery meeting it kinda makes you realise your in the right place
Hope you're well Jen and that you went to the gym today... ?
Enjoy your well earned easter break xxx
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Join Date: Mar 2012
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We had a great time Sunday thanks INH...we always reflect on how we met and wonder where those Marchers that used to be part of this group are now...MarkstheSpot, KaPuka and Jobei...if you are lurking guys, please pop in.
It's funny...we've all been together 2 years, and I feel like I've known Hypo and Hux my whole life. I talked to my sponsor tonight about how I can still isolate...I don't go to many meetings any more..and the vast majority of my recovery support takes place on-line. Sometimes it bothers me, but mostly it doesn't. I've never been very sociable sober, and I've kinda accepted that's just the way I am. But Hypo and Hux, well they've gone and jumped right out of the computer screen and become friends in real life and that's cool! If you send me your e-mail via PM, I will send you a photo of the 3 of us! Your own little fan club, ha ha!
I'm glad things are going well on the girlfriend front INH...and glad you don't find her annoying yet...you old romantic fool you...ha ha.
Take care my friend, I'm glad you still check in from time to time.
Love to Dee
Jen x
It's funny...we've all been together 2 years, and I feel like I've known Hypo and Hux my whole life. I talked to my sponsor tonight about how I can still isolate...I don't go to many meetings any more..and the vast majority of my recovery support takes place on-line. Sometimes it bothers me, but mostly it doesn't. I've never been very sociable sober, and I've kinda accepted that's just the way I am. But Hypo and Hux, well they've gone and jumped right out of the computer screen and become friends in real life and that's cool! If you send me your e-mail via PM, I will send you a photo of the 3 of us! Your own little fan club, ha ha!
I'm glad things are going well on the girlfriend front INH...and glad you don't find her annoying yet...you old romantic fool you...ha ha.
Take care my friend, I'm glad you still check in from time to time.
Love to Dee
Jen x
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Join Date: Apr 2012
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Hey Hypo, Jeni, INH and all others from this thread! Long time no speak. Things are great in my world and I have been really nostalgic and have been thinking a lot since the first time I ever posted here. Can you guys believe it has been two years?? How wonderful and yet how fast time flies. I am now 2 years free from the hydrocodone and have just made it past the 18 month mark for drinking. I feel amazing. I don't even know the old me. I hope you guys are wonderful and Jeni kinda nudged me to post and say hello. Peace to all and keep doing great. And hypo: love the 80/20. Nothing is ever going to be 100% all the time. I kind of have that view subconsciously I think. Take care and I will not be such a stranger! Lee PS How long for you INH?
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Lovely to hear from you Lee It is great knowing others are doing so well x
I have been feeling a bit better the last few days. It has helped that people are being nice to me and things are going my way... I wonder what will happen when it doesn't...! Oh and I made a doctors appointment to chat about my anxiety. I was all for going on medication the last week but I am having doubts again now. But I am still going to go. I have spent a large part of today lying on the sofa reading and cuddling the dog which seems to have made me ridiculously happy. I'm thinking if I just schedule in more of that I may be okay...
How's you Jeni? x
It is great knowing others are doing so well xI have been feeling a bit better the last few days. It has helped that people are being nice to me and things are going my way... I wonder what will happen when it doesn't...! Oh and I made a doctors appointment to chat about my anxiety. I was all for going on medication the last week but I am having doubts again now. But I am still going to go. I have spent a large part of today lying on the sofa reading and cuddling the dog which seems to have made me ridiculously happy. I'm thinking if I just schedule in more of that I may be okay...
How's you Jeni? x
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Hey Lee, cool you popped in.
I'm well Hypo. Kind of had a little meltdown last week following a visit to my parents..short but full-blown PTSD symptoms for about 24 hours. It rattled me because it hadn't happened for a while...and I had lots of doubts about what I was doing. In short I went a bit bonkers for a bit...
But, I think if I can just pull myself out of that quivering under the duvet moment, and make myself move forward, it passes.
This weekend has been lovely. H and I have spent a lot of time together doing simple stuff...walking in the countryside etc. today I was cooking dinner (amazingly enough) and I looked out the kitchen window and he was mowing the grass and the kids were chatting to my sons girlfriend on Skype. I was just filled with that...everything's gonna be ok peaceful feeling.
The trauma of having flashbacks and nightmares can really knock me off balance, and I need to just keep everything really simple for a bit...no demands or stress.
So am back to my normal nutty self again now. Pleased you're happier too...still worth chatting to your Doc though I reckon.
Hope you're well Dee x
I'm well Hypo. Kind of had a little meltdown last week following a visit to my parents..short but full-blown PTSD symptoms for about 24 hours. It rattled me because it hadn't happened for a while...and I had lots of doubts about what I was doing. In short I went a bit bonkers for a bit...
But, I think if I can just pull myself out of that quivering under the duvet moment, and make myself move forward, it passes.
This weekend has been lovely. H and I have spent a lot of time together doing simple stuff...walking in the countryside etc. today I was cooking dinner (amazingly enough) and I looked out the kitchen window and he was mowing the grass and the kids were chatting to my sons girlfriend on Skype. I was just filled with that...everything's gonna be ok peaceful feeling.
The trauma of having flashbacks and nightmares can really knock me off balance, and I need to just keep everything really simple for a bit...no demands or stress.
So am back to my normal nutty self again now. Pleased you're happier too...still worth chatting to your Doc though I reckon.
Hope you're well Dee
x
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That sounds traumatic Jeni. Glad you are okay now then. Did your counsellor give you any good tips for dealing with PTSD symptoms? I'd imagine it is something not easily controlled.
I will still chat with my doc, I don't want to be one of those people who go oh well everything's okay now, til it isn't. I had a fairly low level anxious state today for no reason I could think of which actually makes me more anxious because I can't figure it out. It might have been just because I have group and am seeing the boy later so I actually have to do stuff and see people. Why can't cuddling the dog be a full time job??! x
I will still chat with my doc, I don't want to be one of those people who go oh well everything's okay now, til it isn't. I had a fairly low level anxious state today for no reason I could think of which actually makes me more anxious because I can't figure it out. It might have been just because I have group and am seeing the boy later so I actually have to do stuff and see people. Why can't cuddling the dog be a full time job??! x
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I stopped seeing my counsellor because what she was saying started to conflict with the stuff I was learning in AA. She helped me a lot..but I was feeling so much better, yet she would keep dragging me backwards to look at resentments that I'd already dealt with using the steps. I felt she wanted me to express some anger...and we went over and over the same stuff...and I still felt none. Thing is, I'm not an angry person generally. I sometimes get cross with H or my daughter, but let's face it, that's pretty normal for close family relationships. I have never felt anything about the people that hurt me as a kid except fear. She wanted me to move through some kind of process and it just wasn't happening. She placed significance on stuff that I didn't, and I felt she was leading me in a direction I didn't want to go.
I haven't missed it at all and have had no contact with her since I stopped going.
The PTSD stuff did get better and I'm sure that was due to talking stuff over with her, working the steps, and meditation. In fact meditation especially helped with the insomnia and nightmares.
So, no little tricks that can help me really, except remembering that it will pass. And no matter how vivid or upsetting they are...it will help if I walk around and talk to someone, even if it's only over the Internet. I'm not sure why cuddling the dog can't be full time...but I'm bloody sure all would be well in my world too if I could just stay at home and interact with a handful of chosen people too. I feel I have too much responsibility for other people at work. I would be happy in a little hut somewhere in the middle of a forest and that's the truth!
Hope all goes well with your group and with the boy. Let me know how you get on xxx
I haven't missed it at all and have had no contact with her since I stopped going.
The PTSD stuff did get better and I'm sure that was due to talking stuff over with her, working the steps, and meditation. In fact meditation especially helped with the insomnia and nightmares.
So, no little tricks that can help me really, except remembering that it will pass. And no matter how vivid or upsetting they are...it will help if I walk around and talk to someone, even if it's only over the Internet. I'm not sure why cuddling the dog can't be full time...but I'm bloody sure all would be well in my world too if I could just stay at home and interact with a handful of chosen people too. I feel I have too much responsibility for other people at work. I would be happy in a little hut somewhere in the middle of a forest and that's the truth!
Hope all goes well with your group and with the boy. Let me know how you get on xxx
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I remembered you'd stopped seeing her, was just wondering whether there were things you could do in a crisis like that. Sounds like she comes from the school of counselling where you have to hit people with foam batons... You sound like you're doing just fine x
My day was good on Monday. I really love my group, though a lot of people had relapsed (albeit briefly) which was a bit upsetting. I have been a bit meh the rest of the week. I am back to the basics at work with very little responsibility which was really hard at first but I am seeing the benefits of it. Sitting just working being able to listen to my ipod is actually pretty cool. The only negative is that I feel like I am being managed out a bit, even though it was me that instigated this, I am just not sure if my boss actually wanted me to back off a bit... It is at a stage now where I feel like if I left I wouldn't be missed and that is a bit depressing. I thought today though that I just have to hold on to the fact that my volunteering is going well. At least I have some sort of vague back up plan. But I'd like to be able to keep this job for a few more years til I have finished my degree, I couldn't cope with a pay cut having to pay for that. Just thinking out loud really...
How is everyone? x
You sound like you're doing just fine xMy day was good on Monday. I really love my group, though a lot of people had relapsed (albeit briefly) which was a bit upsetting. I have been a bit meh the rest of the week. I am back to the basics at work with very little responsibility which was really hard at first but I am seeing the benefits of it. Sitting just working being able to listen to my ipod is actually pretty cool. The only negative is that I feel like I am being managed out a bit, even though it was me that instigated this, I am just not sure if my boss actually wanted me to back off a bit... It is at a stage now where I feel like if I left I wouldn't be missed and that is a bit depressing. I thought today though that I just have to hold on to the fact that my volunteering is going well. At least I have some sort of vague back up plan. But I'd like to be able to keep this job for a few more years til I have finished my degree, I couldn't cope with a pay cut having to pay for that. Just thinking out loud really...
How is everyone? x
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