Class of April 2013 Part 6
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: The South Pacific
Posts: 306
Quiet, quiet, quiet.
No real updates here. Gov't shutdown has made things a bit wonky at home--but--nothing we can't handle.
BD has his last training session this week...while we have made some real in-roads I think there is quite a ways to go.
Funny that...the things in life worth having are worth working for...sobriety, and a well-behaved dog.
Hope all are well, and are just quiet as they are finding less need to be here, and more need to be in the rebuilding/rehealthing/reliving stages of our lives.
For myself, I still check in each day--but as less and less visit, I guess my time is less and less as well.
Be well Classmates--hugs to all.
No real updates here. Gov't shutdown has made things a bit wonky at home--but--nothing we can't handle.
BD has his last training session this week...while we have made some real in-roads I think there is quite a ways to go.
Funny that...the things in life worth having are worth working for...sobriety, and a well-behaved dog.
Hope all are well, and are just quiet as they are finding less need to be here, and more need to be in the rebuilding/rehealthing/reliving stages of our lives.
For myself, I still check in each day--but as less and less visit, I guess my time is less and less as well.
Be well Classmates--hugs to all.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
SB- Hi to you and tell BD 'hi' for me as well.
It's 90 days no weed for me today, so that makes 90 days truly clean and sober. A first for me since I was 13 or so. I'm quite proud of myself. Really starting to settle into sober life as well. I've spent a fair amount of time on SR the last 6 months, but I'm finally at this point where I'm sensing it's time to cut back on that and spend more time on other things in life. I think it will be a healthy step at this point, and something I think most of the rest of you have already done a bit more than I have.
Hope all my Bandicoot pals are doing well.
It's 90 days no weed for me today, so that makes 90 days truly clean and sober. A first for me since I was 13 or so. I'm quite proud of myself. Really starting to settle into sober life as well. I've spent a fair amount of time on SR the last 6 months, but I'm finally at this point where I'm sensing it's time to cut back on that and spend more time on other things in life. I think it will be a healthy step at this point, and something I think most of the rest of you have already done a bit more than I have.
Hope all my Bandicoot pals are doing well.
2
capra laeviculus
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: German Village, OH
Posts: 3,427
Yay, 6 months for me Thanks DG!
My sponsor announced me in my meeting on Friday and gave me a blue 6 month coin as well. It's been a long time since I've made it to 6 months, and I don't think I've ever done it *sober* before -- only "dry"
Anyone watching the clemson-fsu game today?
Thanks DG!My sponsor announced me in my meeting on Friday and gave me a blue 6 month coin as well. It's been a long time since I've made it to 6 months, and I don't think I've ever done it *sober* before -- only "dry"
Anyone watching the clemson-fsu game today?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
Hi class, thought I would catch up:
Sad to say, close to 7 mos now (Nov 6th) I join the anxiety/dumps crowd. Lots of work and what-to-do-with-my-life issues kind of overwhelm me. Still seeing a therapist, but due to cost I have to limit my sessions.
I almost had a drink this week, in fact is was my plan to get drunk and I was not going to tell you all about it when I did.
I went to the restaurant/bistro where I frequented for their pizza night with a friend. Andy the server/bartender who I have known even before he started working there, came to take our order. "Club and lime?" "No, vodka tonic... I need it." Andy looked at me and said "Oh, but you have been so good for so long.. I'll bring you a club and lime."
Smart Andy.
I saw him today and thanked him again for being so upfront and concerned.
Hope this week will go better, some of the work crap has been resolved, but still simmers slowly and it is beyond my control. Getting cooler and the change of season has given me a lousy head cold.
Been quiet here in the April crowd so hope to hear from some of the class. Hope all is well and you got to Charlotte ok Goat.
Take care class!
Sad to say, close to 7 mos now (Nov 6th) I join the anxiety/dumps crowd. Lots of work and what-to-do-with-my-life issues kind of overwhelm me. Still seeing a therapist, but due to cost I have to limit my sessions.
I almost had a drink this week, in fact is was my plan to get drunk and I was not going to tell you all about it when I did.
I went to the restaurant/bistro where I frequented for their pizza night with a friend. Andy the server/bartender who I have known even before he started working there, came to take our order. "Club and lime?" "No, vodka tonic... I need it." Andy looked at me and said "Oh, but you have been so good for so long.. I'll bring you a club and lime."
Smart Andy.
I saw him today and thanked him again for being so upfront and concerned.
Hope this week will go better, some of the work crap has been resolved, but still simmers slowly and it is beyond my control. Getting cooler and the change of season has given me a lousy head cold.
Been quiet here in the April crowd so hope to hear from some of the class. Hope all is well and you got to Charlotte ok Goat.
Take care class!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,414
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Hi Drake. Hope you get to feeling better, never fun to be sick. And I hope this week is easier on you. Glad you're still sober and still with us. Our class is small enough now, you better stick with us!!
Dee- hi to you too. Funny, that's the same article I always post a link to, but a different website for it, I think.
Scoutball- How are you doing? I miss your posts, you always have such a humorous way of writing. I hope you're doing well and BD has been behaving for you.
I've been traveling the last couple of weeks, so just busy getting out and living life. I'm liking that I'm much more motivated to get out of my motel room and see stuff rather than getting off work, hitting the liquor store and holing up in my room like the old days. Sad to think how many places I went and really didn't see, but cool to think about all of the new things I am getting out and doing.
Just over 200 days no alcohol and 100 days no weed. (202 and 102 now) I still count days and I'm thankful for each day clean and sober.
Still some PAWS symptoms... I get particularly depressed if I have down time and get to thinking too much. As long as I'm busy I'm OK though. Or when I start slacking on recovery behaviors. Still working to get my life to where I want it to be, one day at a time. I realize I can't be too impatient- I drank for 9 years and smoked weed for 12 and I started both in my early teens. So, I spent a long time living life as an addict/alcoholic it's going to take some time to turn some things around and learn how to live sober.
Hope you get to feeling better, never fun to be sick. And I hope this week is easier on you. Glad you're still sober and still with us. Our class is small enough now, you better stick with us!! Dee- hi to you too.
Funny, that's the same article I always post a link to, but a different website for it, I think. Scoutball- How are you doing? I miss your posts, you always have such a humorous way of writing. I hope you're doing well and BD has been behaving for you.
I've been traveling the last couple of weeks, so just busy getting out and living life. I'm liking that I'm much more motivated to get out of my motel room and see stuff rather than getting off work, hitting the liquor store and holing up in my room like the old days. Sad to think how many places I went and really didn't see, but cool to think about all of the new things I am getting out and doing.
Just over 200 days no alcohol and 100 days no weed. (202 and 102 now) I still count days and I'm thankful for each day clean and sober.
Still some PAWS symptoms... I get particularly depressed if I have down time and get to thinking too much. As long as I'm busy I'm OK though. Or when I start slacking on recovery behaviors. Still working to get my life to where I want it to be, one day at a time. I realize I can't be too impatient- I drank for 9 years and smoked weed for 12 and I started both in my early teens. So, I spent a long time living life as an addict/alcoholic it's going to take some time to turn some things around and learn how to live sober.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: The South Pacific
Posts: 306
Hi guys.
Reading Drake's post gave me a bit of a scare, and one I wasn't entirely prepared for. I guess I'm feeling as if what we share here means something bigger than just my own sobriety--in that being part of a group makes us stronger, and that my responsibilities lie in not only taking care of myself, and my recovery: but being a part of the group and contributing in whatever way I can to help those that have helped me.
In no way am I putting this on you, Drake. I just needed to read your post to remind me that even after what I consider to be a long time--we're all still vulnerable to the "old ways" that on the surface seem to work, and be easier--consequences be damned.
I am grateful your friend and server was there to help you out. Sounds like a good guy.
I have been experiencing I think bits and pieces of what I suppose is PAWS. I feel like anxiety is a non-issue in it's entirety, as being sober--I can actually remember to use the medication I've been prescribed for it, and have nearly zero feelings of the impending doom I used to feel.
It's the depression that has sunk in that is taking a bit of a toll. I'm not eating like I should--been at my desk a lot, and finding ways to escape, and not be a real active participant in life. (Drawing--I can lose hours drawing, video games, TV...those sorts of things).
The things I used to do for "fun" often revolved around drinking and what not--and of course with Halloween our youngish crowd has lots of costume parties, and whatever else, with lots of drinking. We've been invited to a few, and I'm not in a place where I think being around that is a good idea. I feel like my vigilance has dropped a bit--but I'm still in no way longing, or even tempted by the idea of a beer.
The Government and it's games have affected us pretty heavily. The W has been home for nearly a month now as they have still not ironed out the budget for her pay grade, and staffing level. It's been an adjustment, to be sure. I get a lot less studio time, and am a bit behind on some things because of it. I'm just not as disciplined when she is home. Plus...we're adjusting I think a bit to spending this much time together, especially with both of us being in a bit of a depressed state. I'll say this much: we are really good roommates. Time I suppose. As a man--I'm a bit taken aback by what I feel are some physical changes as a result of not drinking, and I'm not getting any younger. But--that is issues for a different audience and forum.
The BD is my main source of comedy, and joy. He is a freak. I shudder to think of where I'd be mentally without this creature--not to mention physically. Who knows? He seems like the one thing that keeps me rather grounded.
I've gotten my oils out a bit lately...and am really trying to recreate a painting for my Mom by an artist she really loves, but can't afford. Well...no one can really, at least not people I know. These people also seem to miss my art when they're shopping.
My Mom visited my Dad's grave for the first time in 16 years yesterday. She hasn't been for a variety of reasons...but as is becoming more apparent: She is limited in any type of coping skills. It's become quite the drama festival with my sister, brother and I. One of us seems to get a call at least a few times a week, and she just seems to be rotating to whomever will answer the phone. Brother is closest...and seems the most affected. It's gotten to the point now where I think I just need to buck up and get on an airplane to get a feeling for what is going on there, on the ground.
Apologies for the book...but it's been awhile. I hope all are well, and finding solace in the things that make you smile. I'm trying to see the simple things these days, and even then it's a bit wan, and lackadaisical.
Be well, and hugs.
-sb
Reading Drake's post gave me a bit of a scare, and one I wasn't entirely prepared for. I guess I'm feeling as if what we share here means something bigger than just my own sobriety--in that being part of a group makes us stronger, and that my responsibilities lie in not only taking care of myself, and my recovery: but being a part of the group and contributing in whatever way I can to help those that have helped me.
In no way am I putting this on you, Drake. I just needed to read your post to remind me that even after what I consider to be a long time--we're all still vulnerable to the "old ways" that on the surface seem to work, and be easier--consequences be damned.
I am grateful your friend and server was there to help you out. Sounds like a good guy.
I have been experiencing I think bits and pieces of what I suppose is PAWS. I feel like anxiety is a non-issue in it's entirety, as being sober--I can actually remember to use the medication I've been prescribed for it, and have nearly zero feelings of the impending doom I used to feel.
It's the depression that has sunk in that is taking a bit of a toll. I'm not eating like I should--been at my desk a lot, and finding ways to escape, and not be a real active participant in life. (Drawing--I can lose hours drawing, video games, TV...those sorts of things).
The things I used to do for "fun" often revolved around drinking and what not--and of course with Halloween our youngish crowd has lots of costume parties, and whatever else, with lots of drinking. We've been invited to a few, and I'm not in a place where I think being around that is a good idea. I feel like my vigilance has dropped a bit--but I'm still in no way longing, or even tempted by the idea of a beer.
The Government and it's games have affected us pretty heavily. The W has been home for nearly a month now as they have still not ironed out the budget for her pay grade, and staffing level. It's been an adjustment, to be sure. I get a lot less studio time, and am a bit behind on some things because of it. I'm just not as disciplined when she is home. Plus...we're adjusting I think a bit to spending this much time together, especially with both of us being in a bit of a depressed state. I'll say this much: we are really good roommates. Time I suppose. As a man--I'm a bit taken aback by what I feel are some physical changes as a result of not drinking, and I'm not getting any younger. But--that is issues for a different audience and forum.
The BD is my main source of comedy, and joy. He is a freak. I shudder to think of where I'd be mentally without this creature--not to mention physically. Who knows? He seems like the one thing that keeps me rather grounded.
I've gotten my oils out a bit lately...and am really trying to recreate a painting for my Mom by an artist she really loves, but can't afford. Well...no one can really, at least not people I know. These people also seem to miss my art when they're shopping.
My Mom visited my Dad's grave for the first time in 16 years yesterday. She hasn't been for a variety of reasons...but as is becoming more apparent: She is limited in any type of coping skills. It's become quite the drama festival with my sister, brother and I. One of us seems to get a call at least a few times a week, and she just seems to be rotating to whomever will answer the phone. Brother is closest...and seems the most affected. It's gotten to the point now where I think I just need to buck up and get on an airplane to get a feeling for what is going on there, on the ground.
Apologies for the book...but it's been awhile.
I hope all are well, and finding solace in the things that make you smile. I'm trying to see the simple things these days, and even then it's a bit wan, and lackadaisical. Be well, and hugs.
-sb
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
Originally Posted by ScoutBall 
.
In no way am I putting this on you, Drake. I just needed to read your post to remind me that even after what I consider to be a long time--we're all still vulnerable to the "old ways" that on the surface seem to work, and be easier--consequences be damned.
In no way am I putting this on you, Drake. I just needed to read your post to remind me that even after what I consider to be a long time--we're all still vulnerable to the "old ways" that on the surface seem to work, and be easier--consequences be damned.
What made me mad at myself the most was the planning I had to just go on like it never happened, not telling local friends, family and you all here what I did. Addiction is a mean SOB, as my therapist said, and does not give a (insert your favorite word here) about you, he cares that he is fed.
I am fighting depression again, brought on by my pain in the tail job and the powerlessness I feel over getting out of it and doing something new. I need to re look at the PAWS material again and learn from it.
But with you all, I think I can go forward.... backwards certainly is no longer an attractive option.
capra laeviculus
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: German Village, OH
Posts: 3,427
Yep, 6 months... that's about enough time to get complacent with sobriety. It was hard won, and we should make sure we value it enough to not let it go.
As usual I don't post much because I don't feel like I have a lot useful to say. I feel like I'm struggling a lot less than most. I'm not depressed, I'm not tempted to drink. I keep my sobriety "in my face" every day, but... I've programmed myself to speak up when there's a problem and not when things are going well. I guess I feel like a heel when everyone else is having a hard time and things are going well for me, so I don't feel comfortable posting.
But as you all know the addiction looks for cracks in the wall, so I shouldn't leave any.
I will renew my resolve to post every day. Even if nothing's wrong.
Ok, I shouldn't say nothing's wrong. I'm pretty much financially destroyed, but that has absolutely nothing to do with alcohol. Bankruptcy would be lovely, but it appears that whole option is not set up for people with six figure holes in their bank accounts.
Ok, so, yeah, I don't dwell on the negative. My home is happy and comfortable and I really don't want for anything.
So, anyway, like I said. Posting whether the news is good or bad.
I started my job in Charlotte today. It was hilarious. No computer. So I got paid for 8 hours of sitting around and chewing the fat with the fellas in the office.
I got another job offer today from a company in Iowa. They are very happy for me to work asynchronously and mostly from home (4 weeks in Iowa over the next six months). They are well aware of my gig in Charlotte. So... I'm going to take it. I've worked 80 hours a week for 40 hours of pay for years -- the only change now is that I'll be working 80 hours for 80 hours of pay.
That should put a pretty good dent in the financial disaster
As usual I don't post much because I don't feel like I have a lot useful to say. I feel like I'm struggling a lot less than most. I'm not depressed, I'm not tempted to drink. I keep my sobriety "in my face" every day, but... I've programmed myself to speak up when there's a problem and not when things are going well. I guess I feel like a heel when everyone else is having a hard time and things are going well for me, so I don't feel comfortable posting.
But as you all know the addiction looks for cracks in the wall, so I shouldn't leave any.
I will renew my resolve to post every day. Even if nothing's wrong.
Ok, I shouldn't say nothing's wrong. I'm pretty much financially destroyed, but that has absolutely nothing to do with alcohol. Bankruptcy would be lovely, but it appears that whole option is not set up for people with six figure holes in their bank accounts.
Ok, so, yeah, I don't dwell on the negative. My home is happy and comfortable and I really don't want for anything.
So, anyway, like I said. Posting whether the news is good or bad.
I started my job in Charlotte today. It was hilarious. No computer. So I got paid for 8 hours of sitting around and chewing the fat with the fellas in the office.
I got another job offer today from a company in Iowa. They are very happy for me to work asynchronously and mostly from home (4 weeks in Iowa over the next six months). They are well aware of my gig in Charlotte. So... I'm going to take it. I've worked 80 hours a week for 40 hours of pay for years -- the only change now is that I'll be working 80 hours for 80 hours of pay.
That should put a pretty good dent in the financial disaster
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