Class of April 2013 Part 6
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Crying tonight over my mom. It's sinking in that she's really gone. Why has it taken this long? How does the brain work in such a way to trick you like this? I know it's a protective mechanism. It's just so strange.
Sometimes life seems so pointless. It's a joke. Its just crazy that humans struggle so hard for maybe 80 years if lucky. My grandfather turned 81 yesterday. He told me on the phone how he regrets many things. He regrets drinking until his late 30s. He thinks he should have been wealthy like his brothers and sisters. He told me he let us down. He will be leaving this world feeling like a failure and that breaks my heart.
Most of my life was a lie to cover up pain.
Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery
Sometimes life seems so pointless. It's a joke. Its just crazy that humans struggle so hard for maybe 80 years if lucky. My grandfather turned 81 yesterday. He told me on the phone how he regrets many things. He regrets drinking until his late 30s. He thinks he should have been wealthy like his brothers and sisters. He told me he let us down. He will be leaving this world feeling like a failure and that breaks my heart.
Most of my life was a lie to cover up pain.
Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I think grief sometimes can be an ongoing thing, particularly if we're not ready to let someone go?
I think there's a lot of point to life tho Jennie...the point is making the best of the opportunities we're given, laughing, crying, hitting the highs and weathering the lows.
I dunno if anyone else here feels this way but I feel extraordinarily privileged to have been given what I've been given in my life.
D
I think there's a lot of point to life tho Jennie...the point is making the best of the opportunities we're given, laughing, crying, hitting the highs and weathering the lows.
I dunno if anyone else here feels this way but I feel extraordinarily privileged to have been given what I've been given in my life.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 127
Thought id drop in and say hi people, I was originally in the april class and managed around 50 days before having a major fall from the wagon 
Been back on here just over a week and so pleased to be. Scout, Goat, DG0409 so glad to see your doing great, well done to you, Soberjennie I don't know you , but reading your last post my heart goes out to you ..blessings. xx
Been back on here just over a week and so pleased to be. Scout, Goat, DG0409 so glad to see your doing great, well done to you, Soberjennie I don't know you , but reading your last post my heart goes out to you ..blessings. xx
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Marzipan and Dee, thanks for your replies. It's clear to me what a joke this thread has become.
Futile to keep coming here when everyone else has deserted.
DG... I get your message loud and clear. No worries. Lol. And I'll keep this in mind.
Futile to keep coming here when everyone else has deserted.
DG... I get your message loud and clear. No worries. Lol. And I'll keep this in mind.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
It seems like there is never feedback on this thread. It makes more sense to journal to myself than to keep wasting my breath here. I posted for an entire week here with no response. So, either people here just don't have time to post... and those who do keep posting here ignore, so that's useless to me. Not talking about you, Dee. You do respond. But I might as well post this to the Newcomers section rather than here, because at least I'd get a response.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: The South Pacific
Posts: 306
I'm not entirely sure what to even say in response to any of this, but I think you're not being fair in the least bit.
I read this thread every day. I reply when I think it would be helpful, and keep my mouth shut when I don't think I have any insight, or anything useful to say.
I'm miffed you feel this is a joke.
We all deal with things in our own way, and just like you: many of us have issues that we confront, deal with, struggle, win, lose, and claw like hell to merely keep our noses above water some days--that have nothing to do with sobriety, this board, or our ability/desire/need or want to post in this particular thread.
I sincerely doubt this is the kind of response you would like to see--but it's the one I've thought about now for a good little bit since checking in here today.
Our thread is what we make it. I for one--have found a group of people I'm able to lean on in rough times, and do my best to be there for when they have something they'd like to talk about.
I am not contacted privately often--but when I am--I respond as fast as I can because I know what it is like to be alone, and be in a spot where you think there cannot be another person in the World that possibly feels like you do.
I am honestly sorry you are experiencing a rough go of things, and feel that this thread, and by proxy: the people that post in it are a joke. That is a selfish, mean thing to say, and I can't really see the reasoning behind it.
Be well.
-sb
I read this thread every day. I reply when I think it would be helpful, and keep my mouth shut when I don't think I have any insight, or anything useful to say.
I'm miffed you feel this is a joke.
We all deal with things in our own way, and just like you: many of us have issues that we confront, deal with, struggle, win, lose, and claw like hell to merely keep our noses above water some days--that have nothing to do with sobriety, this board, or our ability/desire/need or want to post in this particular thread.
I sincerely doubt this is the kind of response you would like to see--but it's the one I've thought about now for a good little bit since checking in here today.
Our thread is what we make it. I for one--have found a group of people I'm able to lean on in rough times, and do my best to be there for when they have something they'd like to talk about.
I am not contacted privately often--but when I am--I respond as fast as I can because I know what it is like to be alone, and be in a spot where you think there cannot be another person in the World that possibly feels like you do.
I am honestly sorry you are experiencing a rough go of things, and feel that this thread, and by proxy: the people that post in it are a joke. That is a selfish, mean thing to say, and I can't really see the reasoning behind it.
Be well.
-sb
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
I get on and read this thread when I can, sometimes I look on my Android but do not respond as responding is difficult with the small type (you should see my huge computer monitor). I'd love nothing better to respond to each post but I just can't.
Anyway....
It was a mixed weekend. Lots of frustration with things, mostly a dear friend who can be difficult and critical. Not the same one that let me dog loose, but another. I snapped at him last night as I just had enough of his no one, including me, does anything right unless they do it his way.
This AM, I was engaged to sing in a choir doing a large church piece for a local Anglican church. A dang marathon (we seem to have them daily) made getting there a chore. A 15 min trip took an hour with street closures and traffic. Surly cops did not help.
BUT! I did make jelly for the first time ever and it turned out well. Made some basil jelly and it is quite good (if I say so myself).
Looking on to 6 months sober and maybe a more relaxed week.
to the April class!
Anyway....
It was a mixed weekend. Lots of frustration with things, mostly a dear friend who can be difficult and critical. Not the same one that let me dog loose, but another. I snapped at him last night as I just had enough of his no one, including me, does anything right unless they do it his way.
This AM, I was engaged to sing in a choir doing a large church piece for a local Anglican church. A dang marathon (we seem to have them daily) made getting there a chore. A 15 min trip took an hour with street closures and traffic. Surly cops did not help.
BUT! I did make jelly for the first time ever and it turned out well. Made some basil jelly and it is quite good (if I say so myself).
Looking on to 6 months sober and maybe a more relaxed week.
to the April class!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: The South Pacific
Posts: 306
Hiyas Dee.
Hope things are well. We're going to be neighbors in the next few months, I reckon...
Things are going well for the W, and her research proposal is being reviewed very favorably.
BD will get to return to the "MotherLand" sooner than he thinks.
Hope things are well. We're going to be neighbors in the next few months, I reckon...
Things are going well for the W, and her research proposal is being reviewed very favorably.
BD will get to return to the "MotherLand" sooner than he thinks.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Somewhere USA
Posts: 238
Hi folks, and that includes you Jennie,
Well, hoping I hear about the new job today or tomorrow. All the interviews went well and I heard from some of the people I listed as references that they were called and asked about me. That's a good sign right?
I know I haven't been out of work long but I strangely find I'm missing the structure it provides. Not missing the work so much, but the structure. It's funny. I find I was getting more accomplished around the house when I had less time to accomplish it. I think with only 2 days off per week I forced myself to get things done. Now I find myself saying; meh, there's always later.
Jennie, props to you for volunteering at the shelter. I couldn't do it. I'm too emotional a person and other people's emotions can really set me off. I think I'd be permanently sad and mad working at a place like that. It would turn me into a basket case in short order.
Happy Fall everyone.
Well, hoping I hear about the new job today or tomorrow. All the interviews went well and I heard from some of the people I listed as references that they were called and asked about me. That's a good sign right?
I know I haven't been out of work long but I strangely find I'm missing the structure it provides. Not missing the work so much, but the structure. It's funny. I find I was getting more accomplished around the house when I had less time to accomplish it. I think with only 2 days off per week I forced myself to get things done. Now I find myself saying; meh, there's always later.
Jennie, props to you for volunteering at the shelter. I couldn't do it. I'm too emotional a person and other people's emotions can really set me off. I think I'd be permanently sad and mad working at a place like that. It would turn me into a basket case in short order.
Happy Fall everyone.
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