Class of May 2012 part 22
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I knew it was coming but I'm in shock. It doesn't affect my sobriety but I'm going to log off the internet tonight. I don't really know what to do and it's probably not that appropriate to be online right now.
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Thanks guys. I don't know if I'm going to be going home because Pop didn't want a funeral. His bio children will hold one in a different State where they live. Mum mentioned maybe having a wake.
I don't know if I'm going to go home because I still have school this week and I don't know what I would do at home.
I don't know if I'm going to go home because I still have school this week and I don't know what I would do at home.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Hi all. Just wanted to send you all lots of love. I'm enjoying the Summer break. A few ups and downs with my parents but nothing new. Off to a BBQ later round H's brothers. The alcohol will be flowing but it's no big deal for us any more. It's supposed to be the hottest day of the year so far here....heck, you know we English are delicate little flowers, we wilt in the heat!!
Would be good to hear from Em. I'm concerned about how you got on at the doctors, check in soon my friend xxx
A special big hug for Jane xxx
Huge hellos to Dee, Sassy, OLL, HRB, FP, kitty, wehav, Bloss, Tanja, Shock and everyone else in this awesome thread, past and present xxx
Would be good to hear from Em. I'm concerned about how you got on at the doctors, check in soon my friend xxx
A special big hug for Jane xxx
Huge hellos to Dee, Sassy, OLL, HRB, FP, kitty, wehav, Bloss, Tanja, Shock and everyone else in this awesome thread, past and present xxx
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
SoberJaneDoe - sorry for your loss. Don't forget, we're here when you feel like posting. ((Hugs)) to you. As for going home, that's something I can't say much about. I'm still trying to decide what I'll do when my mother passes on, assuming they tell me about it in the first place...
Day 31. And things didn't go too badly at the doctors. Turns out that it got put there because of what she called 'that needle thing'. Despite the fact that it was back in December 2011. She also made comments about how 'she hadn't invited me to see it, just because it's on the screen', and how doctors are 'professional'.
Nevertheless, when I pointed out that I'm so not at risk, she moved it from 'current' to 'past'. But not before commenting that she didn't want to argue.
It's been a busy couple of days, but I should have found time to post before now, and I'm sorry for making you folks worry.
Also annoyingly, she'd forgotten that I'd told her about my drinking. She made a note, but because I'm not drinking now, she put that down as a 'past' problem. Sigh... I remember arguing with the doctors back in Derbyshire that I'd quit, so why make a fuss. Now I'm finding myself having to talk about stuff that happened over a year ago, and convince them that I have a problem... Gaah, why don't doctors understand this stuff? Maybe I should lend her the Big Book, and tell her to read the doctor's opinion?
Went to meet an old friend yesterday, and admitted that I'd been a bit of an arse in the past, but that, today at least, I was trying not to be.
Which is more than the moron who made a 'witty' comment when I was showing my friend where I was thinking of getting my next tattoo. (On my lower back.) I prayed for him, and asked my higher power to help me forgive him for being such a... well, you don't need to know the exact phrase I used.
Anyway, I'm meeting someone tonight, as she wants to go to the Big Book study meeting and she's looking for a sponsor. I've told her that if she can't find one, I'll be her temporary sponsor and take her through steps 1 to 3. It's at times like this that I wish I'd finished the steps myself, but... I can still be there if she needs me, and hopefully that'll help.
Have a good day folks, and remember that yesterday is over. I sometimes forget that, and when I do... I risk messing up today as well.
Love and Hugs to you all. And may your higher power go with you.
Day 31. And things didn't go too badly at the doctors. Turns out that it got put there because of what she called 'that needle thing'. Despite the fact that it was back in December 2011. She also made comments about how 'she hadn't invited me to see it, just because it's on the screen', and how doctors are 'professional'.
Nevertheless, when I pointed out that I'm so not at risk, she moved it from 'current' to 'past'. But not before commenting that she didn't want to argue.
It's been a busy couple of days, but I should have found time to post before now, and I'm sorry for making you folks worry.
Also annoyingly, she'd forgotten that I'd told her about my drinking. She made a note, but because I'm not drinking now, she put that down as a 'past' problem. Sigh... I remember arguing with the doctors back in Derbyshire that I'd quit, so why make a fuss. Now I'm finding myself having to talk about stuff that happened over a year ago, and convince them that I have a problem... Gaah, why don't doctors understand this stuff? Maybe I should lend her the Big Book, and tell her to read the doctor's opinion?
Went to meet an old friend yesterday, and admitted that I'd been a bit of an arse in the past, but that, today at least, I was trying not to be.
Which is more than the moron who made a 'witty' comment when I was showing my friend where I was thinking of getting my next tattoo. (On my lower back.) I prayed for him, and asked my higher power to help me forgive him for being such a... well, you don't need to know the exact phrase I used.
Anyway, I'm meeting someone tonight, as she wants to go to the Big Book study meeting and she's looking for a sponsor. I've told her that if she can't find one, I'll be her temporary sponsor and take her through steps 1 to 3. It's at times like this that I wish I'd finished the steps myself, but... I can still be there if she needs me, and hopefully that'll help.
Have a good day folks, and remember that yesterday is over. I sometimes forget that, and when I do... I risk messing up today as well.
Love and Hugs to you all. And may your higher power go with you.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
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Congratulations on your 30 days Em. 
I'm pleased things turned out ok for you at the doctors.
I had a lovely afternoon at H's brothers yesterday. It felt so good to be sober when those around me got drunk, I could look after the kids and be a super cool Aunty. Now today I'm seeing my parents. This seems a really hard thing to do at the moment, more so than at any time since I got sober. I think it's because my Dad is ill, and I'm also recovering a lot of memories about stuff through therapy. I want to be a million miles away from him at the moment. But my sister and brother will be there with their kids, no-one will be drinking today, and I get to spend time with them. It will be ok.
It's very quiet on this thread, hope that means everyone is fine. Lots of love to you all xxx
I'm pleased things turned out ok for you at the doctors.
I had a lovely afternoon at H's brothers yesterday. It felt so good to be sober when those around me got drunk, I could look after the kids and be a super cool Aunty. Now today I'm seeing my parents. This seems a really hard thing to do at the moment, more so than at any time since I got sober. I think it's because my Dad is ill, and I'm also recovering a lot of memories about stuff through therapy. I want to be a million miles away from him at the moment. But my sister and brother will be there with their kids, no-one will be drinking today, and I get to spend time with them. It will be ok.
It's very quiet on this thread, hope that means everyone is fine. Lots of love to you all xxx
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Stay strong Jane. Remember you can't stop them fighting. Grief adds a new layer to people's resentments and feuds. You just make sure you take a little time for you...and drinking will only make this horrible situation so much worse.
Sending you a big hug xxx
Sending you a big hug xxx
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