One Year & Under Club Part 18
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
So, I just have to vent a bit...
Have I complained about my town lately?? Apparently there is no getting a hair cut on a Sunday here. Grrr. Some things about this place are starting to drive me nuts.
Bf just took off and got himself lunch without even asking if I wanted anything. I guess it's my fault because he asked if I'd pick something up when I was out doing other stuff earlier and I declined as I didn't really need anything else on my to-do list. Still, he could have asked...
And I'm bothered today because the window on my car is stuck down. I have a garbage bag taped over it. I know that bf knows how to fix it and it wouldn't be a big deal for him, but I really have no idea how to go about fixing the thing myself. But, it's been like that for a couple of weeks now, and it doesn't look like bf is going to do anything. So, I guess I'll just take it to the shop tomorrow and spend the money to pay to have it fixed. Seems like a waste of money in a way (money that I really don't have... I already have a small amount of debt and I always feel like I'm going to get ripped off when I take my car in since I'm kind of a dumb girl when it comes to those things), but I'm sick of the stupid thing. It makes an awful noise when I go anywhere and I've had to re-tape the stupid bag twice today. I know if I do take it to the shop, bf will ask why I didn't ask him to do it... but it is fricking obvious that it needs done. It's not like he can go anywhere without noticing that there is a garbage bag taped to my car. He already mentioned that he needs to fix it. And I'm not his mom: I'm not going to nag him about what he should be doing.
Yesterday, it took me like 40 tries to start the lawn mower and I found myself wondering why mowing the lawn was even my job. Some times I wish I was a guy so it was easier to take care of some of these things. Maybe I just need to buy an electric lawn mower... I think they start themselves??
Something is going to have to change soon. I'm honestly miserable. I'm going to have to get around to accepting that bf is how he is and then deciding what I'm going to do about it.
Have I complained about my town lately?? Apparently there is no getting a hair cut on a Sunday here. Grrr. Some things about this place are starting to drive me nuts.
Bf just took off and got himself lunch without even asking if I wanted anything. I guess it's my fault because he asked if I'd pick something up when I was out doing other stuff earlier and I declined as I didn't really need anything else on my to-do list. Still, he could have asked...
And I'm bothered today because the window on my car is stuck down. I have a garbage bag taped over it. I know that bf knows how to fix it and it wouldn't be a big deal for him, but I really have no idea how to go about fixing the thing myself. But, it's been like that for a couple of weeks now, and it doesn't look like bf is going to do anything. So, I guess I'll just take it to the shop tomorrow and spend the money to pay to have it fixed. Seems like a waste of money in a way (money that I really don't have... I already have a small amount of debt and I always feel like I'm going to get ripped off when I take my car in since I'm kind of a dumb girl when it comes to those things), but I'm sick of the stupid thing. It makes an awful noise when I go anywhere and I've had to re-tape the stupid bag twice today. I know if I do take it to the shop, bf will ask why I didn't ask him to do it... but it is fricking obvious that it needs done. It's not like he can go anywhere without noticing that there is a garbage bag taped to my car. He already mentioned that he needs to fix it. And I'm not his mom: I'm not going to nag him about what he should be doing.
Yesterday, it took me like 40 tries to start the lawn mower and I found myself wondering why mowing the lawn was even my job. Some times I wish I was a guy so it was easier to take care of some of these things. Maybe I just need to buy an electric lawn mower... I think they start themselves??
Something is going to have to change soon. I'm honestly miserable. I'm going to have to get around to accepting that bf is how he is and then deciding what I'm going to do about it.
Aka.. Indamiricale. :)
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Dr.Bob's Neighbor
Posts: 2,728
jumpin here today undies... I LOVE IT... 
Glimer ~ I keep your seat warm.. And make sure you use your AA fellowship.. And you will be building your foundation.. Work those steps..
DG Just keep growing in your sobriety and recovery.. You may find out in a year that you and this guy are not the fit.. Are maybe you are.. Till then you can get a gas mower with electric starter.. LOL..
Watching the end of the British Open.. Yeah for Phil.. BBL.. for a post..
Steve thats how you do chinese take ~ Go big or go home.. well we take it home so ..
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
Steve, I get your point, but from a female perspective, if all you do is' work,sleep play with the kids' when do you and your wife get time to connect? Doe she get any 'me' time? I'm sorry if I am being out of line, just asking to get a better idea of how just or unjust your wife's displeasure is. Perhaps she wishes she could join a gym? Sorry I am probably way off base.
DG in amongst that rant, I feel you have some justification to e more than a little fed up of bf at the moment. It does sound to me like he is being a little self absorbed and not considering you or your needs.
I reached a point with my exH,where he was totally unsupportive, and so into his booze that he was always off with buddies or bringing them around. At the time we were living in and running a residential home, so obviously this was no good. after months of telling him he had to sort himself out or else, I spend most of one afternoon b1tching to my best friend, then suddenly stopped and said "if I do this again, tell me to shut up" not quite so politely. But what I knew was that he was not going to change and me moaning wasn't getting me anywhere. The next day I told him it was over, I had had enough. Of course it wasn't that easy to actually get him out the house and out of my life, but it was certainly the end of the marriage.
Man this post sounds like a total man bashing piece. And I am really not anti men!
DG in amongst that rant, I feel you have some justification to e more than a little fed up of bf at the moment. It does sound to me like he is being a little self absorbed and not considering you or your needs.
I reached a point with my exH,where he was totally unsupportive, and so into his booze that he was always off with buddies or bringing them around. At the time we were living in and running a residential home, so obviously this was no good. after months of telling him he had to sort himself out or else, I spend most of one afternoon b1tching to my best friend, then suddenly stopped and said "if I do this again, tell me to shut up" not quite so politely. But what I knew was that he was not going to change and me moaning wasn't getting me anywhere. The next day I told him it was over, I had had enough. Of course it wasn't that easy to actually get him out the house and out of my life, but it was certainly the end of the marriage.
Man this post sounds like a total man bashing piece. And I am really not anti men!
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
Hey HD3, thanks for your lovely message! Do you like golf? I watched the last hour or so, will be playing tomorrow, ( or whacking the ball into the bunker or for a change of scene, the rough!!)
Hi Dee, 😄
Hi Dee, 😄
Aka.. Indamiricale. :)
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Dr.Bob's Neighbor
Posts: 2,728
toots..
Yes I love golf.. I started playing when I was younger and lived on the TPC of The Woodlands.. I went down there to train as I was a tennis player in my youth.. I wish I would've taken that chance to play golf instead of tennis for a profession.. I don't ever pick up a racquet to this day. But still hit the golf ball as often as possible. LOL..
Yes I love golf.. I started playing when I was younger and lived on the TPC of The Woodlands.. I went down there to train as I was a tennis player in my youth.. I wish I would've taken that chance to play golf instead of tennis for a profession.. I don't ever pick up a racquet to this day. But still hit the golf ball as often as possible. LOL..
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cheshire, N.W England
Posts: 6,803
Hi all
I've had a horrible afternoon, I went to visit my son to try and make some kind of sense and discuss the massive financial mess he has got himself into, not a good idea! He can't seem to see that this mess is all his own doing, I am now the worst mother in the world, I've abandoned him for the last two years and he virtually threw me out of his house and told me to stay out of his life. forever!! My head is still reeling from it all! Just needed to get that out of my system!
I've never been to Valencia M.L but I'm sure it's lovely. You'll love Madrid, there is so much to see and do there, even though I hope never to have to visit there again ( bad memories, my son again!) The city centre is totally amazing.
Aw58, it's not rained here but it's been very dull and heavy, apparently it's forecast to be baking hot again tomorrow and thunderstorms and floods on Tue. I'm going away on Thursday evening for the week end with the g.chid's to a caravan in Wales, so I'm praying it will stay good.
DG, what is an R.V please? Is it a van sort of a thing? I'm sorry you're still feeling a bit resentful, maybe you need a little break with a girlfriend or something to take you away from the usual same old, same old. I think we all go through these patches at one time or another.
Oh and no haircuts on a Sunday here either, though all the shops are open etc.
Cars, well mine has an orange engine light showing and saying 'check', I've not got a clue, so I'm going to have to take it in somewhere and ask for it to be looked at. Like you, I worry about being ripped off in these situations. My O.H is always in work and he doesn't have a clue about car engines either!
Hi Tanja, thats a very good description of the A.V. thanks.
Gilmer, I'm really sorry that you feel you have to stay away from us again, are you sure about this? It seems a bit drastic, but if so I wish you the very best of luck and hope you come back to us very soon. There is always a place for you here.
Hi Toots, everybody is so envious of that Nissan pen, lol, I'm thinking of raffling it for charity! I can so relate to you about the wine, every word in fact, but I'm so glad I've given it up, I might have loved it but it certainly didn't love me, it was wrecking me!
Hi Steve, I'm really pleased for you that you have found yourself a 24 hour gym. At the same time I can also understand why your wife isn't overjoyed, she probably thinks she barely sees you as it is. Maybe a bit of a compromise will work wonders, you know, buy her some flowers or something and make a bit of a fuss of her. xxx
Hi HD3 in your jumping Undies, you sound cheerful today.
Off to bed in a moment, I've got work tomorrow unfortunately
Goodnight and sleep well
Gxxx
I've had a horrible afternoon, I went to visit my son to try and make some kind of sense and discuss the massive financial mess he has got himself into, not a good idea! He can't seem to see that this mess is all his own doing, I am now the worst mother in the world, I've abandoned him for the last two years and he virtually threw me out of his house and told me to stay out of his life. forever!! My head is still reeling from it all! Just needed to get that out of my system!
I've never been to Valencia M.L but I'm sure it's lovely. You'll love Madrid, there is so much to see and do there, even though I hope never to have to visit there again ( bad memories, my son again!) The city centre is totally amazing.
Aw58, it's not rained here but it's been very dull and heavy, apparently it's forecast to be baking hot again tomorrow and thunderstorms and floods on Tue. I'm going away on Thursday evening for the week end with the g.chid's to a caravan in Wales, so I'm praying it will stay good.
DG, what is an R.V please? Is it a van sort of a thing? I'm sorry you're still feeling a bit resentful, maybe you need a little break with a girlfriend or something to take you away from the usual same old, same old. I think we all go through these patches at one time or another.
Oh and no haircuts on a Sunday here either, though all the shops are open etc.
Cars, well mine has an orange engine light showing and saying 'check', I've not got a clue, so I'm going to have to take it in somewhere and ask for it to be looked at. Like you, I worry about being ripped off in these situations. My O.H is always in work and he doesn't have a clue about car engines either!
Hi Tanja, thats a very good description of the A.V. thanks.
Gilmer, I'm really sorry that you feel you have to stay away from us again, are you sure about this? It seems a bit drastic, but if so I wish you the very best of luck and hope you come back to us very soon. There is always a place for you here.
Hi Toots, everybody is so envious of that Nissan pen, lol, I'm thinking of raffling it for charity! I can so relate to you about the wine, every word in fact, but I'm so glad I've given it up, I might have loved it but it certainly didn't love me, it was wrecking me!
Hi Steve, I'm really pleased for you that you have found yourself a 24 hour gym. At the same time I can also understand why your wife isn't overjoyed, she probably thinks she barely sees you as it is. Maybe a bit of a compromise will work wonders, you know, buy her some flowers or something and make a bit of a fuss of her. xxx
Hi HD3 in your jumping Undies, you sound cheerful today.
Off to bed in a moment, I've got work tomorrow unfortunately
Goodnight and sleep well
Gxxx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Dudley,Uk
Posts: 1,704
Toot's on my day off I make sure the evening is reserved for me and her....I did try and get her signed up to a gym but she stopped going..If I have a night shift and the kids are off school then I take all 3 kids off to the park so she can pamper herself for a few hours...When I was out of work she was not allowed in the kitchen,I did all the cooking,cleaning and laundry....A lot of people including her own family used to say she was lazy and that I did too much around the house but I did it because I wasn't working....You may also like to know that in 8 years of marriage she has only ever cooked for me once...It has only been whilst I have been at work that she has had to behave like a proper mother and house wife.....I didn't find your post offensive at all but if you read back some of my posts in the class of August 2012 then you will see that we have had our troubles and that is what I'm trying to put right now....I do love her but she has always had it easy and even though I'm back at work I still try and make life easy for her now...I still pick the kids up from school and I always cook them dinner before I go to work....This is why I don't think she can begrudge me 3 hours a week at the gym lol.....Take care....Steve.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Coastal Massachusetts
Posts: 1,637
Quick check in on day 118. On vacation and sober, but it is tough. Walking with the family to an ice cream shop soon. I just feel down on myself when I should be having fun. I'm at the beach in a beautiful 4000 square foot rental home, and all I can think about are regrets. Only me. I need to make the next 5 days more fun, and stop thinking
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cheshire, N.W England
Posts: 6,803
Well Steve, that puts a whole different light on things and I remember how you used to do everything for your wife and family, I forgot about that. You've spoilt her. Lots of love. xxxx
Matthew, try to relax and just enjoy the day as it comes, xx
Gxx
Matthew, try to relax and just enjoy the day as it comes, xx
Gxx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Dudley,Uk
Posts: 1,704
I knew you would remember Grace. I have indeed spoilt her and now it's her turn to do a bit of parenting lol... And I forgot to say the day before she went away I paid 65 pounds for her to get her hair cut and coloured so yeah I do spoil her every now and then lol.
I don't know your son but I can't imagine you being the worst mother ever... You are a kind and gentle woman and I would love you as a friend of mine in real life lol xx
Bed time for me now....Night night.
I don't know your son but I can't imagine you being the worst mother ever... You are a kind and gentle woman and I would love you as a friend of mine in real life lol xx
Bed time for me now....Night night.
Aka.. Indamiricale. :)
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Dr.Bob's Neighbor
Posts: 2,728
My post today is a story some of you have seen me share already.. But since we have some new people, I thought it would be could to re-read.. I do love this one.. Since we are all cracked pots..
Take care gang..
Good love Happy..
Since we are all cracked pots..
A Parable
About Cracked Pots
A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After 2 years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself because this crack in my side causes water to leak all the way back to your house."
The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."
Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them.
Blessings to all my crackpot friends
About Cracked Pots
A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After 2 years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself because this crack in my side causes water to leak all the way back to your house."
The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."
Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them.
Blessings to all my crackpot friends
Good love Happy..
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Aliso Viejo, CA
Posts: 863
Hi everyone. Checking in 2 days in a row! Wow! Worked 10 hrs fri and sat and 12 hours today. Taking tomorrow off. Had a few cravings today. Boss was talking about getting drinks after work and had to tell him no. Really wanted to go. Going home instead.
Gilmer I hope you don't stay away long this time.
Thanks for your posts everyone.
Night all
Gilmer I hope you don't stay away long this time.
Thanks for your posts everyone.
Night all
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Southern Arizona
Posts: 275
Hi everyone.
Hi DG. I understand about the bf. Mine is being weird too. :/ It's hard when you don't feel like anything is put in to the other side of the relationship. *sigh*
I'm dead tired. I only worked 8hours from 4am to 12:30pm. STEVE! HOW do you do 14hours?!
So.., I'm already jaded. This job is NOT for me. It's an Upsale job, and I feel compelled to lie to meet my quotas. I'm trying to work on my lying habits... not perfect them. lol. I'm super tired. I gotta go get some sleep. Still sober. 7 days To my 6months now. Crap! my AV is screaming pretty loud right now. :/
*hugs* to all. HI! to the newcomers. Gilmer! I miss you already too! Why????
Hi DG. I understand about the bf. Mine is being weird too. :/ It's hard when you don't feel like anything is put in to the other side of the relationship. *sigh*
I'm dead tired. I only worked 8hours from 4am to 12:30pm. STEVE! HOW do you do 14hours?!
So.., I'm already jaded. This job is NOT for me. It's an Upsale job, and I feel compelled to lie to meet my quotas. I'm trying to work on my lying habits... not perfect them. lol. I'm super tired. I gotta go get some sleep. Still sober. 7 days To my 6months now. Crap! my AV is screaming pretty loud right now. :/
*hugs* to all. HI! to the newcomers. Gilmer! I miss you already too! Why????
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Grace RV stands for Recreational Vehicle, although that's not an accurate description. Not sure what you call them over there, but they're the vans or frequently (at least in the US), giant buses that have been made for 'camping' (although to me camping involves a tent, if I take the RV, I count is as RVing as I think of camping as something where you're either too cold or too hot and don't get a shower for too long so you're dirty and smelly too), travel or living in. It's like a little house vehicle. Mine does happen to be one of the van-sized ones.
Sorry to hear about the incident with your son.
Sorry to hear about the incident with your son.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
Steve, I haven't visited any classes other than mine, so no hon, I didn't know your background. I can clearly see now though that you do make a huge effort to keep the family in tact, and it sounds now rather like your wife has indeed taken advantage of your easy nature in the past and now is having to do a bit more herself. Thank you for not taking my words the wrong way, I try never to judge, just to ask for the facts, but without body language to read we can sometimes take things the wrong way!
In which case, join your gym and go work off some of that extra energy you have! (Seriously I could not do your hours and be conscious the rest of the time let alone workout!!!)
In which case, join your gym and go work off some of that extra energy you have! (Seriously I could not do your hours and be conscious the rest of the time let alone workout!!!)
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,164
Grace, for your own sake, I would leave son to himself for a while. Please remember when people say things it tells us more about them than about ourselves. Your son knows exactly what to say to cause you the most pain, and I feel it is your own feelings of self blame that is making you feel bad. Your son is who he is. At some point in our adult life we have to grow up and stop blaming our parents for everything that has gone wrong in life. You however, being the warmhearted and loving mother you are, will NEVER stop believing his problems are your fault. I feel you have done what you can to help him, now all you can do is be there for emotional support if he ask. He is playing the victim, so he doesn't want rescued, he wants someone else to blame. Be strong Mary, and be firm. I love you my sweet friend, L
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