JustSarah

Ladybug and Kelly G - we can do this! I am so determined now - I went out on Friday night with my hubby and 2 mates - I didn't drink and drove and had a fab night. Saturday I drank - had to walk home and had a fall out with a gal pal - just goes to show that drinking is so not worth it!

I hope everyone's ok today xx

PeacefulRain

Just keep coming back girls! I had a 3 week sober then drink cycle. My god I got so sick of starting over and over again. Im on day 36, the longest I've ever gone. The thought of starting over again is about as appealing as a Pap smear by Freddy Kreuger! I have so many important reasons for quiting but if it finally sticks over a reason as silly as not wanting to start over again.....I'll take it!

sunnyc5

Kelly and lady bug don't dare leave when u stop trying to stop you give up and if you give up you will die or go insane !!! We need you and all the other mums,,,,!!! This is my life line in France as can't get to Aa meetings,,,,! I feel awful that you both slipped but I am only on day 8 surrounded by French wine and your posts have made me resolve my decision not to drink is the right one! I ordered a tonic at dinner tonight took one sip and realised there was gin in it!!!! I immediately said to my husband and gave it to him ... A week ago I d have had a half bottle in my bag necking it in the loo between courses!!!! We can be strong for each other when the other one is down . Today I am up but who knows how my av will behave tomorrow!!!! Love and strength to all u ladies!!!

kellyg

Thanks Sunny! I am SO PROUD of you being on Day 8. You are right - we each have out strong days and our low days that's for sure

Keep up the great work in France. Any positives you can see from being sober the last few days in France? You can keep repeating those positives to yourself if you ever feel low.

All my best!

ippochick

high 5, day 36 buddy!

Bebetter

Lady, Kelly & Sarah - I think it's really hard to be completely honest about much online (or even when talking to a friend), since you can pick and choose what to say, decide when to come and when not to come... I sometimes post and it sounds all roses for me, but it's not always. It's just harder to say the hard parts... anyway, I'm glad you are all here, starting over is better than not starting over. I'm definitely an all or nothing kind of person, and maybe that's why I don't even really count the days - it's too much weird pressure for me. Everyday I'm not drinking is good, and I can see the benefits. I'm scared to go back to that anxiety that happened after I quit, and that is keeping me honest and sober.

Dollyangel17

Lady, Sarah and Kelly..,

We know you slipped, but you still belong with us!!!! We have all either slipped or came very close to it ourselves, so no judging here. I walked around with a bottle of brandy in my purse for 24 hours....and was just a whisper away myself before tossing it. We want you to succeed, and I know you can!!!!

Peaceful....pap smear by Freddy Kruger???.....freaking hysterical!!! Made me smile after a very serious conversation with my sister about my drinking. She took me out to dinner, and listened supportively as I shared my struggle a bit...told her about you awesome ladies too:-)

My daughter picked me some flowers and put them in a champagne flute:-). How creative, and look...flowers are the only thing going in those things now:-). Here is a pick if the surprise I came home to...love her !!!!!!!!

ImperfectlyMe

Girls don't leave this group even when you stumble. I stayed away because I was embarrassed that I f ing hated having to be sober and it was soooo hard without the support here.
Dolly that is adorable little Dolly's so cute!

Ladybug2

Good morning, Mommas,

I can't tell you all how much it means to read all of your kind words and support. I know I need each and every one of you to do this. I would feel so alone without you all to share and vent to about this struggle. My hubby has been so distracted and stressed with his job lately that we haven't been able to talk or spend much time together. Feeling a bit disconnected from him lately, but can't let that be the reason for my slips. No one makes me drink but me.

It is going to be one of those weird weather days - sunny one minute, rain and storms the next. Going to the gym for a much needed workout and then not sure what else. Will be back here I am sure

Have a great day, ladies. ((HUGS)) to you all!!

kellyg

Thanks ladies for the support! It puts a smile on my face knowing I can come here and get the support I need to quit. It is comforting to know there are others like me out there who also struggle. So often I feel like I only hear how "perfect" friends/family lives are when in reality we ony see the facade they choose to show us.

So thanks Peaceful, Just S, Dolly, Bebetter, Sunny, Inperfect, Ippochick...you are wonderful Moms/Mums

ippochick

i start my treatment program tomorrow amd i am terrified. on the plus side, i got my blood test results and my liver function is normal. something to be said for being a third generation alkie - liver of steel...

it's my daughter's last day at school today. in september she'll be in year 9. i do not know where the time is going...

kellyg

Good luck on the start of your program tomorrow Ippochick!

JustSarah

Good luck ippochic! Let us know how you do

Im still smarting from the weekend - I know I'm better than that. I'll be fine in a few days am sure - for now it's head down and onwards n upwards

Good luck all mums xxxxx

Ladybug2

I know that feeling of relief, ippochick. I came clean with my Dr and had bloodwork done a few months. Was very surprised when she told me liver enzymes were all in normal range. You never know when that could have changed, though, so it is good we stopped when we did Best of luck tomorrow!

Bebetter

Good luck, Ippochick! I hope your treatment program gives you lots of tools to keep going on the path you want to be on!

Sunny - I am really impressed by your resolve in France. I don't know that I could hold out from the wine - just thinking about it, I can hear my AV convincing me that a trip to France would be "once in a lifetime - have a glass!" Stay strong!!

I'm not in a good mood. Big argument with my husband about "free time" from the kids, during which he twisted much of what I said and made it sound like I'm selfish for using my free time to go to the gym (actually, I take both girls to the gym with me, so it's his free time too) and take walks in the woods, and still wanting more to garden. It was just a mess and I'm pissed and feeling really run over. It was so outrageous I don't even know what to say to get back to a real conversation about it, and I guess I'm still so mad that it wouldn't be a good time anyway. It's one of those times that I want to escape...

Babs78756

Hello all! I was just directed to this forum and I'm so, so thankful for it. I'm really scared. I scared myself about what I'm capable of. I have a new two month old daughter and have been home with her drunk. Sneaking alcohol behind my husbands back, hiding the wine bottles in the closet. He's out if town now and I knew I couldn't be home alone, not that I'd drink, I couldn't sit in the house with the shame. I'm staying with some family friends until he returns. This incident(s) have proved to me that I cannot drink, ever. I will certainly lose my husband and my daughter. I just look at her and cry over what I put her through. I know I scared her. I am putting sobriety first, for the first time ever. I am hopeful for your support, I just need the help of other moms. It would be so important to know I'm not alone and perhaps others may be able to relate and I'm not the demon I feel I am. Can I do this without telling my husband what I did? Today is day 1. I have to make it. Thank you for listening.

Bebetter

Welcome Babs. I'm glad you are with friends right now for support. I have done things I feel shame for as well. I am 24 days sober now, and when I think about the ways I've put my 2 girls in danger with my drinking, it physically hurts my heart and mind. I am here so I don't become that person again, and I know this is what I need, and I hope you find support here to keep going on your path.

About 8 years ago (before I had kids), I went to a therapist when I decided to quit drinking and had done almost irreparable damage to my marriage through my drinking. I'd rather not get into any details, but I want you to know that it was immensely helpful in having a place to put my shame, my thoughts, my questions over what I needed to do to get through the things I had done. Maybe that would help you to find a place for all your thoughts and emotions without bringing up your shame to your husband?

Dollyangel17

Welcome Babs! We all understand and have felt the same emotions as you...guilt, shame and horror at how drinking may have affected our famines (especially our children).

I became a daily drinker after my daughter was born, and she will be 7 in November. I have done many things I am not proud of, and no matter how well I thought I hid it, or how well I functioned around the house, she knew that "mommy drank too much wine".

All we can do is forgive ourselves, and move forward trying to be the best moms we can be.

Welcome again, and glad you are here!

Babs78756

Ugh. I can't sleep. The sleeplessness of the first few days is terrible. The guilt and the shame just swirl in my 1/2 asleep 1/2 awake mind. I open my eyes and see my daughter and am reminded that we are so lucky. I can turn this around. I can be a better mom and keep her safe. My husband said once "I don't want to have to protect our daughter from you because you're drunk all the time." It's all I keep hearing in my head when I close my eyes. I just want to be happy and fulfilled, go to work and take care of my daughter. I don't want to feel trapped or resentful toward my husband. I am so thankful to have this site. I'm going to need it so much over the next few days. There is hope. I glimpse it. I don't have it yet but I glimpse it. Thank you all for your support and kind words, in out here using them every second to get through.

JustSarah

Hi Babs,

You're in the right place, there are many different ways to deal with your struggle. My youngest is nearly 4 months old now and for the first 8 weeks after him being born I put my hubby through hell - but since we met 8 years ago there has always been an issue with alcohol so with the help of this site, the Alan Carr book and these lovely mums I did 5 1/2 weeks before last Saturday. Then I went on a hen doo - i decided to drink and I regret it so much. My mate got so drunk it was rubbish and it reminded me why I hate drinking and being surrounded by drunks - so here I am on day 4 determined to do it all again. I am so angry at myself for even having a sip of wine that I have promised myself never EVER again. It's a long ole process to get to where we want to be but I think it'll be so worth it in the end

Good luck to you - post as much as you want / need to - we're always here

Xxxxxxx