Dollyangel17

Oh Imperfect...sorry you had to deal with such a scare, but so glad it turned out okay.

I have been in that situation too where I think...if my health goes south, I start drinking again. I think it's common for us in early sobriety to do that. I like to think we will get to a place we won't even consider it anymore.

It's been a good day here, started school clothes shopping, and that alone should have made me want to drink, but happy to report it did not:-)

Tomorrow is berry picking, and going to get some gooseberries for jam...hubby is from Ireland, and he is so excited for me to try and make it. Was a favorite of his growing up:-)

Let you know how it goes.

joygirl

Oh, Sunny! You can do it. Have a wonderful time, remember every new memory you are making. My sober vacay last week was the best ever! It felt like a gift. Open your gift there and bask in it!
Dolly, I have never had gooseberries! You'll have to let us know how it turns out!
Good night, all!

ImperfectlyMe

Sunny enjoy the Alps the scenery can't get better then that!!!!
Dolly back to school shopping in July and gooseberry jam are you sure you aren't related to Martha stewert
At the family beach house for the week I think change of scenery is what I need to recharge my sober enthusiasm. Have a great Sunday all

joygirl

Inperfectly, have a great time at the beach house! I hope it does recharge you!

PeacefulRain

Good morning ladies! I had a drinking dream last night. Hubby and I were out alone and he asked me if I wanted a drink. I said uh no and ordered an iced tea but then thought well maybe I can just have one or 2. I ended up getting the iced tea.

OMG Impurfect I would have been freaking out!! That is my biggest fear from drinking. So much that if I had the money I would do exactly what Angelina Jolie did! Glad all is well!!!

Have a great day ladies!

sunnyc5

Hi ladies well first full day here the sun shone the scenery is amazing just like the sound of music,,,,,!,, bit of rain later and h is adjusting to kids 24 / 7 with kids he is less tolerant and has lost it a few times with them so I pulled him to onesies and pointed out how good they are and yes they bicker in the cat but I will sort it out tomorrow and he can see how to approach it from another angle,,,,!!!! How funny me giving him advice. Went for a run this am and got lost ,,,!!!! So was 50 min instead of 25! Need two cokes to get the blood sugars up! All good no big cravings just a bit of wistful thinking as we pass cares and bars, but keep saying sober sober sober to myself for a better better better life,,,,! Plus I am fast forwarding those people to their hangovers in the am.!

serenityforever

I relapsed AGAIN I was on day 8 and feeling great! I mean on top of the world great! I had a therapy apt the night before and all was well. On Thursday the exterminator came to my house for aunts, so I took the kids down to my dads for the night. On the way down I passed a liquer store and AV started "Hey...you can drop the kids off at your Dads...come back and get some wine and your husband will never know...." So, that's what I did...but the wine was not enough....I had to take three clonazapan from my Dad and since that wasn't enough I had to go back out and get more wine. Well...that was enough because I do not remember anything after that. Woke up the next day and , but I am learned that my 1 year old fell off a table and bruised his head and chin.

My Dad is a recovering alcoholic. He did not say anything to me about it, but he had to know. Should I say something to him? I can't tell my husband because he will divorce me. I am so ashamed and embarrassed. The hardest part is that I was sober for 6 YEARS prior to all of these relpases. What is wrong with me? I have two beautiful boys and a husband that I love. I love my job etc. I just want to stop ans stay stopped. I can't handle the guilt and lies and insanity anymore.

Back to day 2

ippochick

hi ladies, can i join you?

i have a 13 year old daughter and am 35 days sober today. i have put my family through hell with my drinking.

i'm starting an 8 week outpatient treatment program on wednesday, and i'm very nervous. also going to a folk festival friday - it will be the first 'big day out' sober. this is worrying me as well.

anyway, hello all!

Dollyangel17

Hi all...good but busy day. Did our berry picking, but no gooseberry jam yet...have to let them sit for a couple days. Did make some white chocolate blueberry scones tho....yummy!

Felt a little off, and craved a little because of it, but it passed. I think now that my whole family knows, it helps me stay strong because I would hate to disappoint them.

Anyway...busy day, and now glad we are having a simple stress free dinner of burgers:-)

Dollyangel17

Oh....and welcome Ippochick! Glad you are joining us!

Bebetter

DH sat down to dinner tonight with a beer and said "This is the last beer in the house. Want to taste it?" As I leaned in to sniff it, he told me the kind it was, and I said "no thanks." I thought it was such a sign that he does not have a drinking problem that he didn't think about the fact of running out of beer on a Sunday (we live in Pennsylvania where no beer or liquor store would be open after 5 on a Sunday). You better believe that it wouldn't have happened under my watch when I was drinking. Just one of those eye-openers to how much planning I put into drinking...

Dolly - yum to the scones and jam! I think we'd get along pretty well in the kitchen and pantry. I canned 4 jars of dilly bean and 4 (more) jars of pickles today. I'm an avid gardener and just got back into canning this year after a 2 year hiatus during which I froze my harvests. Unfortunately, we lost power for longer than 5 days in both years, and lost all our freezer stuff, so I'm back to canning. Not risking it again!

I've been sober for 22 days now. Feels like an eternity. My brain feels like it's coming back into focus, which is really great. I've gotten lots of compliments on how I look - no weight loss, but I guess I look better? The anxiety that plagued me in the first week or two of my journey here has really let up, and I feel so much more normal.

Dollyangel17

Oh I hear that Bebetter....I never risked running out! Always bought extra. My hubby would never even think about how much was in the house, and if he would be able to get more if needed.

I haven't canned in ages. Actually, I haven't done it since I have been married. I used to do it with my mom all the time. Now I have more "free time" to do things now that I am not spending every Sat. And Sun. Afternoon in a bar:-)

I do love cooking, and trying new recipes and ideas. You should see me cookbook collection:-). Ugh, a bit of an addiction with those too:-)

Dollyangel17

Ippochick...I am 82 days sober with a 6 year old daughter. I never realized (or chose to ignore) how my drinking affected them.

Like now...when I go grocery shopping, and come back after an hour or so, my daughter says..."mom, why did you come home so early?" That's because when I shopped before, I would stop at the bar and "make my list", and 3 hours later, I might make it to the grocery store, then all but kill the people in the aisles in my rush to go home:-(

Each day sober is one day closer to making amends to both my husband and daughter, AND myself for lost time.

Hugs to you, and I hope you stay with us.

Ladybug2

Hi Moms,

Hope everyone had a nice weekend?! I struggled on Friday and ended up having a few drinks. It's just not like it used to be and I don't know why I even bother. Sick of this cycle and constant struggle. It has to end. Just feeling very defeated, but I keep doing it to myself. Why, why, why? Maybe I need more support at home, or maybe I need to go back and try AA again? I see other people hitting milestones and succeeding at staying sober, but I can't make it past 48 days .... Anyway, not feeling sorry for myself, just more p***ed off at myself. Need to keep moving forward, though. Day 3 tomorrow and a néw week.

Thanks for listening and for your support, ladies

Dollyangel17

Oh...Ladybug, sorry you struggled...I know how hard it is. Were you out or at home? Any specific triggers at work?

You will get this...just keep at it.

ImperfectlyMe

Hey serenity so sorry for your struggles!
Welcome ippochick
Ladybug thank you do much for sharing your struggle, you will get there. I guess it's like some if the old timers say that once you start again it's gets harder and harder to stay stopped. We are all here for you!!!

JustSarah

Hey guys, so I went on a hen-doo this Saturday and I actually decided to drink - I would be on 6 weeks tomoz but am now back to day 2. I must say the hen-doo would have been good had my mate not decided to fall in the road on our way home then went hysterical and claimed I hit her...on the leg... It was the most ridiculous, nonesensicle night I have had for years. It reminds me why I don't like to drink or deal with drunk people. I was silly to drink and am kicking myself today but here we go again. Eugh!!

Hello to all newbies too xxx

Ladybug2

I know the feeling all too well, JustSarah. I really hate having to start over and just wish I could remember that when my stupid self decides to drink. We can get it right this time!

Ladybug2

Thanks, Dolly & Inperfectlyme, for the support. I almost didn't come back this time, not because I wanted to keep drinking, but because of shame and embarrassment. How many times can a gal keep coming back with her tail between her legs?! Ugh. I know you are all here for me and that is why I came back. Couldn't do this without you all

Hope everyone has a great Monday. Off to take my daughter to a waterpark for the day. Need to get out of the house and my head for awhile!

kellyg

I feel the exact same way Ladybug! I let my husband talk me into drinking Friday night and I've felt guilty and ashamed ever since. I've thought about saying goodbye to this group since I get four-6 days under my belt and then fall off the wagon again. Now, I am not only disappointing myself and family but now you all on this forum

I am mad at myself, yes, for drinking Friday but I am also mad at my husband for even making drinking an option that night. He has known for a long time that I have a drinking problem and has asked me to get help many times. So he knows the extent of my issues. He even told me recently that he just doesn't understand why I can't stop after all the bad things that have happened due to it. And yet he tells me I should drink on Friday so we can have "fun". Apparently, I am not much fun when I am sober. I just feel like instead of thinking of me and what is best he was thinking of himself. I know that ultimately it is my decision, however, how am I supposed to get sober if my H puts drinking on the table? Isn't that enabling me?

I feel like I am definitely going through with my separation plans next month. I need to focus on me, my son, and getting sober and I need a break from my H. I feel horribly guilty about this and how it will affect my son but this is several years in the making and I think I need to just DO it.

Thanks for listening all.