MyTimeNow

I'd ditch it cheapred but that's just me. My cravings have gone now they're all singing You'll Never Walk Alone very badly 2 gardens down. They're clearly getting to that annoying stage

Well done Sonrisa on 15 days. It has been tough. I think I made it tougher for myself by arranging to go to the SMART meeting (if that makes sense?) What this is for real? Really for real? Anyway my Mum told me she is still fine for Tuesday unless I change my mind. Nope definitely not changing my mind now! Still haven't heard from them though, it says it's an open meeting, so I assume I just turn up? ..

Hey ho, bedtime. Have a good one all

cheapredwino

Yeah, I got a week in, so I may as well make it two.

Lifebeginsat41

Hey Bird glad you dropped by and glad you went to a meeting. I went to my 4th tonight and shared for the first time - only a short one but I did it and feel so much better for it.

Hang in there - and take care of yourself.

Lifebeginsat41

Good idea; after all you've done a week so you can definitely do two.

I'm on day 24 so a word to the wise - I've literally taken it one day at a time; I'm not even looking ahead to have done a month until the day I get there. For me that is not so scary and it might help you fight the impulses (such as buying a bottle of wine).

Keep strong for today.

ippochick

hey bird, good to hear from you!

day 14 done here. i am amazed. it's definitely a case of one day at a time, otherwise its overwhelming and the i-can't-do-this thoughts come back.

night all, i'll be back to bother you all tomorrow x

Sonrisa12

Here is a story for you....

I got my LFTs checked (Liver Function Tests done) when I was in the height of my drinking, and they came back normal. I did some reading, that even if they are normal, it doesn't mean that damage hasn't been done to your liver. I had a friend tell me, when I was drinking everyday, that the sclera of my eyes were yellowish. I looked in the mirror and I could see a hint of yellow too. NO BUENO...

So I looked it up in some of my old medical text books and online. Not to diagnose myself, but I'm sure I have a fatty liver - and with this, your enzymes can be normal, believe it or not. Its the second stage in liver disease that this usually happens, jaundice of the sclera of the eyes and my skin. Well, sad to say, it wasn't the first time my eyes had a yellowish tinge.

Good news that unless cirrhosis sets in, its reversible, if you stop alcohol, which I have, I'm in good shape.

So I guess the reason why I'm sharing is that I know my liver is jacked a bit. I'm hoping it heals itself and they only way it can do that is by not drinking So I'm not drinking! But what a really messed up way to learn that lesson. I mean, come on. WOW. Wake up call that should have happened months ago.

Don't always rely on what blood tests reveal - sometimes it doesn't tell the entire story.

Oh yes, and my eyes are back to normal now. Thank the Lord.

cheapredwino

Thanks Sonrisa. I was going to go back to drinking, but lowered to 2-3 bottles of wine a week, if my blood tests were fine, but now I don't believe I will. I had an ultrasound in 2008 and was told I had a fatty liver, but my doctor just laughed and said, "I think everybody in Nova Scotia has a fatty liver."

Bensmammy

Hi guys just back gone from dropping little mister at mt parents in Scotland - wifi has been on and off all day thought I'd sent a post but it didn't send .... Anyway I think I'm on day 12 - collected hubby n friends from pub on way back from
Airport - police were doing random breath tests - guess who past with flying colours

Sonrisa12

Hi CRW

Yes, it really is a dangerous thing, a fatty liver. Its a precursor to a more serious condition that is irreversible - cirrhosis. But this thing (alcohol) gets a hold of you and you just lose all sense of reason (well, I do, I can't speak for anyone else).

Yes, that is what I learned. That your LFTs can come back normal and the only way to check for a fatty liver is with an ultrasound. So if you were already diagnosed, then probably a good idea to stop. I do know that if you stop, your liver can and will repair itself but it takes time. But after a while, if you continue to drink, you run the risk of cirrhosis and then, your options are really limited. When my friend told me last year that my eyes were yellow - it was true and I knew then, but I just didn't want to face it.

The way I'm looking at it is this - if I continue to drink, I know my time here on this earth is cut short. I know it. Its making me sick, mentally and physically, and at the end of the day, I want to do everything I can to maintain my health so I can be on this earth as long as I can - on my own terms. So, this is why I'm determined to stop even though its bloody hard.

I wish you luck my friend. I hope you maintain your sobriety. I wish you the best of luck with it

bemyself

thanks for the welcome all (and an extra hug to you MTN - I've been following your re-start journey, and I'm waving my faded Tibetan prayer flags for ya :-) And btw, yes, apologies for doing the wrong name thing a while back: I took your point immediately).

Early morning here in Aus. I honestly don't know how today will play out. I babble on a bit about the 'relapsio ad nauseum' dynamic over in Secular Connections, so won't go into the gory details here. Suffice to say, I reckon it's important that I join a month group just for some structure.

Someone earlier asked if I was doing AA. The short answer is no, not these days; I almost lived in the rooms most of last year, but really don't feel comfortable with a lot of it. I may still, though, toddle along to a couple of my local meetings each week, just for f2f connection. But can only do that, physically, once I'm actually fully sober. Same thing applies to any other support groups I could attend in the area, including getting a counsellor appointment for underlying depression etc.

Hope you're all choofing along nicely up there in the Northern Hemi summer. Still a classic Melbournian winter going on here....blah. Still....to everything a season, eh? Especially getting sober :-)

cheapredwino

Actually, I'm a bit of a landlord, and I had an old man check in a few months ago. His skin was greyish-yellow and he looked like a corpse, but he was happy and cheery (and drunk) when he checked in. I had to fix his toilet the day he moved in, and he was a great guy but a daily drunk. He was here for about a month or so and then one day I realized that I hadn't seen him for a week. I knocked on his door but no answer, so I went in, and there he was, naked and dead, his face down in the blood he puked up and his skin looking like something from a horror movie. Alcohol finally did him in. I guess that's had an effect on me regarding the drinking. I don't want to be a pitiful old man who drinks himself to death in a cheap apartment.

Dee74

Hope you dumped that bottle cheapred - the peace of mind is worth way more than whatever it cost.

welcome pureblonde.

I'm not feeling well today, but it is what is.... if I can stay sober today I'm thinking you guys can too

D

D

DylanS

Hey - I didn't realize somehow that there were sobriety-dated groups here!

I belong to this group - I have the same sobriety date as you do, Ippochick (6/17/2013).

Read all the posts - glad to be here. I really like this idea of groups-by-month-of-sobriety.

On the fatty liver gig - I just came across a site doctoryourself(dot)com and it has a lot of nutritional/supplemental information. I came across it after reading The Vitamin Cure, the guy who counseled Bill W on niacin therapy. It's very interesting. I'm already upping my nutritional supplements as I've done damage to my eyes (opiate usage) and probably liver, as well.

Thanks for being here everyone - this is great.

Sonrisa12

That is a very sad story CRW. WOW.

Reminds me of the time I lived on the top floor of the building that was a walk up. I remember one of my neighbors was a drunk sitting on the stoop drinking all day, had that same yellow gray look. Well, I climbed up the stairs one day and there had to be over 500 flies in the hallway - so disgusting. I ran through them (my skin crawls as I write this..) and ran in my apartment and had NO idea what was going on. So I got my can of RAID and sprayed the hell out of the air, and they all died. I then called the super and told him what happened. That night they removed the drunk guy's body from his apartment. The flies were because of him. He must have been dead for a long time I think..

Ugh. crazy story.

bemyself

Jeepers, cheap red....that image is very powerful. I'm not surprised it's affected you so much.

As a renter too, I've had that vision of myself being found too. My own father was found after a couple of days, dead at 62, in his grungy one room in a faded 'private hotel'. This was early 1980s. His death certificate (which I only acquired fairly recently) only stated 'respiratory failure'. but I knew that his death would certainly have been the result of many decades of both drinking and smoking. I'm now 57.....still trying to get sober again, for precisely those kinds of reasons.

As Robby Robot often says: I didn't want to die drunk. Dare I say: it's sobering stuff.

KaytiP

Hi,
I'm new here, reading through threads...finding a place, I hope. I'm only 3 days sober after a big rock bottom fall since before that I didn't have a "problem". Eye opener-yes I do. I have to post at some point my "story" as I'm too embarrassed to talk to my friends yet & my "helpful" DH is driving me insane with his "expertise", changing gears & making me feel worse as he claims he's "helping". I just need support from people and who knows what else. All I know is I'm not drinking today, I'm tired, depressed & a whole host of other feelings....sorry this is so random I just needed to post something, somewhere. Thanks.

Ladybug2

Hi everyone, I am back to Day 1 and would like to join this class. I joined the April class and slipped twice so I then joined the May class and got to 48 days before relapsing last Sat. However, I got right back on and did another 7 days, but slipped again last night Making this my last attempt and determined to get it right this time. I loved how I felt during those 48 days and I want to get back there. Been following this thread so feel like I know all of you This is a great group. Congrats to those who are doing so well and for those struggling - I sure can relate. This is very hard, but I know it will be worth it in the end. I have come so far since joining this forum on April 1 and I am not giving up. Hope we can help each other

Dee74

welcome ladybug

think about what keeps happening and what you can do differently and I don;t think you'll go far wrong

you can do this

D

PureBlonde1

Hi KaytiP,
I am new too, as in I only found this thread yesterday I can't talk to anyone else either, but my DH (who was supposed to be helping me have a nice evening last week at the start of my quit) decided to start a bi-polar episode instead! I guess that he didn't do that deliberately, though He was gone for 3 days, and is just starting to be civil to me now, but I did it anyway - 8 days today!
Those images of the dead drunks are a very sobering thought. It must have been an awful experience to go through that.
Very windy and rainy here on the East Coast of Australia today.

bemyself

Hi to DylanS, Ladybug, Katiyp and PureBlonde. Yes, Ladybug, we're a mixed bunch aren't we?!

Oh and Pure Blonde: a big special wave to you, from another Aussie (in Melbourne, but grew up in Sydney, so consider myself a New South Welsh woman at heart :-)