Class of April 2013 Part 5
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Jennie- The creative writing program sounds like tons of fun. And better you taking up the thread than me! Seriously though, our class is getting quieter and quieter... I guess cause everybody is doing well. Post as much as you want!
Drake- Hang in there. It'll get better one way or another.
It's day 74 no alcohol for me. It's nice to see the number growing!
Drake- Hang in there. It'll get better one way or another.
It's day 74 no alcohol for me. It's nice to see the number growing!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
Thanks DG... and congrats on 74 days! 
When I felt down, overwhelmed and anxious is when the booze really flowed. I know I won't go back... but the easy fix of getting smashed and screw it all is tempting sometimes.
When I felt down, overwhelmed and anxious is when the booze really flowed. I know I won't go back... but the easy fix of getting smashed and screw it all is tempting sometimes.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Sooo... speaking of PMS... UGG.. think I'm gonna be in for a couple of rough days.
I feel so depressed. At least this time around I know what is going on... that has to be better than the first time sober.
I just want to go get high as hell, but I guess that probably won't really help.
It's funny how when you feel depressed, your brain just pulls thoughts that make you more depressed. Things that I thought I was getting over come back to mind and have more force.
Maybe I'll go crawl back in bed. Turn the AC up so I can curl up with a blanket and not be too hot.
Everything feels overwhelming right now. I really need to eat breakfast, but out of breakfast food. Need to go to the store, but too hungry and upset to feel like I can handle it at the moment. I guess I just need to find something to eat.
I feel so depressed. At least this time around I know what is going on... that has to be better than the first time sober.
I just want to go get high as hell, but I guess that probably won't really help.
It's funny how when you feel depressed, your brain just pulls thoughts that make you more depressed. Things that I thought I was getting over come back to mind and have more force.
Maybe I'll go crawl back in bed. Turn the AC up so I can curl up with a blanket and not be too hot.
Everything feels overwhelming right now. I really need to eat breakfast, but out of breakfast food. Need to go to the store, but too hungry and upset to feel like I can handle it at the moment. I guess I just need to find something to eat.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Hi all,
Day 47 and today I really want to drink. I have been doing so well and all of a sudden I have had these thoughts of giving in today. Don't know why today, exactly. Another beautiful summer day, in-laws are here today playing with my daughter and it's the start of the weekend. I guess those are all triggers? AV keeps sayings "just reward yourself for 1 day" ugh. Just want to go to my favorite restaurant and have a couple glasses of wine. I really am struggling with this today
I know I will hate myself tomorrow, though, so will keep fighting with AV.
Hope everyone else is having a great Friday!
Day 47 and today I really want to drink. I have been doing so well and all of a sudden I have had these thoughts of giving in today. Don't know why today, exactly. Another beautiful summer day, in-laws are here today playing with my daughter and it's the start of the weekend. I guess those are all triggers? AV keeps sayings "just reward yourself for 1 day" ugh. Just want to go to my favorite restaurant and have a couple glasses of wine. I really am struggling with this today
I know I will hate myself tomorrow, though, so will keep fighting with AV.
Hope everyone else is having a great Friday!
capra laeviculus
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: German Village, OH
Posts: 3,427
Heya folks!
66 days for me today... and no cravings. I'm still in the thick of all the crap I have to do to make the county happy... IOP 3 times a week (though I started it for my own reasons before they ordered me to do it), house arrest for 36 days starting next Tuesday, no rights to drive unless I have a blower in the truck with me.
I don't mind *any* of it... except... I'd really like to go ride my motorcycle. Doesn't seem too much to ask. After I finish all my penance and have all the letters stating that I'm a good boy I'm gonna ask the judge to lighten up a little. Eh, probably won't work, but it can't hurt to ask!
66 days for me today... and no cravings. I'm still in the thick of all the crap I have to do to make the county happy... IOP 3 times a week (though I started it for my own reasons before they ordered me to do it), house arrest for 36 days starting next Tuesday, no rights to drive unless I have a blower in the truck with me.
I don't mind *any* of it... except... I'd really like to go ride my motorcycle. Doesn't seem too much to ask. After I finish all my penance and have all the letters stating that I'm a good boy I'm gonna ask the judge to lighten up a little. Eh, probably won't work, but it can't hurt to ask!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: The South Pacific
Posts: 306
Hello all.
Keep fighting that AV back Ladybug. You've been down this road before, so you know what it's telling you is BS, and this time you're stronger, more resolved, and better prepared. Keep at it!
Sorry to hear you're having a rough patch DG. Try and remember it's temporary. I know, I know...being in the thick of it doesn't make that easy to remember, and it's probably not even comforting--but it is temporary.
Things are ok here. Still clippin' along. I've got a pile of work on my desk, and made some headway today. It's rather nice.
I'm finding I enjoy sketching/blocking out projects for other people less and less. I'd much rather lose myself in my cartoon characters than monkey about with some new advert. Problem is: cartoons aren't paying the bills right now.
Ah well. Practice, practice, practice. Someday perhaps.
Hope you are all well. Hang in. We may be more quiet lately, but our experience at this sober thing is getting better each minute we're sober.
Keep fighting that AV back Ladybug. You've been down this road before, so you know what it's telling you is BS, and this time you're stronger, more resolved, and better prepared. Keep at it!
Sorry to hear you're having a rough patch DG. Try and remember it's temporary. I know, I know...being in the thick of it doesn't make that easy to remember, and it's probably not even comforting--but it is temporary.
Things are ok here. Still clippin' along. I've got a pile of work on my desk, and made some headway today. It's rather nice.
I'm finding I enjoy sketching/blocking out projects for other people less and less. I'd much rather lose myself in my cartoon characters than monkey about with some new advert. Problem is: cartoons aren't paying the bills right now.
Ah well. Practice, practice, practice. Someday perhaps.
Hope you are all well. Hang in. We may be more quiet lately, but our experience at this sober thing is getting better each minute we're sober.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Originally Posted by ScoutBall 
Hello all.
Keep fighting that AV back Ladybug. You've been down this road before, so you know what it's telling you is BS, and this time you're stronger, more resolved, and better prepared. Keep at it!.
Keep fighting that AV back Ladybug. You've been down this road before, so you know what it's telling you is BS, and this time you're stronger, more resolved, and better prepared. Keep at it!.
This is so true and I was able to push through it. So glad I will be waking up to Day 48 instead of Day 1. Don't know what is was today, but it came out of nowhere! Scary
Thanks, DG and Scoutie, for your words of encouragement
2 detoxes down, 0 to go
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 284
77 days and still going. Work is good but I'm growing tired of not having much of a social life, which is a little weird because in the final days (years) of my drinking, I pretty much withdrew from everyone anyway. I'm just trying to keep my mind occupied as much as possible. Need to hit the gym more often - that seems to help with everything else. I'm almost to the point where my relapse occurred after 83 days and while I have absolutely no desire to get a bottle, I'm definitely dealing with the issues that caused it, mostly boredom. Life is sooooo much better than it was as a drunk, but at the same time, I can't help but feel like "this is it??"
Tomorrow is another day. And there won't be any vodka anywhere near me tonight or tomorrow or any other day or night and that's all that really matters. I have to trust that things will continue to improve naturally and keep reminding myself that my body and brain are still recovering and a lot of whatever funk I find myself in on a given day is part of the healing process and eventually it will all be in the past.
Rambling, lol. Hope all are well this weekend.
Tomorrow is another day. And there won't be any vodka anywhere near me tonight or tomorrow or any other day or night and that's all that really matters. I have to trust that things will continue to improve naturally and keep reminding myself that my body and brain are still recovering and a lot of whatever funk I find myself in on a given day is part of the healing process and eventually it will all be in the past.
Rambling, lol. Hope all are well this weekend.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Hey gang, everybody gearing up for a sober weekend? DG... try to relax and maybe drink some tea? Herbal teas without caffeine. I wish I could curl up in my bed this weekend, instead we are preparing for a trip out of town to see my grandfather... long overdue. He will love it. We will too. I just tend to get anxiety leaving my house. But I'll be fine. Just gotta work through. And breathe Taking the new kitten in the car with us. Probably taking the two kayaks. My grandfather lives near a big lake. Should be a good time.
Ladybug, hang tight and don't even think about a drink... think of all the fun things you can do that do not involve something that's going to give you a nasty hangover and make you have to start your count over at day 1. Pulling for ya!!
Goat, how is IOP going? Started that yet? I went for 20 days. Loved it!!! Glad I went.
ScoutBall, so you draw cartoons and comics then? Did you draw your avatar?
Paul, congrats on 77 days! Are there any hobbies you used to have that you let go? Maybe you can find a new hobby perhaps? Instead of staying bored anyways.
Drake, hope you're doing well
Well... we got rid of our landline phone today and got a Skype # and subscription. Sound quality isn't so great. But it's got a feature where we can forward all calls to any number... so I've got it set to forward them to my cell when we are out of town. Love it!! Instead of paying AT&T $250 a year, we're now only paying Skype $60!! More money to pay down debt with, this makes my penny-pinching husband very very happy. Lol. I feel like I accomplished a great thing today
I'm into Chapter 2 of Marya Hornbacher's book, Waiting. Its great. Hope I get to read a lot of it this weekend.
Hang tight gang, we can make it through the weekend unscathed!
Taking the new kitten in the car with us. Probably taking the two kayaks. My grandfather lives near a big lake. Should be a good time.Ladybug, hang tight and don't even think about a drink... think of all the fun things you can do that do not involve something that's going to give you a nasty hangover and make you have to start your count over at day 1. Pulling for ya!!
Goat, how is IOP going? Started that yet? I went for 20 days. Loved it!!! Glad I went.
ScoutBall, so you draw cartoons and comics then? Did you draw your avatar?
Paul, congrats on 77 days! Are there any hobbies you used to have that you let go? Maybe you can find a new hobby perhaps? Instead of staying bored anyways.
Drake, hope you're doing well
Well... we got rid of our landline phone today and got a Skype # and subscription. Sound quality isn't so great. But it's got a feature where we can forward all calls to any number... so I've got it set to forward them to my cell when we are out of town. Love it!! Instead of paying AT&T $250 a year, we're now only paying Skype $60!! More money to pay down debt with, this makes my penny-pinching husband very very happy. Lol. I feel like I accomplished a great thing today
I'm into Chapter 2 of Marya Hornbacher's book, Waiting. Its great. Hope I get to read a lot of it this weekend.
Hang tight gang, we can make it through the weekend unscathed!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Goat-- Way to go on 66 days. I had to Google IOP...Not sure what exactly an 'Inanimate Objects Party' is or why you gotta go 3 times a week, but that sounds like fun! (I'm joking here, of course...)
Scoutie- Love the new avatar!
Lady- Glad you made it through the day. Hope tomorrow is easier on you.
AnotherPaul- 77 days is awesome. I know what you mean about being tired of not having much of a social life and the boredom. I'm facing both at the moment as well. I guess that if we grow too uncomfortable with the situation, maybe it will motivate us to find new activities and friends... perhaps something good will come of it. But for now, it's a little tough.
SoberJennie- Kayaking at the lake sounds like a good time... hope you're not taking the kitten along for that part!
I've made it through the day. A little bugged by the fact that I feel like I do more around the house than bf... I seem to be mostly unsuccessful at getting him to help. Maybe it's just my perspective and I'm not aware of all of the things he does. I'm at this point where I feel like I've given up on trying to get his help and like I might as well just do it all myself. It's kind of a depressing way to feel, but at least it gives me the option of taking care of things rather than being upset that he's not.
Things feel so 'blah', or as Scoutie would probably put it 'meh'. So many more things that need changed in my life.
But I officially made it 24 hours no cigarettes, no alcohol, no weed AND no caffeine. Which means I really made it a whole 24 hours ENTIRELY drug & alcohol free. I think I was 15 the last time I could claim that, but I'm not quite sure. I know it's been a LONG time.
Scoutie- Love the new avatar!
Lady- Glad you made it through the day. Hope tomorrow is easier on you.
AnotherPaul- 77 days is awesome. I know what you mean about being tired of not having much of a social life and the boredom. I'm facing both at the moment as well. I guess that if we grow too uncomfortable with the situation, maybe it will motivate us to find new activities and friends... perhaps something good will come of it. But for now, it's a little tough.
SoberJennie- Kayaking at the lake sounds like a good time... hope you're not taking the kitten along for that part!
I've made it through the day. A little bugged by the fact that I feel like I do more around the house than bf... I seem to be mostly unsuccessful at getting him to help. Maybe it's just my perspective and I'm not aware of all of the things he does. I'm at this point where I feel like I've given up on trying to get his help and like I might as well just do it all myself. It's kind of a depressing way to feel, but at least it gives me the option of taking care of things rather than being upset that he's not.
Things feel so 'blah', or as Scoutie would probably put it 'meh'. So many more things that need changed in my life.
But I officially made it 24 hours no cigarettes, no alcohol, no weed AND no caffeine. Which means I really made it a whole 24 hours ENTIRELY drug & alcohol free. I think I was 15 the last time I could claim that, but I'm not quite sure. I know it's been a LONG time.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
And SoberJennie- I've definitely been downing non-caffeinated tea almost non-stop lately. I have to have some sort of warm cup of something in my hand... too many years with either a cup of coffee or an alcoholic drink always by my side. I think it's my new 'addiction'... although technically it's not supposed to be addictive!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
End of a long, busy but good day. There was a reception/memorial for a neighbor in my condo that died. They set up the champagne right in the hall across from me. I was not even tempted.
Have a great weekend class!
Have a great weekend class!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
congrats to Drake and Goat and Ladybug and Jennie and DG and Scout and Paul and everyone else celebrating a milestone today - have a great weekend guys
are you out there Johnny555? triathlynne? InperfectlyMe?
D
are you out there Johnny555? triathlynne? InperfectlyMe?
D
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Originally Posted by DG0409
SoberJennie- Kayaking at the lake sounds like a good time... hope you're not taking the kitten along for that part!
This little kitten is so hyper and playful... I'm thinking she might like it. Depends on how she handles the car ride.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: The South Pacific
Posts: 306
Winding down a pretty productive day here in the islands. Got a lot of computer work done, which is the bane of my existence. I do an email, scribble at my desk, do another, scribble. I'd much, much, rather scribble.
I don't think I mentioned: this is day 7 of JUST Blue Dog and I. Wif is at training until next Sunday. If I'm completely honest with you guys, I had about .7 seconds of: I can have a rager of a bender, and no one would ever know!!! I was pretty stoked that I shut that down pretty darn quick.
AnotherPaul: I hear you loud and clear...I've been mired a bit lately, with that exact thought. Is this it? I've taken Dee's experience, and advice to heart. The years I spent wrecking myself is going to take more than the short time I've been sober to get all fixed up. I'm trying to go from Is this it? To THIS is it!, as I am not wasting my health, money, and relationships on booze, and the inane BS that goes with boozing. Hiding, sneaking, lying, all that evil shite that no one feels good about.
Bug: I absolutely knew you could do it. Your AV ain't got nothing on you. Well done!
SoberJennie: I draw whatever is paying. I'm an illustrator, but more like a pencil for hire. I tell little kids and gorgeous girls that I'm a cartoonist, but when it comes to paying bills I'll draw the dinner menu.
Yes, I did draw my avatar...it is me, with Blue Dog, who wears sunglasses and blows things up. (Cartoon Blue Dog only).
DG: Blah is synonymous with Meh in Scoutie's Contemporary Word Meaning Thingamajig.
Kick butt this weekend guys. I know you will.
sb
I don't think I mentioned: this is day 7 of JUST Blue Dog and I. Wif is at training until next Sunday. If I'm completely honest with you guys, I had about .7 seconds of: I can have a rager of a bender, and no one would ever know!!! I was pretty stoked that I shut that down pretty darn quick.
AnotherPaul: I hear you loud and clear...I've been mired a bit lately, with that exact thought. Is this it? I've taken Dee's experience, and advice to heart. The years I spent wrecking myself is going to take more than the short time I've been sober to get all fixed up. I'm trying to go from Is this it? To THIS is it!, as I am not wasting my health, money, and relationships on booze, and the inane BS that goes with boozing. Hiding, sneaking, lying, all that evil shite that no one feels good about.
Bug: I absolutely knew you could do it. Your AV ain't got nothing on you. Well done!
SoberJennie: I draw whatever is paying. I'm an illustrator, but more like a pencil for hire. I tell little kids and gorgeous girls that I'm a cartoonist, but when it comes to paying bills I'll draw the dinner menu.
Yes, I did draw my avatar...it is me, with Blue Dog, who wears sunglasses and blows things up. (Cartoon Blue Dog only).DG: Blah is synonymous with Meh in Scoutie's Contemporary Word Meaning Thingamajig.
Kick butt this weekend guys. I know you will.
sb
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Good morning, all,
Yesterday was such a strange day, craving wise. Today I feel back to my "normal" self (well, if you'd call it normal). AV is gone, for now.
I hear everyone on the "blah" or "meh" feeling. Have lots going on right now to keep me busy, but can't help feeling disappointed at the thought of NEVER being able to have a drink again. Tonight, hubby and I are going on a date night to celebrate it being 5 yrs since we met. I would normally be excited all day looking forward to my bleu cheese stuffed martini's and getting drunk, but now I am trying to look forward to the yummy food and more meaningful time with the hubby that I will actually remember! It is hard, though, our minds are so "trained" a certain way and it is going to take time to establish new routines and memories. At 48 days I feel like I have come so far, yet I have so much farther to go ... I have to keep remembering that overall I REALLY enjoy my sober life better.
Hope everyone is enjoying their weekends and thanks, again, for the support!
Yesterday was such a strange day, craving wise. Today I feel back to my "normal" self (well, if you'd call it normal
). AV is gone, for now. I hear everyone on the "blah" or "meh" feeling. Have lots going on right now to keep me busy, but can't help feeling disappointed at the thought of NEVER being able to have a drink again. Tonight, hubby and I are going on a date night to celebrate it being 5 yrs since we met. I would normally be excited all day looking forward to my bleu cheese stuffed martini's and getting drunk, but now I am trying to look forward to the yummy food and more meaningful time with the hubby that I will actually remember! It is hard, though, our minds are so "trained" a certain way and it is going to take time to establish new routines and memories. At 48 days I feel like I have come so far, yet I have so much farther to go ... I have to keep remembering that overall I REALLY enjoy my sober life better.
Hope everyone is enjoying their weekends and thanks, again, for the support!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
7 days on Prozac and everything is turning around. I didn't realize how depressed I was. The dirty, cluttered apartment. Not doing laundry or taking showers. Exhausted and sleeping. Joint pain. I couldn't concentrate at all. I was nervous on the roads, and angry all the time. And the issues with my digestion. All clearing up very nicely. When I was a raging boozer I guess I was not on enough prozac and when I stopped I also stopped the prozac. After a month, hopelessness and binges. It's odd that a depressed person can't figure out that the lack of meds is causing the all of those issues. I really just have no clue or I purposely suppress the idea. It's just the way it works I guess. I've been through it many times.
But I am sober and feel really good now. I had my first 'good long day,' today. I was doing things, was relaxed and never got tired. Of course productivity needs to increase and I need to implement my schedule, but with the Prozac on board I am way stronger. I'll take it slow.
My friend told me that the walls I mangled in here are a massive source of anxiety for me. I realized they are. We knew that, but they REALLY are. Screw it.
Anyway, I will keep going.
Jennie? What was that link you like that was about being afraid to make a decision or choices? I would like to read that as I never did.
But I am sober and feel really good now. I had my first 'good long day,' today. I was doing things, was relaxed and never got tired. Of course productivity needs to increase and I need to implement my schedule, but with the Prozac on board I am way stronger. I'll take it slow.
My friend told me that the walls I mangled in here are a massive source of anxiety for me. I realized they are. We knew that, but they REALLY are. Screw it.
Anyway, I will keep going.
Jennie? What was that link you like that was about being afraid to make a decision or choices? I would like to read that as I never did.
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