Lifebeginsat41

Hello everyone

Horrid cravings in the car on the way home - found myself rationalising why I was 'allowed' some wine to celebrate not drinking wine. Whichever way you look at it, that simply doesn't make sense.

I have a bottle of Eisberg alcohol free red wine my friend bought me - I haven't opened it yet but I may do tonight. We'll see. I don't want my son and husband to see me with a glass of wine - even alcohol free - in my hand this close to last week in case it brings back bad memories for them.

Day 8 today. I will make day 9.

Wishing you health & happiness, peace and serenity over this weekend.

BlueSkiesAB

When I left the house this morning, I kept worrying about my husband jumping on my pc or my laptop and finding the SR forum. I would also "die" if he found out I was here. I have thought of telling him but I don't want to have 'the' discussion you know?

BlueSkiesAB

Does anyone have a hangover cure? Blah! I feel just gross. I am hungry but can't stand the thought of food. Trying to hydrate but no desire to drink water or anything really. Can't wait to feel better in a few hours I tell ya! Why do we punish ourselves ....

Sinderos

Blueskies, chances are your hubby already knows you have a drinking problem. If anything, him knowing you're in a support group trying to do better would make him feel better. If he doesn't support you in your efforts to get sober, then in my opinion you should evaluate your relationship. There is nothing bad that will come from you getting sober. However if you continue as you are it is all downhill. Only you can choose to get better and make it happen. Good luck!

Mrbeagle

Checking in from beautiful, sunny Paris. 8pm here, off out for a view of the city at night, totally alcohol free!

Have a great night all, hope you are all well

BlueSkiesAB

Sinderos, you are correct. He knows there is a drinking problem. He would definitely support me, that is not the concern. He tends to go 'overboard' with rants and I guess I am saying that I am not ready to listen for hours on end about how my parents were alcoholics and that he knew this was going to happen and how my daughter is going to follow the same path ... blah blah blah. You get the drift. To be honest, I don't want to verbalize my drinking issue with him because I want to be able to socially drink and if I say something, I know he won't let me and will watch me like a mother hawk. I suspect that would not be a bad thing but I don't want to be constantly watched or asked if I have been drinking. Make sense?

Ali123

Enjoy MrB that's really great, I love Paris, enjoy all the great food!

BlueSkiesAB

Hello MrBeagle! Congrats on being alcohol free! Have a great night.

sunshinescooby

Hello Freddy Bear.. Sometimes you just have to grind it out as they say.. That beer will only make you feel better for a short time.. and then after... regret, remorse, hangover, etc.. HOpe you made it through!

sunshinescooby

Hi LB41.. I do the same thing.. "Gee..if I make it to Sunday and have been sober for 6 days straight, don't I "deserve" a glass of wine or two?" Well chances are I could probably have 2-3 glasses of wine on Sunday and then not drink all next week..

but then the following week I'd say.. I've been sober 12 out of 14 days.. so what will it hurt if I drink on Saturday AND Sunday and let's say I have 8 more drinks.. and then the next week I'll only stay sober 4 days and then 3 and then I'll be back to drinking every day..

I'm not the type of alcoholic that drinks until I black out, but I end up catching a buzz every day.. and I feel that I can't stop. and if you feel you can't stop or if you have to be on SR talking about cravings, or stupid behavior then you must be an addict.. (IMHO)..

I'm not having cravings so bad today, but I am still constantly thinking about drinking.. My mind is trying to play tricks on me.. "never drinking again"? "are you crazy"? So I try to block those thoughts out and do it ODAAT.. hopefully it will get easier.

Do Sober alcoholics ever forget about alcohol? Do they catch themselves noticing that days go by and they don't think about it?

Thanks for reading..

1stepup

hi everyone, I slipped last Tuesday and it led on until today, could feel it building up, the only blessing is I didn't black out and im back on track today. Got to re-think my sobriety plans. Sorry.

AllieB

Welcome back, 1stepup!

Lifebeginsat41

Thanks SunshineScooby - I was quite cross with myself that I was thinking that way, and I completely agree that I would have rationalised how you described. But I didn't have a drink (apart from fizzy peach water) and I feel fine now. ODAAT is easier on my brain too - it doesn't panic at the thought of 'never again' :-)

Welcome back 1Step - glad you're back n track for you.

Citrus

Hi class of June! I am back here with my tail between my legs. Today is a new day one for me. I am so sick of drinking!! I have so many reasons not to drink, but I keep finding myself going back to beer after a few days of not drinking and promising myself I am done drinking. The longest I've gone without drinking in the past six months is when I stay close to SR.
So the game plan now is getting the rest of the beer out of my house. I think there are about 6 here, DH can have those over the weekend. Then if he wants beer he is going to have to drink elsewhere! I have begged him to help me stop drinking quite a few times and he is really supportive but he likes his beer also, but doesn't have a problem at all with moderation. So he will bring beer home and hide it and somehow I always stumble upon it and end up drinking it. I'm not blaming him I know this is my problem, but I think for a while at least he needs to keep the beer away from our home.
I also plan to try to find some AA online meetings. We really have none close to my home. I have no idea if AA will help me, but I've GOT to try something else, anything else to make me stop.
Whew, sorry I didn't mean to be so long winded. I look forward to getting to know all of you here in the June class.

4Surf4Life

Welcome Citrus and welcome back 1stepup! Glad to see you guys are back and ready to fight!

Wow! Woke up at 6am Saturday without an alarm clock or a pounding headache. Feels so much better than the vast majority of Sat/Sun (mon/tues/weds/thurs/fri) mornings I've had over the past several years. I will remember this feeling in the afternoon and make it through a sober Saturday. Might even check out the 24hour commitment threads...

Have a great weekend!

Dee74

welcome citrus and alcoholic123

I don;t think any of us likes to be frustrated or scared or angry or bored - and the fact that we know there's something there that's worked in the past to instantly change our mood is very persuasive.

I had to play the long game tho - I knew where my drinking took me and where I ended up ...I had to balance that disaster against a little discomfort now...a discomfort which, no matter if my fear told me otherwise, I found I could live with and deal with, and which would disappear on it's own, if I let it.

Playing the tape through in the end - thinking past the rosy nostalgia of what a drink would be like, to the reality of where I ended up helped....so did urge surfing

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

I had to learn it's ok to be uncomfortable sometimes...it didn't kill me, and it actually made me stronger and helped me grow

D

1stepup

Glad to be back, the 'quick fix' doesn't work for me anymore, what Dee said in last post is SO relative to me, its the fact that alcohol does change my mood it is instant and it does give temporary relief. Im constantly trying to get to another place with drink but ultimately it never takes me there.

RunningClean

Well, in the end I did go and meet friends in the pub, but I also managed to stay on Diet Coke....and no-one batted an eyelid, which I was really pleased about. I just said that I was trying to lose some weight and that was that. I only stayed a couple of hours and then came home. I'm just about to get safely tucked up in bed.

I'm definitely going to an AA meeting tomorrow though, I feel like I need a meeting to help me stay strong!

Enjoy the weekend guys, stay focused!

4Surf4Life

RC, yeah it's interesting that at most times people are underwhelmed by us not drinking. I remember in October, my last go around, when I went out sober I expected people to be surprised and shocked. That lasted for about 2 seconds. Most drinkers are likely focused on themselves, which makes our abstinence a non-issue.

BlueSkiesAB

Well, it's almost 10 hours later and just starting to feel better from the binge last night. I am feeling rather strong in my thoughts of NO MORE wine, no more drinking. I hope to feel this way in a few days, weeks, months etc.