ElegantlyWasted

Hello June People. I am now among you after having been in the April Group. Let's rock out some effective June soberness.

Dee74

SMFS - what happens before you drink? whats the mental process?
maybe if we knew that we could help?

D

BlueSkiesAB

Uhmm... not sure of the rules here.... sorry .... I will understand if this post is deleted. Am I allowed to be here if I have had drinks? I am not drunk by any means but tonight I did cave. Unexpected company, business for hubby of course, had to make impromptu "nice" meal with vino of course. So as I slaved to accommodate all (I am exaggerating a bit here as I generally don't mind but I have been increasingly feeling irritated the last few days ... most likely b/c of no wine after dinner ... until now), I had prepared somewhat ... as I ran out at the last moment to get another bottle of wine (supposedly for company but it was meant for me). I think I have now got myself in trouble as hubby went to the kitchen to fill his wine glass and finished the bottle. I watched him finish his glass (I savored my glass trying so hard to be good at the table) and noticed that the guest had finished his glass. So, I sighed hard (internally of course) and opened the other bottle (sighed b/c I wanted it to be just mine ... I didn't want to share it ... I didn't want anyone to know I had it....). I opened it "for" the guest who declined a refill. I refilled my hubby's glass (he was doing this cute thing he does and holds the glass to his ear and 'listens to the wine"). He looked at me with this, "where did this come from?" look. I ignored it and carried on to do clean up and dishes (gag). Our guest exited moments ago. My hubby left his vino to do some "tractor" work. I now sit here and worry if I pushed it too far with this second bottle. Part of me says, "holy **** man, it's no big deal", my conscience says otherwise as it knows my intentions when I ran out to buy it.... BIG SIGH. ....

Dee74

We have many people here still struggling with staying sober BlueSkies.
To my mind it's what SR is all about.

Naturally rowdy insulting or obnoxious posting is not alllowed from anyone drunk or not - but no - you're always welcome

BlueSkiesAB

Thank you Dee74. I am not drunk and I don't mean to offend by any means. I am, most definitely, venting in the only safe place I feel that I have so THANK YOU for allowing me to do so EVERYONE.

Dee74

No worries - I know you're not offensive

Maybe it's good to think about what happened and to try and think of ways to not let entertaining your husbands clients turn into drinking opportunities for you?

D

BlueSkiesAB

Wow.. this is so interesting to be able to express myself this way. I had no other way to vent or be honest. I really do appreciate SR.

Sinderos

It's raining here and we have a chance for severe weather. It reminds me of the last major storm we had. I'm actually afraid of bad weather yet I "slept" through it thanks to my former bf vodka. The next day everyone was talking about how bad it was. I'm thankful to be sober right now listening to the rain.

It's the end of day 4 for me. I'm so glad to know I have a plan in place to make it to the end of day 5 sober. For now I will be thankful I will hear the storm tonight like a "normal" person. It's the little things.

Sinderos

This place has been so awesome for me. Even when I failed (twice), I wasn't shunned or made to feel bad. We can all relate to each other because we've all been there in some way or another. Keep coming back!!!

dalouie

Just got home from my second AA meeting. I like this. I feel comfortable there, and it gives me hope to see all these people have been surviving without the demon for weeks, months, years. Just like SR. I really appreciate this place exists, and I believe we are all going to become a close knit group. To the Class of June 2013!!!!

UpForIt

End of day 3 onto 4. Have a plan for tomorrow - not tomorrow night yet - thinking about checking out an AA online. I've never really done chatrooms, etc so not really up on protocols, etc. I might very well be just making excuses.

Biggest challenge today was not calling my XABF. Guess bad relationships are like booze - the further you get away from them the more you forget the bad and think - well, maybe...

Two rules for tomorrow - I will not drink and I will not call him.

UpForIt

Also to BlueSkies and anyone else feeling bad - since I'm going on day 4, I was you 3 days ago! You aren't alone.

Lifebeginsat41

Hi everyone especially SFMD & Blueskies - keep strong and don't beat yourself up. Guilt doesn't help - get through another day and feel proud.

Going back to the scene of my crime tomorrow - luckily for afternoon tea rather than an evening meal - and I've already per-warned the restaurant owner who is a friend - that I have a drinking problem so not to question me when I order a soft drink so feeling like that plan is going to keep me strong.

Day 8 today - hopefully without the early evening cravings!

Good luck everyone!

ajay49

Just starting DAY 5, and feeling good. Enjoyed the gym yesterday and had a swim afterwards. I've worked out that I have been spending over £100 a week on killing myself with wine, so this weekend I might treat myself with the money I've saved. The weekend is a danger zone because we usually dine out at a local restaurant, and that is where a lot of my excessive drinking takes place. I am always greeted warmly at the few local restaurants we use. Perhaps it's because I'm such a nice customer, or is it because I spend more on wine than most people spend on food, then leave an excessive tip because I'm drunk?
This weekend I think we'll try a new restaurant. One where their eyes don't light up at the prospect of a very profitable evening. One where they don't expect me to have consumed half a bottle of wine before I've decided on my starter. We can go to an expensive restaurant if we wish, and still have saved money on the week.

Dee74

have a great sober weekend folks

D

RunningClean

Day 14 here and feeling a strange mix of emotions. I'm obviously really pleased with my progress, but I feel a bit melancholy today. It feels like the fog is starting lift a little...but as it does I'm confronted with a view of the wreckage of my life that the fog had always kept out of view.

I have a friend in AA who used to be a good drinking-buddy. We talk on the phone once or twice a week and he mentioned that someone in his group said "the best thing about being sober is that your feelings come back. The worst thing about being sober is that your feelings come back." That sums up how I feel right now.

I'm not tempted to drink at all because I know that will only add more trouble and I'm exhausted with that life. Just feeling a bit weird today. I've also got friends starting to ask me to come out to the pub this weekend. I made my excuses last weekend but I feel like I can't avoid my friends forever! I'll stay on lemonade if I do go out, but I'd rather not put myself in harms way if you know what I mean. I'm unsure what the best way to handle this is. I don't want to be a hermit to my friends, but I don't want to spend the weekend propping up the bar either. The thought of doing that just bores me to tears to be honest.

I've got a gig on Sunday so I'm looking forward to that and I find it quite easy to avoid drinking when I'm busy with the band. But tonight and tomorrow night will be tough. Go to the pub and be bored, or stay at home and not see my friends?

Anyway, just wanted to vent a little. I hope everyone finds strength and peace this weekend. Keep on keeping on!

4Surf4Life

I'm in a similar situation RC, although I still do have some pretty strong cravings. Had a bottle of wine in my hand today at the convenience store... Opted instead for some cheesecake and ice cream, but I was pretty close to another slip. It's still pretty early here (8pm) but I feel like Ive made it through today a least. Tomorrow is Saturday night and I don't want to spend it out with a bunch of people that are drinking, but I also don't want to spend every weekend sitting around the house!

It was tough, but I'm sure that I'll be glad in the morning without even the trace of a hangover. Might have a little sugar withdrawals after the dessert I'm about to eat though... Wishing everyone a happy, sober weekend!

sunshinescooby

RC.. if I have 14 days I'm not sure I'd stay home, but I don't think I'd go to the pub.. On the few occasions when I've been in a social setting and not drinking when everyone else was, it was SO boring.. It made me want to drink because I was bored! How about the cinema instead?

Ali123

Completely understand where you're coming from RC. I have a party tomorrow night and I am going as I too still want to socialise and not be a hermit, although being a hermit is much safer at the moment. I've already made my excuses why I need to leave early so at least I'm showing my face but can leave without feeling bad as I'm just a bit worried about being bored! I'm concentrating on all the things I want to do and enjoy on Sunday with a clear head. I really am struggling with the thought of upcoming social events at the mo but will tackle each one when they come and hopefully it will just all get easier with time. It is only my 2nd sober weekend after all!

Dee74

I stayed away from all alcohol centered stuff for a while. I need to put the distance between new me and old me.

Doesn't mean you have to be a hermit RC - there's a world of things to do that don;t need alcohol.

D