Class of June 2013 Pt 2
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Originally Posted by MyTimeNow 
Classic Beast activity this afternoon. I was tired, I'd been food shopping, then had to buy something to wear in a shopping centre I hate, all accompanied by a 4 year old. Tonight is the meet up with friend night, in the pub. I'm tired, I'm stressed, I'm hungry *IT* could murder a drink. I thought I had all avenues covered with driving... but then my Beast rears up - hey there's always a taxi or you're on the bus route. Aaargh !!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've eaten and calmed down now. If it was for any other reason I would just cancel, but she has already messaged today to say how grateful she is for this and I've told her I'll pick her up at 8.
Ok so MY thinking now. It's the open evening of what will be DD's new school in September, I'm going to this anyway. I'm being a responsible parent who does not want to drink any more. *I* don't want to drink *IT* does. How do I know this? Because I was near in tears and so anxious and stressed about the thought of caving in to IT. I came very close. Is it what I want? No.
Nothing changes if nothing changes right? Well I want lots of things to change in my life, I've only just started, I'm not going to cave now. I know a lot of you will probably think I just shouldn't go, or we should meet elsewhere but the fact is we're not going to. Also she'll have 3 small glasses of wine. That wouldn't be enough for me. I'd end up getting smashed, spending a fortune, be incapable of doing anything tomorrow... Plus it's absolutely peeing it down - what's not to like about being able to jump in the car after a couple of hours?
Right I better have a quick tidy up before mother arrives!
Just had to get that out. I'm feeling a lot calmer now. It's 2 hours. I can do it.
I've eaten and calmed down now. If it was for any other reason I would just cancel, but she has already messaged today to say how grateful she is for this and I've told her I'll pick her up at 8.
Ok so MY thinking now. It's the open evening of what will be DD's new school in September, I'm going to this anyway. I'm being a responsible parent who does not want to drink any more. *I* don't want to drink *IT* does. How do I know this? Because I was near in tears and so anxious and stressed about the thought of caving in to IT. I came very close. Is it what I want? No.
Nothing changes if nothing changes right? Well I want lots of things to change in my life, I've only just started, I'm not going to cave now. I know a lot of you will probably think I just shouldn't go, or we should meet elsewhere but the fact is we're not going to. Also she'll have 3 small glasses of wine. That wouldn't be enough for me. I'd end up getting smashed, spending a fortune, be incapable of doing anything tomorrow... Plus it's absolutely peeing it down - what's not to like about being able to jump in the car after a couple of hours?
Right I better have a quick tidy up before mother arrives!
Just had to get that out. I'm feeling a lot calmer now. It's 2 hours. I can do it.
The Beast panics and sends flurries of AV at me. But we can take that in and just go forward.
Do it for you, I know you can.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 337
Originally Posted by ippochick
so my daughter's stepmother came to collect her this evening as usual. last time i saw her she was waking me up from a drunken stupor last friday afternoon. she can be a bit judgy but i deserve it and was steeled for a difficult conversation.
instead, she brought me flowers and gave me a massive hug.
tears, everywhere. i still feel i don't deserve the kindness. it spurs me on though. day 4 nearly done...
hope everyone's doing ok.
instead, she brought me flowers and gave me a massive hug.
tears, everywhere. i still feel i don't deserve the kindness. it spurs me on though. day 4 nearly done...
hope everyone's doing ok.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Fleetwood, Lancs
Posts: 56
That's beautiful Ippo, and you DO deserve it!
Just got back from AA, really enjoyed the meeting. If I can get to bed tomorrow without a drink, that'll be three weeks down, which will be a nice feeling. I must admit that the old AV is giving me some earache at the moment, but AA and SR are both hugely helpful in keeping the horrible squalid little beast under my foot. The start of another weekend tomorrow, so that'll bring it's challenges, but I'm going to deal with it as I have been doing so far...day by day (or hour by hour or minute by minute if I have to!)
Stay strong and be good to yourselves!
Just got back from AA, really enjoyed the meeting. If I can get to bed tomorrow without a drink, that'll be three weeks down, which will be a nice feeling. I must admit that the old AV is giving me some earache at the moment, but AA and SR are both hugely helpful in keeping the horrible squalid little beast under my foot. The start of another weekend tomorrow, so that'll bring it's challenges, but I'm going to deal with it as I have been doing so far...day by day (or hour by hour or minute by minute if I have to!)
Stay strong and be good to yourselves!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Fleetwood, Lancs
Posts: 56
Blimey Stark, I tell you something, I've been chugging away at sugary pop like there's no tomorrow! Maybe its just the habit of putting a drink to my lips? What is interesting is that I notice always having a sugary drink in my hand, yet I never noticed always having an alcoholic drink in my hand! Despite all that nasty sugar I've still lost 6lbs in the last three weeks, but I think I will follow your lead and put them down.
Then I'll only have smoking left! What a goody-two shoes I'm turning into!
Then I'll only have smoking left! What a goody-two shoes I'm turning into!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Northern California
Posts: 563
Ippo - that's so nice! My cats would tear up the flowers too - if I'm lucky enough to have some at home I have to keep them out on the balcony, where I can still see them and enjoy them but the sliding glass/screen door keeps the kitties out of them.
It's day four for me (and you too Ippo, right?) I am sooo hungry! Eating like a maniac. And not just sugary stuff - EVERYTHING! This happening to anyone else? Eeeek I will be as big as a house in no time, but I guess that's better than stumbling drunk and bloated.
Way to go everyone in the class of June!
NCG
It's day four for me (and you too Ippo, right?) I am sooo hungry! Eating like a maniac. And not just sugary stuff - EVERYTHING! This happening to anyone else? Eeeek I will be as big as a house in no time, but I guess that's better than stumbling drunk and bloated.
Way to go everyone in the class of June!
NCG
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 297
Originally Posted by NorCaliGal
It's day four for me (and you too Ippo, right?) I am sooo hungry! Eating like a maniac. And not just sugary stuff - EVERYTHING! This happening to anyone else? Eeeek I will be as big as a house in no time, but I guess that's better than stumbling drunk and bloated.
NCG
NCG
I'm actually on my second quit (I quit in late April, but stumbled for a day at the beginning of June), and I noticed that I craved chocolate all the flipping time when I first quit. That actually seems pretty common, and probably has a neurochemical root. Right now, I'm just inhaling the chips, which I think is more emotional than neurochemical.
Runningclean: 6lbs in a couple weeks? That's amazing! Well done!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Hungry, and eating everything in sight here too! Think its my bodies way of recouping all the nutrients Ive missed out on when poisoning it for so long! On the sugary drink thing im craving Dr Pepper for some reason?!! Havent drank the stuff for about 15 years but craving it all the same! Better than the booze though eh?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 145
Originally Posted by RunningClean
Blimey Stark, I tell you something, I've been chugging away at sugary pop like there's no tomorrow! Maybe its just the habit of putting a drink to my lips? What is interesting is that I notice always having a sugary drink in my hand, yet I never noticed always having an alcoholic drink in my hand! Despite all that nasty sugar I've still lost 6lbs in the last three weeks, but I think I will follow your lead and put them down.
Then I'll only have smoking left! What a goody-two shoes I'm turning into!
Then I'll only have smoking left! What a goody-two shoes I'm turning into!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Athens, Georgia
Posts: 962
Well, it is 6:41 pm here, and I am leaving work soon and going home...Sober...my new DAY 2.
Gilmer, I don't know if I sent a 'shout-out' when I saw you here, but it is good to be on the same thread.
Well, Thank God, I am sober today. My sponsor encouraged me to start and finish my days with the 3rd step prayer, and it has done good by me. I found a website that had the 3rd step, 7th step, and 11th step prayer, plus the long version of the serenity prayer and I downloaded it to my I-phone. Very encouraging, just like all the people on this JUNE 2011 SOBRIETY THREAD.
Gilmer, I don't know if I sent a 'shout-out' when I saw you here, but it is good to be on the same thread.
Well, Thank God, I am sober today. My sponsor encouraged me to start and finish my days with the 3rd step prayer, and it has done good by me. I found a website that had the 3rd step, 7th step, and 11th step prayer, plus the long version of the serenity prayer and I downloaded it to my I-phone. Very encouraging, just like all the people on this JUNE 2011 SOBRIETY THREAD.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 25
Back to check in at the bewitching hour .... Peaceful & pretty productive day but the beast is rumbling at me - you're bored & boring - it's a beautiful night to drink on the deck... But drinking alone ( my usual favorite activity ) fools me into thinking I'm not lonely because of my drunken thoughts are so entertaining -- NOOOOTTTT !!
Screw the Beast -- thank you less gravity.
And ye, eating more I think is much better than being drunk & not eating or not eating well at all ; or eating crazy stuff in the middle of the night and finding wrappers & stuff the next day ... Like a drunk squirrel had visited.
OK, going to have a huge cold glass of lemonade & maybe a Netflix movie to go with it.
Screw the Beast -- thank you less gravity.
And ye, eating more I think is much better than being drunk & not eating or not eating well at all ; or eating crazy stuff in the middle of the night and finding wrappers & stuff the next day ... Like a drunk squirrel had visited.
OK, going to have a huge cold glass of lemonade & maybe a Netflix movie to go with it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Athens, Georgia
Posts: 962
Hang in there Clarity. I am going to go home from work, do some work on my nightmare of past taxes, eat something, kiss my wife goodnight, drink some chamomile tea while I chat a little on Sober Recovery Chat Room, then say my 3rd step prayer, thank God for helping me stay sober today, then go to sleep....SOBER
And THANKS Dee...you are a great encouragement.
And THANKS Dee...you are a great encouragement.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 297
Originally Posted by ClarityJane
or eating crazy stuff in the middle of the night and finding wrappers & stuff the next day ... Like a drunk squirrel had visited.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 25
Thanks RDP, Im going to go find that prayer. Sorry AllieB but it's true, Pistachio nut shells, plastic wrap from cheeses, etc., chip crumbs, and I wouldn't even remember eating any of it. But guaranteed I would have skipped dinner to get my wine buzz on sooner. Gross.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Originally Posted by lessgravity
You can do it. Screw the Beast. My new way of informing that POS about my Big Plan is just this - "I don't drink." Not "I quit", not "I won't" just simply, "I don't"
The Beast panics and sends flurries of AV at me. But we can take that in and just go forward.
Do it for you, I know you can.
The Beast panics and sends flurries of AV at me. But we can take that in and just go forward.
Do it for you, I know you can.
The night was fine. My (IT's?) anticipation of it all was far worse than the reality. We only went to one pub, it was absolutely dead, just the 2 of us and a random drunk. My friend had 2 glasses of wine, I had 2 cokes, then we went back to hers and ordered a chinese. I'm not entirely sure what I was expecting as I've not been out in so long. Something more raucous and challenging.
Had a great chat, catch up, and in spite of the initial reason for a get together - laugh
Drove home, spent some time with Mum... and here I am.That is not an experience I want to repeat any time soon though. The build up was far too stressful. Cut straight to the chinese next time!
Mum bought me some Valerian tea, so that's me then bed.
So pleased I did it, not just the not drinking, but actually going out and having a nice time without. I'm happy to skip the pub though - looking back, I think my friend only suggested it as she thought that's where I'd want to go.
Doh
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 297
Oh, I believe, CJ. I just didn't realize the squirrel had other houses on his route.
If there's anything I dreaded more than checking my outgoing email and call lists, it was the reality check when I came down to the kitchen to remember (or, often, find out) what inventive cooking I had done when trying to sober up. My idea of sobering up food usually involved eggs (because lutein helps your liver break down alcohol) and obscene amounts of cheese. . . but sometimes it got more inventive. And, very very rarely, the damn drunk squirrel left broken glass. A minor miracle that I never woke up with mystery cuts or onion bits in my hair.
MTN: so glad you made it through and, better than just making it through, had a great time connecting and being out without a drink! That takes some steely strength of resolve!
If there's anything I dreaded more than checking my outgoing email and call lists, it was the reality check when I came down to the kitchen to remember (or, often, find out) what inventive cooking I had done when trying to sober up. My idea of sobering up food usually involved eggs (because lutein helps your liver break down alcohol) and obscene amounts of cheese. . . but sometimes it got more inventive. And, very very rarely, the damn drunk squirrel left broken glass. A minor miracle that I never woke up with mystery cuts or onion bits in my hair.
MTN: so glad you made it through and, better than just making it through, had a great time connecting and being out without a drink! That takes some steely strength of resolve!
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