One Year & Under Club Part 16
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,092
Hey guys.
Had (another) relapse.
Feel like Sh**. Not physically so much as I'm back on day 2 now, but mentally and emotionally. I'm just so tired of fighting this, and I'm so depressed that I drank again. It was for the most ridiculous reason--peer pressure. Because I thought I had to, and if I didn't people would think I was not part of the group. Pathetic, right?
So I ended up drinking for 3 days in a row. I work in an industry where its accepted to drink a lot and these events have been the times I've gotten tripped up. I'm going to have to figure out what to do about this going forward, I know, but my main prpbem now is how depressed I feel about my life--I can't beat this alcohol thing, I can't get to any of my goals and part of me just wants to give in. My mom died last year and she was my last relative, except for some distant relatives. I know I sound pathetic, but I'm so down about myself I really don't know what to do.
Till this latest relapse I was doing so well, now I'm doing exactly the opposite.
This sucks.
Had (another) relapse.
Feel like Sh**. Not physically so much as I'm back on day 2 now, but mentally and emotionally. I'm just so tired of fighting this, and I'm so depressed that I drank again. It was for the most ridiculous reason--peer pressure. Because I thought I had to, and if I didn't people would think I was not part of the group. Pathetic, right?
So I ended up drinking for 3 days in a row. I work in an industry where its accepted to drink a lot and these events have been the times I've gotten tripped up. I'm going to have to figure out what to do about this going forward, I know, but my main prpbem now is how depressed I feel about my life--I can't beat this alcohol thing, I can't get to any of my goals and part of me just wants to give in. My mom died last year and she was my last relative, except for some distant relatives. I know I sound pathetic, but I'm so down about myself I really don't know what to do.
Till this latest relapse I was doing so well, now I'm doing exactly the opposite.
This sucks.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
wha?
SR is about people who are struggling.
I think you need to post more here, not less
You seemed to do better when you posted here everyday?
As for Plan B - recovery groups, counselling, inpatient outpatient rehab, some other route....take your pick...now's the time to step up, not give up Sam
D
SR is about people who are struggling.
I think you need to post more here, not less
You seemed to do better when you posted here everyday?
As for Plan B - recovery groups, counselling, inpatient outpatient rehab, some other route....take your pick...now's the time to step up, not give up Sam
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Coastal Massachusetts
Posts: 1,637
Day 75, and my AV is quieter today. I had a good day hanging with my daughter, and going to watch a movie tonight with my wife. I want to drink, but know I can't. This isn't easy, but being sober beats the alternative.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,092
Thanks Dee.
I took your comment the wrong way, my apologizes.
Yeah, I suppose I need to come up with something new in order to beat this I just don't know what is the answer. I've tried counseling--it didn't really do anything for this, people just tell me I'm not that bad.
I suppose I could try AA, I'm just so not a group person, and I swear the stigma around here is incrediable. Such a double standard--it's okay to drink, just never admit you have a problem, even if you drink in vast quantities.
Well, for now, I'll go back to posting on here regularly. I also started using another online resource as well.
I took your comment the wrong way, my apologizes.
Yeah, I suppose I need to come up with something new in order to beat this I just don't know what is the answer. I've tried counseling--it didn't really do anything for this, people just tell me I'm not that bad.
I suppose I could try AA, I'm just so not a group person, and I swear the stigma around here is incrediable. Such a double standard--it's okay to drink, just never admit you have a problem, even if you drink in vast quantities.
Well, for now, I'll go back to posting on here regularly. I also started using another online resource as well.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Another sober night coming to an end. So grateful to be sober and happy I ended that relapse fast!
Enjoyed some amazing sushi!
image-2337153971.jpg
Enjoyed some amazing sushi!
image-2337153971.jpg
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Dudley,Uk
Posts: 1,704
Welcome back sam, please don't stop posting here,posting here keeps me on the straight and narrow,like Dee says you just gotta work out a plan b...
WWG your doing great man...75 day's is wicked...Of course it's hard,everything that's worth fighting for is hard,keep it up man....
Boozefree that sushi looks fantastic,I could sure eat some of that for my breakfast right now...
Well it's day 185 for me and I'm so so tired man...Did a 14 hour shift yesterday then when I finished I went home for a bath and then I had to go and be doorman at a nightclub in town....Booze was flowing,there was only 2 of us doormen and it had to happen didn't it....5 men decided they could take us on....Punches were thrown,my buddy got caught with a jab,I was throwing punches left right and centre and then the police came and moved them on once we had done all the hard work lol....
I finished at the club about 3am then drove straight to my usual job and slept for 2 hours in the players changing room....So as you can imagine I am exhausted already and I still have 8 hours to go....
I hope everyone is well and I'll check back later....Take care....Steve...
WWG your doing great man...75 day's is wicked...Of course it's hard,everything that's worth fighting for is hard,keep it up man....
Boozefree that sushi looks fantastic,I could sure eat some of that for my breakfast right now...
Well it's day 185 for me and I'm so so tired man...Did a 14 hour shift yesterday then when I finished I went home for a bath and then I had to go and be doorman at a nightclub in town....Booze was flowing,there was only 2 of us doormen and it had to happen didn't it....5 men decided they could take us on....Punches were thrown,my buddy got caught with a jab,I was throwing punches left right and centre and then the police came and moved them on once we had done all the hard work lol....
I finished at the club about 3am then drove straight to my usual job and slept for 2 hours in the players changing room....So as you can imagine I am exhausted already and I still have 8 hours to go....
I hope everyone is well and I'll check back later....Take care....Steve...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,092
Thanks everyone for the welcome back, onto a much more positive day 3 for me.
BoozeFree--that sushi looks amazing! I think I may have get some today :-)
Stevie--holy mother of god! I'm glad you're ok but that's crazy stuff-both the fight and the long hours. I hope you get some sleep after you're done today.
WWG-good for you for not drinking, and glad your AV is quieter. It only tells lies, you know?
BoozeFree--that sushi looks amazing! I think I may have get some today :-)
Stevie--holy mother of god! I'm glad you're ok but that's crazy stuff-both the fight and the long hours. I hope you get some sleep after you're done today.
WWG-good for you for not drinking, and glad your AV is quieter. It only tells lies, you know?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
Happy Sunday Undies! ... having a busy musical weekend with a concert to review last night and one just to go to and enjoy today... that is rare! Day 64 for me. Feeling upbeat for a change.
Sam.. welcome back, I do not think we have met. I know what you mean about the stigma when you tell folks you are not drinking... some look like you just said you have the plague.
Sam.. welcome back, I do not think we have met. I know what you mean about the stigma when you tell folks you are not drinking... some look like you just said you have the plague.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Coastal Massachusetts
Posts: 1,637
You are doing great Steve. I am amazed at how hard you work, you should be proud of yourself. Day 76, and we are off to the beach soon. I love living in a small ocean town. Have a Blessed day Undies.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Southern Arizona
Posts: 275
Hi all! Hope everyone is well.
Sam, good to see you here. I know it's not for everyone but I had to have a "screw you" attitude with those who treated me weird for claiming to be an alcoholic. I'm still pretty young and most of the people I hung out with had problems too. I got a MILLION "What?! you aren't an alcoholic"s. But the only one who can judge is YOU. I know the group thing is hard, but personally, I wouldn't have gotten this far without the groups. If you aren't into AA you might research some other groups. I go to AA and SOS (a secular sober meeting) and they are both great in different ways. Just do a ton of research. Look for coping techniques. Things to tell people that are prying to get them off your back. Or solid statements that deter people from pressuring you to drink. I like to carry a non-alcoholic drink, and when someone asks if I want an alcoholic one, I hold up my current drink and say, "I'm good." Works well. Stick with this site too. We're all here for you. 
Sam, good to see you here. I know it's not for everyone but I had to have a "screw you" attitude with those who treated me weird for claiming to be an alcoholic. I'm still pretty young and most of the people I hung out with had problems too. I got a MILLION "What?! you aren't an alcoholic"s. But the only one who can judge is YOU. I know the group thing is hard, but personally, I wouldn't have gotten this far without the groups. If you aren't into AA you might research some other groups. I go to AA and SOS (a secular sober meeting) and they are both great in different ways. Just do a ton of research. Look for coping techniques. Things to tell people that are prying to get them off your back. Or solid statements that deter people from pressuring you to drink. I like to carry a non-alcoholic drink, and when someone asks if I want an alcoholic one, I hold up my current drink and say, "I'm good.
" Works well. Stick with this site too. We're all here for you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Southern Arizona
Posts: 275
Steve, You are one tough guy! Not only that fight (which I hope you're okay from) but also the long work hours. If I have less than 9 hours of sleep I feel AWFUL! I don't know why I need so much. I guess that's average. But if I do 6 or 7, my whole day feels off kilter.
I feel the pits today. I woke up all self-conscious and needy, and depression has sprung up.
I don't feel so well in the addiction department either. I'm doing okay with booze, but I've been over-eating and sweets eating like CRAZY! And I've been drinking too much caffeinated stuff. It's averaging 2 cups of coffee and 2 energy drinks daily. ...and then soda on top of that. Hmm... maybe that's why I feel awful... I've been trying to ween off then I get a headache and my attention span drops off, back to the vending machine I go. The sweets too. It really feels the same way as when I crave alcohol. Like I see a cookie, "no... you just had two... AND you're full... you don't need one... Don't. No. ...no one's looking... *snag* *check around* *snarf* dammit" I need to work on some more coping techniques. ..I've also noticed that I'm still lying. About silly stuff. I spilled a smoothie on my car and tried to wipe it off. my boyfriend saw it and asked me what I did. I told him "I don't know what that is. I didn't see that before." and I was talking to someone else and sharing stories, and I said something like "oh yeah that's happened to me" and made up some story. I keep doing it with little things. And I caught myself hiding ice cream in the freezer and I bought Monster energy drinks and piled them behind foods my boyfriend doesn't like so he couldn't lecture me about eating bad things.
:horse It appears I just have an addictive mindset to everything.
It's quite irritating. Moderation has never been a friend of mine. Time to make new friends. GO AWAY AV!!! 
I feel the pits today. I woke up all self-conscious and needy, and depression has sprung up.
I don't feel so well in the addiction department either. I'm doing okay with booze, but I've been over-eating and sweets eating like CRAZY! And I've been drinking too much caffeinated stuff. It's averaging 2 cups of coffee and 2 energy drinks daily. ...and then soda on top of that. Hmm... maybe that's why I feel awful... I've been trying to ween off then I get a headache and my attention span drops off, back to the vending machine I go. The sweets too. It really feels the same way as when I crave alcohol. Like I see a cookie, "no... you just had two... AND you're full... you don't need one... Don't. No. ...no one's looking... *snag* *check around* *snarf* dammit" I need to work on some more coping techniques. ..I've also noticed that I'm still lying. About silly stuff. I spilled a smoothie on my car and tried to wipe it off. my boyfriend saw it and asked me what I did. I told him "I don't know what that is. I didn't see that before." and I was talking to someone else and sharing stories, and I said something like "oh yeah that's happened to me" and made up some story. I keep doing it with little things. And I caught myself hiding ice cream in the freezer and I bought Monster energy drinks and piled them behind foods my boyfriend doesn't like so he couldn't lecture me about eating bad things.
:horse It appears I just have an addictive mindset to everything.
It's quite irritating. Moderation has never been a friend of mine. Time to make new friends. GO AWAY AV!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Melivingsober- hope you get out of your funk soon! We've all had days like that I'm sure, well at least I have
Steve sounds like an insane work schedule! I don't think I would be able to last! Especially not on 2hrs of sleep.
Worked today then went to look at a house my aunt is interested on making an offer on and now super tired and must get some sleep since I have work and school tomorrow!
Steve sounds like an insane work schedule! I don't think I would be able to last! Especially not on 2hrs of sleep.
Worked today then went to look at a house my aunt is interested on making an offer on and now super tired and must get some sleep since I have work and school tomorrow!
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