Moms and Mums Club 2013 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
Hi to all! Finishing up a good day today. I had committed to sober plans earlier in the week that included the kids. We had a great time! I was glad that I had planned ahead because I had a couple of plans go south earlier in the day – would have had huge cravings.
After reading all the posts it seems to me that us moms have a unique situation. Advice to people when they quit drinking is to change their routine, perhaps make new friends, find opportunities to volunteer etc… - all great ideas.
However, as moms we don’t really have the luxury of changing a lot of stuff in our lives. Our routine stays the same, the children and frustrations are still there, the house, dishes and laundry are still there, it is hard to change our circle of friends because they often revolve around our children’s lives.
So I thought back to what I did when I quit drinking for 6 months. In addition to participating here at SR (vital, of course) – I found things that I really wanted to do in my life. I set some goals for myself and the family. For example, we had dinner on the table as many nights as possible – sometimes it was only grilled cheese and frozen veggies – sometimes it was fried chicken and other picnic food. The important thing was that I started setting goals.
I also reconnected with hobbies that I liked to do earlier in my life. I found new patterns to knit and crochet – it is hard to do crafts like that while drunk! Once I had things I really wanted to do it was much easier not to drink – I spent more time planning what I was going to do at night and what movie I was going to watch.
I tried to remember that as Mom, I set the tone for the entire house. Whatever mood I was in affected everyone! I say this not to put pressure on us but to remind us that we are important to our families and they truly need us!! We’re right were God wants us to be right now! Every little thing we do for our families is really like a prayer offered up to God.
So anyway…… I went through my brain (a crazy place most of the time) and lots of notes I’ve made over the last few years and came up with a bunch of ideas for the kids and us. I’ve been jotting them down all day and thought I would share. I’m going to break them up into a couple of posts.
Hope they are helpful! Some of the ideas I’ve done and lots I haven’t – now I’m super-excited to make this summer fun and create some great memories for the entire family.
After reading all the posts it seems to me that us moms have a unique situation. Advice to people when they quit drinking is to change their routine, perhaps make new friends, find opportunities to volunteer etc… - all great ideas.
However, as moms we don’t really have the luxury of changing a lot of stuff in our lives. Our routine stays the same, the children and frustrations are still there, the house, dishes and laundry are still there, it is hard to change our circle of friends because they often revolve around our children’s lives.
So I thought back to what I did when I quit drinking for 6 months. In addition to participating here at SR (vital, of course) – I found things that I really wanted to do in my life. I set some goals for myself and the family. For example, we had dinner on the table as many nights as possible – sometimes it was only grilled cheese and frozen veggies – sometimes it was fried chicken and other picnic food. The important thing was that I started setting goals.
I also reconnected with hobbies that I liked to do earlier in my life. I found new patterns to knit and crochet – it is hard to do crafts like that while drunk! Once I had things I really wanted to do it was much easier not to drink – I spent more time planning what I was going to do at night and what movie I was going to watch.
I tried to remember that as Mom, I set the tone for the entire house. Whatever mood I was in affected everyone! I say this not to put pressure on us but to remind us that we are important to our families and they truly need us!! We’re right were God wants us to be right now! Every little thing we do for our families is really like a prayer offered up to God.
So anyway…… I went through my brain (a crazy place most of the time) and lots of notes I’ve made over the last few years and came up with a bunch of ideas for the kids and us. I’ve been jotting them down all day and thought I would share. I’m going to break them up into a couple of posts.
Hope they are helpful! Some of the ideas I’ve done and lots I haven’t – now I’m super-excited to make this summer fun and create some great memories for the entire family.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
The following list could be used in a couple of different ways...
1. just pick one idea and do it whenever
2. put them on slips of paper in a 'fun box' and pull out x number each day
3. Make a few boxes (could use shoe boxes, plastic containers or drawers, cereal boxes whatever). Number them from 1 to ??. Each evening put something in each box (a fun idea from the list below, coloring books and crayons, small puzzle to do, a math puzzle book, card game, game book - whatever could be a fun thing to do). Then each day you and your kids work through the boxes. It is really fun if the kids can't tell what is in the boxes until they are opened.
Here is a list of ideas - many are obvious but some I'd have never thought of. There are also ideas for volunteering that you can do with your kids included. Doing things for other people really helps to take the focus off ourselves. I would much rather spend my time thinking of doing things for others rather than debating my AV. Much more rewarding!!!!
I think it would be really cool to get a notebook or scrapbook to chronicle your fun summer. Have a page for each day – write down what you do – even if you have a “FREE FUN DAY”. You could add a picture or two and even have your kids write a note if they’re old enough. What a keepsake that would be!!
1. just pick one idea and do it whenever
2. put them on slips of paper in a 'fun box' and pull out x number each day
3. Make a few boxes (could use shoe boxes, plastic containers or drawers, cereal boxes whatever). Number them from 1 to ??. Each evening put something in each box (a fun idea from the list below, coloring books and crayons, small puzzle to do, a math puzzle book, card game, game book - whatever could be a fun thing to do). Then each day you and your kids work through the boxes. It is really fun if the kids can't tell what is in the boxes until they are opened.
Here is a list of ideas - many are obvious but some I'd have never thought of. There are also ideas for volunteering that you can do with your kids included. Doing things for other people really helps to take the focus off ourselves. I would much rather spend my time thinking of doing things for others rather than debating my AV. Much more rewarding!!!!
- swimming
- library (join the summer reading program) – you can too
- visit free sites in your town (zoo, museums etc...)
- setup a puzzle up on the dining room table - something that will challenge without frustrating; make it one the entire family would like to work on. Make it one that takes a few days (or weeks)
- give each child a couple of dollars and go shopping at the Dollar Store
- get ice cream
- see who can set up the longest domino 'train' to knock down - take pictures!
- have a contest to build legos - give a small prize to each child (an award for using the most legos, tallest creation, most creative) - great way to 'earn' the dollars for the Dollar Store
- have child dress their Barbies for a fashion show - film it and put it on the computer to watch
- film the kids and put it on the computer
- pull every different kind of block your kids have into the living room and make a huge building
- put a blanket over the table and the kids can spend the day in their tent
- have video game tournaments
- get your kids to make up their own recipe/creation and then write it on a card to save.
- pull out the pictures/albums and look through them – kids love to hear family stories
- see if there are free/low-cost children movies in your town
- buy cheap dishes at the store and set them out to make mudpies
- grow something - even it is a bean plant, herbs or flowers; lettuce is also good.
- go for a 'nature' walk and collect leaves etc. or find things that begin with a letter your child(ren) picks out
- go to the craft store and get a few dollar crafts to do
- get a big roll of brown paper at the craft store - tape a huge piece on the floor and spread the crayons around (or if you're really daring - finger paint)
- cook with your child - internet is full of recipes
- play pet store or vet with your child's stuffed animals
- pick out a book harder than what your child could read and read it aloud to them - I have tons of ideas if anyone is interested
- make a homemade dry-erase board - there are directions on the web to make very inexpensive huge ones (out of laminate?? I think - I could search for the directions if anyone needs them). Kids love these!
- take cars out of the garage if you have room and let kids roller skate or ride their scooters where it is cooler
- make handmade Christmas gifts this summer - so many ideas on the web - imagine having them all done so far ahead
- find a farmer's market to visit – each week try a new fruit or veggie
- have game day when it rains and eat lunch on a blanket in the living room
- go to garage sales (give the kids a couple of bucks or have a few things you are looking for) - flea markets/antique stores are also fun for that - kids can collect inexpensive things: keys, thimbles, neat glasses, hat pins - all kinds of things
- visit with elderly/shut-in neighbors
- volunteer at an assisted living center - they love to have kids read to the residents or a play a game.
- set up several blankets in a shady spot in the yard - bring out comfy pillows, blankets, books, animals, snacks etc. Really relax and enjoy the nice weather - it is cool to lay outside and watch the trees, birds, clouds
- go out at night and look at the stars - there are free apps for the smart phones that show the night sky - googlesky I think....
- play jacks, hopscotch, marbles, chinese checkers, jump rope, hula hoop…
- cover the driveway with a mural out of sidewalk chalk
- get sparklers (if you live where you can) and do them one night just for fun.
- roast marshmallow and make smores
- blow bubbles
- set up a slip'n'slide in the yard
- listen to music and dance - play them music that you like, too! You only have a few years to ‘indoctrinate’ them to what you like LOL
- find shapes in the clouds
- teach the kids how to use hand tools – buy wood and nails and screws and let them experiment – make something if you know how
- make cards for elderly neighbors, relatives, military - call Meals on Wheels and see if they would like some to hand out with meals
- deliver Meals on Wheels – children are usually welcomed
- play bingo with money/change for prizes
- find a big, quiet parking lot for the kids to ride their bikes – set them loose and/or set up races etc… riding scooters and skateboards can also be really fun in the open area
- make blankets for Project Linus etc.. – tie blankets are inexpensive and very much needed. Using coupons from the paper (JoAnns if you have one) you could get enough fleece in a couple of weeks to make several blankets. Kids love to tie them.
- make tie blankets for gifts
- let the kids plan lunch and even prepare to surprise you if old enough
- wash the car and let the kids control the hose
- on a rainy day - watch movies in your pjs all day
- make jello desserts with cool whip or cut out shapes
- put together a time capsule to be opened at a later date
- start a bug or rock collection for each child (nothing alive LOL)
- eat dessert for breakfast – favorite at our house
- make your own ice cream or frozen pops
I think it would be really cool to get a notebook or scrapbook to chronicle your fun summer. Have a page for each day – write down what you do – even if you have a “FREE FUN DAY”. You could add a picture or two and even have your kids write a note if they’re old enough. What a keepsake that would be!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
We also need to spend time on ourselves. Use the summer to cultivate a hobby that you might be interested in that you could share (if you want LOL) with your children:
Any other ideas????
- Sewing - spend time at night, etc. learning the basics and then sew doll clothes with your children. There are lots of directions on the internet and you can use remnants. Save your children's clothing that you can't donate (stains etc.) and use what is left for doll clothes. You can also make floor pillows. Make surprise tie blankets for your kids for Christmas – great to have something you make to surprise them because you must work on them at night when you would be drinking.
- Knit/Crochet - local yarn shops often have classes (some free) where you can learn the basics. Check books out of the library to fine tune. There are books for young kids to make headbands, simple purses etc.. You could start working on a simple afghan to have for the entire family to use this fall and winter. Imagine snuggling under your homemade blanket while watching Christmas movies. Don't be intimidated by it - you can make really pretty patterns if you only know a couple of stitches.
- Cooking - pick a new type of cooking to learn. Get recipes from the internet or the library. Check out Asian markets - cool stuff and great prices. Let the kids help when they can. Make an effort to have a nice meal on the table when your husband walks in the door from work - set the table and everything. Start a recipe collection for your kids so that they will have all the family recipes when they go out on their own. As they get older make sure to teach them how to make them. They will treasure hand-written recipe cards!
- Baking - who doesn't like that! Make extra to send with your husband to work (his stock will go way up at work if he shows up regularly with brownies and cupcakes ) or take them to a neighbor.
- Reading - pick a time in history to learn about or read some books that will cover what your kids will be learning in school the next year (i.e., american literature, world history etc.) - your kids will think you're super smart next year. Or something you’ve always wanted to know more about.
- Photography - get books from the library and use your kids or nature as the subjects. Organize the photos you already have.
- Cake Decorating - once again books from the library or recipes off the internet. Kids love to help 'clean up' this one.
- Flylady - check out flylady.net on the internet and get your house together one tiny step at a time. She offers a complete system to get your house and personal life in order - doesn't have to cost anything. She is big on jumping in where you are and just doing baby steps to get going. By the end of the summer your house would be a well-oiled machine. She even has ideas to get your kids in on the action. Note on chores - you could make a small chore box of kid appropriate jobs and have them pull x number out each day to complete according to age
- Cross-Stitching/Needlework - fun, simple. Kits start very reasonably. Make great gifts or decorations. Once again, these craft type items are really good because you need to be sober to do them right!
- Jewelry Making
- Candle Making
- Soap Making
- Draw/Paint. Get books from the library and work through them - then teach some of what you learn to the kids.
Any other ideas????
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
Lastly (yes, I have gone on forever tonight……). It also helps to have something extra-special and yummy to drink when the cravings hit. For me, I used to drink because it made me feel that something was special – I wasn’t just sitting at home doing the mundane chores that are life. I felt sophisticated - not a tired, stain-covered wife and mother.
So I’ve tried to find sober options that seem extra special. La Croix and sparkling water are always a good standby but sometimes I need something more.
One thing I like to do is make tea the real way. Boiled water in a teapot. Using a cup and saucer. Kids love tea parties. I feel like a proper lady!
I also stumbled upon some Mexican recipes for fruit aquas. My favorite so far is:
Raspberry Agua Fresca
From ‘Tacos, Tortas, and Tamales’ by Roberto Santibanez
1 generous cup fresh or frozen raspberries (6 ounces)
¼ C sugar
3 tablespoons freshly squeezed lime juice
Ice cubes
Blend the raspberries, sugar, and lime juice with 3 cups of water until very smooth. Strain the mixture through a sieve and into a large pitcher.
Chill the pitcher in the fridge for at least an hour or up to 24, then stir thoroughly and pour the agua fresca into ice-filled glasses and serve immediately. You can add more water or sparkling water if it is too thick.
**If you google more agua recipes you’ll find that you can use a wide variety of fruits. Yummy!
There is something so amazing about making a decent dinner and having something like this to make along with it that even the kids can enjoy in fancy glasses. Makes you feel like a ‘super-Mom’. It would be fun to find neat, mis-matched glasses at flea markets that could become part of the routine. I try to play the tape forward on good evenings, too! It's addictive!
Sure hope I haven’t worn everyone out. But I have to admit that putting this all together has been most helpful for me, too.
I wish everyone a peaceful night sleep!
So I’ve tried to find sober options that seem extra special. La Croix and sparkling water are always a good standby but sometimes I need something more.
One thing I like to do is make tea the real way. Boiled water in a teapot. Using a cup and saucer. Kids love tea parties. I feel like a proper lady!
I also stumbled upon some Mexican recipes for fruit aquas. My favorite so far is:
Raspberry Agua Fresca
From ‘Tacos, Tortas, and Tamales’ by Roberto Santibanez
1 generous cup fresh or frozen raspberries (6 ounces)
¼ C sugar
3 tablespoons freshly squeezed lime juice
Ice cubes
Blend the raspberries, sugar, and lime juice with 3 cups of water until very smooth. Strain the mixture through a sieve and into a large pitcher.
Chill the pitcher in the fridge for at least an hour or up to 24, then stir thoroughly and pour the agua fresca into ice-filled glasses and serve immediately. You can add more water or sparkling water if it is too thick.
**If you google more agua recipes you’ll find that you can use a wide variety of fruits. Yummy!
There is something so amazing about making a decent dinner and having something like this to make along with it that even the kids can enjoy in fancy glasses. Makes you feel like a ‘super-Mom’. It would be fun to find neat, mis-matched glasses at flea markets that could become part of the routine. I try to play the tape forward on good evenings, too! It's addictive!
Sure hope I haven’t worn everyone out. But I have to admit that putting this all together has been most helpful for me, too.
I wish everyone a peaceful night sleep!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,479
Dolly I'm always terrified I drank myself into breast cancer. The slightest little twinge in a boob and I'm freaking out! I even had a mammogram 1 1/2 years ago.
Yay lucky me the only 2 things I seemed to have inherited from my grandmother is alcoholism and hypochondria! Oh man it just dawned on me I have her initials too......SOB! (no those aren't the initials).
SIGH I'm going to bed! Nighty night!
Yay lucky me the only 2 things I seemed to have inherited from my grandmother is alcoholism and hypochondria! Oh man it just dawned on me I have her initials too......SOB! (no those aren't the initials).
SIGH I'm going to bed! Nighty night!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
Sadsoul, thank you for that comprehensive list of ideas!It's been hard to make plans for the boys this summer as we're in the middle of a move. We're having work done on our new house and we don't have a move-in date yet. My older son is very sociable and loves camps, etc. but we're in limbo so waiting until I have a clearer idea on moving dates. Mostly, we spend time at the pool, either our own or with friends.
So that list surely will come in handy this summer. Thank you!
So that list surely will come in handy this summer. Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Good morning! Slept in today, 9am! Ugh, reminds me of my hungover days. Had been getting into the routine of waking up early (7ish) and loved it, but also was going to bed earlier. Finding I am sleeping like my daughter (10 hours) all of a sudden, instead of my usual 8-9. Hoping it is just a stage. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE sleep, but since getting sober I feel so lazy and groggy when I sleep in like this. Daughter is still sleeping and husband is already out running errands.
So glad I made it through last nights cravings. I read on here that with each craving we get through, without caving, the stronger we become? I have pretty much given in to past cravings so this time was different and I feel good. On to Day 29
Hope all of you have a wonderful Sunday!
So glad I made it through last nights cravings. I read on here that with each craving we get through, without caving, the stronger we become? I have pretty much given in to past cravings so this time was different and I feel good. On to Day 29
Hope all of you have a wonderful Sunday!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,479
It's been a good day so far. The kids have been playing in their room leaving me to just veg out (and pinterest) for a bit, much needed! I think they have been plotting to drive me insane lately and almost succeeded!
Last night hubs says "Uh look what I found" and my first thought is OH CRAAAAAP (occasionally even I still find old stashed bottles) thankfully it was one of the kids flash lights. WHEW that was a sigh of relief LOL
I think I'm gonna plan a picnic for us on hubby's one day off this week. Today is our Friday. Have a good Sunday everyone!
Last night hubs says "Uh look what I found" and my first thought is OH CRAAAAAP (occasionally even I still find old stashed bottles) thankfully it was one of the kids flash lights. WHEW that was a sigh of relief LOL
I think I'm gonna plan a picnic for us on hubby's one day off this week. Today is our Friday. Have a good Sunday everyone!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Yes, sadsoul, thank you for the flylady.com tip! I desperately need something like that. Been trying to get my house cleaned up and organized for awhile now. It doesn't help that my husband is a VERY messy person (and I do have a toddler).....Maybe I didn't notice it as much when I was drinking, but now that I am sober it really bothers me. Hoping that website can help me!
Having a good Sunday, so far. Hope you all are too
Having a good Sunday, so far. Hope you all are too
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
Damn I am irritable today! Not craving alcohol, but I feel I am snapping at everything! I don't have PMS, so not sure what my problem is, but poor hubby looks like a deer in the headlights when I enter enter the room!
U feel like I haven't had a break for myself all weekend...but nope, running around and cleaning up after him and my daughter...guess that's it.
U feel like I haven't had a break for myself all weekend...but nope, running around and cleaning up after him and my daughter...guess that's it.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
Morning all. 8.45am here in Australia. Hugs and prayers to all those who are struggling. Bit of a weird weekend but I'm still here and still clean. Yay.
Have a fair bit of housework to catch up on and of course the two youngest at home so hopefully that will keep me busy.
I feel a bit the same as you dolly. Bit irritable. Early recovery for me and some of the benzo withdrawals have come back plus I'm struggling with my ed. hope your day improves. X
Have a fair bit of housework to catch up on and of course the two youngest at home so hopefully that will keep me busy.
I feel a bit the same as you dolly. Bit irritable. Early recovery for me and some of the benzo withdrawals have come back plus I'm struggling with my ed. hope your day improves. X
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 94
hi all.
i wanted to pop in and say hello. i'm 32 and mom to three great kids ages 7, 4, and 20 months. i've known for years that i have a problem with alcohol but am at a point in my life where i want to and really need to make a change. i appreciate any kind of support, comment, insight, inspiration, etc.
i wanted to pop in and say hello. i'm 32 and mom to three great kids ages 7, 4, and 20 months. i've known for years that i have a problem with alcohol but am at a point in my life where i want to and really need to make a change. i appreciate any kind of support, comment, insight, inspiration, etc.
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