Dorris

MLC I'm glad to see you have woken more positive, keep that train of thought and today should just work out just fine Any wobblers log on here for a quick rant.

It's the end of my first Friday sober in a long time and I'm looking forward to my bed, weather forecast is sunny all weekend so I hope it's a good one with my special little family.

Take care all xx

Ladybug2

Hi everyone,

Friday night here on Day 26. In-laws came over today to watch my daughter so I could go get some things done. In the past, I would "pretend" to be running errands while treating myself to lunch and some glasses of wine. Today the thought crossed my mind, but I managed to kick it away. Instead I went to the gym for an hour and then went to print our pictures from vacation. Felt good to come home sober, but now I am VERY cranky. In-laws are still here and I feel rude being on my computer, but I guess I need to be selfish right now. It's only 6:30pm so I am right in the middle of my most "tempting"time of the day. Hoping and praying I can make it - too close to 30 days now.

Hope everyone is having a nice Friday

Dollyangel17

Ladybug....I too was fond of the "errand decoy". I sometimes bought the things I needed on my lunch hour, then told hubby I had to stop on my way home from work to pick such and such up. Yah right, only place I was stopping was the bar and the only thing I was picking up was a glass if wine.

That poor guy...I don't know how he kept quiet for so long....pretty sure he knew some if the time I was lying.

Hang tight ladybug, inlaws won't be there forever:-)

Ladybug2

Thanks, Dolly. I love how you put it "errand decoy" haha. I used to do the same thing on my way home from work, too. Pretty sure my husband started wondering why I was always coming home empty handed?

So I just tried explaining to my husband how I am feeling. He asked me what was wrong after one of my cranky moments of stomping around, etc. I told him how frustrated I am over the fact that I am an alcoholic. I miss our weekends nights (especially in the summers) of sitting on our patio having a few drinks together (well it used to be a few when we met). I am both p'd off and sad that we can't do this anymore. He said it doesn't bother him and that shouldn't be what defines us. He is right, but I guess I am still grieving that old lifestyle. He just doesn't get how hard this is for me and I feel bad for him. He tries to listen and help, but I can tell he just doesn't know what to say I need to be more patient and give it some time. I just hate nights like tonight. Hate feeling sorry for myself, which is exactly what I am doing. So, no more. Tonight I will happy that I am sober and have my husband and precious daughter by my side

Thanks for listening, ladies. Hugs to you all

PeacefulRain

Lady bug you're lucky to have that. I don't dare bring it up, all my husband knows how to do is shame me over it. It feels like I was a daughter who got pregnant as a teen, was sent away to have the baby then brought back home only to never speak of it again.

My husband better never fall of that high horse of his, I imagine it would be much like falling from an airplane!

Amy2011

I asked my husband yesterday if he missed our old party life. By party life, I mean me drinking too much and embarrassing myself in front of our family and friends. He said the only thing he misses is not being so busy. Now that I am sober our life is so much busier because I am not planning my days around the next drink.

On another note, I bought beer today for a party we are having tomorrow. It was weird because I had no idea how much to buy. I didn't want to buy to much and have leftovers. Not because I am worried about drinking them, but because last time I bought beer for company it went bad we had it in the fridge so long. Until I got sober I didn't realize beer went bad or open bottles of wine for that matter also can go bad. I never had alcohol around long enough to go bad. Looking forward to a fun, sober party tomorrow. Took me 2 years to get comfortable enough in my sobriety to throw a big party again with drinking.

Ladybug2

I feel like that at times, PeacefulRain. I say that only because my husband never brings it up or asks me how I am doing, etc. When I do try to talk to him he tries to be supportive, but mostly just gets quiet, and, like I said, doesn't seem to know what to say. I really can't tell if he is proud of me for seeking help or if he is disappointed I let it come to this. I know alcoholism is a disease that we can't control, but not sure if other non-alcoholics, including my husband and other family members, get that?! My brother once made a comment to me like "it just takes willpower and maybe it's your lifestyle? " (have been stay-at-home for 2+yrs). Little does he know that when I WAS working full time I had started drinking on my lunch hour ... Now I am ranting, but you ladies get my point Just wish others knew and understood more about what we are going through.

Midlifecrisis

The same thought has crossed my mind. Because I am gojng through a government organisation I worry that we are automatically on the radar. I can't let it stop me though. I must get counselling. It's really the only thing I have.

Our kids aren't abused either and never have been. The counsellor knows I am clean and sober now. Even if we were to be under suspicion, they would take one look and talk to the school and see that all is good. I am sure you would be the same.

Midlifecrisis

Can I ask. Are most people on this thread aiming for total abstinence?

Amy2011

A sober life means no alcohol or drugs, so yes for me. This is a recovery website so everyone here should be seeking recovery. I am pretty sure that moderation is not usually supported at SR.

Midlifecrisis

Yes I agree. Was just putting it out there

Amy2011

Ladybug my husband was the same way in early recovery. Alcoholism is a family disease and he has been affected too. He is trying to figure out how to navigate your relationship now while dealing with his own feelings. He is probably unsure whether your sobriety will last. My husband said that in the beginning my sobriety was like a magic spell he didn't want to break. He was afraid talking about it would break the spell, plus he was still angry and resentful towards me for all the pain I caused our family.

Briar

Hi ladies, happy Friday! Just wanted to weigh in on a couple things as I catch up on this thread.

One is the mixing of the meds and alcohol. I tried that with Zoloft and turned into an angry, mean, extra crazy "I'm walking home 5 miles by myself at midnight in 4-inch heels and nobody better try to stop me!" kind of drunk. It was not cute. Do be careful.

The other is whether I am aiming for moderation or abstinence. I would love moderation. I have tried to achieve it countless times. I wish so very much that I could have one glass of wine tonight, just one, and not set off a horrendous chain of events. I also wish I were taller. Neither of those things are going to work out, so better to appreciate what I do have going for me.

Midlifecrisis

Same here. I have tried moderation lots, lol. It lasts approximately 5 seconds lol. I wasn't born with the M gene lol. Or the P one (patience.)

On mixing meds and alcohol. Yeah, not good. That was my caper when I was using. 100mg of Valium plus painkillers, plus anti depressants plus alot of alcohol. I'm lucky I didn't pass away jn my sleep. My poor husband having to constantly check and worry whether or not I was still alive

ImperfectlyMe

Good morning mommas another sober saturday! The weekend are still slightly hard but not like the beginning. But there's more idle time and no mommy breaks!

I have always kept my kids home with me all summer and tried to entertain play with them park beach swim bike. But the summer is also the time I would drink as freely as I wanted I didn't have to wait until 5 pm! In glad I have close to 2 months sobriety under my belt but worry about all the triggers!!

I'm thinking of getting the girls in a mini camp half days a few days a week just so I can be less burnt out and better prepared to handle wanting to drink!

What do you guys do with the kiddies all summer need some sober ideas. Use to be set the kids up sprinklers water balloons and veg out in the sun with my wine!

eshetz

I would love to join. Just recently relapsed after 6 years of sobriety.

ImperfectlyMe

Welcome eshetz! Glad you are joining! 6 years is a long time! Tell us about yourself

eshetz

I am 36 and have two boys. 2 1/2 and 11 months. I am a teacher. I got sober 6 years ago and went to AA for about a year. I stopped going and just stayed sober myself. It was something I was very proud of. For the past month I have been thinking about drinking ALOT and I finally gave in to temptation during one of my breaks at school First I just had a glass of wine and then it turned into vodka and oj. I finally told my husband last Thursday. I haven't drank since but I am REALLY struggling! I have a theripist apt today at 3:00 but that is after a bridal shower where all of my family will be drinking.

Thanks for letting me join. I look forward to getting to know all of you!

Dollyangel17

Good morning moms!

Up early with the Dolly, made her French toast for breakfast and myself an egg beater omelet with scallions and Laughing cow cheese (WW recipe). Her French toast smelled delicious, but my omelet was gag inducing!!!!! Ugh....brought me back to my dry heave mornings when I was drinking:-)

Oh well...think I will try the recipe with real eggs, think it might be good then:-)

For now....it's plan B...bowl of cereal:-)

Duffster

Welcome, Eshetz! I think you will find lots of support here. I have a 2 year old (almost 3) and a 4 year old, both boys. Stay strong at the shower! Do you think you'll give AA a try again?