1Dayatatyme

First of all, Well Done - Need my Savior! I was tired out just reading about all the events, and considering how meaningful and emotional and connecting with family and coordinating all the different meals and ceremonies... you are truly an amazing woman! You definitely deserve some down time and relaxation.

Secondly, regarding Dr. Weekes, I will have to read up on her and her theories, but regarding fight or flight response, Peter Levine has also written about it in terms of stored trauma, and talks about the need for physical release of the stress induced chemicals so that we can re-regulate our systems.

I wonder if that is why some people who exercise regularly appear to manage stress a bit better than those who don't?

I need to re-read his book as it was several years ago that I first picked it up.
I tend to find all the fight, flight, or freeze information very interesting, as the response is controlled by our primal brain, and yet we can draw on our pre-frontal cortex to mediate the response.

360shoes

I would need a month off after all that NMS! I'm introvert slash extrovert too. I can be very social but my batteries get recharged in my alone time. Great job managing everything you did! And what a lovely thing to remember it all and not run out of steam or have an awful hangover!

1Day...don't feel like the Lone Ranger on those kids with the senior discount thing. It's happened to me too. On the flip side I used to laugh when I would buy wine at this store where they card everyone. They would ask for my ID and I would just say...yes, my face and my a**. What more do you need?
Good for you on jumping on the lets get physical wagon! Any kind of moving is better than sitting on our butts drinking.

I love Arnold Palmers! However, I'm digging the iced coffee now too.

tootsl1

NMS

Your poster is now up on my wall of heroes! Seriously, to manage so much after only finding your sobriety a relatively short time ago, I am seriously in awe of you! It was a mega challenge for anyone, and the fact you were barely tempted is real proof of how far you have come. You have every right to be so, so proud of yourself. As for your sister, perhaps next time you get the opportunity, allow an opening for the 'talk' and let her take the less. If she feels she has a problem and wants help great, if she doesn't feel she has a problem a) she genuinely may not or b) no be ready to face. Either way, then there is nothing to do, but at least you are letting her know you are there. Personally, if a friend/ relative had offered sobriety, then given the chance gone on to drink that much, it would flag things with me ( it is exactly how I would have behaved!!) enjoy your down time and the photos, knowing there will be none of you looking the worse for wear!!
1day, I will have to look up Peter Levine, as that resonates with me.
I am fascinated by the human mind! I did a short course in criminal psychology and loved it ( of course those from the cafe will understand my fascination with serial killers!)
We too had a long weekend this side of the pond it is Mayday weekend, when all sorts of eccentric pagan rituals are re enacted!! Lol plus weather permitting BBQ s and gardening!

Northlander

Hi Marchers

Quick drive-by to check-in (doing well, busy holiday weekend, loved the new Star Trek movie) and wish all well (not caught up on reading posts, but hope all Marchers are healthy and happy).

Enormous Love to all!

NeedMySavior

Good morning! Well, it is 11, but just had my iced coffee (yum!) and caught up on posts! Yes, slept in again!

Thanks is for all your kind words everyone! I am really amazed at how far I've come in 95 days. Wow! I think going to rehab where I had to look at myself and deal with my issues was huge for me and my growth. It's weird, my sister and her husband......we talked a little and how they didn't think I was an alcoholic, but I got the impression to them alcoholic meant the stereotype.......homeless, in the gutter, drink all day etc. I tried to explain its not the label and I don't get hung up on "am I or not?" but that I know that once I start, I don't want to (can't) stop so I obviously have issues with drinking, so I needed to stop. I would share what I could, but not sure they wanted to really hear to understand, which in hindsight might be cuz of her own issues with it.

Sigh

So glad to wake up to a new season....summer is here. My husband and son worked in the yard all day yesterday and again today as hubby took the day off to finish it up. We have a ton of water in the yard, and thought it was a leak in the sprinkler system, but can't find it and decided it is just a bog.......so they are fixing it up. Whew! I just keep them supplied in iced tea.

Have a good day everyone!

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

joygirl

Hey everyone! I've been out for a couple of days and I'm back and catching up on posts. Haven't you all been such busy little Marchers! Lots of good stuff here, which I really enjoy reading as it helps, inspires, and humors me to no end. Sometimes I just need to read and think. Have a great day all!


I have a question to pose, on the cafe thread...

Marcher13

Good morning all. The sun's out, we're sober, what could be better? And that's from the future.

joygirl

Good Morning Marcher! Glad to hear from the future. What is for dinner in the future? because I haven't a clue what to make and my family is getting hungry! Hope your Wednesday is wonderful.

Saskia

You folks get my already addled brain totally confounded by all this talk of future and past, lol!

All's good in Sassy-land. Big trigger challenge coming up this next weekend so I will be strategizing about how to maintain my sobriety. I'm trying to plan ahead for a change instead of just falling into old habits. High school 50th reunion and I want to make it through 100% sober, preferably without white-knuckling it!

I'm not worried about during the reunion but rather afterwards when I am fairly certain I will feel flooded with old memories. Any and all suggestions most welcome!

Hugs,
Sass

joygirl

Good evening, Sassy! So, you have a class reunion coming up? 50 years you say? 1963 was supposedly a fun time... doing the mashed potato and the twist and what-not. I'll bet everyone got it all out of their systems by now. Probably some recovering as well. So, I would go ahead and name those emotional triggers and make a list of them! Then, work through the list making strategies of positive self-talk. Keep the list handy throughout the night. After the party, avoid after party drinking party, and go over the list again if needed, and log onto SR as soon as I got home. I've read of some people writing themselves a letter of the benefits of sobriety, the horrors and pains of drinking, and leaving it out to read when they are in a triggering situation.
Sign in here before the reunion and as soon as possible after, the same night if possible. There's some accountability.
You are a wonderful sober woman and friend!

tootsl1

Will you stop hogging all the sun in the future, by the time it comes into the past it has clouded over!
Sorry Sass! I love the mind boggling future/ past thing!
I envy you the school reunion, as a child I was moved around so much, I don't really have a home school. I have never been to a reunion. I did hear about one at my last school, after the event and felt sad that I never had the chance to go.
I guess whether you were happy or sad popular or bullied makes a difference to how one approaches a reunion. Some will have things to prove, others will have achieved big things, still others, school days were their peak! Perhaps thinking now of as many good and difficult school memories, bringing them into the light and looking at them may take power out. Also, surrounded by so many reminders of our past, we would tend to regress, so as Joygirl said, remember you are a 'wonderful, sober woman and friend' and remember you have nothing to prove to anyone, you have already proved to yourself that you are strong, loving and whole.

tootsl1

North love the drive by posting, hope you manage to stop longer next time!!
NMS, for soooo long I used my ex husband as my standard of drunk, as long as I didn't drink vodka neat at 8am, or sweat, shake and vomit when I stopped, I was clearly not an alky. One thing I learned here quite quickly was that labels are useless, what mattered was the question ' do I feel alcohol is a problem for me, and can I imagine life without it?' ok 2 questions, but it's hard to count when you're drunk! ) your sister will walk her own road, but perhaps the talk you had will repeat in her mind from time to time and allow her to consider her own drinking habits. It sure sounds like you are doing well there.
Marcher how are you? Other than tanned!!
Joygirl, great advice there, how are you getting on with the therapy?

Marcher13

Heya Toots my dear girl, I'm well and not particularly tanned although it was 23C today even if winter is around the corner.

Sassy you'll nail that reunion, drinking Coke or whatever like the girl in 1963.

Joy, dinner in the future is lamb chops (grilled/broiled) with steamed broccolini, baked kipfler potatoes and honey carrots.

360shoes

Good morning or night friends!

I haven't been up this early in 7 months. Meeting the trainer here in about an hour. I'm going to see if I can get some endorphins going and keep them going throughout the day. It's true. I hit the 20 minute mark on the treadmill and I literally felt them kick in. I had the blues yesterday but that really helped. Of course, I didn't go till 5:00pm so I didn't reap the benefits as early as I should have. So today it's a scientific test to see if it helps for the whole day! Trainer is very nice and not killing me right off the bat. I told him I'm old and haven't been so good to myself in years so let's build up to this. I still hurt though. Hurts to even sit on a toilet!

Sassy! How fun to have that reunion! I never stayed close with any of my high school friends so I only went to the 5 year one. Got stinking drunk at it. Ugh. If they ever had another, I would go now. Make a list of all the people you remember something nice about and what they did and use the night to tell everyone you run in to on your list the nice thing. Like I remember this really sweet guy in a math class I sat by but didn't really get to know. I remember him helping me a lot. I would find him and tell him how nice that was.
It would be fun to see old friends but maybe you can make new ones? Did you go to a big school? I did so I didn't know everybody. It always helps me to think of others when I'm having a hard time. I'll bet someone there could use a good friend like you!

Hi Marcher and Toots and Joy!! Nice to hear from you North! How is everyone else doing??
You awake Mick?? 1Day, SoberJane, June, Must <3Coffee?? Anybody?? I'm up way to early!

360shoes

MeSo!! I could never forget you!! Me remember you long time!!!

MustLoveCoffee

NMS - Wow, that's awesome about the BBQ. Don't worry about whether they think you're an alcoholic or not. I know they didn't want to listen to hear, but I'm sure you've planted the seed of doubt in her brain. Once you start questioning your drinking, it becomes a lot less fun pretty fast. Doesn't mean you stop right away (I realized in 2009 my drinking wasn't fun anymore, but just really quit in March), but it's hopefully the beginning of the end. If not, you can't do anything about it anyway, and YOU are doing awesome!

Sassy - Can you make a list of everyone that you remember from high school? Then happy or sad, mad or glad, write a little bit about each over the course of the week. Maybe 30 minutes a day or something, so it's not too overwhelming? Then you can work through all those emotions slowly in a controlled space so you're not overwhelmed by the deluge of them? Sure, you'll have forgotten about so and so that did such and such so it may not work entirely, but at least the bandaid will already be dangling by time you get there so it doesn't get ripped off all at once this weekend? And someone said this at a meeting yesterday about parties and I loved it. "You can leave and come back. My sponsor told me this once, and I had to try it out. So I went to a party, left for a while, and I came back. Nobody even noticed I was gone, and everyone was just as I had left them." I thought this was such great advice! I wouldn't have considered it, but it's so true. People pop in and all the time! So if you're starting to feel overwhelmed, leave! Go back in half an hour if you feel like it.

Shoes - I'm awake. Barely. This squirrel is trying to caffeine up. First cup of coffee almost down.

chuff1

Afternoon everyone

Yes shoes I am awake, but not feeling that good, ache and feel insanely tired, got some sort of virus on me I think
Take care everyone

Mick x

MeSoSober

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Shoes, me love you long time (but not in that way
:-) )!

tootsl1

I hope you are not angling for any sympathy, you germ ridden malingerer!
Lol, take care sweetie, feel better soon

Duffster

Guys, I'm really struggling here. I feel like after my "slip" in April I came back stronger than ever and was really in a great place with my sobriety - that is until the incident with my brother and the slip with the xanax. I feel like I'm still drinking, which I'm not - but I'm tired, not thinking clearly, in a constant state of anxiety. And now I have pills on my mind. It would be so easy to get a prescription and clearly I can get pills from a number of people. I'm seriously glad I flushed them or I know I would have taken more. It just seems like such a quick way to stop the anxiety. So I guess therein lies the addiction: a quick way to alter those feelings.

It seems like all of my energy is going into getting through the day again. Struggling with my AV. I do have an appointment with a Dr. but it's not until July. He's my bf's brother-in-law and I'm thinking of asking her to see if she can get me in earlier -- I need to get a handle on this. I just want to rewind and be back to where I was 2 weeks ago - so solid in my sobriety.

Has anyone gone through anything like this?