munchkin05

Hello world!
Good news, sort of.
Got all the appts figured out. Got time off approved.
Got all of it squared away. Got home last night and collapsed.
Especially after going outside and yet another tomato was pulled off the plant and eaten.
This morning the squirrels got another one.
Squirrels: 6 tomatoes. Us: 2

I'm going to shoot me a squirrel. Well no, not yet. First I'm going to try getting some carnivore urine. Hopefully it helps in deterring them.
Otherwise we will have gotten probably a total of 2 tomatoes from our garden all season.
Sigh.
Makes me pretty upset.
I've even tried hot pepper spray to no avail. The squirrels just wait till it rains and then they attack.

Today that is my mission. Getting the carnivore urine. Oh and trying to figure out how to program my Jeeps clock. Its off by about 5 mins and its messing me up.

Had a nice surprise this morning though.
Got on the scale and now I'm down to 155.5
Nice!

Here is my wish. I wish I could be down to 154 by my birthday.
My goal still remains to be at least 145 by my sons birthday in November.

Well gotta run. Still here, still sober.

munchkin05

tough night here. DH & I had a pretty big fight, I actually swore at him which I rarely do when in hearing of our DS.
DH's work texted him at 615p and told him to come in. I told him that unless there is good reason he needs to keep in mind he is retiring. In less than 4 months.
They barely have let him off to take care of his own matters, and he plays into it willingly. Case in point, TDY at the beginning of August. He told me a while ago that late June was his last TDY.
So, DH work finally called, explained that they need paperwork from him, birth certificates and what not or an inspection.
They need this paperwork tonight. Told him, to just finally go...this after the big argument. DH actually told me tonight "I don't understand how it is in the military" He has told coworkers this.
This angers me so much. I don't understand? I've been a military wife now for almost 20 years and I don't understand the military? I don't understand the military way of life when I've done so many deployments by myself, I have moved us time and again, myself. I never ran home to Mommy & Daddy. I raised a newborn, myself. I don't know how military life is, obviously.
Okay, whatever. I got so angry I threw a piece of plastic cheese (aka American cheese) into the george foreman grill. Spilling grease on the counter, the floor.

I'm so tired now. I was cleaning up the kitchen when it came to me that this place, this is where I should come when I'm feeling like I am right now. Because honestly, tonight that bottle of vodka looked very good. At one point I said once again, thats silly but what scared me even more was the thought "I DON'T F*#KING CARE!"

Like a woman drowning, reaching for something to save herself, I thought "have a cup of espresso munch, have a peppermint pattie."
Decided I can't, if I have an espresso I'll never get to sleep tonight.
No instead, I'll come here. Like I used to. In the first month or two.
I'll stay here until the urge has passed, the anger has passed. And the hurt has passed.


I'm so glad I came here. DH is still at work, DS sits near me, playing Plants vs Zombies on his netbook.
We're watching Harry Potter & the Deathly Hollows #2. Its about time for DS to go to bed.
Soon, we will. But I will go to bed sober. I will not drink over something so stupid as hubbys work.
I will not drink over something as stupid as DH telling me that "I do not know what being military is like"
I will not lose myself back in a bottle where I will not get anything back other than temporary respite. A way to temporarily forget. I won't because later it will be back, along with the hangover.
I will be the mother that my son deserves, I will be the wife (that right now I'm not so certain) my husband deserves.
I AM Still here & I WILL REMAIN SOBER

Tiredofdrugs

Munchkin: The first thing I want to point out to you is: Do you know what US ARMY stands for? UNCLE SAM AIN'T RELEASED ME YET!!!!!!! When your signature is on the dotted line for being Active in the uniform? It's a 24/7 JOB!

You've been dealing with your husband being in the Army for 20 years now. What's four more months? Just go with the flow and it will pass quickly. Be glad he's still home with you and NOT overseas. Don't know about being state side, but if he were overseas? His retirement orders could get put on hold for a long time.

My first husband was ARNG and then AD AF. My second husband was ARNG. So I've had two out of four husbands that were in the military and as for myself putting 22 years in the ARNG (Full time and part time), I know all too well what the military life is like. I also have a daughter that was AD AF for 13 years and her husband is still AD AF! It's not an easy job having so many ppl to answer too either. But your husband chose this life and you went along for the ride. You are almost to the end of it. So try and relax for now.

TOD

munchkin05

Yeah I know. Actually in the past, especially during the Iraq bit and Afghanistan I would've expected this type of behaviour from a military unit.
It is/was common to do this to a soldier as he is retiring from the military.
Now however, here's the kicker. They've got 3 other soldiers retiring. One is another E6, the other a lower enlisted. Those two have completely ABSENTED themselves and the other E6 when DH asked him how he's getting away with it, isn't the unit pulling him back, why are they not assigning him this or that or bringing him along on tdys, the soldier just shrugged and announced "I make sure to make appointments for myself and then don't return to work, that way I can work on applying for jobs or taking care of things before I retire"
DH on the other hand feels badly for doing that, feels it's rather dishonest, and feels he should be there, helping out and what not.
I actually understand the desire. He's needed there and just about everyone likes to feel needed.
Its an admirable thing, he wants to be there, to be useful.

The thing is, this unit so far has done some pretty obvious, dumb things that have made their wishes apparent. I know that DH is a more experienced NCO, they hate to lose that. They have tried everything they can think of to get around the Retirement officer (who is a CIV so they are limited on what they can do to HER!)
The retirement officer and I have been barking at DH, he needs to do this, that, and everything else. (I just more or less regurgitate what the retirement officer says) The unit is more or less telling DH the retirement officer should not be telling him any of this, should not be allowed to push his paperwork through (which she did anyways, going around the unit and taking it out of the units hands somewhat)
The units most recent new gaff (if you can call it that) is that they have sent the required paperwork for DH to retire all the way to TX where it needs to be signed by LTC or COL (cannot recall which). However, that officer came here (MD) to work here for the next few months. So the paperwork that needs to be signed is in TX, the officer is here.
Unit is saying they cannot draft up new paperwork so DH is just stuck until the paperwork is signed by that official.
Cute.

Now, I really analyzed what was making me so angry last night. It actually wasn't really the unit calling DH in at 610p, which it turned out was because the SGM wanted all her soldiers to come in and provide birth certificates, passports (if we have them), SS cards, etc for a new filing system that they are working on. They also asked for mine and DS but DH said "Screw that! I'm not providing personal details about my wife and son to you all".

The reason I think I felt so angry and betrayed was, I've heard DH tell others before that "I don't know how military life is"
Then he told me that again last night. I don't know what it's like to be military.
All my life I have been military.
My Dad was USN. Retired E9. My Dad was gone from the time I was 4 until I was 12.
Deployed on back to back 3 year tours on aircraft carriers.
I moved as a kid here and there. I learned from both my parents how to pick up and move, how to cut ties with one area, start a new life in another. I learned how to manage during separations. My Mom, even though she is now an alcoholic was a military wife as well, when my Dad was gone for 8 years, her husband was gone for 8 years.
I have been fully integrated with the military system now since I was born. (almost 39 years now. Monday will be 39)
All my life I have been with the military. I don't know civilian life. I don't know what its like to have the same friends in the same town. I don't know what it's like to graduate with the same people I knew all my life.
I don't know what it's like as an adult to stay in the same town, city or whatever.
I don't know what it's like to worry about health care. I don't know what it's like to stay in the same job, to not have to constantly look for a new job every 3 years.
I do know however how it feels to constantly be worried for your soldier or sailor who is deployed. I do know how it feels to know that at any time your soldier can be called for a last minute deployment to Iraq. I know what it feels like when your loved one comes up on LEVY for another assignment far away from you.
I do know how it feels to be a sounding board to your soldier, or even when I was a teen, to my Dad. Hearing about life as a soldier or a sailor.
No, I've not been a soldier or sailor. I will most assuredly admit that.

But I do know military life. As scary as it is for my husband, going civilian. It is equally as scary for me.
I don't know civilian. Only now, coming up over the next few years will I learn it.


Still here, still sober. And dang, still gotta look up how to change my clock in my Jeep. Its messing with me.

munchkin05

Remember the retirement officer that is the BANE of DH's unit and command?
Uuuhh, well she ordered them to draw up new paperwork and shred the other junk. HOUSTON! WE HAVE TAKE OFF!
We have ORDERS! WE HAVE LEAVE FORMS.
OOOOHHHHHH DH's unit is going to be SO PISSED!!!

Pondlady

Munch, Both of you are facing big changes and that's scary. You seem to thrive on organization and accomplishment, which is a way to cope with anxiety. Hubby may be dealing with his anxiety in other ways......over eating and procrastinating? Regardless of how you each cope, it's stressful.......I'm sure for DS as well. There is a reason moving and job changes are high on the stress scale.

Glad you came here.......get it off your chest....with no hang over

munchkin05

ITS FRIDAY!!! YIPPEE!
And I am wearing my new hot & sexy skinny Jeans which are size 10, brand new from VS (from which clothes tends to run small sometimes anyways) and they are almost kind of LOOSE on me! Pale ivory jeans with a brown blouse today. Looks good with a tan and brown hair with gold and champagne highlights.
Woohoo!
DH bought me as a birthday present these jeans, a new hot pink sports bra, and a new set of very soft cotton PJs.

Have the party this weekend which I'm really looking forward to, which is amazing to me.
Its like that Rob Thomas song "Lets see how far we've come!"
Well that's me.
Told DH we will supply one pack of beer (don't really give a about what kind we get) and two bottles of wine. Anything else anyone else wants, they can buy it and bring it themselves. Instead I'm deep into what to serve........
Farm fresh stuff, like I typically do.
Home grown veggie dip, (cucumber dill dip), hot beef & cheese dip with tortilla chips, salsa and chips, locally produced eggs in deviled eggs, hot pepper jelly with cream cheese and crackers, veggies with dip, local cut up fruits with fruit dip. Only thing not being completely made by me (this is when a teenager daughter would be handy) is the either lumpia or potstickers. I haven't decided which one to make.
Then for main course, burgers, hot dogs, pasta salad, corn on the cob.
Dessert. We ordered a sheet cake from Wallyworld. Happy Birthday to me. DH told me he put no mention about his retirement (which is part of the reason we're having this party in the first place!)
I got balloons to make water balloons for the kiddies, as well a slip and slide to keep them occupied. DS has told me he will let all the kids play with his netbook which I've told him "not such a great idea"
DS is SUPER excited and I finally may have lit a fire under his bum to clean up his room!
(he told me in a rather sneaky way last night that all his friends have way messier rooms than his. Told him, no excuse. Don't want people seeing a messy room!)


So for myself though, by party time I will be chilling with a glass of ....sparkling perrier. Maybe some cranberry and lemon juice added? Or I still also have Lacroix left.
But it will be in a wine glass. Maybe I'll talk DH into making me a non alcoholic pina colada??
Nah, that makes it too obvious that I'm not drinking because others would want some, avec alcohol.
There are about 2 people at this party, by the way, who know I am a recovering alcoholic so I know they will not force any issues, which is a relief. Hell, my own PARENTS tend to push it more on me than our friends do, which I find pretty sad.

Well, I have mounds of work to do here today and oddly enough, my fingers seem to be having issues typing words in the correct order. (I've already spellchecked myself like three times here and found errors in my typing each time)

Still here still sober.

Pondlady

Have a lovely time at your party. Your outfit today sounds great....what are you wearing to the party?

munchkin05

Actually, not certain yet. Might be shorts which will be more comfortable, considering some of it will be with kids throwing water balloons and sliding around on the slip and slide.
I'd love to wear something nice but with most of the get together probably being in the garden in the backyard, well the backyard isn't really made for wearing nice outfits.
Tonight dh and I made the deviled eggs, fruit dip, pasta salad. We cleaned the cloth chairs outside, well no, hubby did that. I cleaned up all the drying garlic that has been hanging from the ceiling outside. Its time to braid it but I had to clean it up some. I feel like I have bugs crawling all over me now. The mosquitoes were attacking me incessantly. Its left me very itchy.
Oh and the squirrels made away with yet another tomato. Brandywine, one of my favorite varieties.

Tiredofdrugs

Quick suggestion that WORKS! Get you a 2 or 5 gallon sprayer. Fill it partially up with water. Then add a bottle or two of vanilla flavoring and a bottle of alcohol. Top the sprayer off with water. Spray the grass and any place else you want the mosquitoes to be gone from.

My daughter in MD. Had the same problem due to a pool behind their neighbors house that isn't being taken care of. She did the spray thing and called with an excited voice about how it works. Well Duh! Child!! LOL

I used a Lavendar Scented dryer sheet the other day to rub on my arms and neck. It also kept them away from me.

So there's you a couple of things to try.

Have loads of fun! My daughter's BD was today.

I have a Mexican Chef Salad recipe that feeds an Army and is very easy to make too for your next party.

TOD

munchkin05

sooooo tired guys. Been working non stop since about 8a. yardwork mostly done, house mostly clean. platters mostly made. DH told me not to make lumpia but I think I might make a few. I like lumpia.
Still have to wash floors upstairs, blow up water balloons. Fill up cooler with said balloons. DH running to wallyworld to pick up cake.
Can't wait to see how many calories I will have burned today. LOL
Whew.
Hhhmm, I think I've heard of the vanilla bit tod. Thankfully we don't get mosquitoes here too too much usually. Only at night which I don't think most of our guests will be staying that long.
Great news. I've got a clean house, a good workout today. Even if the party is a bust.

Tiredofdrugs

But Munchkin? After you eat everything today! You'll have it all back on that waistline again. Hiccup Hiccup Hiccup!!!

I hear ya on being tired! I stayed up this morning and cooked Jethro a grand breakfast before he went to work. Then I went outside to do some pen work since it was SOOOO Cool out there. But the heat is moving in now. And I have all the little kids in the long tin pen with a box fan just a roaring on them. Of course they weren't HAPPY about it because they were running the yard eating everything they got their beaks on while mom was fixing their pen.

Now I have that filthy kitchen to clean before I do their crates so they can come back inside in the cool. Then I can take a shower and PASS OUT.

It was on the weather channel this morning about how bad the mosquitos were going to be this summer. Good ole Vanilla will take care of them! Actually anything flowery smelling is supposed to do the trick.

TOD

munchkin05

Well, ONE person showed. So in the end, no burgers, no hot dogs, no corn. Just appetizers. and by 6pm, we all had a slice of cake. I'm not wanting ANYMORE sugar, and on top of that I'm sooooo craving something a bit better for me. Like a steak. Or a baked potato. Or a salad.

I'm so tired. Almost falling asleep here at my laptop at 745p. I don't think it'll add on to my waistline. I'm geared to burn 400 over my normal calorie burn goal of 2475. Still here, still sober.

Tiredofdrugs

Well CRAP OLA Munchkin! Only ONE showed? Well at least it provided for a more relaxing event, instead of one you'd been dropping from exhaustion afterwards. And you have a very clean house too. So it's a win/win situation for all of y'all!

Since your house is clean and there's not much to do? Grab the guys and go walk thru a zoo or park. Spend the day together and try to enjoy it with some fun and picture taking. Memories for later on.

TOD

Pondlady

Darn......sorry only one person showed, but sounds like you still enjoyed yourself

Yoga in the morning. Started the more advanced class last week and am really enjoying it. My hip and shoulder joints feel so "open" if that's a correct term....can't quite explain....but that's how it feels to me. I've improved posture and breathing. Can feel increased strength in my arms and legs......core is slower to come along!

Neighbor brought us some fresh produce from his family's farm. Made fresh corn salad this morning......delicious! I think I'm going to freeze a lot of corn for next winter.

munchkin05

It was nice but I do have to say, the one guy that showed, well he has really no life except for a few things. His new girlfriend, his work and drinking. That's it.
So most of his conversations were wrapped around sex, drinking, more sex, a bit more drinking oh and then work. LOL
It didn't bother me in the least with DH & him drinking. But the drinking talk annoyed me a bit but not to the point where it would make me want to drink.

I'm going to try to make it to a yoga class here on post today, not certain though since today is the day that DH picks up our CSA share. I do get off early today at 230p so the plan was even to go to the gym just for some cardio.

I kind of feel bad, kind of. I fought long and hard for a day off (yesterday) for my birthday.
Told the boss that we probably wouldn't be busy anyways since a lot of the government workers are furloughed on Mon/Fri.
Well come to find out this morning. We were super busy.
Yet again, an instance that if I take off we turn out to be super busy.
What's weird is that it always seems to happen.
I don't know if I should take it as a sign that I am just really needed in this office, that I do that much or is it just a fluke?
I can say this, most of the individuals here more or less express to me that I am not needed nor wanted here yet when I put in for time off they throw a fit.
DH thinks its because they do not like me as a person but they value my contributions to the office.
Don't know really.
All I know is that in a few months, if this really is the case, that they really need me, well they will be in a world of hurt. Cause this chica will be outta here.

Yesterday, for my bday, ran some errands, mostly around post, deposited a check, got a bit of cash, got my allergy shot, dropped DS off at daycare, visited a older gentleman friend that operates coin collection shop. I tease hubby because this gentleman never seems to sell to DH. Just to me.
I tell DH that the owner/operator of the shop just has a soft spot for ladies. (think 65+ black soft spoken man that is a retired highschool teacher. )
Then ran to the spa. Ahhh the spa.
Got a Chocolate Layered Facial.
& a Chocolate Mud Wrap
I came in, not too stressed but kind of tired. I've been tired a lot lately.
First they did the body wrap which smelled like dark chocolate, cherries and cinnamon.
Next after showering I had the facial which smelled like hershey syrup and cherries.
In between the facial and what not she would massage my scalp with cocoa butter and chocolate.
My hair still smells like cocoa.
Several times I woke myself up snoring.
I went to bed last night about 830pm, and this morning, woke up when my hubby was leaving at 530am. He kissed me goodbye and told me "you still smell like chocolate".
I was sweating profusely which is kind of odd. And last night I developed a smallish fever blister on my lower lip. I think in holistic healing beliefs this would signify a "healing crisis"
Oddly enough, I haven't felt MASSIVELY stressed lately but a few times I have noticed I feel very angry, upset, disturbed and tired.
So maybe I should now take this as a sign that I need to wind myself down some.

Plus side of the body wrap/facial. My skin all over looks fantastic! (barring the fever blister on my bottom lip that is)
And it was most definitely, very relaxing.
The reaction of my son was amusing as well. He kept coming up to me, grabbing my arm or sniffing my neck and then announcing "Hello my chocolate!"
LOL
Too funny.

Today I'm at work and it's pretty steady. Its now just 936a and I just finished my breakfast. Cocowheats.
YUM.
Now gotta get a few things done here.
Still here, still sober and still chocolatey.

Pondlady

Oh Munch, I'm, so sorry I forgot to wish you a Happy Birthday! I know you've been looking forward to it and setting weight goals etc for yourself. Your chocolate spa treatment sounds delicious....makes me want some chocolate right now!

Speaking of being disturbed, our yoga instructor talks about not letting things disturb our tranquility. So much of yoga is mental. Hope you got to try it today. I didn't like the first couple places I tried, so am glad I kept looking.

munchkin05

Nah, no worries Pond. Its all good.
I didn't even come here on my birthday. LOL

Well didn't make it to yoga. But did make it to the gym. I just couldn't stay long enough for the yoga.
I did elliptical for 27 minutes, level 4, then strength training. Mostly upper body.
I would've gone for 30 actually on the elliptical but my IPOD ran out of juice.

Last night did get to harvest 3 tomatoes. It seems the squirrels don't like the other tomatoes as much which is weird. I guess they are not as sweet?
And odder yet, the other neighbors have reported their brandywines have been victim to repeated attacks.
Guess we have squirrels that like heirloom brandywine tomatoes.
I've noticed they have had sporadic hits at our grape tomatoes too.


I've been thinking when I go on my hiatus in October I'm going to start up Yoga & spinning. The month of October I'm hoping I will be able to work more on me. Get caught up with doctor appointments, get ready for the big move and what not.
Talked to my old boss about getting some sort of job back in AK. Mostly trying to figure out will we be going to Fairbanks or Anchorage.
Anchorage is nicer in the fact that it is a bigger city, more opportunities for jobs, higher pay but higher prices on houses.
Fairbanks is nice because it's a small town, friendly people, less crime, better area to raise a kid.


Its crazy here today. Phones are nuts. And now we have to register each call and what the caller is calling about. LOL
That way we can make a report about the report about the report and waste even more manpower.
Well whatever.
Still here, still sober.

munchkin05

Adding a funny bit.
In talking to Mom, it's sounding like she's suddenly on a weight loss kick.
I wouldn't say a health kick because she's definitely not in THAT mindset.
First it started with her going to the doctor, the doctor put her on pills like phen phen or something like that that would "boost her metabolism" because she has decided her metabolism is slow.
After about 4 days she decided these weren't working. Her ankles swelled up, she gained several pounds, yada yada yada.
I'm willing to bet that those pills react badly with that amount of alcohol that she consumes.
So next, now she's on a 3 day diet. She's told me she should lose up to 10 pounds in 3 days.
Unfortunately I do not think that is going to be the case.
I'm glad she's getting out, she's exercising and playing raquetball with some of the ladies in the neighborhood. I'm glad she's TRYING to be more positive, be more healthy.
I just wish she'd give up the booze.
I wish I could call up her doctor there in Oregon and just ask him "please sir, check her liver enzymes"
But of course, that ain't happenin.

I guess this is more sad than funny actually.
I have to remember what I tell hubby all the time though about his father.
Not everyone follows the same path. We all have our own paths to follow and just because something works for one person, it won't work for everyone.
Something to remember in our (our people the family here at SR) quest for sobriety. Just because something works for one of us, it doesn't always work for all of us.
Well, I've gone on long enough. Its been hard typing this because the phones are busier here. Lost the first entry already once.

Tiredofdrugs

Munchkin: Happy belated Birthday to ya! I had a few days of bad BP with migraines. So I wasn't too aware of anything for a while. Sorry I forgot to tell you earlier.

I saw a show that suggested shaving mint soap and put in cloth bags. Then hang the bags in areas you don't want deer around. And for moles? Drop some X-lax chocolate bars into their holes and they'll go far far away. LOL So maybe the soap would work on the squirrels too.

As for calling the doctor about your mother's liver? I'm sure he/she already knows there's an alcohol problem with your mother. I thought phen phen was banned several years ago? I take a pill each day to boost my thyroid! Maybe she should check into that instead? Who knows? Maybe if she starts getting more involved it might make her want to quit drinking. You can only hope - right? My mom isn't an addict of anything, unless you include coffee. LOL My dad takes opiates each night and it has turned him into a bear at times.

So y'all are really moving to Alaska? WOW! I'd love to visit, but there's no way in hell I'd want to live there. My friend that lives there says it costs a fortune to live there. Hope y'all find a job and enjoy the life!

TOD