Ladybug2

My 3 year old starts preschool in the fall - same thing - 2 hours, 3 days a week. So sad, yet will be nice to have some ME time Need to think about going back to work at some point. I quit working when she was 9 months and we planned on having another child, but it doesn't look like that is meant to be, so on to Plan B.....

AllieB

I'm a little late here, but can you tell him directly, "look, dude, I'm more than willing to talk about these things with you, but I'm a bit on edge still with my new sobriety and I don't make good snap decisions. I could respond to you more productively if we set aside a specific, defined time to talk about finances. This would also help me because, while I know you can shift your focus at work easily and still be productive, it take me quite a while to refocus after I think about something as stressful as finances."

I'm the same way...I feel really easily derailed, and can lose hours or days when I'm knocked off kilter. It never used to be this extreme, so I'm hoping it's a phase. At any rate, I just wanted to note that it benefits both of you when you speak up about how you can talk productively. Him being at work and not as easily derailed doesn't make his needs (to talk now now now!) any more important than yours. And I'd bet that most of his co-workers would go nuts if he called every 20 minutes with issues instead of compiling similar issues into one conversation or email.

(I just re-read my post. Maybe the fact that I would address my imaginary husband as "dude" has something to do with my singledom!)

Soberpotamus

Soberpotamus

Thanks, Allie... yeah we had a talk yesterday A talk to have a bigger talk... lol, like planning to plan. Anyway, we set up a time to talk this weekend about it in a relaxed setting at home, away from work and other stressors.

AllieB

Sounds like a good plan (and plan to plan)!

Sorry to hear you may be losing Netflix.

Of course, Netflix streaming is the great procrastination demon. I just recently re-watched (sort of...it was background noise but I paid too much attention to it) almost all of Twin Peaks, and marveled at how, when TP was on tv, Netflix streaming would have been an unimaginable luxury instead of a common household perk.

Soberpotamus

What blows my mind is how much he watches Netflix... and that he keeps pushing ME to cancel it!

Same with the new kitten... he wants me to place an ad or take it to the pound. I told him he needs to do it, since he's so adamant about it.

I'm calling his bluff... it seems he wants me to do the dirty work. Ugh.

ImperfectlyMe

Hahahahaha Allie the dude comment cracked me up!

DG0409

I can understand him wanting you to place calls to cancel services since you can during 'home-work' time. But it just occurred to me that you cancel netflix online and can do it at anytime. Probably takes less time to cancel the subscription than he's spent talking about it.

DG0409

Now you have me wondering if the fact that I address my (real) bf as dude has anything to do with my relationship problems.

Soberpotamus

Agreed. I just think he's going to regret it. He is quibbling over, what, $9/month bill? I think it's not going to help that much when all's said and done, and we're giving up the documentaries and silly cartoons we both love to watch in down time.

Soberpotamus

So I just told him I'd cancel it today. He fussed that the cycle ends on 18th and to wait until then... he wants to watch his stuff until the very last minute. Lol. Whatever. I think we're totally spinning our wheels.

AllieB

Lol. You're a drummer and, I think, younger than I am. You're probably alright. You get the drummer dude pass.



SoberJennie, sounds like you might not be the only one contributing to the emotional undercurrents with Netflix/finances. Finances make us all a little wacky, I guess!

AllieB

Yeah, Netflix is actually pretty cheap as far as entertainment goes. But summer is a good time to forego indoor luxuries.

triathlynne

I feel really crappy today. Headachy and sore all over. I was in bed for 6:30 last night, all the way through till 5am. Then got to work and laid down for another 1.5 hours . I want to go home and crawl into bed and do it all over again.

Soberpotamus

Well guys... I feel a load's been lifted. I sent off an email about a job I'd recently taken on. I've been having second thoughts, as the job entailed some work that I simply wasn't getting compensated fairly for. Was causing me distress all week. Beating my head in over sticking it out and not "failing" or just being done with it all. So I emailed her about it, awaiting her response... they'll either offer to pay me more, or it's over. Either way, I can at least know I've tried to compromise and remedy the situation.

Soberpotamus

Triathlynne, I hope you get some rest and feel better soon!

DG0409

Day 67.

Still realizing how deeply alcohol affected my life. So many times I acted in ways that confused the hell out of me and now it makes so much sense. It was just the alcohol. It's funny how some people will say that anything somebody does on alcohol is like a latent desire that they would have wanted to do it sober, but wouldn't have had the balls or whatever. I've come to totally disagree. There are so many things I did when drunk that in no way whatsoever are things my sober self would want consciously or unconsciously.

Starting to realize that all of the conversations I had with bf when we were both drunk/smoking dope all the time were totally useless. I am starting to see where my own perception of reality was... well I wasn't even perceiving reality. I was perceiving drunken, drugged, psycho thoughts. So many times, I'd get frustrated because our conversations didn't go anywhere. Well, no ******* wonder: we were both just making **** up all the time to fit our needs. I can remember bf saying things like "I don't see any thing that needs done around the house." And I could see a zillion fricking things that needed done... so why wasn't he doing them?? Now, I realize that I think he CHOOSES not to see things... and well, he probably really doesn't see them because of that. My question now, is Why did I let all of these things go so long?? The answer is obvious.

Yesterday doing some cleaning a pile of junk, I found a plastic bag with two dirty wine glasses in it. I was like REALLY??!?!?! WTF?? What was I even doing?? Hiding my drinking from myself?? There are TWO of them... normally I drink alone in the place I found them... where did the second one even come from?? 67 days later and I'm finding stuff like that...

I guess I never really realized how deeply into the bottle I was. It's kind of a shock to discover how long "quitting drinking" is taking. 2+ months, and I still feel like I'm just at the beginning of this journey.

Babs1234

DG--don't feel bad--it's unbelievable where you hide the booze when you are a closet drinker. I use to put it into water bottles and i found one in a old jewelry box under the bed in our spare bedroom. I found such a good spot I even forgot about it. Ha---now that's bad.

Soberpotamus

I hear you, DG... yeah I discovered a half filled wine glass behind the bed, it was growing mold. Ugh.

Soberpotamus

I used to find half empty beers in the console in my car. Evidence that I'd either been sitting in the parked car in the garage drinking, hiding. Or actually driving around in the car with open beer.