Class of January 2013 Part 8
 

continues from here

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-7-a-20.html

D

Just posting to get automatic email notification. Hope everyone has a great weekend. I'm gonna do a little fishing, gardening, cooking, and writing. Hang tough folks, there seems like there's only a few of us left.
Best,
W

At this relatively early stage on the road to better health & recovery, the attrition rate seems alarmingly high. I know people wander away for various reasons, so my optimistic bent chooses to believe they have other (better?) supports ...

The SR site -- and this January thread in particular -- is the perfect fit for me. My S.O. does not drink (never has!), which means I'm never confronted with crippling temptation on the home front ... which seems to be half the battle for some. On the other hand, also like friends and family members of some here, he did not think I had a problem because I wasn't lying in a gutter. The need for 1/2 - 3/4 bottle of wine per night, every night, for years is a problem, no matter where one lays one's head down at night ...

So it's a rather solitary journey, this ... thanks to all for their kind words!

A happy weekend to all!

Sometimes, and increasingly so, to not drink feels normal. When I do think of it a reflexive resistance takes control. I know it's foolish to think my struggles against alcohol are over as my sobriety (began 2-January) is in the infancy stages. But I am starting to believe that living without drink is something I can do. The positive changes are undeniable.

This week some medical results came back with a clean bill of health. The more comprehensive blood tests will return in May. My energy is still way too low and my GP advised to not lose anymore weight. But she was very satisfied with my BP, resting heart rate and overall appearance. I'm lucky to have such a good GP.

Does anyone need MORE sleep since stopping? It's crazy but I went from 4-5 hrs per night to 7-8 hrs. The quality of sleep is far better sober.

Someday I want to post all the changes that came with sobriety. I apologize for rambling with this post. Like you, Liz, my struggles have been very private with SR and this thread my only source of sharing. Hope everyone has a great weekend! Keep on keeping on.

Totally agree, L2H! Now i'm confronting other things (lots of self-doubt and guilt)
every day. Guess this is part of the process. Spending virtually no time at all with big drinking friends - well none, actually! - but at least I no longer panic about what they'll say about my non-drinking. Their issue, not mine.

Hey gang! It's 100 days for me here, woohoo! Feels great, nice round even triple digit number!!
I can relate to a lot that was said in the past couple of posts. I have been sleeping a lot better, more soundly, just more solid sleep. It's a great feeling to wake up rested and clear-headed.
Reeny, I feel I am confronting a lot of other things as well - almost overwhelmingly so. I feel like such a raw nerve all the time. I feel so full of self-doubt, poor self-esteem, fear, insecurity... it's like I just never realized i was such a messed up person before. Because I drank those feelings away? Not sure, but they are hear now, front and center, and it's very scary and exhausting. At the same time, i am very aware how much worse drinking would make things, so even when I think of it, it's more of an abstract thought, not like a real temptation that I have to fight off. I know it's a lifelong battle, sometimes it's almost worrisome how easy it is to resist right now. Still struggling a bit with the smoking - none for 3 days, then broke down, now back to day 2 again. It adds so much tension to my relationship with my husband, I wish it were easier to give up than it is. Sometimes i worry that I'll never be happy. Everything just feels like so much work.
Hang in there everyone.
-Alison

Congratulations on 100 days Alison :You_Rock_
Like2hike I am so glad you got a clean bill of health. It must be quite a relief. My energy is still on the low side too but I quit worrying about it.
Otherwise, not much here. I was looking forward to going to the Japanese gardens but it looks like it is going to pour rain Bummer.
It is really nice to wake up with no hangover and feeling refreshed.
Being sober feels truly normal but I don t want to take it for granted and forget where I come from.
Wishing everyone a good and sober day.

Congrats on the centennial, Alison! Please don't carry around unnecessary baggage. You're kicking alcohol which meams you are a very accomplished, strong soul.

I know what you mean about not seeing much of a certain set of friends. Some of my friends seem p***d that I won't join in on their "fun". That had me down last weekend but not enough to effect my resolve. That's cool that you're going all-in on healthy living, Reeny. No doubt most of us here are of the All-In mentality.

The weather cleared here so we're off to the track and trails with dirt bikes. My son is getting very fast out there but I'm not yet ready to give up the top dog status. I hope I don't tear up anything that still works without pain on a 46 yr old structure.

Have fun everyone!

Found you all YAY

Alison congratulations on day 100 :D

My internet crashed and my phone wouldnt play ball logged in but had a little circle going around and around and around and around and around lol you get the picture no SR ahh how are my going to cope for 2 whole weeks.

I can relate to a lot that's been posted I have avoided my *drinking pals* since i started not drinking in January when I have run into them I have made excuses. In all honestly this started before the drinking stopped I no longer enjoyed the pub social life that they all seem to love so much felt like a square peg in round hole just went to special events like birthdays I chose to drink at home instead. I am learning I am a home bird not a night owl.

My emotions are raw and overwhelming too though the last week they seemed to have mellowed a bit hope its the start of things to come still reading my dummy books about meditation and positive thinking techqniques i give up on the yoga for dummies dvd it just didn't seem for me. Its all trial and error at the moment giving things a go and see what sticks. A lifetime of learning how to self hate is not going to turn into self love overnight so I am taking it one day at a time and trying to build ways to think positive not easy.

Well think thats enough about me for one day :) hope you all enjoying a lovely weekend and are finding ways to have fun.

:ring

Hi all felt I should check in. That's all for now hope everyone's doing well.

Hi class. Just checking in also.
At work but almost done. Hubby was out of town last night so I went out on the town as DD for some folks. It was nice to go see some people I haven't seen in awhile and a good reminder that I'm not missing out on anything. Same old story, hop from one bar to the next, joke around and bull*#t, then they got so drunk they couldn't hold a conversation. Then got them all home safe and went to bed. I woke up feeling great, and positive that they all woke up with a hangover. Never had any desire to join in on the drinking, just the joking around part. I was told that I'm a little more ornery now than I was before. A couple of the guys had issues with me not drinking, but I fooled them with a diet coke and they continued to cheers my coke all night without a clue.

Congratulations on 100 days, Alison - fantastic! :You_Rock_

Great to have some of the January stayers checking in. So good that we have each other here. Don't know what I'd do without you.

Yes. I find the sleep better, but I could easily sleep 10 instead of the 6 I normally do because I read until midnight. I want to get into a habit of sleeping from 10 until 6 instead of 12 until 6.

Congrats!

Good morning class,

I feel all giddy at the idea that tonight is my home group birthday meeting and I will receive my 3 months chip and eat banana cake. I truly came to love and respects those people and maybe the little girl within me wants their approval LOL.
What is sad is that even though it is a very supportive, non judgmental group and more importantly not "pushy", since I joined, many new people have come and gone. Only one new person is celebrating 30 days tonight. Stupid alcoholism.
Anyway, wishing everyone a good and sober day.

Congratulations on 100 days Alison :)

D

Have to log in from work today to tell you what just happened. I teach at a uni and I just had a student come in to request an assignment extension for alcohol-dependency reasons. Ended up talking to me at length about his problem and the difficulty of dealing with it. I had to just listen (couldn't share in the conversation for professional reasons; would love to have recommended SR!) but, boy, was I a sympathetic listener! Everything he said so resonated with what we talk about here in the forum. Yes, stupid alcoholism.

While dealing with the physical pain of my miscarriage, which lasted a full week BTW with at least 3 days of off and on bad pain, I took a painkiller. I'm afraid I've opened up a bad jar of worms and I'm scared. I only had 1 around, happened to find it in my bathroom drawer and took half of it one of the days I had pain and 1/2 the next day. I'm really disappointed in myself, I was supposed to take at least a few days of work off per the doctors orders, but the problem is that no one can cover for me in a way where it won't be even more stressful trying to catch up once I come back. My husband had to go out of town the afternoon after we came back from the ER (last Monday). I thought the ER trip was the end of the miscarriage but the rest came out in the bathroom while I was at work the next day and the day after. Sorry for being graphic but this is what I've been dealing with and even though my husband came back into town yesterday, I don't really have anyone else to talk to who would understand. I actually thought about drinking for a split second, but to be honest it made me sick thinking about it. Anyway that's my update, I had to get out how im feeling, thx for listening.

Lunetta my heart goes out to you, you have been through a very difficult time. Hang in there things will get easier sending all my love from this side of the alantic.

I dont know much about pain killers i have taken the odd one when i have had headaches etc but being cautious is wise especially during tough times dont need to find another addiction. Well done for staying strong in your sobriety throughout.

Xxxx