Class of May 2012 part 20
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Aussie
Posts: 382
Dee I hope you feel better soon!
Aviva! Congratulations on 11months!
43days sobriety for me today and there is nothing I would rather be but sober! Every day my mind gets clearer and my mood enhances. I'm so thankful for sobriety.
Aviva! Congratulations on 11months!
43days sobriety for me today and there is nothing I would rather be but sober! Every day my mind gets clearer and my mood enhances. I'm so thankful for sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Congrats Aviva!
Thanks to FP, Emily, and all for the discussion on sharing / not sharing history with dates/mates. FP I don't judge you for whatever you do or do not share. I appreciate your honesty and thoughtful response. The only situation that seems like a drag (just my opinion) is that based on his occasional offer to just have one, he seems to think you might someday drink again. So I do hope you handle that OK. Maybe you could get the message across that it's not that you are temporarily laying off the sauce, that it's a lifestyle choice....but you know best what works for you. I definitely think you can clearly send that message if you wanted to without revealing any skeletons - and I totally agree that in this early phase there is no need to dig all those bones out (at the mo
I will tell a little story about me and my (failed) marriage - I had been honest about my alcohol history to the ex, and in all our conversations, he brushed it off nonchalantly as if it were no big deal. Wish I would have been a little more observant about this (aaaaand a lot of other things, but that's another story...) When I relapsed during the marriage, he really struggled with supporting me, partially because I don't think he ever really "got" it. I don't expect normies to "get it" get it, but he just couldn't understand my struggle or comply with my request to have a few booze-free nights around the house (of course he at the time was admittedly abusing booze himself, so that could have been his addiction talking as far as his inability to go 24 hours without a drink at home.) I'm not sure how I'd handle this in the future, but in a roundabout way I guess I'm saying if you do choose to tell MP more, and he expresses concern or even "freaks out" a little, maybe that's not a bad thing....it could indicate that he grasps the depths of your history w/ alcohol on some level.
So I'm still only just dipping my paw in the dating pool, but for some reason this time around I feel strongly about just admitting upfront that I don't drink and not going into any further details on that until date 2 or 3
I used to dance around the question if it came up on date #1 and downplay it as if it's just for that particular day. But that always ends up coming back to bite me, and I want to know upfront if there is an issue - I could see if someone was a big time wine drinker or beer guzzler that they would be looking for similar in a partner- that's cool, but not gonna work for this kittycat. May as well get back to my cat nap
Should I get to later dates I will probably share a little more by saying something along the lines of it not agreeing with me and that I'm happier without it. Of course this all changes based on who I'm dating....Oh yeah and he has to pass date 1 first And I have not even met this hypothetical man but can I just say he is sure taking his sweet time!!!!
Thanks to FP, Emily, and all for the discussion on sharing / not sharing history with dates/mates. FP I don't judge you for whatever you do or do not share. I appreciate your honesty and thoughtful response. The only situation that seems like a drag (just my opinion) is that based on his occasional offer to just have one, he seems to think you might someday drink again. So I do hope you handle that OK. Maybe you could get the message across that it's not that you are temporarily laying off the sauce, that it's a lifestyle choice....but you know best what works for you. I definitely think you can clearly send that message if you wanted to without revealing any skeletons - and I totally agree that in this early phase there is no need to dig all those bones out (at the mo
I will tell a little story about me and my (failed) marriage - I had been honest about my alcohol history to the ex, and in all our conversations, he brushed it off nonchalantly as if it were no big deal. Wish I would have been a little more observant about this (aaaaand a lot of other things, but that's another story...) When I relapsed during the marriage, he really struggled with supporting me, partially because I don't think he ever really "got" it. I don't expect normies to "get it" get it, but he just couldn't understand my struggle or comply with my request to have a few booze-free nights around the house (of course he at the time was admittedly abusing booze himself, so that could have been his addiction talking as far as his inability to go 24 hours without a drink at home.) I'm not sure how I'd handle this in the future, but in a roundabout way I guess I'm saying if you do choose to tell MP more, and he expresses concern or even "freaks out" a little, maybe that's not a bad thing....it could indicate that he grasps the depths of your history w/ alcohol on some level.
So I'm still only just dipping my paw in the dating pool, but for some reason this time around I feel strongly about just admitting upfront that I don't drink and not going into any further details on that until date 2 or 3
I used to dance around the question if it came up on date #1 and downplay it as if it's just for that particular day. But that always ends up coming back to bite me, and I want to know upfront if there is an issue - I could see if someone was a big time wine drinker or beer guzzler that they would be looking for similar in a partner- that's cool, but not gonna work for this kittycat. May as well get back to my cat nap Should I get to later dates I will probably share a little more by saying something along the lines of it not agreeing with me and that I'm happier without it. Of course this all changes based on who I'm dating....Oh yeah and he has to pass date 1 first
And I have not even met this hypothetical man but can I just say he is sure taking his sweet time!!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
I just thought of one other thing FP - again your call - but if you did make it clear to MP that you & drinking is just "not gonna happen" you might (maybe) save him feeling like a jacka** later if and when you do feel comfortable sharing more. Not sure how often he brings it up, but if it is fairly often he might feel stupid later when you tell him (i.e. "how could you let me go on about you having a drink not knowing your past?"...etc.etc.)
If it's only happened once or twice maybe not necessary....
If it's only happened once or twice maybe not necessary....
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
(((Dee))), take good care of yourself and feel better soon, sober mate.
(((KittyCat))), you are 100 percent, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-ly awesome with all of your timely words of wisdom to me! Wow, I hadn't even considered how holding back might make MP feel, as you say, "...like a jacka**..." down the road. I've taken your thoughts and shared experiences to heart. Thank you soooo much. An extra large bag of fragrant, organic catnip for my favorite sober kitten.
(((KittyCat))), you are 100 percent, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-ly awesome with all of your timely words of wisdom to me! Wow, I hadn't even considered how holding back might make MP feel, as you say, "...like a jacka**..." down the road. I've taken your thoughts and shared experiences to heart. Thank you soooo much. An extra large bag of fragrant, organic catnip for my favorite sober kitten.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
Day 10, and it's been a busy day that's seen me finding it hard to find time to post.
I found a chair for tonights meeting, and her story was particularly inspiring. It's interesting that 2 out of the last 3 people I've asked have turned round and said that they were really glad to be asked as they'd been in a bad place. I guess it shows that my higher power and theirs were working together, eh?
Dee - hope you feel better soon.
SoberJaneDoe - It's good to not just be sober, but to be sober and glad as well. There have been quite a few times in recovery when I was very much not happy to be sober, and was just clinging on. But today... I'm grateful for what I have.
OneLessLonely - Indeed, it will soon by May again. In some ways, I feel like I've come along way in that time. We all have. It's hard to believe where I was just 12 months ago, and there are times when I forget, and times when I have to remind myself exactly how things were over the years.
It's also very easy to tell myself that the slips I've had since then mean that I've not come so far at all. But today, I'm a lot more relaxed and comfortable than I have in a very long time, and maybe, just maybe, I've got better at handling life.
hitrockbottom, kittcat - good to hear from you.
Anyway, it's nearly time for bed. Tomorrow I hope to be planting more potatoes, so I'm going to need plenty of sleep. Good night folks, and sleep well.
Love and Hugs to you all. x x
I found a chair for tonights meeting, and her story was particularly inspiring. It's interesting that 2 out of the last 3 people I've asked have turned round and said that they were really glad to be asked as they'd been in a bad place. I guess it shows that my higher power and theirs were working together, eh?
Dee - hope you feel better soon.
SoberJaneDoe - It's good to not just be sober, but to be sober and glad as well. There have been quite a few times in recovery when I was very much not happy to be sober, and was just clinging on. But today... I'm grateful for what I have.
OneLessLonely - Indeed, it will soon by May again. In some ways, I feel like I've come along way in that time. We all have. It's hard to believe where I was just 12 months ago, and there are times when I forget, and times when I have to remind myself exactly how things were over the years.
It's also very easy to tell myself that the slips I've had since then mean that I've not come so far at all. But today, I'm a lot more relaxed and comfortable than I have in a very long time, and maybe, just maybe, I've got better at handling life.
hitrockbottom, kittcat - good to hear from you.
Anyway, it's nearly time for bed. Tomorrow I hope to be planting more potatoes, so I'm going to need plenty of sleep. Good night folks, and sleep well.
Love and Hugs to you all. x x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 3,360
Afternoon Mayans
OLL: sounds like you are doing well, fun things are important, everything will get done...eventually. That is my motto, since becoming sober. Im doing well, long as I stay away from the first drink.
F.P.: you are sounding so happy, Your Pach friend is very fortunate to have met you!
HRB: thinking of you too, hope you get some good rest soon
Have a great day everyone
Bloss
OLL: sounds like you are doing well, fun things are important, everything will get done...eventually. That is my motto, since becoming sober. Im doing well, long as I stay away from the first drink.
F.P.: you are sounding so happy, Your Pach friend is very fortunate to have met you!
HRB: thinking of you too, hope you get some good rest soon
Have a great day everyone
Bloss
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
hi guys, hope you are having a good day. don't know what to say here, other than a great sunday somehow led to a nice evening but awful night and Monday. I don't know which end is up.
The up side is I have no desire to drink. Could really use a hug, though...
The up side is I have no desire to drink. Could really use a hug, though...
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Hello Mayans!
Happy to be here after a very long and very stressful (and also sober) day. In spite of the various slips along my path, I feel that working through those has helped me become much stronger and I finally feel much more comfortable that I can sustain this for the long run. Every day is Day 1 for me.
It now looks like I may have my very own DP and I have never seen him drink. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'm not sure I want to get into a relationship at this point in my life but we'll see. He is an old friend from a number of years ago who doesn't live nearby so get-togethers are few and far between. I'm taking my own sweet time now because I have mixed feelings about the idea.
Jeni, This is the longest I think I've seen with no post from you! I hope you are ok!
Lots of love to all!
Sass
Happy to be here after a very long and very stressful (and also sober) day. In spite of the various slips along my path, I feel that working through those has helped me become much stronger and I finally feel much more comfortable that I can sustain this for the long run. Every day is Day 1 for me.
It now looks like I may have my very own DP and I have never seen him drink. So I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'm not sure I want to get into a relationship at this point in my life but we'll see. He is an old friend from a number of years ago who doesn't live nearby so get-togethers are few and far between. I'm taking my own sweet time now because I have mixed feelings about the idea.
Jeni, This is the longest I think I've seen with no post from you! I hope you are ok!
Lots of love to all!
Sass
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Hi bloss!
Hi WeHav....wouldn't you know it, I have a free hug to give away!
Hi Sas, keep us posted on your DP. When having mixed feelings, always good to take your time. And I know you want to be healthy and make decisions from a healthy place!
Hi Jeni we miss you!
Hi WeHav....wouldn't you know it, I have a free hug to give away!
Hi Sas, keep us posted on your DP. When having mixed feelings, always good to take your time. And I know you want to be healthy and make decisions from a healthy place!
Hi Jeni we miss you!
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
Sorry for taking time away. I had a personal crisis to deal with. My mother suffered from the terminal genetic illness Huntington's Disease. I now am showing symptoms myself.
I suspected this for a while and I'm content with it. I have learned to live life at the moment this past year and there is nothing I would do differently. From taking my little dog in to treating myself to the rock concert I'm proud of what I have done, and continue to do.
The countdown begins. In 5 days I will have a year. I have a new sponsee and it is working out great. Specifically she has some issues she needs to talk out and that's really helping me keep busy and out of self.
Thanks for my ramble and now off to read the rest of this thread. I have kept all of you in my daily thoughts even when not posting here. Spending time with my Higher Power outside myself and on others is a key to my program. I also am going to start working the NA tenth step pamphlet again at night before bedtime. It's rigorous but I need that now.
I suspected this for a while and I'm content with it. I have learned to live life at the moment this past year and there is nothing I would do differently. From taking my little dog in to treating myself to the rock concert I'm proud of what I have done, and continue to do.
The countdown begins. In 5 days I will have a year. I have a new sponsee and it is working out great. Specifically she has some issues she needs to talk out and that's really helping me keep busy and out of self.
Thanks for my ramble and now off to read the rest of this thread. I have kept all of you in my daily thoughts even when not posting here. Spending time with my Higher Power outside myself and on others is a key to my program. I also am going to start working the NA tenth step pamphlet again at night before bedtime. It's rigorous but I need that now.
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