Dee74

I offer this new thread as a gesture of good will.

Today was a trying day - please... let's leave it there.

I hope everyone will take this fresh start to heart.
D

Panache

Shotgun!

MeSoSober

I think I must've missed something.

Sober Day 17. I am miserable (same old, same old with the job-hunting thing) but not drinking and not really even tempted. That's why I haven't been posting as much the last few days -- distracted by That Other Thing. And what's most frustrating is that my growing panic makes me want to just curl up into a fetal position and do NOTHING -- the exact OPPOSITE of what I most need to be doing.

I went to fill out an online application for a major retailer yesterday. For one of the questions regarding previous jobs, you had to choose whether you were still working there, left voluntarily, left involuntarily (fired) or laid off. Well, I was fired from my previous two "real" (full-time, permanent) jobs. If I am truthful that I left them both involuntarily, why would they even consider me? So I use that as an excuse to throw up my hands and give up, basically. So discouraging.

Sorry to be a downer. Encouragement, kicks in the pants welcome. I need an R. Lee Ermey standing over me screaming right now.

I hope everyone else is going strong and staying sober -- keep Marching!

Mrbeagle

Thanks Dee!

Hey MeSo, I feel you with the job hunting situation. I wasn't 'fired' from my last part-time job, it was more of a 'tactical resignation'. You gotta keep trying though. I read a post a long time ago on here of a person in a similar situation who in the interview flat out said that she was fired from her last job because she was an alcoholic, but was now committed to a program of recovery. She showed the interviewer her 1 year chip and was employed on the spot. Don't underestimate the strength that people see in you for battling an addiction

Panache

MeSoSober,

I've been in a situation similar to that and what I had to do was be a little bit "creative" with the truth. I didn't lie, but was just selective with what I disclosed and how I worded things. I was told this trick by a careers advisor when applying for jobs.

His reasoning behind it was simple, all I had to do was secure an interview with the CV/application form and half the battle was won. If you can just get to interview you can sell yourself in there undoubtedly and they'll get a feel for your character, willingness and... Panache

Good luck with it MeSo, something will come along eventually just don't be deterred by the set backs, they're nothing in the grand scheme.

Anna

I was so, so disappointed to come online this morning and read about all the nonsense that went on last night in the March thread.

Please keep in mind these threads are for ALL the members of SR, not just March people and therefore they must follow the rules we have in place for the boards. If you are interested in idle chat and humor exclusively, then please move to the Café to post those comments. They do not belong in the newcomer daily support or newcomer forums.

MeSoSober

Panache and Mrbeagle, you guys made me cry -- but in the good/grateful way.

Man, I would REALLY rather be the person pumping other people up than being the emotional vacuum myself. I do see myself overcoming all of this and getting back in the saddle professionally in the long term -- it's the short-term crisis that's getting to me. But enough of that. I'm sick of hearing MYSELF whine about it.

I started a "Marcher Mania" thread in the Café for banter and joking and shameless flirting and love-spreading and all the other (necessary) nonsense. See you there (but please don't forget to post here)!

I have often wished the Café was more active -- so maybe this will help!

Panache

MeSoSober I just wrote there, that's an excellent idea. Like an offshoot for our quirkiness without disrespecting anyone.

Make good on the job hunt and be lucky today sweetheart. You'll get there.

tootsl1

Anna i would like to say that this is one of the most loving supportive threads i have been involved in, if you were to read over our history you will see that. We are NOT exclusively chit chat or humour, but sometimes it is a part of us. No one is just about recovery, that has to be a part of who we are and not merely define us. We have new members here frequently and they are welcomed. Again, look back. Sometimes we may get the balance wrong, but mostly its not far of beautiful. I love these guys and ha e the capacity to love a whole lot more. If someone comes looking for support, they get it. In spades

Anna

The rules must be respected and followed. Of course, humour is just fine, along with welcoming all members who post here. As Dee said, balance is the key.

tootsl1

Mesoso, good idea, i will check the cafe out. As for work, panache & mrb have it pretty much covered except to say, i too have felt like pulling the covers up and hopin g it would all go away, but it has t worked yet!!! Good luck sweetie

Saskia

MeSoSo, I hear you! Panache' comment is, in my experience, an excellent suggestion. Most of us would much rather be honest and up front and that is always my preference. When job hunting, however, I've found that discretion is also important. Quite a few years ago I had a very severe depression and was hospitalized for several weeks. I was fine after that but on my first job interview I felt morally obligated to disclose that. Well, I was interviewing for a job as a legal secretary for 2 lawyers (and I was only 20 at the time). The results of that disclosure now seems almost comical but it really made me much more cautious. This many years later I can still "see" the look that passed between the two lawyers at my disclosure.

There may have been changes over the years but I don't think it has changed that drastically. I don't lie when applying for a job, but I do find ways to minimize the risks.

Good luck in your job hunting. Not all employers will be put off by the truth but people doing the hiring are going to be looking out for the welfare of the company, not you.

Hugs,
Sassy

Saskia

Anna,

I understand that there are rules and occasionally we may need reminders (at least i know i do). I think Toots spoke well for many of us.

The other side of this coin is that the newcomer arrived with guns blazing. There's no way to know if this individual was hurting or psycho. Without face-to-face it's hard to tell.

I wonder if it would be appropriate for the one of the mods to intervene when someone arrives so clearly angry. I would think that could be disruptive to any thread.

That said, I support the use of the cafe for lighter fare and plan to check it out. Thank you for providing that venue!

Sassy

1Dayatatyme

The "do I tell my potential employer or not" dilemma is a bit tricky, in my experience. I got clean and sober, my first go around, in 1999, and was clean and sober over 10 years until this relapse on pain pills. I got a job in 2002 for a non profit agency that helped homeless people, many with substance abuse issues. I told my supervisor about my recovery after I was hired, as I was working a great program, and every time I was sick, which was very rare, I was called in for a "chat". I felt I was being judged. After that job, I did not share my recovery experiences at work, just at meetings, and work went much smoother. Again, that is just my experience at one place... but I think it all depends on the personal knowledge and experience of the person doing the interviewing or supervising... we just don't know their past issues and their biases around alcoholism or substance abuse.
"Take what you want, and leave the rest".

MeSoSober

Thanks, all. I got my last good job despite having been fired from the previous one -- when the HR manager asked what happened at the previous job, I told her the contract ended (a form of the truth, but certainly not the whole/primary truth).

But with these retail positions that seem to be largely "application-focused" rather than "resume focused," you HAVE to answer the question on the application, and in the case I mentioned, you had four definite choices, so no sugarcoating or half-truthing or whatever.

But there are other avenues besides retail.

Love the one-year chip story. I just have to stay positive and MAKE THE EFFORT.

Anna

Yes, for sure.

Use the Report a Post feature which goes directly to all Mods, so any Mod online will check into the problem and take action if needed.

Saskia

Thanks, Anna. I hope never to need it but it's good to know and could perhaps prevent some problems!

Sassy

RaggedyMan

Just dropping in briefly - one month tomorrow for me, so a few observations..

- crow's feet seem to be disappearing
- so do the moobs ;-)
- concentration levels are up
- mood is more even

All good, still get cravings which will undoubtedly be tested this weekend with a visit to the inlaws; we don't speak the same language (not a euphemism!!!) so wine/beer is thrust my way with abandon. So some trepidation about the next few days... I'm up for a challenge!

Stay strong... Cheers

bepresent

Dee, thanks for the new thread.

MeSo, have you thought about freelancing? You'd be less likely to have to divulge info you don't want to divulge.... In my old job I was on the other side of the equation and used to commission work from freelancers - there are plenty of websites you could sign up for, and writing/editing seems to be a popular category. You might not make as much money as you'd like to at first, but it could be a start, plus some experience to put on your resume while you look for full-time...?

I had an awful dream last night in which I'd started drinking again. I was so relieved to wake up and realise it wasn't true. It kind of took me by surprise because I really haven't been thinking about alcohol much at all, but I guess it's still buried in the subconscious.

Shoes, how is your poorly cat doing?

360shoes

Hi Everybody,
Leo is much better thank you BP. Will need to pull out the carpet cleaner but that won't be the first time. Hope you are feeling good. If you do get morning sickness I don't recommend grass eating. Leo can attest that doesn't work so good.

MeSo, PM me if you want to tell me what kind of work you are looking for and what general vicinity you live in and I'll keep my eyes open for you too. I'm on the gazillion job boards daily.

Hey, I'm not going to make any bump in the road bigger than just a bump in the road. I ain't perfect and I'm certainly not going to expect it from others. I'm not so sure that I don't need to remember that not all that long ago...a short 2 months give or take to be exact. I was not living the ideal of perfection and highest of principles myself. Pretty far from it really. I choose love, compassion, forgiveness for myself and others. I'll throw in a heartfelt I'm sorry also if I ever made anyone feel left out or hurt in any way. Sounds to me like we got it figured out. A place for balance and a place for crazy fun. A solution for tricky situations by calling for a moderator. Just like taking that first drink....yell for help before it gets ugly. I can live with that. Better than not having you all in my life in my opinion. I choose all of you. xoxo