Class of March 2013 Part 12
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Hey and thanks, Chuff and Sassy!
Bruce and Troae!
Bruce, 40 days is great!
Troae, may I ask what that name means?
Toots, I too sometimes miss my poison, at least the way it made me feel good, before it made me feel so awful. Maybe we actually need to go through the stages of grief: denial, blame, anger, depression, acceptance. Especially if it was a long, complicated relationship. Mine was.
This is a big group, Marchers! I like it!
Bruce and Troae!Bruce, 40 days is great!
Troae, may I ask what that name means?
Toots, I too sometimes miss my poison, at least the way it made me feel good, before it made me feel so awful. Maybe we actually need to go through the stages of grief: denial, blame, anger, depression, acceptance. Especially if it was a long, complicated relationship. Mine was.
This is a big group, Marchers! I like it!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Yorkshire, UK
Posts: 348
Toots,
That is very much how I felt/feel, it's in part the reason I drank at 40 days.
I think mostly its because I feel/felt that yes I have a drink problem, I know that because of my bank balance, my bowel movements (sorry but it's true), my health in general, the huge stack of cans I was crushing once a week to recycle.
But also I have never hit rock bottom either, I lost a job because I didn't turn up when i was hungover, but really I wasn't that into the job so no biggie (my mind says), so technically it was just a bad habit, like smoking, isn't good for me but I enjoy it.
I have said it before its as though I have stopped doing my favourite hobby and its tough to celebrate when I have to work so hard not to do what I want to do.
Anywho that's that, and really all lies, if I sit and truly think about it, which I don't because that would be hard too, then I realise lots of things have been ruined because of my drinking, my mental health for one, friendships, aforementioned financials. Ect ect
Ultimately i don't know, maybe that's just how it will always be, a knife edge of knowing and wanting. Maybe we just have to accept that, and in doing so we live the next 30 years being recovering alcoholics, or not, depending on which bit cuts you most.
AoS
That is very much how I felt/feel, it's in part the reason I drank at 40 days.
I think mostly its because I feel/felt that yes I have a drink problem, I know that because of my bank balance, my bowel movements (sorry but it's true), my health in general, the huge stack of cans I was crushing once a week to recycle.
But also I have never hit rock bottom either, I lost a job because I didn't turn up when i was hungover, but really I wasn't that into the job so no biggie (my mind says), so technically it was just a bad habit, like smoking, isn't good for me but I enjoy it.
I have said it before its as though I have stopped doing my favourite hobby and its tough to celebrate when I have to work so hard not to do what I want to do.
Anywho that's that, and really all lies, if I sit and truly think about it, which I don't because that would be hard too, then I realise lots of things have been ruined because of my drinking, my mental health for one, friendships, aforementioned financials. Ect ect
Ultimately i don't know, maybe that's just how it will always be, a knife edge of knowing and wanting. Maybe we just have to accept that, and in doing so we live the next 30 years being recovering alcoholics, or not, depending on which bit cuts you most.
AoS
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
I'm reading this book on positive psychology and it had a test in it to determine if I have an optimistic or pessimistic way of looking at life and its challenges. I'm freaking average! Really? Me?? I was floored. I was so surprised I took it again. Same results. Also said I had moderately low self esteem. At first I was a little taken but then I figure most people are probably average. I also then figured it's as good a place as any to start from.
I'm reading it because I do believe that there is something to pessimism and depression and etc etc. Plus, it's just more fun being an optimist and it just sounds like something I would rather be. I know it doesn't make life easier but it sure helps me bounce back faster so I'm giving it a try. The test showed I'm very optimistic about positive situations but not so much when life throws a hard one at me. Hmmmm.
However, I have to be honest. I can see how the way I sometimes look at things falls into the half empty glass category. I am really working on this. If for no other reason than it's interesting to me. So I'm working on my thoughts. Guess what. Now that I'm paying attention. It's not about how life kicks you down because it does that to everyone but how soon you get back up. I want to be faster at getting up. I also want to be better prepared and have some tools because I know there will be a day when I want to say screw it all and I also know where that can lead to. Best to be prepared I think.
I don't know where that all came from. Just sitting here drinking my coffee and thinking.
Welcome Bruce! Tell us about yourself if you are up to it.
Hey Snaggle! Just hi
Glad you are here.
I'm marking my calendar for Wednesday Sassy so I can send get well quick X-ray vibes your way for an in and out surgery.
AoS, I wish I could help you feel better. You have worked so hard and deserve a break from those feelings. You have worked really hard!
I'm reading it because I do believe that there is something to pessimism and depression and etc etc. Plus, it's just more fun being an optimist and it just sounds like something I would rather be. I know it doesn't make life easier but it sure helps me bounce back faster so I'm giving it a try. The test showed I'm very optimistic about positive situations but not so much when life throws a hard one at me. Hmmmm.
However, I have to be honest. I can see how the way I sometimes look at things falls into the half empty glass category. I am really working on this. If for no other reason than it's interesting to me. So I'm working on my thoughts. Guess what. Now that I'm paying attention. It's not about how life kicks you down because it does that to everyone but how soon you get back up. I want to be faster at getting up. I also want to be better prepared and have some tools because I know there will be a day when I want to say screw it all and I also know where that can lead to. Best to be prepared I think.
I don't know where that all came from. Just sitting here drinking my coffee and thinking.
Welcome Bruce! Tell us about yourself if you are up to it.
Hey Snaggle! Just hi
Glad you are here.I'm marking my calendar for Wednesday Sassy so I can send get well quick X-ray vibes your way for an in and out surgery.
AoS, I wish I could help you feel better. You have worked so hard and deserve a break from those feelings. You have worked really hard!
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 108
Originally Posted by joygirl 
Troae, may I ask what that name means?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3947299
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Brit in Canada
Posts: 173
Morning all
Just checking in, very busy at the moment so no time to dally...
Long weekend just gone at the in-laws - usually an alcohol sodden affair, this time I slipped to a single glass of wine, not getting myself hung up over it, it was something of a disappointment as others have mentioned when they've tried...
Everything seems to be on the up, clarity of thought, actually getting stuff done all the time is really good. No depressions, no more dreams (of drinking)...
Welcome to the new Marchers - seems quite a few since I was last here, skimming the thread - congrats to Panache on driving test and to Mr B for the submission of the dissertation... Now id Newcastle can halt their free fall... Erm...
Stay strong everyone!
Just checking in, very busy at the moment so no time to dally...
Long weekend just gone at the in-laws - usually an alcohol sodden affair, this time I slipped to a single glass of wine, not getting myself hung up over it, it was something of a disappointment as others have mentioned when they've tried...
Everything seems to be on the up, clarity of thought, actually getting stuff done all the time is really good. No depressions, no more dreams (of drinking)...
Welcome to the new Marchers - seems quite a few since I was last here, skimming the thread - congrats to Panache on driving test and to Mr B for the submission of the dissertation... Now id Newcastle can halt their free fall... Erm...
Stay strong everyone!
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
[QUOTE=joygirl;3948172]
Toots, I too sometimes miss my poison, at least the way it made me feel good, before it made me feel so awful. Maybe we actually need to go through the stages of grief: denial, blame, anger, depression, acceptance. Especially if it was a long, complicated relationship. Mine was.
This is exactly what I was trying to get across, I don't want, don't need don't care to have more alcohol, I just need to go through the grieving process my way and in my time, allowing accepting and feeling the emotions that this engenders
Thank you Joygirl x
Toots, I too sometimes miss my poison, at least the way it made me feel good, before it made me feel so awful. Maybe we actually need to go through the stages of grief: denial, blame, anger, depression, acceptance. Especially if it was a long, complicated relationship. Mine was.
This is exactly what I was trying to get across, I don't want, don't need don't care to have more alcohol, I just need to go through the grieving process my way and in my time, allowing accepting and feeling the emotions that this engenders
Thank you Joygirl x
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Toots, I "get it" about needing to mourn. If we don't mourn when we need to, it can come back to bite us later.
Shoes, thanks for the well wishes! So many people have sent me great wishes for Wednesday that I feel much less scared.
S
Shoes, thanks for the well wishes! So many people have sent me great wishes for Wednesday that I feel much less scared.
S
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: American in the UK
Posts: 235
Originally Posted by tootsl1
BP hope things are going well with you?
To be honest, I've been feeling pretty sick - so called 'morning' sickness which has been fairly constant morning, noon and night. To me it feels kind of like being on a rocking boat almost 24/7 - with a headache thrown in for kicks. But emotionally I'm feeling positive - 9 weeks sober today, and 6 weeks pregnant tomorrow!
Just midway through catching up on a few pages of posts now.
Joygirl, I hope you're feeling better today! Either way, let us know....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: American in the UK
Posts: 235
Joygirl, just saw that you are feeling better - that's so good to hear! Love your Norah Jones CD idea for taming teenagers! My daughter's five and she's really into 'gentle' music as she calls it. She listened to Eva Cassidy on repeat all night last night.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 141
Saskia - Isn't it great when you're getting through something really tough, like an exhausting week, and you realize you can handle it? I'm not quite there with my sobriety yet, but I've had that experience during workouts and it's fabulous. Having those tough weeks and making it through really brings home how far you're coming in sobriety. Congrats! Not sure on what kind of surgery you're having. I had some laproscopic surgery back in December. Things went ok, but recovery was still no fun. PM me if you want to talk about it if you don't want to share openly. I'm not prying, just offering.
Toots - Congrats on 50 days! Oh, trust me, I was crying plenty in therapy. By trying not to cry, I meant sob uncontrollably. I don't like to do that because it makes me feel really awful and sick and I feel like it's counterproductive. I had a pile of tissues on my lap by the end of my session. I go back on Tuesday. I never know what to talk about in therapy. I feel like so much has happened to me in my life, good, bad, ugly. Am I supposed to sort through all of it? How do I know what's relevant? I'm glad you're ok with the bittersweetness of the anniversary of not drinking. I get what you're saying. Booze was ALWAYS there for me when I had a rough day. Helped bring those shoulders down for me so that I could relax. I quit because drinking every night (not to get blotto, but to make sure all the squirrels in my head were sufficiently quiet) wasn't healthy. Not because I got an OUI or my husband was going to leave me, or because I woke up on the lawn, but because I saw the slippery slope that I was headed down and realized I didn't have to wait for those "yets." I'm not sure on your story, and how high your bottom was, but I think that my higher bottom makes it harder, because booze hadn't really cheated on my yet, he was just a one trick pony who I knew deep down was a loser not worth marrying.
Troae - Thank goodness you don't think you're the Troae. I thought picking that as your screen name, that was what you were taking on as your identity. I've NEVER been good at interpretting poetry! LOL! So maybe there's been no good in you up to this point. I don't know you, that could be the case. But as the song says "but that was yesterday, and yesterday's gone." What's the new plan? Sounds like you've got a list of wants for your new persona. That's a start.
360shoes - I'm having some heart issues now that I stopped drinking. I also had them right after my pregnancies (the only other time that I've been sober for an extended period of time in recent history). I was belly-aching to my primary the other day that getting sober was supposed to make me healthy! Don't know about you, but I think I consider myself pessimistic, not because I'm actually pessimistic, I'm probaby average, but because I'm such a crazy perfectionist that because I'm not exploding rainbows everywhere I go, I must be a pessimist. Thoughts on that?
Snaggle - Good for you for bucking up and deciding not to drink tonight! I'm glad hubby is on board as well. I heard a great saying the other day, and I'm sure I'm getting it wrong, but it was something to the effect of "The drink of choice for a wet drunk is booze, the drink of choice for dry drunk is self-pity." If you fall into the "poor me, my inlaws are the devil trap" you are one step away from drinking. Try the mind shift of "thank goodness I'm NOT my pathetic drunk inlaws" maybe that'll help. Good luck tonight!
Bruce292 - Welcome!
joygirl - music is awesome. Hubby and I played Rock Band on the Wii last night. Definitely helped boost my spirits. Glad to see you feeling better. I love Alanis Morrisette when I'm feeling in a rotten mood, but I have to be careful because it feeds the squirrels.
bepresent - congrats on 6 wks of pregancy! sorry about the all day sickness. I hated being pregnant.
Like Troae said and chuff1 related too, I too want to shut off the thoughts in my head and live in the here and now. Just shut off the constant chatter in my brain. My avatar is currently a squirrel because my sponsor calls those thoughts in my head that just race around "squirrels." I found a funny looking one on line so that I can laugh when I see it and remind myself to stay out of my head. Yesterday's Step Meeting was Step 3 (which I don't get at all yet), but what I did hear in the discussion afterwards was a general notion that we have to "stop thinking so much." So that's what I took from yesterday's meeting.
I'll check back later!
Toots - Congrats on 50 days! Oh, trust me, I was crying plenty in therapy. By trying not to cry, I meant sob uncontrollably. I don't like to do that because it makes me feel really awful and sick and I feel like it's counterproductive. I had a pile of tissues on my lap by the end of my session. I go back on Tuesday. I never know what to talk about in therapy. I feel like so much has happened to me in my life, good, bad, ugly. Am I supposed to sort through all of it? How do I know what's relevant? I'm glad you're ok with the bittersweetness of the anniversary of not drinking. I get what you're saying. Booze was ALWAYS there for me when I had a rough day. Helped bring those shoulders down for me so that I could relax. I quit because drinking every night (not to get blotto, but to make sure all the squirrels in my head were sufficiently quiet) wasn't healthy. Not because I got an OUI or my husband was going to leave me, or because I woke up on the lawn, but because I saw the slippery slope that I was headed down and realized I didn't have to wait for those "yets." I'm not sure on your story, and how high your bottom was, but I think that my higher bottom makes it harder, because booze hadn't really cheated on my yet, he was just a one trick pony who I knew deep down was a loser not worth marrying.
Troae - Thank goodness you don't think you're the Troae. I thought picking that as your screen name, that was what you were taking on as your identity. I've NEVER been good at interpretting poetry! LOL! So maybe there's been no good in you up to this point. I don't know you, that could be the case. But as the song says "but that was yesterday, and yesterday's gone." What's the new plan? Sounds like you've got a list of wants for your new persona. That's a start.
360shoes - I'm having some heart issues now that I stopped drinking. I also had them right after my pregnancies (the only other time that I've been sober for an extended period of time in recent history). I was belly-aching to my primary the other day that getting sober was supposed to make me healthy! Don't know about you, but I think I consider myself pessimistic, not because I'm actually pessimistic, I'm probaby average, but because I'm such a crazy perfectionist that because I'm not exploding rainbows everywhere I go, I must be a pessimist. Thoughts on that?
Snaggle - Good for you for bucking up and deciding not to drink tonight! I'm glad hubby is on board as well. I heard a great saying the other day, and I'm sure I'm getting it wrong, but it was something to the effect of "The drink of choice for a wet drunk is booze, the drink of choice for dry drunk is self-pity." If you fall into the "poor me, my inlaws are the devil trap" you are one step away from drinking. Try the mind shift of "thank goodness I'm NOT my pathetic drunk inlaws" maybe that'll help. Good luck tonight!
Bruce292 - Welcome!
joygirl - music is awesome. Hubby and I played Rock Band on the Wii last night. Definitely helped boost my spirits. Glad to see you feeling better.
I love Alanis Morrisette when I'm feeling in a rotten mood, but I have to be careful because it feeds the squirrels. bepresent - congrats on 6 wks of pregancy! sorry about the all day sickness. I hated being pregnant.
Like Troae said and chuff1 related too, I too want to shut off the thoughts in my head and live in the here and now. Just shut off the constant chatter in my brain. My avatar is currently a squirrel because my sponsor calls those thoughts in my head that just race around "squirrels." I found a funny looking one on line so that I can laugh when I see it and remind myself to stay out of my head. Yesterday's Step Meeting was Step 3 (which I don't get at all yet), but what I did hear in the discussion afterwards was a general notion that we have to "stop thinking so much." So that's what I took from yesterday's meeting.
I'll check back later!
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,168
BP sorry to hear about the sickness, my daughter had it really bad, and was told the sicker you are the hairier the baby! We had visions of a 'cousin It' popping out!!! Lol
I love the purity of Eva Cassidys voice, what a loss.
Must love... Can I just call you squirrel??? He is such a cutie! We still have red squirrels around us though they are rare. Like you, I never bottomed out, I had seen what happened with my ex husband, realised what I was risking, and realised I had a choice.
Snags, good luck tonight.
I love the purity of Eva Cassidys voice, what a loss.
Must love... Can I just call you squirrel??? He is such a cutie! We still have red squirrels around us though they are rare. Like you, I never bottomed out, I had seen what happened with my ex husband, realised what I was risking, and realised I had a choice.
Snags, good luck tonight.
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