Class of April 2013 Part 3
capra laeviculus
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: German Village, OH
Posts: 3,427
Originally Posted by HML 
Lost my **** today -- anger is almost as familiar as the wine -- over a bunch of little things that just added up and I seemed out of control emotionally, and it's only Day 4 AND a Thursday (favorite weekday drinking night, especially on those "I'm being good" weeks when I abstain Monday to Wednesday. Sigh -- gotta make it thru tonight and the weekend. I just HAVE to!!
But... I wasn't going to post about it because I did not even think about drinking as a result. I think my new found program is working. Instead of thinking about drowning it, I (without thinking) made a plan to address the roughness and smooth the road for the future.
I hope you can move past this "I hope I can make it through" phase soon. I know I have been there many times, and it sucks. Hang in there and it will get easier, especially if you have a plan and stick to it!
I realize I sound sophomoric... I mean, I'm only 9 days sober... but when I felt like you do now it was before I had a solid plan that I was sticking to.
capra laeviculus
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: German Village, OH
Posts: 3,427
thanks Dee, but I'm just having one of those days. Here's an example... 5 minutes ago I backed my wife's truck into the garage... and took the side mirror off!
It's been like this all day!
It's been like this all day!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 94
Checking in on day 23.
*Most* symptoms are gone and I feel much better.
Even the crankiness is less frequent.
Everything in the past 23 days, all the rough days, are very well worth it.
Hang in there, everyone. I'm praying for all of us.
*Most* symptoms are gone and I feel much better.
Even the crankiness is less frequent.
Everything in the past 23 days, all the rough days, are very well worth it.
Hang in there, everyone. I'm praying for all of us.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: London, UK
Posts: 148
Hi all! Hope you are well. First of all I'd like to thank everyone who's so kindly responded to threads and my calls for help and support since signing up to SR. 16 days sober (after a relapse on April 9) and I couldn't have done it without you.
I haven't been posting a lot here over the past few days, and I feel bad for not responding to some of the nice things people have written on here and for not being able to offer support to others. I am sorry about this. I hope to get more active ones things are more stable.
I am feeling constantly tired and I find it hard to focus on the simplest tasks - problems with concentration have escalated over the years and right now I find it especially hard. Feel restless, somehow scared of being left alone with my thoughts (bedtime is particularly hard), but try to keep myself active doing things that give me positive energy (swimming, walking, playing music, singing, dancing, drawing...)
From staying away from coffee (as it would make my heart beat too fast when drinking alcohol, sometimes causing feelings of panic and physical and mental discomfort) I am now drinking three cups a day. I am aware I may be switching one addiction for another, but at least I've stayed away from cigarettes (which I used to smoke like a chain smoker - when drinking) Coffee still makes me feel a little jittery, but not as bad as it would when I was drinking. What are your thoughts on increased coffee consumption when quitting drinking? Somehow coffee gives me that feeling that I have a "little something"; little "pickmeup" and reward to look forward to.
Big hugs to all of you x
I haven't been posting a lot here over the past few days, and I feel bad for not responding to some of the nice things people have written on here and for not being able to offer support to others. I am sorry about this. I hope to get more active ones things are more stable.
I am feeling constantly tired and I find it hard to focus on the simplest tasks - problems with concentration have escalated over the years and right now I find it especially hard. Feel restless, somehow scared of being left alone with my thoughts (bedtime is particularly hard), but try to keep myself active doing things that give me positive energy (swimming, walking, playing music, singing, dancing, drawing...)
From staying away from coffee (as it would make my heart beat too fast when drinking alcohol, sometimes causing feelings of panic and physical and mental discomfort) I am now drinking three cups a day. I am aware I may be switching one addiction for another, but at least I've stayed away from cigarettes (which I used to smoke like a chain smoker - when drinking) Coffee still makes me feel a little jittery, but not as bad as it would when I was drinking. What are your thoughts on increased coffee consumption when quitting drinking? Somehow coffee gives me that feeling that I have a "little something"; little "pickmeup" and reward to look forward to.
Big hugs to all of you x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 127
Hi there everyone, well its been a few days since I last checked in and its taken me ages catching up with everyones posts phew!!! So Im on day 23 here and doing kinda ok i guess. Went back to work at the weekend (after 5 months) and have been working long shifts all week, (im an RN for all the newbies) hence the just checking in today. Work has provided the biggest challenge ever, thanks to everyone who posted words of support. I very nearly wobbled on Tuesday. I was in the walk in drug cupboard getting medication for a patient and the opiates were glaring out at me from the shelf, I could easily have slipped some in my pocket but reminded myself that if I was caught I would be struck off the professional register, and would shame my husband (who is a Cardiologist in the same hospital, for those who dont know me) I didnt wobble, but now im worried that neither of my reasons for not taking them related to my WANTING to be sober, hmmm. I did call the NA helpline last week and spoke to a lovely girl who offered to meet me and take me to a meeting she chairs, she has a little 3 year old too and it seemed we had a lot in common. I havnt taken her up on it yet. She gave me her mobile number so im thinking i should call her, im feeling vulnerable. I think I need to stop kidding myself that I can handle this alone, cause I dont think I can.
On a positive note, we have open house/viewings again this weekend, and the weather forcast is good (it poured with rain the last time) im praying someone falls in love with the house cause I cannot stand the guilt and shame that my poor husband is so stressed working all the hours God sends because of our financial problems which are predominently of my making. Im so lucky he loves me so much. We'v been invited to a dinner and the theatre tomorrow night by friends. It would be nice but to be quite honest even though they have the theatre tickets already, we are not in a financial place where we can afford to go out for lavish dinners. As we both have good jobs (especially hubby) and a big house , kids at private catholic school etc people of course do not know this, we turn things down with a whole variety of convoluted excuses!! Funny isnt it, we look like this imaculate family with a charmed lifestyle, little do people know we are in mortgage arrears, car arrears, credit card arrears, 2 terms (semesters) behind with school fees and the eminent Cardiologist's wife is a drug addict!!! LOL ..Guess you have to see the funny side right. I think I'm hysterical, im having one of those days. The other reason going will be difficult of course is that everyone will be drinking.
Ladybug2, so sorry about your wobble hun, glad your back with us...your an April=ite, hang in there girl. Im with you, this is tough tough. It was a beautiful day yesterday and I wanted nothing last night but to sit in the garden with a glass of wine, but I know if I drink I'l start replacing the pills with alcohol.
Mustlovecoffee love your new avatar.
Silverotter well done on finishing the medical detox, I finished mine day 6/7 and it felt like such an achievement (note: i must focus on that) good for you
Well its my day off and I have 101 things to do so guess I better get on!
Hope everyone has a good sober Friday night & weekend ahead. Hugs everyone xx
On a positive note, we have open house/viewings again this weekend, and the weather forcast is good (it poured with rain the last time) im praying someone falls in love with the house cause I cannot stand the guilt and shame that my poor husband is so stressed working all the hours God sends because of our financial problems which are predominently of my making. Im so lucky he loves me so much. We'v been invited to a dinner and the theatre tomorrow night by friends. It would be nice but to be quite honest even though they have the theatre tickets already, we are not in a financial place where we can afford to go out for lavish dinners. As we both have good jobs (especially hubby) and a big house , kids at private catholic school etc people of course do not know this, we turn things down with a whole variety of convoluted excuses!! Funny isnt it, we look like this imaculate family with a charmed lifestyle, little do people know we are in mortgage arrears, car arrears, credit card arrears, 2 terms (semesters) behind with school fees and the eminent Cardiologist's wife is a drug addict!!! LOL ..Guess you have to see the funny side right. I think I'm hysterical, im having one of those days. The other reason going will be difficult of course is that everyone will be drinking.
Ladybug2, so sorry about your wobble hun, glad your back with us...your an April=ite, hang in there girl. Im with you, this is tough tough. It was a beautiful day yesterday and I wanted nothing last night but to sit in the garden with a glass of wine, but I know if I drink I'l start replacing the pills with alcohol.
Mustlovecoffee love your new avatar.
Silverotter well done on finishing the medical detox, I finished mine day 6/7 and it felt like such an achievement (note: i must focus on that) good for you
Well its my day off and I have 101 things to do so guess I better get on!
Hope everyone has a good sober Friday night & weekend ahead. Hugs everyone xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 33
My day 4 was pretty rough too. All over the place emotionally. One of those what could go wrong did go wrong like goat was saying. This will be day 5 and hope it goes better than yesterday. And first weekend coming up since I stopped drinking... ugh.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Day 18 starting here.
I have a busy planned ahead... and since I have commitments to others, there is no getting out of any of it. I actually prepared yesterday and stocked-up on some healthy snacks so I won't end up starving and cravey while I'm trying to get stuff done.
Hope everyone has a great day.
I have a busy planned ahead... and since I have commitments to others, there is no getting out of any of it. I actually prepared yesterday and stocked-up on some healthy snacks so I won't end up starving and cravey while I'm trying to get stuff done.
Hope everyone has a great day.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 42
Originally Posted by muskrats21
My day 4 was pretty rough too. All over the place emotionally. One of those what could go wrong did go wrong like goat was saying. This will be day 5 and hope it goes better than yesterday. And first weekend coming up since I stopped drinking... ugh.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
Originally Posted by muskrats21
My day 4 was pretty rough too. All over the place emotionally. One of those what could go wrong did go wrong like goat was saying. This will be day 5 and hope it goes better than yesterday. And first weekend coming up since I stopped drinking... ugh.
We CAN do it if we keep at it! Hang in there and hope you keep checking in. I know I will... if not to post, then to read and appreciate all that I have and learn ways to make it to long-term sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
Originally Posted by HML
Looks like we are tracking paths -- this is my day 5, too, and I fear the weekend. I'm busy formulating my plan -- filling every waking minute with (hopefully) fun things to do. The only obstacle I see is that I have plans with hubby for dinner & a movie Sat. nite.
We can do it, and YES ... checking in here will help. I'm looking forward to a terrific Monday morning, as well, HML!
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