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Class of April 2013 Part 3

Old 05-04-2013, 06:31 PM
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I'm also on welfare Johnny. I'm not ashamed of it - my physical condition is not good - especially as the years go on.

from the time my body really started letting me down at age 30 until I got sober at 40, I let events overrun me.

at 40 I got into recovery and retook control of my life - my life is still a lot of ups and downs, it's still often hard, all the bad stuff that happened to me still happened to me....but I respond to it all differently now.

I'm interested in everyone's stories and in your story too - I know others here are, as well - anytime you'd like to share, and however much

D
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Old 05-04-2013, 07:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I'm interested in everyone's stories and in your story too - I know others here are, as well - anytime you'd like to share, and however much
Ditto. Post away Johnny!

Funny that you're talking about bikes and tents too... I like to go motorcycle camping in the summertime... Kinda combines two interests that represent freedom to me
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Old 05-04-2013, 08:21 PM
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Tired roosta checking in on the night of day 6.

Passed a big sobriety test tonight...I'm off tomorrow, just got paid and my husband is coming home next week. That's usually the trifecta of doom for me.

I didn't even think about stopping at the store :-) No bargaining, no AV, nothing. Not taking it for granted though. Keeping up my plan.

Goodnight everyone. May you all stay safe and sober tonight. Thank you for being here, every one of you brings something to SR and that's the reason I come here everyday. <3

So sorry about your grandfather, Scout. My thoughts are with you.

roosta
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Old 05-04-2013, 09:02 PM
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Tonight wasn't much fun. Family visiting from out of town and ended up at this bar/restaurant that used to be one of the places we'd go on occasion. Everybody was drinking but me. They were so busy drinking they couldn't figure out what they wanted to eat and sent the waiter away and I was SO starving and starting to feel really PAWSy. I'm just glad it's all over. Glad I didn't drink.


Scoutie: sending hugs your way
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Old 05-04-2013, 09:34 PM
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Originally Posted by DG0409 View Post
They were so busy drinking they couldn't figure out what they wanted to eat and sent the waiter away and I was SO starving and starting to feel really PAWSy. I'm just glad it's all over. Glad I didn't drink.
I'm glad you didn't drink too. Reminds me of how selfish I am when I'm drinking. It was very nice of them to provide an example of what we're trying not to be :-D
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Old 05-05-2013, 05:01 AM
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Originally Posted by Mallard666 View Post
Please let me no if you have any look with the temper, I to am like that lately, funny enough an day 28 to hopefully it's just a stage were at
Mallard and DG re: angry face during recovery:

I sometimes think that what we call "PAWS" is just life. You get sober, you start to have a whole range of emotions including confusion and anger and frustration. Normal people feel those emotions too. As a drunk, I was able to drown these emotions and not really deal with them.

The idea of PAWS is reassuring: That it's just leftovers from being an alcoholic, and this too shall pass. PAWS or not, it WILL pass. That's life.

As St. Johnny Rotten once said, "Anger is an energy."
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Old 05-05-2013, 05:27 AM
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Hi all, hope you're doing well! Scout, I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you're doing OK under the circumstances.

Have been a bit off the radar the past week. Had a slip last Saturday and was feeling very depressed and anxious. But this morning, unlike last Sunday, I woke up without a hungover, which felt wonderful - especially considering I had dinner yesterday with a bunch of very thirsty Swedes last night...

I was a bit nervous that friends would ask why I wasn't drinking, and that they would try to convince me to drink, but was saved by the hostess of the party who served the drinks in green tinted glasses, so while they were having champagne and white wine no one could see I was having sparkling water and still water...

Also, it was nice to realise that while I felt very tense in the beginning about being social without drinking I enjoyed the conversations more and was able to relax eventually. It felt quite good to be the sober person actually, and to leave when people were starting to get drunk.

While other people might not have the same problems with alcohol that I do, it is a little sad how we rely so much on it to open up and enjoy ourselves, in Sweden at least. It is a society with so much repression, so much surface, and the contrast between the everyday Swede and the weekend Swede is so stark that none of them feels genuine. It creates a lot of tension and stress when people are being so controlled on one hand and so out of control on the other. I've had a really hard time dealing with this tension. I feel relieved to not try to escape it by drinking.

Thank you all for being so inspiring!
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Old 05-05-2013, 05:33 AM
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So sorry to hear about your grandfather, Scout.
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Old 05-05-2013, 05:51 AM
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Sorry for your loss, Scout. Hang in there.

This afternoon I'll be picking up my second and last 30 day chip at AA. Here's to small victories.
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Old 05-05-2013, 06:12 AM
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Originally Posted by AnotherPaul View Post
Sorry for your loss, Scout. Hang in there.

This afternoon I'll be picking up my second and last 30 day chip at AA. Here's to small victories.
Congratulations! Well done!!
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Old 05-05-2013, 07:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Sobreia View Post
Also, it was nice to realise that while I felt very tense in the beginning about being social without drinking I enjoyed the conversations more and was able to relax eventually. It felt quite good to be the sober person actually, and to leave when people were starting to get drunk.

-----------

While other people might not have the same problems with alcohol that I do, it is a little sad how we rely so much on it to open up and enjoy ourselves, in Sweden at least. It is a society with so much repression, so much surface, and the contrast between the everyday Swede and the weekend Swede is so stark that none of them feels genuine. It creates a lot of tension and stress when people are being so controlled on one hand and so out of control on the other. I've had a really hard time dealing with this tension. I feel relieved to not try to escape it by drinking.

Thank you all for being so inspiring!
Thanks for the insight into the cultural difference, Sobreia... very interesting about the tension.

I'm finally beginning to relax and enjoy conversations more when out with my family/friends and not drinking. It's gotten to the point, for me at least, that it's easier when I'm out than when I'm at home. Don't know why.

Congratulations on making it another week. Glad we both came back despite slipping. I have to believe that if we refuse to give up we'll finally find happiness and success.
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Old 05-05-2013, 07:24 AM
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Originally Posted by roosta View Post
I didn't even think about stopping at the store :-) No bargaining, no AV, nothing. Not taking it for granted though. Keeping up my plan.


Good for you, Roosta!!!! Following your lead and have a plan for today, myself.
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Old 05-05-2013, 07:57 AM
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Originally Posted by NewLeaf View Post

Thanks for the insight into the cultural difference, Sobreia... very interesting about the tension.

I'm finally beginning to relax and enjoy conversations more when out with my family/friends and not drinking. It's gotten to the point, for me at least, that it's easier when I'm out than when I'm at home. Don't know why.

Congratulations on making it another week. Glad we both came back despite slipping. I have to believe that if we refuse to give up we'll finally find happiness and success.
Thank you so much New Leaf!! I am also glad we are both back. I'd like to think getting back again after a slip is a sign of really wanting to change. I've received some really good advice, and wonderful support, this week. Together, we can do this.

I am not (yet) in AA but read how they describe themselves as a big family, how people can find understanding and support that transcends borders and cultures. Of course, it is sad that we are all suffering from this disease and that this is what joins us together, yet I find it really beautiful and encouraging to see the kindness and compassion shared on this site.

One thought I've found helpful, which another SR member shared with me, is to commit to recovery rather than to "not drinking", recovery encompassing many things in addition to sobriety. I tell myself in the morning: today I will be kind to myself. One day at the time.

Hugs,
S
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Old 05-05-2013, 08:34 AM
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How many Punk Rockers and Metal fans are there in this group?? Haha! Johnny Rotten is still my hero. He is brutally honest, and just doesn't care what anyone thinks. I get compared to him in many respects. I'm always going off about some injustice. I would be a great lawyer. I have no intention of dropping that part of myself for sobriety. If anything I want it to become stronger and more pointed with my sobriety.

The people around here are really aware of this illness for the most part. I am proud of CT for our politics, awareness and high standards of education. My friends, are very progressive, and will change the venue where we meet to a coffee shop or sushi place, and warn me if there is a possibility of people drinking at a certain event. Booze culture rules for social and business activities though. And that is a handicap. But in the 17 years I've been drinking, I never, got a job, or a decent girlfriend from those social gatherings. I did make a lot of good friends who will always be loyal to me though.

I'll think about posting my story, I wrote a lot and I'm sure it is riddled with typos. I'm a writer and and artist, not an editor. That's someone else's job. There are things I want to add, but the general idea is there, so I'll drop the perfectionism. For now I can PM Goat and Anna and then maybe put it out for public spectacle.
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Old 05-05-2013, 09:13 AM
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Bumping this thread for Daisyboo to join
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Old 05-05-2013, 10:16 AM
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Scoutie - Sorry about your loss. My thoughts are with you.

Goat - sobriety and work. That seems like Keeping it Simple to me. Hopefully it's a nice week. :-)

Johnny - I'd love to read your story. Whatever you want to share.

Roosta - Congrats to you on passing that big test, I'm glad the AV took it easy on you. Coming up on a week! Keep it up!

DG - Good for you on making it through dinner. How sloppy of them to keep sending the waiter away. Maybe next time you go out with them order an appetizer! LOL

bookpunk - Interesting theory on the feelings of PAWS just being life. I think that's at least partly true. When we were drinking, we swept a ton of stuff under the rug. Could be an anthill worth of stuff, it could be a mountain, but if we're going to be sober, we have to do some house cleaning, and all those emotions under that rug have to go somewhere.

Sobreia - I was thinking about that the other day too. About how sad it was that alcohol was such a social crutch for even people without a drinking problem. Why can't we all let our hair down and have fun with each other without the alcohol to blame not being all prim and proper on. Hurrah on the tinted glasses. Not that anyone wants to need AA, but after going very frequently for the past month, I'm starting to feel grateful that I wound up on the path of alcoholism. I know my dis-ease is in the mind, it's the way that I think about life and the actions I take based on those thoughts. I need recovery to clear my head so that I don't continue with those thoughts. I would have needed that help even if I hadn't picked up the drink, but if I hadn't found the drink, I wouldn't think to look for the type of recovery I'm starting to see that I need. Does that make sense?

AnotherPaul - Congrats on your red chip man!

Had a good day yesterday. Got the garden ready for planting and the house is staying reasonably clean which makes me feel less overwhelmed. We had some friends that are coming over to hang out, they (or really she) is a big drinker doesn't know when to say when for anything (food, drink, whatever) and I was concerned when they called that I was going to be in for an unpleasant evening. But my hubby told them that we had Diet Coke and potatoes (to go with the steaks they were picking up) and if they wanted something more than that to bring it. Low and behold, she just drank into my soda supply. It was a bit shocking, actually, that's the 3rd time we've gotten together with them now since I stopped drinking, which I haven't told them I've quit, and the last two times they were insistant I drink, then commented that I wasn't drinking, and this time it didn't come up at all. What a relief. This was the first time they had the opportunity to corner me on it too, since the other times was a larger crowd (not that it prevented them from pushing booze those times). I was fearing their coming over so much I considered calling my sponsor before they got here. Then I stopped, took a breath, realized I was projecting into the future. Brought myself back to the minute I was in (taking a shower), realized I was ok and my friends might not even mentioned. THEN THEY DIDN'T! Didn't know that life could be easy at times!
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Old 05-05-2013, 11:43 AM
  # 337 (permalink)  
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Hi everyone can I please join? Can I post whenever? I'm new!! Xx
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Old 05-05-2013, 11:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Daisyboo View Post
Hi everyone can I please join? Can I post whenever? I'm new!! Xx
Of course you can! Please do. Welcome and well done for finding your way here. X
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Old 05-05-2013, 12:23 PM
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Ah thanks!! I'm on my first day today, spent a lot of time last night on this website and plan to give it my all!! Been gardening and keeping busy all day, tonight is tough cos its a nice summer evening and I would normally b drinking Pinot in the garden for most of the afternoon! Instead I have been cutting and weeding lol xx
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Old 05-05-2013, 12:24 PM
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Welcome daisyboo!
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