Mallard666

Good going only been 14 days and I have had to change a lot of my behaviours to sop or ease the cravings, still having hell with it sometimes but it passes.
Had a non stop weekend of drink two weeks ago ment I was incapable of having my kids, my son was gutted, that's never gona happen again, our kids arnt kids forever and I want to do as much as I can with them while they still are.
I couldn't do that drunk or hung over, so bring the bad days and nights they can't hurt me as much as it does letting my kids down

Iwantmeback

Hi everyone,
I joined this online forum a while back because I felt like I was drinking too much and I also hid my drinking from everyone. I would wake up and have to pretend I wasn't hungover and drop off my then toddler at daycare and spend a grueling day at work. Of course, 4-5 days later when the hangover and the anxiety was gone, I was at it again. That cycle stopped when I found out I was pregnant and now I have a beautiful baby boy and a 4 year old.

Well for some reason, I thought I could pick up a bottle of wine and have a glass after the kids were asleep. I purchased two bottles because clearly my subconcious had other ideas. I spent Friday night drinking wine by myself. I feel horrible because what if my baby cried for me in the middle of the night? What if I tried to pick him up and tripped? I am still feeling hungover, guilty, unmotivated, anxiety ridden. I should be spending quality time with my children outside on this beautiful day but instead I'm beating myself up for buying that wine and not having any self control. My relationship with my finance has not been good and I guess I was looking at a way to numb the pain. Maybe I'm making excuses because I have a drinking problem.

All I know is that I don't want to drink anymore. Never again in fact. I want to be a great mom to my little boys. I was drinking here and there after the baby but it obviously progressed the other night to sneaking off to the store, getting obliterated and unable to function for days but pretending that I'm doing fine as usual.

I hope that you will have me in the April 2013 class and I look forward to reading your posts.

Mallard666

Another victory my friend

Goat

welcome, Iwantmeback, we're happy to have you! Congratulations on taking that first step to getting yourself back!

Mallard666

Iwantmeback the unconscious mind buying extra drink, we on here all no this,
Glad you have dicided to quit all good will come of it, and everyone here will be with you

NapsteR1

Welcome Iwantmeback, great to have you along

April14

Today is day 2 for me.

Mallard666

Well done on day 2 it was a hard one for me feels like s,,t first few days but your head will be clear soon, keep it up

Mallard666

Well people another weekend over a struggle but am there. It's late here so head down and hopefully sleep for work.
Keep up the good work any good night all

Dee74

I stayed away from alcohol fueled social events for a while silverrotter - it didn't kill me

there's a ton of stuff to do that doesn't involve alcohol - meeting for coffee, going to the movies, pizza/DVD night at home, sport/exercise...

don't hesitate to see a Dr if you feel you need to xMystiquex

welcome April and I wantmeback

great going Mallard Don DG0409 Goat Fruity and Paul

D

Ladybug2

Hi all. Well, I made it to 2 weeks, today is Day 15. It feels good, but I have been rather cranky all weekend. Don't know where this irritability and short fuse is coming from as my mood swings seem to have been getting better. AV isn't really bugging me so maybe I'm just tired? Can't figure it out, but I sure hope it passes soon.

Hope everyone else is enjoying their weekend. Will post more later when I don't feel like throwing my iPad across the room

NapsteR1

Surf the grumpy!

Keeping angry does harm to you and affects nothing else.

(Feeling very Zen on day 20 here ). Have a cyber hug

emilyalice

End of day 13 - no alcohol cravings today but so tired: like all the energy has been sucked out of me. Wish I could just go to bed for week rising only to eat & be less cranky. However, stressful day of work awaits & whatever happens ***i_will_not_drink*** (keep,repeating mantra). Think maybe without the coping mechanism of alcohol its all too much for my battered body/ nervous system and it just wants to shut down and sleep.

Anyway, keeping the faith - living the dream and staying sober (my husband told me I can't be an alcoholic as I've been able to stay off for so,long (2 weeks) and I never drank first thing in the morning). Interesting how extreme it'd have to be for my problem to appear on his radar.

Nite all - post tomorrow no doubt x

4Surf4Life

This is the third monthly group that I have joined... Since first joining last October i have been able to string together some longer patches of sobriety, but I have inevitably slipped back into old ways. There is so much going right in my life now, and I know that my alcohol addiction is the single greatest thing keeping me from taking complete advantage of my situation. All of my biggest goals and dreams are directly hindered by drinking, which in itself has become less and less fun- so, why would I continue.

Some things to do differently this time- I have a new house and new work schedule from the start of this month. I will use this to build different habits and break old ones. I will put visual reminders up in important places to remind me of my commitment. I will continue with my exercise schedule (I am usually very good with this).

Have a great day everyone!

raja12

Well class I made it thru the weekend. 2day was a lousy day tho. But, I didn't drink. If I drank because of how screwed up my life is..........I'd be drunk 24/7 and even more! Learning to let it go. Hard, very hard with my life and current circumstances. But possible.

Goat

Just got done with another great meeting! I asked my wife to drop me off at the meeting on the way down to drop our daughter off at college. I really wish this meeting wasn't three hours from my house -- I'd go every week for sure.

Driving back home in my daughter's muffler-free car... my ears will be ringing tonight

Liza

Day 1 tomorrow, kudos to all doing well!!

Goat

hi Liza! I know you've been having a rough time of it. What are you going to do differently tomorrow to make it work? It's time to make a plan!

DG0409

I even drank in the mornings and my boyfriend never saw it as a problem... really, he'd encourage it pretty much. And if ever I suggested I was an alcoholic and should quit he'd suggest maybe I should just be more responsible about it as if I wasn't already trying that.

One thing somebody told me that really stuck in my head before I quit though was "If you think you have a problem, you probably really do." Somebody on here told me that other people can't see our pain, they can't see how it is for us. They don't understand because they don't feel the same way we do about alcohol. They don't need it.

And way to go on 13 days! I'm on day 13 too.

DG0409

I wish my parents had had to take my car for a drive when I was college... maybe they would have helped me out with something that was safe to drive after that, lol.