Class of February 2013 - part 6
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Eire
Posts: 211
Originally Posted by SereneEdition 
Tammy - Wonderful to hear from you!
Congrats on 2 months & thanks for sharing your honest thoughts. There is so much change - everyday brings different challenges. Would love to hear more of what you've been up to.
Metaphorically, I think thoughts on moderation are akin to plopping my mind in a bar. Just like we have to change our physical patterns, we need to change our mental patterns. Learning to manage thoughts is a skill. One that I'm frankly bad at.
I noticed that you use the word battle & argument. As an experiment, what would shift the thought dialog towards creating a battle free mental environment? I dunno, for me - I just didn't like myself as a drinker. I like myself now. The only thing that has changed about my identity is becoming sober.
I appreciate everyone surfacing their thoughts on moderation - it helped me to realize that I'd like to focus on nurturing my mental sobriety too. Thank you.
Congrats on 2 months & thanks for sharing your honest thoughts. There is so much change - everyday brings different challenges. Would love to hear more of what you've been up to.
Metaphorically, I think thoughts on moderation are akin to plopping my mind in a bar. Just like we have to change our physical patterns, we need to change our mental patterns. Learning to manage thoughts is a skill. One that I'm frankly bad at.
I noticed that you use the word battle & argument. As an experiment, what would shift the thought dialog towards creating a battle free mental environment? I dunno, for me - I just didn't like myself as a drinker. I like myself now. The only thing that has changed about my identity is becoming sober.
I appreciate everyone surfacing their thoughts on moderation - it helped me to realize that I'd like to focus on nurturing my mental sobriety too. Thank you.
Good to hear from you Serene. Thank you for your response. Wow, I never even noticed my choice of words (argue/battle) until you pointed it out. Fascinating stuff!
Just like we have to change our physical patterns, we need to change our mental patterns
Eye opening. Seems obvious, yet I did not think of it that way. I will def be undertaking this experiment. Practicing mindfulness. Remind myself of the drunk me which I don't like.
This is the reason I need more support - to learn new ways of approaching certain obstacles. Thanks again.
Wishing you continued success in your recovery Serene.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,449
Tammy ~ that's exactly it. Every day here, I learn new ways of overcoming obstacles and new ways to approach challenges.
And there is so much compassion. I'm never good enough for me, still have such a long long way to go, and the support and encouragement on SR helps me every single time I log on. Really good to see you!
V xx
And there is so much compassion. I'm never good enough for me, still have such a long long way to go, and the support and encouragement on SR helps me every single time I log on. Really good to see you!
V xx
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Well, didn't sleep much last night... about 4 hours. But I got up and finished the freelance work that I had due. So now I feel nice and accomplished.
I just heard that my uncle will be in town this week. I don't get to see my extended family very often so I'm really excited to finally get the chance to see them when I'm doing well! One of the troubles of living cross country from family is that my non-immediate family usually only sees me in a rush, time-crunched, and either retreating home because I'm sad about something or celebrating with too much to drink. Hooray for new first impressions.
I just heard that my uncle will be in town this week. I don't get to see my extended family very often so I'm really excited to finally get the chance to see them when I'm doing well! One of the troubles of living cross country from family is that my non-immediate family usually only sees me in a rush, time-crunched, and either retreating home because I'm sad about something or celebrating with too much to drink. Hooray for new first impressions.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,632
Fantail - Fantastic on completing a deliverable!
It just occured to me how sleep and creativity are both similar - one can set the right conditions to improve the likelihood that it will happen, but sometimes it can have it's own sense of timing. Have you read the book 'The Creative Habit' by any chance? It's one of my favorites. Enjoy your family time!
Venus - Good morning Melbourne! Glad to hear that the future outlook is sunny and beautiful Hugs
ER Amazing! Congrats!
WeHav - I really appreciate your contribution on variations personal motivation! It's so true - getting clarity on what motivates us is key & knowing what doesn't work on a personal level is just as insightful. Thank you for also reminding me to practice urge surfing. A sticky note reminder in now on my computer.
Something that I'm finding a bit odd is that I can feel my motivations starting to shift. Curious, has anyone else felt this?
Tammy - Thank You! You helped me greatly to get my own thoughts in order. It was eye opening for me too Thanks for your openness and willingness to exchange posts. Curious to hear what comes next.
Big Hi to FF, Star, Dee, Pamel, 1Step, FF, Odelle, MV & readers
It just occured to me how sleep and creativity are both similar - one can set the right conditions to improve the likelihood that it will happen, but sometimes it can have it's own sense of timing. Have you read the book 'The Creative Habit' by any chance? It's one of my favorites. Enjoy your family time!
Venus - Good morning Melbourne! Glad to hear that the future outlook is sunny and beautiful
HugsER Amazing! Congrats!
WeHav - I really appreciate your contribution on variations personal motivation! It's so true - getting clarity on what motivates us is key & knowing what doesn't work on a personal level is just as insightful. Thank you for also reminding me to practice urge surfing. A sticky note reminder in now on my computer.
Something that I'm finding a bit odd is that I can feel my motivations starting to shift. Curious, has anyone else felt this?
Tammy - Thank You! You helped me greatly to get my own thoughts in order. It was eye opening for me too
Thanks for your openness and willingness to exchange posts. Curious to hear what comes next.Big Hi to FF, Star, Dee, Pamel, 1Step, FF, Odelle, MV & readers
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,632
I'm now at 100 Days!
Between 90 - 100 I think I did a sobriety growth spurt.
Highlights: The New "Normal"
I had my first moment where I felt 'me' and 'normal' together at the same time. I didn't realize that I hadn't felt 'me' in perhaps 10 years and I didn't know it (kind of like hearing loss). Apologies it's hard to describe. What's changed is that I now have a new/pre-alcohol feeling of 'normal' that feels more like bedrock that I can calibrate to.
Things I'm still working on: Brain Fog!
Brainfog still isn't clearing. I'm starting a vitamin routine to see if that helps - multi, b-complex, fish oil. I'm also going to make my first visit with a naturalpath. I haven't been to a doctor for 10 years. I'm worth investing in now
Question - Are folks following recovery programs? If so, how have they helped?
Between 90 - 100 I think I did a sobriety growth spurt.
Highlights: The New "Normal"
I had my first moment where I felt 'me' and 'normal' together at the same time. I didn't realize that I hadn't felt 'me' in perhaps 10 years and I didn't know it (kind of like hearing loss). Apologies it's hard to describe. What's changed is that I now have a new/pre-alcohol feeling of 'normal' that feels more like bedrock that I can calibrate to.
Things I'm still working on: Brain Fog!
Brainfog still isn't clearing. I'm starting a vitamin routine to see if that helps - multi, b-complex, fish oil. I'm also going to make my first visit with a naturalpath. I haven't been to a doctor for 10 years. I'm worth investing in now
Question - Are folks following recovery programs? If so, how have they helped?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,449
Congratulations Serene!!!! 100 days is magic! 
Ditto on the "new normal" stuff....it is a lot like having a hearing problem for a very long time, and now I can hear again....nice analogy
Glad you're going to see a naturopath, you can find out if anything is still out of balance.
And you're right, you ARE worth investing in.
Love and hugs,
Venus xx
Ditto on the "new normal" stuff....it is a lot like having a hearing problem for a very long time, and now I can hear again....nice analogy
Glad you're going to see a naturopath, you can find out if anything is still out of balance.
And you're right, you ARE worth investing in.
Love and hugs,
Venus xx
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Serene, congratulations on 100 days!!! Triple digits!!! 
Thank you, that gives me motivation to push past my 90 day worry mark!
As for recovery plans... well, hopefully after Wednesday with this counselor I'll have one!
Originally Posted by SereneEdition
Between 90 - 100 I think I did a sobriety growth spurt.
As for recovery plans... well, hopefully after Wednesday with this counselor I'll have one!
Sober birthday 2/7/13
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 119
Originally Posted by fantail
I'm worried though that it's going to take a relapse for me to really believe that I can't ever drink. That's the only problem with the way this has gone for me so far. I was a complete drunk, and then the first time that I really tried to quit, I've made it to 70 days. It's been hard, but I worry that it wasn't hard enough? Anyone know what I mean? I mean I "stopped" a few times before but gave up stopping about a week in each time. So it's easy for me to feel like "oh, that was then, that was when it was a habit. Now I've broken the habit so I'll be fine."
Even if my AV is right, I can't take that chance. I don't like the odds anymore. I don't like the thought of waking up under my desk at work again. I don't want to feel anxious and out of sorts all day. I don't like the guilt when I forgot something and know it was because I was really just drunk when I thought I was "functioning".
And then after a few of these depressing thoughts, I stop and turn it around...
Even if my AV is right, what benefit does having a drink offer me? What is one good thing that will come from drinking? :::crickets:::
That seems to just stop it all right there for me. I have a problem, or I wouldn't be rationalizing to myself the pros and cons. So today I see no benefit. Tomorrow I'll worry about tomorrow.
And I gotta say, this weekend I have had 2 parties I went to I could easily have had a drink at. Two times I could have "had one" or "tried moderating" or any other reason. And it just had no up-side.
Keep strong everyone~
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Eire
Posts: 211
Originally Posted by venuscat
Tammy ~ that's exactly it. Every day here, I learn new ways of overcoming obstacles and new ways to approach challenges.
And there is so much compassion. I'm never good enough for me, still have such a long long way to go, and the support and encouragement on SR helps me every single time I log on. Really good to see you!
V xx
And there is so much compassion. I'm never good enough for me, still have such a long long way to go, and the support and encouragement on SR helps me every single time I log on. Really good to see you!
V xx
You are good enough for ME, by the way - compassionate and caring is what I see
Always there to support us Feb peeps, doesn't go unnoticed!
x
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Hi guys, having a bit of a strange day today. Still sober, (day 10) after last slip, went back to my home group aa meeting last week and then to one the following day, havent been since though.
Been speaking to my former sponsor most days, and i know i should follow what he says like going to a meeting everyday for first two weeks and reading four pages of the big book, and call him every morning.
I have had problems again with my ex, as i have posted in the past. It honestly feels to me that the more sober and easygoing i am the more i get treated like a doormat. I have mentioned this to my former sponsor and he says to ' see it from her point of view' and 'treat her as if she was on her deathbed', but its hard for me to forget some things that she has put me through that has nothing to do with my drinking.
I know in most cases the alcoholic in any relationship are mostly to blame for bad things that have happenned, and i put my hands up to dissapearing after a row in the past etc. But surely i cant hold myself accountable for everything and the relationship breaking down, there is always two sides to every story. The relationship was built around drink in the early days, but in latter years even when drink was out of the equation it clearly wasnt working, and i know deep down that being sober wont magically 'fix' things and us all live happily ever after.
Get the feeling my former sponsor has the impression that the break up was all down to my drinking and it wasnt.
Just confused i suppose, i do enjoy aa and the meetings, but i do lack assertiveness and self confidence, and am a people pleaser when sober, and im scared that maybe never standing up for myself will make me feel even weaker and more likely to 'take my magic potion' to turn into the drunk me who doesnt have these insecurities and self doubts.
What do you all think?!
Been speaking to my former sponsor most days, and i know i should follow what he says like going to a meeting everyday for first two weeks and reading four pages of the big book, and call him every morning.
I have had problems again with my ex, as i have posted in the past. It honestly feels to me that the more sober and easygoing i am the more i get treated like a doormat. I have mentioned this to my former sponsor and he says to ' see it from her point of view' and 'treat her as if she was on her deathbed', but its hard for me to forget some things that she has put me through that has nothing to do with my drinking.
I know in most cases the alcoholic in any relationship are mostly to blame for bad things that have happenned, and i put my hands up to dissapearing after a row in the past etc. But surely i cant hold myself accountable for everything and the relationship breaking down, there is always two sides to every story. The relationship was built around drink in the early days, but in latter years even when drink was out of the equation it clearly wasnt working, and i know deep down that being sober wont magically 'fix' things and us all live happily ever after.
Get the feeling my former sponsor has the impression that the break up was all down to my drinking and it wasnt.
Just confused i suppose, i do enjoy aa and the meetings, but i do lack assertiveness and self confidence, and am a people pleaser when sober, and im scared that maybe never standing up for myself will make me feel even weaker and more likely to 'take my magic potion' to turn into the drunk me who doesnt have these insecurities and self doubts.
What do you all think?!
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