Class of May 2012 part 19
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
That antibiotic and healing from MRSA finally knocked me out for a couple days. The good thing is I have Oscar to keep me company now. I did manage to get him a new collar, today he gets his new tag if I can find the energy.
One thing I never shared is that when I first moved in he was a moody handful. Between my nasty roommate being his sitter ( she fooled his mom) and being split between two homes it was hard on his little 4 year old self. I worked on making him more people friendly, to recognize commands etc. His old mom* worked in the financial district, that's why she was gone so much. It broke her heart to leave him. She told me how much he had changed for the positive when I came into his life. I think that's why she was ready to give him up. After all she paid me to take him since I wont be sitting him anymore, (money I'm saving toward his food, future vet care, licensing etc.) this whole situation has raised my self-esteem, that much I know.
Also I've been locked away with Delta Machine, the new Depeche Mode album. They are one of my favorite bands. This album really hit it out of the park. I'm funny, the more I like a band, the more I expect from them. So for me to say that you know its really good. Oh, and I've been going over seating charts. One of the members lives here in town so they come and play our little 4000+ outdoor amphitheater on their stadium tours. You can't beat that small atmosphere when everyone else is seeing them at Madison Square Garden and the Arrowhead Pond!
Congrats on all the birthdays this week I missed from both Oscar and me.
*they are fur babies, not items to be owned~ so mom not former owner
One thing I never shared is that when I first moved in he was a moody handful. Between my nasty roommate being his sitter ( she fooled his mom) and being split between two homes it was hard on his little 4 year old self. I worked on making him more people friendly, to recognize commands etc. His old mom* worked in the financial district, that's why she was gone so much. It broke her heart to leave him. She told me how much he had changed for the positive when I came into his life. I think that's why she was ready to give him up. After all she paid me to take him since I wont be sitting him anymore, (money I'm saving toward his food, future vet care, licensing etc.) this whole situation has raised my self-esteem, that much I know.
Also I've been locked away with Delta Machine, the new Depeche Mode album. They are one of my favorite bands. This album really hit it out of the park. I'm funny, the more I like a band, the more I expect from them. So for me to say that you know its really good. Oh, and I've been going over seating charts. One of the members lives here in town so they come and play our little 4000+ outdoor amphitheater on their stadium tours. You can't beat that small atmosphere when everyone else is seeing them at Madison Square Garden and the Arrowhead Pond!
Congrats on all the birthdays this week I missed from both Oscar and me.
*they are fur babies, not items to be owned~ so mom not former owner
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Originally Posted by shockozulu 
*they are fur babies, not items to be owned~ so mom not former owner
It sounds like MRSA really knocked you out but that you are on the mend, which is good to hear.
Will try to post more later. About to head for a meeting.
s
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Hello Mayans,
I finally have a few minutes to post! I'm leaving tomorrow for the Maine coast and I'm still old-fashioned enough to skip taking the cell phone and other gadgets on most trips. So afternoon tomorrow until Sunday afternoon, please don't expect to see me here!
Jane, I think it makes sense that if we are addicted to one thing, we are often addicted to others. Usually it is easier to "rank order" them in terms of importance and if I could do that I would for sure. My own personal experience is that multiple addictions are probably not surprising. I think we focus on alcohol for several reasons - 1. It's difficult to hide, 2. It has nasty physical effects, 3. It can turn lives upside down, etc, etc. cigarettes are in a similar apcategory. We know that they are unhealthy, expensive, a filthy habit, etc. Fortunately I quit that one in 1984 and never went back.
I don't think it's easy for any of us to deal with this addiction.
OLL, thanks so much for your support! I find it hard to share sometimes. I've had so many things happen, I'm not saying more than others but perhaps more than I've been able to handle. When I was having a bad depression recently, I found it helped me to try to stay positive and support others. I know I get frustrated easily and then tend to "blow up", or at least that's what it feels like. I've spent most of my life battling major depressive disorder and have been hospitalized three times for being suicidal. Although I'm past that, it still occasionally haunts me. Life has just never been easy for me and I don't like to spend too much time thinking about it. I know that we all have our challenges. My "theory" is that I doubt that anyone gets much past the age of 50 without having had some amount of major trauma in their lives. Outward appearances can be so deceiving. I also know that there are plenty of people who have been through worse than I have. I don't have any answers and try to be a decent person and get through my life as gracefully as I can. I so much hope for you that you find your passion in life and find peace and happiness. you have so much empathy and common sense that I believe you will be successful and go far!
Jeni, you are so spot on about "we only get one chance at this life. We don't want to spend it 'making do'". -- you have such a wonderful way of distilling things into a short, clear and punchy sentence :-). I know you still have your difficult spells but I am so thrilled to see the progress you make on an almost daily basis!
Shock, you sound like a very kind and caring person. I'm looking forward to more of your posts!
Em, I was rereading your post after Jeni's comments. I can understand what she means by true acceptance. I am certain that you will get through this period in your life and blossom. (((hugs)))
Tanja, you said it so beautifully about this group being a blessing. Everyone is so supportive it feels like we are a family :-)
Kittycat, being in the midst of or about to face layoffs in one's workplace is an incredibly scary and unsettling feeling. I hope you won't be affected but feel badly for these that will be. Thanks for caring!
WeHav, love your attitude on us being dysfunctional! It's true and it's all good
Bloss, I feel like I've been hogging this thread today! How are you doing?
Aviva, how goes with you?
FP, any more outings (sans police) have you and DP been on lately? Or are you too busy with work? Miss your wonderful, zany posts.
Rock buddy, I know you don't have a chance to post much but I do still think very fondly of you!
Lee, you're awesome and I know you do read this thread sometimes.
Everyone have a great evening or whatever time it is where you live!
(((hugs)))
Sassy
I finally have a few minutes to post! I'm leaving tomorrow for the Maine coast and I'm still old-fashioned enough to skip taking the cell phone and other gadgets on most trips. So afternoon tomorrow until Sunday afternoon, please don't expect to see me here!
Jane, I think it makes sense that if we are addicted to one thing, we are often addicted to others. Usually it is easier to "rank order" them in terms of importance and if I could do that I would for sure. My own personal experience is that multiple addictions are probably not surprising. I think we focus on alcohol for several reasons - 1. It's difficult to hide, 2. It has nasty physical effects, 3. It can turn lives upside down, etc, etc. cigarettes are in a similar apcategory. We know that they are unhealthy, expensive, a filthy habit, etc. Fortunately I quit that one in 1984 and never went back.
I don't think it's easy for any of us to deal with this addiction.
OLL, thanks so much for your support! I find it hard to share sometimes. I've had so many things happen, I'm not saying more than others but perhaps more than I've been able to handle. When I was having a bad depression recently, I found it helped me to try to stay positive and support others. I know I get frustrated easily and then tend to "blow up", or at least that's what it feels like. I've spent most of my life battling major depressive disorder and have been hospitalized three times for being suicidal. Although I'm past that, it still occasionally haunts me. Life has just never been easy for me and I don't like to spend too much time thinking about it. I know that we all have our challenges. My "theory" is that I doubt that anyone gets much past the age of 50 without having had some amount of major trauma in their lives. Outward appearances can be so deceiving. I also know that there are plenty of people who have been through worse than I have. I don't have any answers and try to be a decent person and get through my life as gracefully as I can. I so much hope for you that you find your passion in life and find peace and happiness. you have so much empathy and common sense that I believe you will be successful and go far!
Jeni, you are so spot on about "we only get one chance at this life. We don't want to spend it 'making do'". -- you have such a wonderful way of distilling things into a short, clear and punchy sentence :-). I know you still have your difficult spells but I am so thrilled to see the progress you make on an almost daily basis!
Shock, you sound like a very kind and caring person. I'm looking forward to more of your posts!
Em, I was rereading your post after Jeni's comments. I can understand what she means by true acceptance. I am certain that you will get through this period in your life and blossom. (((hugs)))
Tanja, you said it so beautifully about this group being a blessing. Everyone is so supportive it feels like we are a family :-)
Kittycat, being in the midst of or about to face layoffs in one's workplace is an incredibly scary and unsettling feeling. I hope you won't be affected but feel badly for these that will be. Thanks for caring!
WeHav, love your attitude on us being dysfunctional! It's true and it's all good
Bloss, I feel like I've been hogging this thread today! How are you doing?
Aviva, how goes with you?
FP, any more outings (sans police) have you and DP been on lately? Or are you too busy with work? Miss your wonderful, zany posts.
Rock buddy, I know you don't have a chance to post much but I do still think very fondly of you!
Lee, you're awesome and I know you do read this thread sometimes.
Everyone have a great evening or whatever time it is where you live!
(((hugs)))
Sassy
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Good Thursday evening, my cherished boaters! Unfurling a proud flag bearing my latest counts of 320 days sober and 40 days smoke-free! Been a few days (weeks?) since I've been able to throw down a proper post to my beloved friends in sobriety, and I've been saving it up for ya'll, so step aside and let the Mammoth go through... 
Aviva: A warm and hearty welcome to you in joining our stupendous class of Mayans! We are, by far, one of the best, most loving, and most supportive classes on all of SR with an impressive record of loyal longevity to our classmates. Ya done real good in joining us, May mate! A huge honkin' congratulations to you on your phenomenal 10+ months milestone!
iPad G-ma Sas: “...please don't make me give back that awesome pink Lambo with the gold tusks...” Yeah, uh, huh. Gimme! Big hugs of love to you during this transitional period in your life, as you'd mentioned. All we can do is take things as they come and handle them the best way we know how. Thank you for all of your continued support and advice to our gang. And I can relate to your multiple addictions, or cross addictions (replacing one with another.) I mean, how will I ever kick my peanut jones? Have a terrific and safe time in Maine this weekend!
Boss Bloss: Another congrats on your awesome 11+ months, my friend! Thank you for your heartfelt and heart-wrenching post on your past experiences in life and in drinking. You are such a lovely person with so much to offer and you've survived so much pain in your life. Hats off to you for your steady strength of purpose and successful path on sobriety. Hugs and love to you!
Shock-tastic: Big hugs to you on beating back the MRSA, sobermate. Scary stuff, for sure. Awesome that you've adopted Oscar! You'll find many animal lovers in our class, often accompanied with tales/tails of assorted naughty-pet hi-jinx. Sorry to hear that you've had such a rough time with your ex-roommate. Phew that life is giving you the break and peace you deserve now. How wonderful that you have a fortunate furry companion to share it with! Depeche Mode... excellent taste, my friend.
Thursday!!!!: Hey, girlfriend! Noticed a thank-you tag from you to one of our beloved boaters. Wonderful to see you checking in with us again. How goes it with you?
(((SoberJane))): Terrific news that you're getting the meds and help you need to succeed. I am so happy to hear you so happy! The world keeps getting better with your steady strength, sober sis.
WeHav: “...my favorite thing is how we all agree to be dysfunctional!” LOL! You had me rolling off the chair with that clever observation, sobermate! Birds of a feather, we are. Have I ever mentioned that you are truly a hands-down, no-holds-barred, absolutely fantastic peep? With only a few well-written words to all of us, you bring such wisdom and refreshing hilarity with your special turns of phrase. And yes, we most assuredly share the same reverence for our “Higher Pach.” You're doing so well in your steady sobriety! Sorry to hear that work is tough, and I hope the review of your aggravating co-worker brings positive changes. Big snuggy elephant hugs to you!
You-Rock: And how is my solid rocker doing these days? Got plans for that extra money you'd saved up for my bail? Hope you're enjoying a few well-deserved days off, good buddy. And since you'd posted about this awhile back, how are things going for you two in your down time together? Love to you!
Teacher Jeni: Rockin' the spring break, transatlantic sis, yes we are! So nice to have time off from work to relax and recoup. Whatcha got planned? I've got the alarm clock turned off for tomorrow and then it's a week of cleaning up my abode. I can teach the pets how to reach the “on” switch for the vacuum, now I've gotta train 'em to push it around for me, lol! Glad you're in a good place, as you say. Sounds like you'll be throwing down a serious think about your new job. Best wishes to you on whatever decision you make down the road.
(((Tanja))): Giving you big squeezy hugs just because. You are sounding so confident and strong in your sobriety and in your wise decision to move on to another sponsor. Thank you for your continued personal and lovely posts to our boaters, my cherished friend. I especially enjoy the peek into your AA meetings. So interesting to hear the interplay among your members.
Exquisite Emily: Yay that you're back! I was missing you, sober sister. Sharing a laptop is like two people trying to drive the same car, lol! Good deal that you're doing well in counseling. Even if some advice doesn't seem to ring true, you can always keep it in your back pocket to revisit and ponder. I'm generally a people pleaser, too, and often ignore my own needs, so I hear ya on that one. I think it helps to lay it all out on the table, though, to help decipher how we handle situations and why we react the way we do. “...the fear is pretty much gone.” Awesome! You are sounding confident and positive. Big hugs of love to you!
KittyCat: Yay that your Internet is fixed! I thought I'd heard a stray cat scratching at my door, but instead of lapping at the milk dish, sober kitten dashed past me to jump onto my laptop, lol! Big hugs to you on your stressful work situation, my friend. Seems to be a continual issue for many of us. Why can't we all hit the big lottery, tell the jobs to kiss off, and hop on board our Mayan cruise to anywhere for a month? Dreams, dreams...
(((Fun? Yes!!! OneLess))): Excellent that you've started with your therapist and you're ready to plow ahead to do what you need to do for yourself. Big hugs to you for dealing with the work bully. Sheesh, as if work isn't stressful enough sometimes, now you've gotta handle some moron who gets under everyone's skin. Hoping for a swift solution to that issue. Awesome to hear that you're considering making photography your career. One thing I've tried to live by is pursuing my interests when I can so I don't look back in wistful regret. It takes planning and courage to go after what you want, but when the passion is there, the doors to promising opportunities seem to magically fly open. Ok, so now I'm looking for pictures from you, woman, pictures! Lol!
Bionic Lee: Woooo hoooo hoooo hoooo hoooo!!! Congrats on your one-year hydrocodone quit, good buddy! And keep on with your bionic self with your awesome sober strength. Six months is just around the corner... half the year! Thank you for your check-ins, my friend. I always look forward to reading your upbeat posts. Enjoy your well-deserved spring break, too.
Dee: I hope you're feeling better! I was missing you, good buddy. Glad to see you back. Happy Easter to you, too!
And as many of you know by now, my posts are currently filled with plans and details of my budding romance with Date Pach. Can you stand any more gushing? We've been going over different places to visit together and talking up a storm most nights about anything and everything. Even my work demands aren't kicking my butt the same way they used to.
Kinda not too thrilled with my current orchestral group, though. I've discovered that they're very tough on newbies – to the point of public humiliation and verbal + e-mail beration, ouch!- and seem to be very cliquey. I've become so accustomed to the love and support here on SR and in our class specifically, that I can't understand why everyone isn't the same way with each other. Naive, right? That said, I plan to honor my commitment to the orchestra to finish up concerts through the spring, but I'm going to take my strengthened musical experience to another venue in the fall. Got a few options in the queue, so that's cool.
So anyway, is it a knee-jerk response that I'm waiting for my rose-colored glasses to shatter with Date Pach? I'm not wishing it to happen by any means, and I know the glow of newness keeps both of us on our best behavior, but I'm finding it difficult to maintain objectivity in this situation. Relax and enjoy, right? Just let things happen? Wondering if it's my reaction to the years of a bad relationship and my check-out days of drinking. Expecting failure is so familiar to me, even when life is going so well now. Stream of consciousness brain dump today. Just realized how looooooong my post has grown!
Wishing all of you a wonderful weekend and vacation to all who are so blessed! I will be checking in a little more often with this luxurious time off. Keep up the super sober strength, my beautiful friends! Love and hugs to all.
elephants-dressed-up.jpg
Aviva: A warm and hearty welcome to you in joining our stupendous class of Mayans! We are, by far, one of the best, most loving, and most supportive classes on all of SR with an impressive record of loyal longevity to our classmates. Ya done real good in joining us, May mate! A huge honkin' congratulations to you on your phenomenal 10+ months milestone!
iPad G-ma Sas: “...please don't make me give back that awesome pink Lambo with the gold tusks...” Yeah, uh, huh. Gimme!
Big hugs of love to you during this transitional period in your life, as you'd mentioned. All we can do is take things as they come and handle them the best way we know how. Thank you for all of your continued support and advice to our gang. And I can relate to your multiple addictions, or cross addictions (replacing one with another.) I mean, how will I ever kick my peanut jones? Have a terrific and safe time in Maine this weekend!Boss Bloss: Another congrats on your awesome 11+ months, my friend! Thank you for your heartfelt and heart-wrenching post on your past experiences in life and in drinking. You are such a lovely person with so much to offer and you've survived so much pain in your life. Hats off to you for your steady strength of purpose and successful path on sobriety. Hugs and love to you!
Shock-tastic: Big hugs to you on beating back the MRSA, sobermate. Scary stuff, for sure. Awesome that you've adopted Oscar! You'll find many animal lovers in our class, often accompanied with tales/tails of assorted naughty-pet hi-jinx. Sorry to hear that you've had such a rough time with your ex-roommate. Phew that life is giving you the break and peace you deserve now. How wonderful that you have a fortunate furry companion to share it with! Depeche Mode... excellent taste, my friend.
Thursday!!!!: Hey, girlfriend! Noticed a thank-you tag from you to one of our beloved boaters. Wonderful to see you checking in with us again. How goes it with you?
(((SoberJane))): Terrific news that you're getting the meds and help you need to succeed. I am so happy to hear you so happy! The world keeps getting better with your steady strength, sober sis.
WeHav: “...my favorite thing is how we all agree to be dysfunctional!” LOL! You had me rolling off the chair with that clever observation, sobermate! Birds of a feather, we are. Have I ever mentioned that you are truly a hands-down, no-holds-barred, absolutely fantastic peep? With only a few well-written words to all of us, you bring such wisdom and refreshing hilarity with your special turns of phrase.
And yes, we most assuredly share the same reverence for our “Higher Pach.” You're doing so well in your steady sobriety! Sorry to hear that work is tough, and I hope the review of your aggravating co-worker brings positive changes. Big snuggy elephant hugs to you!You-Rock: And how is my solid rocker doing these days? Got plans for that extra money you'd saved up for my bail? Hope you're enjoying a few well-deserved days off, good buddy. And since you'd posted about this awhile back, how are things going for you two in your down time together? Love to you!
Teacher Jeni: Rockin' the spring break, transatlantic sis, yes we are! So nice to have time off from work to relax and recoup. Whatcha got planned? I've got the alarm clock turned off for tomorrow and then it's a week of cleaning up my abode. I can teach the pets how to reach the “on” switch for the vacuum, now I've gotta train 'em to push it around for me, lol! Glad you're in a good place, as you say. Sounds like you'll be throwing down a serious think about your new job. Best wishes to you on whatever decision you make down the road.
(((Tanja))): Giving you big squeezy hugs just because. You are sounding so confident and strong in your sobriety and in your wise decision to move on to another sponsor. Thank you for your continued personal and lovely posts to our boaters, my cherished friend. I especially enjoy the peek into your AA meetings. So interesting to hear the interplay among your members.
Exquisite Emily: Yay that you're back! I was missing you, sober sister. Sharing a laptop is like two people trying to drive the same car, lol! Good deal that you're doing well in counseling. Even if some advice doesn't seem to ring true, you can always keep it in your back pocket to revisit and ponder. I'm generally a people pleaser, too, and often ignore my own needs, so I hear ya on that one. I think it helps to lay it all out on the table, though, to help decipher how we handle situations and why we react the way we do. “...the fear is pretty much gone.” Awesome! You are sounding confident and positive. Big hugs of love to you!
KittyCat: Yay that your Internet is fixed! I thought I'd heard a stray cat scratching at my door, but instead of lapping at the milk dish, sober kitten dashed past me to jump onto my laptop, lol! Big hugs to you on your stressful work situation, my friend. Seems to be a continual issue for many of us. Why can't we all hit the big lottery, tell the jobs to kiss off, and hop on board our Mayan cruise to anywhere for a month? Dreams, dreams...
(((Fun? Yes!!! OneLess))): Excellent that you've started with your therapist and you're ready to plow ahead to do what you need to do for yourself. Big hugs to you for dealing with the work bully. Sheesh, as if work isn't stressful enough sometimes, now you've gotta handle some moron who gets under everyone's skin. Hoping for a swift solution to that issue. Awesome to hear that you're considering making photography your career. One thing I've tried to live by is pursuing my interests when I can so I don't look back in wistful regret. It takes planning and courage to go after what you want, but when the passion is there, the doors to promising opportunities seem to magically fly open. Ok, so now I'm looking for pictures from you, woman, pictures! Lol!
Bionic Lee: Woooo hoooo hoooo hoooo hoooo!!! Congrats on your one-year hydrocodone quit, good buddy! And keep on with your bionic self with your awesome sober strength. Six months is just around the corner... half the year! Thank you for your check-ins, my friend. I always look forward to reading your upbeat posts. Enjoy your well-deserved spring break, too.
Dee: I hope you're feeling better! I was missing you, good buddy. Glad to see you back. Happy Easter to you, too!
And as many of you know by now, my posts are currently filled with plans and details of my budding romance with Date Pach. Can you stand any more gushing? We've been going over different places to visit together and talking up a storm most nights about anything and everything. Even my work demands aren't kicking my butt the same way they used to.
Kinda not too thrilled with my current orchestral group, though. I've discovered that they're very tough on newbies – to the point of public humiliation and verbal + e-mail beration, ouch!- and seem to be very cliquey. I've become so accustomed to the love and support here on SR and in our class specifically, that I can't understand why everyone isn't the same way with each other. Naive, right? That said, I plan to honor my commitment to the orchestra to finish up concerts through the spring, but I'm going to take my strengthened musical experience to another venue in the fall. Got a few options in the queue, so that's cool.
So anyway, is it a knee-jerk response that I'm waiting for my rose-colored glasses to shatter with Date Pach? I'm not wishing it to happen by any means, and I know the glow of newness keeps both of us on our best behavior, but I'm finding it difficult to maintain objectivity in this situation. Relax and enjoy, right? Just let things happen? Wondering if it's my reaction to the years of a bad relationship and my check-out days of drinking. Expecting failure is so familiar to me, even when life is going so well now. Stream of consciousness brain dump today. Just realized how looooooong my post has grown!
Wishing all of you a wonderful weekend and vacation to all who are so blessed! I will be checking in a little more often with this luxurious time off. Keep up the super sober strength, my beautiful friends! Love and hugs to all.
elephants-dressed-up.jpg
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Aw shucks, FP, that pic is perfect!
I wouldn't worry too much about the rose-colored glasses thing with DP. I wouldn't rush into anything permanent overnight but also no need to over think.
Sorry to hear about the orchestral back-biting - ouch! Double Pach ouch! What morons!!!!!
I'm planning on a lovely weekend right over the water (complete with waves!). Perfect for sleeping!
(((hugs)))
Sassy
I wouldn't worry too much about the rose-colored glasses thing with DP. I wouldn't rush into anything permanent overnight but also no need to over think.
Sorry to hear about the orchestral back-biting - ouch! Double Pach ouch! What morons!!!!!
I'm planning on a lovely weekend right over the water (complete with waves!). Perfect for sleeping!
(((hugs)))
Sassy
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
Hey fellow Mayans,
Checking in. Things are not going well and I guess I should just throw it out there. No drinking, but I really have begun to wonder why I quit... My life just seems to be a much bigger mess than when I was drinking 10 months ago. Life is so rough without being able to escape. I realize this is just the AV that has been able to paint the past in wonderful colors and lessen the pain I remember. I also realize its time to do something before I start drinking again.
I will be taking some steps.
I made an appointment to see a therapist on Tuesday.
I am going to an AA meeting tonight (I'm scared to death).
I will be logging in with you all more (I was doing better when I did).
I will check in later tonight and let you all know how the meeting went. I have been reading everyone's posts and am thinking about all of you. We really are getting deep in this thread and I truley believe we can all become stronger for it.
I love you all so much.
Checking in. Things are not going well and I guess I should just throw it out there. No drinking, but I really have begun to wonder why I quit... My life just seems to be a much bigger mess than when I was drinking 10 months ago. Life is so rough without being able to escape. I realize this is just the AV that has been able to paint the past in wonderful colors and lessen the pain I remember. I also realize its time to do something before I start drinking again.
I will be taking some steps.
I made an appointment to see a therapist on Tuesday.
I am going to an AA meeting tonight (I'm scared to death).
I will be logging in with you all more (I was doing better when I did).
I will check in later tonight and let you all know how the meeting went. I have been reading everyone's posts and am thinking about all of you. We really are getting deep in this thread and I truley believe we can all become stronger for it.
I love you all so much.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Rock, good buddy, it sounds like this is the place for you to be right now. When we drink, i think we tend to be in a haze and so don't fully remember how bad it can get. Just remind yourself that there isn't anything that can't be made worse by drinking.
I'm sorry you are going through a tough time but I am so totally proud of you for mapping out what you need to do for yourself.
You will climb this mountain, too!
I will be away until Sunday afternoon but will be sure to check in then to make sure you are ok. Stay strong, good buddy!
Love and (((hugs)))
Sassy
I'm sorry you are going through a tough time but I am so totally proud of you for mapping out what you need to do for yourself.
You will climb this mountain, too!
I will be away until Sunday afternoon but will be sure to check in then to make sure you are ok. Stay strong, good buddy!
Love and (((hugs)))
Sassy
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
HRB the silver lining (because I'm such an eternal optimist- ha!) is that you are catching yourself before you fall. And we're here to throw our arms out to help catch you too. I've never regretted coming here and being honest and reaching out or venting. It's like a basket that never gets full here. So roll up your sleeves and do some old fashioned sharing because we are here for you. The crap you are going through will make you stronger in the end and it will be worth it. You do know the reasons that you quit and you deserve to never get to that place again. It will never be different. It will never be manageable for us. Big hugs of live (I came back to edit this into love but thought of it as a combination love and life so I'm leaving it) to you. Plus my autocorrect knows HRB now so you can go anywhere buddy.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
tanja, bloss, emily, saskia, rock, thank you so much for your candid and emotional shares. there is always something in there i can identify with, and it's helpful
fp, your posts always brighten my day. and don't worry about the rose colored glasses. as long as you can see through them. that's not being pessimistic, it's protecting yourself while you get to know DP better. but by all means, enjoy the ride!!! (plus, it's fun for this "old married lady" to hear about new romance.)
oll, nice job on the silver linings pep-talk. you see the good in all of us
shock, glad you are feeling better, have a furry friend of your own. we have a dog (huskie/labrador mix we think, we call him a "huskador") and a few cats. they make our lives much more fun, and i hope we do theirs. sorry about the roommate. in college, i always felt bad for friends who had bad roommate issues when my roomie and i got along beautifully for 5 years. until we took on a third. she was just plain psycho. sometimes when someone says they smoke pot occasionally, "occasionally" means every waking hour. then they move their boyfriend in. then they pile recycling in the garage like an episode of hoarders and move away without cleaning it up. but i digress... :-)
the dreaded meeting is tomorrow, but i'm calm about it now. tomorrow i'll put on my big girl pants and get it done. hopefully good will come out of it. i'll do my best to be kind and objective, that's all i can control.
going to a meeting on saturday, it's a women's meeting i catch when i can. last week i was still sick and slept right through the alarm so this week i can collect my little 30 day chip.
got nothin' else. it's time for cookies and milk, followed by guided meditation and bed. try not to envy my utterly extraordinary agenda... you'll have to create your own. :-) nite nite, mayans!
fp, your posts always brighten my day. and don't worry about the rose colored glasses. as long as you can see through them. that's not being pessimistic, it's protecting yourself while you get to know DP better. but by all means, enjoy the ride!!! (plus, it's fun for this "old married lady" to hear about new romance.)
oll, nice job on the silver linings pep-talk. you see the good in all of us
shock, glad you are feeling better, have a furry friend of your own. we have a dog (huskie/labrador mix we think, we call him a "huskador") and a few cats. they make our lives much more fun, and i hope we do theirs. sorry about the roommate. in college, i always felt bad for friends who had bad roommate issues when my roomie and i got along beautifully for 5 years. until we took on a third. she was just plain psycho. sometimes when someone says they smoke pot occasionally, "occasionally" means every waking hour. then they move their boyfriend in. then they pile recycling in the garage like an episode of hoarders and move away without cleaning it up. but i digress... :-)
the dreaded meeting is tomorrow, but i'm calm about it now. tomorrow i'll put on my big girl pants and get it done. hopefully good will come out of it. i'll do my best to be kind and objective, that's all i can control.
going to a meeting on saturday, it's a women's meeting i catch when i can. last week i was still sick and slept right through the alarm so this week i can collect my little 30 day chip.
got nothin' else. it's time for cookies and milk, followed by guided meditation and bed. try not to envy my utterly extraordinary agenda... you'll have to create your own. :-) nite nite, mayans!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
oops, and jeni! good luck with your soul searching, no need to make a decision right away. enjoy your time off. going anywhere fun? looks like i'm going to England this summer. my partner is from Yorkshire. the family has visited us, but i haven't been yet.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
welcome aviva
I've read back now and I think I'm up to date - hugs to everyone who've been having a hard time.
When I first stopped drinking I had a lot of pain - alcohol was my medicine along with a lot of other things.
I went back to drinking a lot of times because of pain.
I eventually worked out tho that I had more choices than drink or pain.
I was reminded of that this last week when I had the pain, and a little despair, but absolutely no desire to drink.
no grandstanding there - I've worked damned hard to get to that point.
I have no doubt every single one of us can get to that point too
I hope those of us struggling can find those further choices
D
I've read back now and I think I'm up to date - hugs to everyone who've been having a hard time.
When I first stopped drinking I had a lot of pain - alcohol was my medicine along with a lot of other things.
I went back to drinking a lot of times because of pain.
I eventually worked out tho that I had more choices than drink or pain.
I was reminded of that this last week when I had the pain, and a little despair, but absolutely no desire to drink.
no grandstanding there - I've worked damned hard to get to that point.
I have no doubt every single one of us can get to that point too
I hope those of us struggling can find those further choices
D
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
Just wanted to check back in and let you all know going to the meeting was the right thing to do. It’s pretty amazing how the world opens up to save us at the right time. On my way to the meeting, the sky was clear and the huge beautiful moon was shining on the bay between the skyscrapers. It was an absolutely magical sight and feeling as I was driving. I got to the meeting and it was one about meditation. Life could not have chosen a more appropriate first meeting for me. The leader spoke about meditation, starting and ending the day with it. Then we did a 15 minute meditation. It was beautiful and I cried (thank goodness every ones’ eyes were closed). Then they opened it up for shares. Some really nice things were said; you could tell they were a very close group. The bell rung and I guess that meant the meeting was over. They then said if anyone is in fear of drinking tonight and needs to share, please let us know. I raised my hand and let them know that it was my first meeting and that I had decided to come because I was thinking about drinking again today. That life had just beaten me to a point where I wanted to obliterate my thoughts. My voice was cracking and I was scared to death. I thanked them for being there and for giving me a place to be that allowed me to have the experience of the drive and the meeting showing me that life is SO much better sober. I got a few numbers from some people after the meeting and I feel so much better. Like amazingly better. I am wondering now what was really so bad that I thought drinking was an answer. Yeah life is rough sometimes... why the hell would we choose to make it harder?
Thank you guys for your posts and PMs. I will check back in tomorrow with a proper “Rock” post now that my head is back in the right place.
Thank you guys for your posts and PMs. I will check back in tomorrow with a proper “Rock” post now that my head is back in the right place.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Oh HRB, I'm so pleased for you. Guess sometimes we just need to push through those times when it all seems so tough we can't take another step. Because when we do, even if its not so much a stride than a limp, we end up in a better place. This has been true for me.
Hang on to this feeling. You may well have taken a life changing step tonight.
It will all be ok. Feel it. It's true.
I will post more when I've fully woken up.
We are all with you every step of this journey. We all grow together xxxxxx
Hang on to this feeling. You may well have taken a life changing step tonight.
It will all be ok. Feel it. It's true.
I will post more when I've fully woken up.
We are all with you every step of this journey. We all grow together xxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Dee-so lovely to have you back with us. I missed you. I really hope you start feeling better and can move past the pain. My thoughts are with you xxx
FP-I love reading your 'gushing posts'....yeah, I understand how this is wonderful and exciting but is also a little scary, but hey, isn't that true about all relationships in the early stages, alcoholic or not? There will always be a part of us that wonders 'what if'....and our minds wander back to past mistakes and when things didn't turn out so well for us. I know I've been married for a long time, but I had my share of relationships that were toxic, ones that I deliberately sabotaged for my own messed up reasons, and ones that were messed up by other circumstances that left me very wary and untrusting. But hey, what's meant to be is meant to be. If we don't take chances, open our hearts and minds to new possibilities, we don't move on. Don't spend pointless hours worrying about scenarios which may never happen, you are in a good place with someone who obviously values you. You are having fun. Go with it. Relax and enjoy.....xxx
Wehav-Yorkshire is a beautiful part of England, you will love it. It's a long way from me, but if your travels bring you down South, I will pop the kettle on!xxx
Sassy-happy travels xxx
Well, I feel so happy to be home. I slept badly but then woke up, wrote a brief message to HRB, rolled over and went back to sleep. This is the life.... H is off for the next 3 days so we can spend quality time together. We both work hard in stressful environments, and with his shift and weekend work, often communicate via post-it's stuck on the fridge door!!! We've nothing planned today except a bit of stuff around the home and catching up with each other. I haven't even spoken to him about my work stresses, and he has lots of issues at work too. The kids are both home, and I just love nothing better than being with them too. I must remember I work to live, not the other way round.
This class is awesome. Thankyou all for being you xxx
FP-I love reading your 'gushing posts'....yeah, I understand how this is wonderful and exciting but is also a little scary, but hey, isn't that true about all relationships in the early stages, alcoholic or not? There will always be a part of us that wonders 'what if'....and our minds wander back to past mistakes and when things didn't turn out so well for us. I know I've been married for a long time, but I had my share of relationships that were toxic, ones that I deliberately sabotaged for my own messed up reasons, and ones that were messed up by other circumstances that left me very wary and untrusting. But hey, what's meant to be is meant to be. If we don't take chances, open our hearts and minds to new possibilities, we don't move on. Don't spend pointless hours worrying about scenarios which may never happen, you are in a good place with someone who obviously values you. You are having fun. Go with it. Relax and enjoy.....xxx
Wehav-Yorkshire is a beautiful part of England, you will love it. It's a long way from me, but if your travels bring you down South, I will pop the kettle on!xxx
Sassy-happy travels xxx
Well, I feel so happy to be home. I slept badly but then woke up, wrote a brief message to HRB, rolled over and went back to sleep. This is the life.... H is off for the next 3 days so we can spend quality time together. We both work hard in stressful environments, and with his shift and weekend work, often communicate via post-it's stuck on the fridge door!!! We've nothing planned today except a bit of stuff around the home and catching up with each other. I haven't even spoken to him about my work stresses, and he has lots of issues at work too. The kids are both home, and I just love nothing better than being with them too. I must remember I work to live, not the other way round.
This class is awesome. Thankyou all for being you xxx
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