FrenchPink

Big hugs to you on your presentation, Teacher Jeni! I'm sure you wowed the crowd.

Saskia

WeHav, I can so relate to cheering others on but sometimes neglecting our own needs. Sometimes I do let it out but it tends to feel more like a tantrum or explosion and then I don't say what I'm really feeling because that's gotten lost. And i can also very much relate to stressing over a situation when the other(s) involved don't seem to stress at all (though that's strictly my interpretation). Work situations are, to me, among the toughest because just walking away isn't always the best or even possible option. i tend to hide my very deep insecurities even from myself but they do pop up periodically. From past experience, I know that others see me very differently than I see myself.

I've never been particularly good at handling stress but now am finding it even tougher. I thought that at this point in my life I would be calmer and more settled but I seem to be going through a difficult transition.

!(((hugs)))
Saskia

Leemzer

Just checking in with everyone. Everything is great here. I am on Spring Break and doing a lot of relaxing. Each time this year I realize just how tired I am when I have a chance to breathe. Today is a big day for me...1 year hydrocodone-free. Yesterday would have been 1 year alcohol-free, but doing both simultaneously was just too hard....but April 10th will be 6 months alcohol-free too! Hope everyone is well. All of this cold weather!!!
Lee

Saskia

Hi Lee,

Congrats on the one year without hydrocodone! That is huge! I love the way you are moving on with your life and appreciate your check-ins periodically. You inspire me!

(((hugs)))
Sassy

OneLessLonely

Lee congrats on 1 year off the hydrocortisone!! What an awesome accomplishment. I hope you treat yourself to something nice and enjoy your spring break!!

bloss

Congratulations on both milestones Lee

7

Wonderful week to tackle our issues with a clear mind, difficult but worth it!
Take care everyone
Bloss

tanja

Good Morning All,

OLL - I am so happy to hear that your therapy went well. That is wonderful that all the employees collectively decided to not lose any sleep over the bully's ignoring tactics. You have shown amazing strength in getting through a miserable period, not drinking over it and not letting it affect your life. Stress and workplace bullies were always huge triggers for me to drink. Kudos to you for your strength and commitment to change!

Wehaveday - Bless you for trying to train yourself to not take stress home. You are aboslutely correct - that person probably isn't giving it a second thought. As far as your thinking about yourself - I don't find that to be true at all. You have lent support to me that really touched me and lifted my spirits.

Jeni - Thank you for information on twelve step work on SR. Good luck with your presentation in front of the parents. I suspect you will do a fantastic job.

Lee - Congratulations on on year of sobriety from hydrocodone7

I went out to dinner an then a meeting with my nephew yesterday. There was a share from a gentlemen in the meeting about having had 7 years of sobriety, relapse, only having 4 days of sobriety and access to drugs whereby he could end it all. Another man shared that had 28 years of sobriety. He stated that he was sick of people relasping, going out after 3 to 6 months and then coming back. The remark inflamed me especially due to the one gentlemen's share and the total lack of compassion. I said to my nephew, "I am going to say something". Another person shared about "when do you give up on someone?". I shared about giving up on someone when they disrespect your boundaries and the trust is broken. I also shared that in terms of alcoholism and giving up - there was a quote I read that resonates with me. When do you give up on an alcoholic? Never, not until they take their last dying breath. I made a point of talking to the gentlemen that had only 4 days of sobriety and giving him a hug. I was very disturbed by the pompous and uncaring nature of this one person. The whole AA sponsorship has me disturbed as well. I read the pamphlet on sponsorship and it doesn't sound at all like what I have experienced. Sponsors and sponsees are to meet as equals. The sponsor is supposed to be a sympathetic friend, bridge to meeting other alcoholics and an easy, open relationship. I will just have to keep my eyes and ears open for somebody that embodies understanding and patience.

Wishing everyone a good day!

Saskia

Tanja, I hope you find the kind of sponsor you deserve - one who is caring, treats you and thinks of you as an equal and respects appropriate boundaries. In the meantime, as Jeni noted, you have us and other threads here on SR for support. I think it's a huge accomplishment that you've had the strength to stay sober in spite of everything on your plate.

OLL, I am also in awe of how strong you are in your sobriety in spite of triggers. I hope you give yourself lots of credit and "warm fuzzies"!

Bloss, I always enjoy what to me seem like your quiet posts. As they say, "still waters run deep" and that's the way I think of you.

Jeni, I hope you are happy with your presentation. I have made job shifts a couple of times and in each there were, not surprisingly, both positives and negatives. I believe in you -- you will figure out what's best for you.

(((hugs))) to all,
Sassy

bloss

Not so deep,

just many years of trying to remain sober and relapsing. The times I tried and had to start over, I can't even count them. Trying many methods to become sober long term. Some conventional, some pretty out there. AA was good, then I relapsed, several times. I had 3 or 4 different sponsors. Good women, wanting to help in their way. One person's concept of contented sobriety may vary from another's. Meetings are like forums and threads, some fit, other's don't, despite our best efforts. A few people with years of sobriety kept telling me: take what works for you and leave the rest. I remember that to this day. So, for years, I was trying different ways to "not take the first drink". Some things worked well for awhile, others like hypnosis, not so much. Therapy actually was hard, so many memories of a difficult physically abusive childhood hit me square in the face and I drank. Even though I did have a hard time in therapy, it did help me realize and work on things. So, now I am better for it, at the time it was very difficult. The AV concept is helpful to me and I am incorporating all methods, taking whatever works best for my recovery and make full use of it in order to remain sober. Acceptance is key, no drinking, no matter what. This is the longest period of sobriety I have had since 1990. It took me 22 years to get where I am, prior to that I was sober just short of 3 years. Got knocked of balance and started drinking due to the ending of a 20 year marriage. Pretty messy, but had to end it the night my ex- told me he had considered killing me with a knife as I slept. Anyway, I wish I could turn back time and not have started drinking again, but that's not possible. I am very glad to have added SR to my tools for sober living. It has really helped me in many ways...sorry if I went on...there is a lot more, but today is what is important. That's all any of us truly have, so I am so grateful to be sober and have all of your support.
My best thoughts are with each of you for a sober, happy day
Bloss

Grace2

Message for Tanja
*****

Hi Tanja, I've been sent on a mission by our friends in the 'One year and under' thread to find you. Rumour had it that you were hibernating so I've come to dig you out.
Glad to see you're still here, you've been missed.

Lots a love

Gxxxx

Saskia

Bloss, thank you so much for sharing that. Sometimes I feel like everyone else has an easy time of it and I must be ********. But I do realize that I'm not alone. I know it can be hard to look back when we've Found ways to deal with things but I want to let you know how much that meant to me.

(((hugs)))
Sassy

Aviva

Hi All, how does this work? Today I have ten months -- are you my littermates? :-)

Aviva

bloss

Hi Aviva, welcome to the group
How are you doing today?

Jeni26

Welcome Aviva.... Yes you have found your home. We all started our journeys in May last year, so you are one of us. Good to have you here x

bloss

Saskia: One way most of us are alike, picking up the first drink leads us on a very destructive path. Becoming sober/recovery is a different journey for each of us depending on our "story". It takes what it takes, right?

Jeni26

Bloss-thankyou for sharing your story. You have done so well in the face of such adversity. I am so inspired by you xxx

Lee-that's wonderful to hear. Well done on your milestones xxx

Sassy-sorry to hear you're not coping so well with stress right now. Don't forget where we are if you want to share. You are a much loved member of this group and you help me so much xxx

My presentation went well. I managed to bluff my way through another situation....

1 more day at work....yay!!



Lots of love to you all xxx

bloss

Jeni: good to hear the presentation went well, back at you...regarding your sober journey

Saskia

Bloss, I agree. My struggle right now is that I can get addicted to just about anything. If I don't drink, I eat, or play computer games incessantly, or spend money, etc. as I've avoided drinking my weight is rapidly climbing and for me, that is just as bad as alcohol. The docs said that my liver cirrhosis is primarily due to the excess weight I had before gastric bypass. I got special dispensation to have the surgery even though my BMI wasn't high enough by itself. They say that fatty liver leading to cirrhosis due to excess weight can happen although is not as common as cirrhosis due to alcohol. In my case they figured I had less than 5 years to complete liver failure If I didn't get the weight off -- and I hadn't had alcohol in well over 5 years. I can't just stop eating entirely, lol! This is why I taught myself self-hypnosis so I could avoid pain meds because I'm sure I'd get addicted to them, too. It's the same with almost anything, including these threads. I get addicted to posting and have a hard time stopping. Doing anything in moderation is really, really hard for me. I've worked on this for years and the best I've managed over the long run is to try to keep some sense of balance about it. The docs tell me it's the way my brain is "wired". So I keep working on it. It's why I'm gradually working my way into another web site with cognitive behavioral therapy because they deal with all addictions and that more generalized help may be what I need. They say they know why my brain is wired this way but they don't know how to fix it. Addictions for me are like a game of whack-a-mole! The eating and alcohol are the two that can easily kill me; the others are a giant nuisance but at least not lethal thus far.

Sorry to run on!!!

S

Jeni26

Sassy, I reckon so many of us are like that, you're not alone. I can also get addicted to anything. I have also thought about whether I'm too reliant on SR, but the way I look at it, it helps keep me sober, so I'm going with it. Since I gave up drinking, I've also developed obsessions with other things, but they aren't about to kill me either so I'm letting myself be for the moment.

For you the drinking and the eating are the serious ones, so maybe concentrate on them and don't worry about the rest?

We aren't about to become perfect people. We are addicts. It's all about getting a balance and accepting ourselves for who we are.

And something you said about in an earlier post about thinking that some people find it easier? There honestly isn't one of us who hasn't struggled big time with this thing. We are all just finding our way. We are all in this together. No-one is any better or any worse than anyone else. We are feeling our way through.

Hang in there my friend xxx

Saskia

Thanks, Jeni. So far alcohol and eating seem to be what I call my "primary" addictions and I don't know if doing both at once will have other nasty consequences. I think that for this I need to make an appointment to see my therapist sooner and discuss with her the safest way for me to go about this.

You are right, of course, about addiction not being easy for anyone. I was feeling sorry for myself and need to stop the pity party. My frustration level is very high at the moment so I need to deal with that.

I very much appreciate everyone's support here. You all have been very patient and supportive and that means so much to me!

Sassy