way to go Alison :)
D

Out of action for a few days for me - some post-travel bug has me laid low. Just a quick post to say hurrah for those people who are doing so well and, to bounced and blond, I'm sending you both hugs and positive vibes. I know how gutted you must feel about your relapse but you're still with us here in SR and together we'll make it through.

Hello,

I felt like checking in. When I feel lonely, I feel like having a glass of wine...I quit with Allan Carr's book. I love that he advises not to break associations but go to them feeling confident you will not break down. I don,t count the days for the same reasons. It's easy to quit (we're programmed to think) and it shouldn't be a battle because then, it makes it much harder to not drink. Resisting - in my opinion - in the perfect way for me to rebel. So instead, I quit and say it's IRREVOCABLE. Like cigarettes, I only stopped for good once and that was it.

Mind you, sometimes I tell myself that when I'm 65, I'll start drinking again. Silly !!! On another note, Bounce and Sober1ck, I feel that if we think that our lives until now has been sabotaged and "bad" only just because of the booze, it's much easier not to fall back on it. The new life is calling and more appealing. The real us can emerge. But it takes a while. My mentor says the first year is bad. With that in mind, I try to be gentle until 2014 rings. Have a great evening everyone.

I wouldn't say the first year was bad - challenging sure - difficult at times - but not bad, DP.

My drinking life? Now that was bad...lol

D

Day 53 for me today! I thank the Lord and cherish today! No physical cravings...only mental stuff which after reading many posts here, I believe is referred to as my AV. Well my AV has been more present the last several days thinking of my friends and social settings. Wondering if anyone will like me sober or if I like me sober. Wondering if I'm boring now or even have a personality. My sane voice says this line of thinking is nonsense but in reality my friends don't call as much. So I analyze this and think that my habits of talking to my friends was typically in the evening, on the phone and I was always drinking pretty heavily. Don't even remember most of the conversations. Just know that I had that buzz going and hangover next day then repeat on and on. My friends and I would get together several times a month and go out to eat and drink heavily. Then I would go out with the family and drink. Then I would come and drink. Then sometimes I would wake up and drink.

I do not want to drink or want a drink. Today. I'm just kinda sad and reminiscing past several days. These thoughts upset me because in the past it has led to thinking that I can control that first drink or just a few for one night. That never works! Sorry for ramble and confusion. I'm on my phone and really can't edit this. Just trying to say 53 days sober, feel great, but also past days a little sad. I have a plan though. Going to take up a couple of new hobbies, starting some home projects, seeing doctor, exercise, remembering and reiterating why I'm posting here and cannot drink. Thx for all great posts and hang in there everyone...bounced don't beat yourself up. Were all together on this journey!

hope tomorrow is less sad shapeup :)

D

Already feel better by posting and getting it off my chest. Dee your post made me smile and then laugh when I saw my username. I need to shape my $&@ up!

:lmao

D

Well 44 days, Spent alot of time this week working step two, which I thought I had already wrapped my head around. But because I am in treatment we have workbooks we have to do. Wow Step 2 is bigger than I gave it credit! I guess I really do need to take as much time as I need to really work the program. Its Progress not Perfection, right?!

Yes, it means fool or idiot. You don't hear people use it much anymore, woodhead. It is probably an indication of my age. I quite often hear the youth using terms that I have to go and look up to see what they mean. I guess each generation has their own subsection of the language.

Anyway, I am feeling a lot more stable again. There is nothing better than knowing you have the first day under your belt. My wife gets here tomrrow night and I need to get cracking on a few things so that we can have some quality time as well.

I just wanted to say how interesting it has been for me being in a group which is largely made up of ladies. There is definitely a different style of language, more empathy. In my experience, men tend to be quite competitive and never want to show any weakness amongst their peers. So a special thank you to all the ladies here.

Hope you feel better soon Reeny

Its the end of February already it really seems to have flown by. No major or minor changes in my life but that's good I think for now it really wasn't bad anyways just the drinking was making it unbearable. Still only using sr for support was thinking about opening up more to hubby but he really got enough on his plate (brother is in rehab again, his parents have kinda given up or had to it caused his mum to have a break down a few years back) and I can see how that's dragging him down he's away 50% of the time anyway so don't want to worry him more.

Shapeup I hear you with the friends not phoning so much (and the drunk calls I couldn't remember) the nights out we used to have i still look at nostalgically but I think the reality was much different I am trying to find new things to do. Sadly it looks a if a big chunk of my old friends don't want to do anything other than drinking (that's another story). I know I can't go out with them now is sad but also sitting in a pub for hours sober I think would be very boring and I just don't want to. I am starting to believe I am not the boring one that way of life is.

Going to sign off now before I put you all to sleep lol I am on a roll today.

Hope everyone is doing good.

Fantastic work and a great accomplishment! :)

Hi January, last day of February!

Hi Lisa, I remember chickenpox... and getting to stay home and play video games with a friend in my class who had it at the same time. Those were the days! Hope your son gets through it OK.

carlotta, taxes? ugh. Thanks for reminding me, I haven't filed

serenity, i am likewise feeling a little lazy, of course I could do more. chanting things like "progress not perfection" only justifies my slothiness, and I know that in the past, if i sit around too long... i'll get thirsty

siesta, hope your plans are going well... power tools are fun :)

alison, lots of slushy snow here, too. Can it be March now? I hear you about getting attached... happens, hope you're ok today. 42 days now?

reeny, hope you feel better soon

hi dorothy, being gentle is usually a good idea, even if it isn't new sobriety. when i'm gentle with me, i'm gentle with others. i can be a little high strung, so i have to watch it pretty much all the time, not too much caffeine, making sure i eat...

shapeup, hard to let go of ...anything, really, any little piece of identity. you could call it grieving, when there are changes there. it's sad sometimes, glad you were able to share about it... thanks

youRmy, have fun with the workbook, i'm sure you don't have to overthink. To me, step 2 looks a little like "...and i don't have to try fixing this by myself if i don't want to." Just my somewhat liberal paraphrase.

Hey to wood, rosie, aloha, blond, liz, nel, greensleeves, melacole, gilmer, like2, and anyone reading... HAGD!

Anyone heard from Dorris recently hope she's doing ok

Lunchtime for me and it's been a long morning going to treat myself to something nice diet can start next month ;)

Hey everyone. 42 days here for me, and while we're counting - 58 days without a cigarette. I'm doing ok. Still feeling down about the crush- sad that it's "over" and then guilty about being sad. Mostly just sort of bored and blah. The trouble with it all is that it gets my mind wandering like, "what i need now is a night out with friends for drinks..." as if that would somehow solve everything. It gets that part of my brain going that romanticizes drinking and still sees the scene play out as a glamourous night in a fancy bar with wine and conversation, as opposed to beer and barfing over my toilet. I agree totally with shapeup - I don't actually want to have a drink, but I also don't want these thoughts floating around in my head for too long just in case my brain decides, you know, a drink WOULD be a good idea.
I guess I just feel like I wish I was at a more peaceful place.

Hang in there everyone. Remember just by being here, we're accomplishing a big step. You're all amazing people!

-Alison

Rosieblue, This really struck a chord with me - thanks for sharing :thanks it is the nostalgia of the past people are hooked on. We only tend to remember the "good ol days" rather than the reality of all the back stage dramas..stamp AV down with this one a wee bit im sure when the need arrives

Hi everyone - hope your all having a g,day xx

Great post, Rosie. Today I am matching my PR for successive days without drink. It's really not a big deal because my plan doesn't have a finish line. The difference is this time I've finally acknowledged that I cannot drink moderately....ever. Win the day and absolute success is the only possible outcome.

Congrats to everyone on their accomplishments as the books close on February!

What is AV ? Alcoholic Voice ?

Yep

Reeny, hope you feel better soon!

Dorothy, have the Allen Carr book on my nightstand and good intentions to read it. Unfortunately it's in line with about 6 other books that I also have good intentions to read.

Shapeup, congrats on 54 days today! Hobbies and projects are a great plan. Let us know what you come up with.

Yourmysunshine, congrats on 45 days today!

Bounced, I don't know how you men manage being so competitive and never showing any weakness. Must be exhausting. My hubby is exactly like that. Glad you are here!

Rosie, I love this, "I am starting to believe I am not the boring one. That way of life is." I soooo agree and am starting to open my eyes to this in my life.

Sober1ck, my hubby probably cringes at the thought of me using his power tools! :)

Alison, congrats on 42 days, plus your 58 days no smoking is fantastic!! Good for you for being strong about the crush. Definitely the right thing to do, be proud of yourself. We are proud of you.

Hi to everyone else here! Hope you all have a great day. Back to my kitchen project, but maybe a walk first... The sunshine is calling