Class of December 2012 - Part 5
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Morning everyone
Thanks for the positive energy and thoughts Tazzle.
gonzo-you're right, visiting the doc is the right thing to do. Hopefully I'll feel a weight off my mind too,as you did,
courage-stay strong. My thoughts are with you
Off to work for me today.Only 2 weeks left after today. Still not completed on the move but its going through.Fingers crossed it is all ok and we hear good news soon. Feel very much in limbo with it all,so many changes and challenges but at least I can deal with them sober.
Day 80 for me today though I had to check as losing count
Have a great day everyone.
Thanks for the positive energy and thoughts Tazzle.
gonzo-you're right, visiting the doc is the right thing to do. Hopefully I'll feel a weight off my mind too,as you did,
courage-stay strong. My thoughts are with you
Off to work for me today.Only 2 weeks left after today. Still not completed on the move but its going through.Fingers crossed it is all ok and we hear good news soon. Feel very much in limbo with it all,so many changes and challenges but at least I can deal with them sober.
Day 80 for me today though I had to check as losing count
Have a great day everyone.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 41
Originally Posted by Dee74 
sorry you feel down 2inconsolable.
Are you staying sober?
D
Are you staying sober?
D
OK, I'm going to work and then I have a meeting. It's gonna be a looong dayyyy.
Have a good day, everyone.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 320
Hey folks.
My thoughts are with you Courage, I hope the biopsy comes back quickly and clean.
I'm not in a good position to say much tonight, feeling weirdly paranoid and guilty. I feel deeply ashamed, though I have no idea why. I left work in a great mood, and now just feel that shame. It's like being alone in the dark with a candle and knowing that there's something scary just outside the light, but when you look there's nothing there.
Going to have an early night, not get myself worked up.
Love and hugs to all.
My thoughts are with you Courage, I hope the biopsy comes back quickly and clean.
I'm not in a good position to say much tonight, feeling weirdly paranoid and guilty. I feel deeply ashamed, though I have no idea why. I left work in a great mood, and now just feel that shame. It's like being alone in the dark with a candle and knowing that there's something scary just outside the light, but when you look there's nothing there.
Going to have an early night, not get myself worked up.
Love and hugs to all.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,036
Good morning everybody, and thanks for your kind thoughts.
What strikes me most about this medical thing, is that I had almost exactly the same issue about 1.5 years ago, and it's all a blur -- drunk, fearful, drunk. Now I'm just going to meet this problem one step at a time. And it's probably nothing -- my complaint (which is a petty one, I know) is the intrusive testing.
2Inconsolable, I'm glad to hear you're staying sober!
AliceTW, hope you wake up in a better mood. Sleep can sometimes do wonders.
Ready, hope you'll tell us more about the move -- are you changing residences? What's the new place like?
Have a great day, everyone.
What strikes me most about this medical thing, is that I had almost exactly the same issue about 1.5 years ago, and it's all a blur -- drunk, fearful, drunk. Now I'm just going to meet this problem one step at a time. And it's probably nothing -- my complaint (which is a petty one, I know) is the intrusive testing.
2Inconsolable, I'm glad to hear you're staying sober!
AliceTW, hope you wake up in a better mood. Sleep can sometimes do wonders.
Ready, hope you'll tell us more about the move -- are you changing residences? What's the new place like?
Have a great day, everyone.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: BC
Posts: 410
Morning all. Hope everything checks out okay for you courage. Busy one today, have the first and larger tender closing this afternoon so the butterflies are kicking in, is going to be over 3 mil and know I have a good bid put together, will see how it goes. First one in a long time that I've done up completely without a few drinking episodes going down while I was doing it up.
Got a chance to slip up last night and see the niece and nephews, my brother is taking the oldest to Disneyland tomorrow for 2 days, so to say he was a little excited last night is an understatement. They're so awesome, I can say that as an uncle because I get to go play for a few hours and then go home, no diapers, tantrums etc, its great. Nephews are 5 and 2, niece is 8 months, they are also a reason I am going for sobriety, realized how much time Ive missed spending with them due to instead drinking or being too hungover to go up, would be one thing if they lived somewhere else but its a 15 minute drive.
Hope everyone has a good Tuesday.
Got a chance to slip up last night and see the niece and nephews, my brother is taking the oldest to Disneyland tomorrow for 2 days, so to say he was a little excited last night is an understatement. They're so awesome, I can say that as an uncle because I get to go play for a few hours and then go home, no diapers, tantrums etc, its great. Nephews are 5 and 2, niece is 8 months, they are also a reason I am going for sobriety, realized how much time Ive missed spending with them due to instead drinking or being too hungover to go up, would be one thing if they lived somewhere else but its a 15 minute drive.
Hope everyone has a good Tuesday.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Midlands
Posts: 117
I've been out drinking and feel guilty and a failure
I'm upset that I nearly got to 2 months and went out drinking (alone) on Sunday. A new thing for me too is that i decided to ask for some heroin while i was drunk. I've never had it before and i handed the money over to another heroin addict, he went to the guys house to get some but luckily he wasn't in. If he had of been in i would of had it for sure. Not quite sure what's happening to me here or why i'm loosing the fight. Me? heroin? never. Why am i now asking for heroin? my mum has got cirrhosis and i'm finding it difficult to deal with, very painful. This is all i can think is why i wanted pain relief. I'm sober now and my flat is very untidy and unclean, i feel terrible. I was doing so well, even started to exercise. Don't want to carry on with AA as i feel like a failure and have to start again. I'm not making many female friends, just males, but one of them wanted to come round to my house and i've got a bit freaked out thinking why does he want to watch films with me at mine, is he after something or is he just trying to be supportive. Can i no longer post in December now i've drank, i'm february now i suppose?
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
sorry to hear that Newlife. You're always welcome here,don't worry Please don't leave AA-they've seen it all before and will understand. I would stick with the women though. I know from going to AA and what Ive read on here is that mixing with the other sex is strongly advised against.All are vulnerable, many are mixed up and you could be putting yourself in a compromising, if now downright dangerous position at least mentally and emotionally,possibly even physically if you let the guy round. You don't sound keen in any event,sounds as if he is pressuring you.
welcome back 2inconsolable
gonzo-hope your tender goes well. nephews and nices are fab! Mine are grown up now but I still think of them as little people
courage -there is nothing petty about not liking the testing -it' s very personal,totally understand. My thoughts are with you. we're off to Scotland-think it will be a better quality of life particularly for our son.
Alice- I hope your mood improves. I second sleep
Please don't leave AA-they've seen it all before and will understand. I would stick with the women though. I know from going to AA and what Ive read on here is that mixing with the other sex is strongly advised against.All are vulnerable, many are mixed up and you could be putting yourself in a compromising, if now downright dangerous position at least mentally and emotionally,possibly even physically if you let the guy round. You don't sound keen in any event,sounds as if he is pressuring you.welcome back 2inconsolable
gonzo-hope your tender goes well. nephews and nices are fab! Mine are grown up now but I still think of them as little people
courage -there is nothing petty about not liking the testing -it' s very personal,totally understand. My thoughts are with you. we're off to Scotland-think it will be a better quality of life particularly for our son.
Alice- I hope your mood improves. I second sleep
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Midlands
Posts: 117
thanks ready. The welcome means a lot Yeh think i'll stick with the women, talk to men on the phone, but only let women round to mine. I could be putting myself in a awkward situation couldn't i. He's been very helpful and supportive though. I just wish I could stay away from alcohol for life. Thought i had it, got the whole thing, but i obviously didn't. Suppose it will take time
Yeh think i'll stick with the women, talk to men on the phone, but only let women round to mine. I could be putting myself in a awkward situation couldn't i. He's been very helpful and supportive though. I just wish I could stay away from alcohol for life. Thought i had it, got the whole thing, but i obviously didn't. Suppose it will take time
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,036
Newlife, don't beat yourself up, but please get some help. I'm sure that in AA people will be much more glad to see you back than disappointed about your slip, and besides that, you're going to save your own life, not make them proud of you.
I also agree with Ready that you should stay away from the men in AA. Even after 60-odd (and I do mean odd) meetings, I basically only say "hi" to men unless my sponsor is with me. Even though I feel and appreciate the support of some of them, I need to remember that my thinking is still screwy and my boundaries not secure.
Take care, don't drink, and be grateful you didn't pick up that heroin. And you're still part of our class, as long as you want to be!
I also agree with Ready that you should stay away from the men in AA. Even after 60-odd (and I do mean odd) meetings, I basically only say "hi" to men unless my sponsor is with me. Even though I feel and appreciate the support of some of them, I need to remember that my thinking is still screwy and my boundaries not secure.
Take care, don't drink, and be grateful you didn't pick up that heroin. And you're still part of our class, as long as you want to be!
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Midlands
Posts: 117
thanks courage. i keep thinking about other people, and i need to stop it. its for me to save my own life like you said, with my counselling and meeting that's on tomorrow i hope my mind will be in a better place. i need a sponser, but she didn't reply to my third message, she's replied to the others but not this last one, and that was over a week ago so i feel a bit of rejection, telling myself that she has a life too and it's not all about me. need a sponser soon as but feel cheeky asking.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
hey Newlife
Each of us can really only live one day at a time - personally I think that a good way to live our recovery too - I found it a little less daunting than never in the early days
I do recommend you check out the February thread - it's good to be with people at the same point of the journey I think - but ultimately it's best to be where you feel comfortable - it can be December February or both
good to have you back
D
Each of us can really only live one day at a time - personally I think that a good way to live our recovery too - I found it a little less daunting than never in the early days
I do recommend you check out the February thread - it's good to be with people at the same point of the journey I think - but ultimately it's best to be where you feel comfortable - it can be December February or both
good to have you back
D
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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