instant

IP great news- a reward for hard work.

I seem to be entering a phase where my unpleasant emotions are felt more keenly. I am aware that at some deep level level I live with constant fear, anger and dissatisfaction. But at another level I know that to live is to suffer, and I am ok with that.

Dee74

Sorry for your loss least - it's hard for us, but now Patches is free to run and free from pain

after battling feeling unwell for over a week I'm giving in - taking a short break from SR.

I'll catch up with you guys when I get back

D

frances2011

Sending you restful vibes Dee, take care and see you soon.

WOW IP CONGRATS!!!!! What an awesome testimony for your dedicated, persistent hard work.

Thinking of you and sending gentle thoughts Least & Instant.

Dressed warmly and had a great 4 miles run in 21F temps. Feels good to feel good.

pipparina

Hello my fellow Overs-

Least, I do hope you manage to get through this ok. You're doing the right thing. If an animal isn't having any quality of life, the kindest thing is to release it to animal heaven where he can run and jump and play.

Went out for a run this morning. I felt like a warrior - it was 7* with the windchill. Brrr. But how invigorating. Rufus (my brother's dog, that I'm watching this week) whimpered when I left. He is so attached to me. He makes the funniest pig-like noises.

I hope everyone is having a peaceful Tuesday.

Kablume

Least, so sorry for your loss. I'm sure Patches feels so much love from you.

Congratulations IP on your internship! Good for you!

Well said R&A and Itchy on the temptation to drink.

Very cold here today. It is supposed to get up to 10 degrees. Going to get out of the house though. Must keep moving on.

Kablume

I hope you feel better soon Dee.

Instant, I remember going through a similar phase. I hope this too shall pass.

InParticular

Thanks! The best part is that my internship will mostly be in the music department, so I'll get to write about all the bands and shows, and do interviews which I love. It is basically my dream job (aside from Rolling Stone).

Bye Dee! Relax, relax, relax.

Pip and Frances-you've made me feel guilty for not wanting to run in the cold! Grr! Now I may just have to. .....Although the reason I don't run in the cold is because my asthma acts up, I always forget that until I'm out there and wheezing away. I guess I'll stick to the treadmill for now.

mirage

Congrats, IP..that sounds awesome!

Instant..I hope you can get through this phase quickly. I'm sorry you're hurting.

Dee....take care of yourself! Hope you're feeling better soon. Thought of you this morning, as I was getting to work, but I can't remember why. Hmm..I'll have to think on it.

It's a chilly one, criminy! -1 this morning, now we're up to 6. Was hoping for school closings, cuz the windchill temps were -15 ish, but no such luck, dang it. Have a good day, all.

Rusty Zipper

****{least}}}

and hope your on the upswing soon dee

Manz

Dee...... :ghug3 rest well dear person.

IP...woooohooooooooo!!! enough said.

Least....still sending positive vibes to you.

I love that I don't drink anymore and I was explaining why to one of my clients. I think he got it. I am a non drinker.....thats all there is to it. Life is so much better this way.

Oh.....flirting is sooooooo much fun, how could I have forgotten this?

I am off work now until next Tuesday, yay!!!! have a good one Overs

InParticular

Yeah, flirting IS fun. It's the spice of life.

So, I was driving out to an interview for an article I'm writing, and drove through an area of town where I lived a couple of years ago. It reminded me of one time after a weekend long bender, with my ex, at a restaurant so sick, him forcing me to eat because I hadn't in days. Feeling so weak and wasted. It struck me today how different I am now, I mean I am a different person now. I think about that girl, so weak, sick, sick in the head, and it just seems like another person, I can't describe it. Made me realize how low I have gone, financially, physically, mentally, from drinking. I am NEVER giving up what I have now, being sober, being strong, knowing myself and LIKING myself for the first time in a very long time. All the cravings, all the nostalgia for booze, its just never going to make me want to be back there again, to be that crazy person again. I feel like I've finally grown up, into myself.
Instant, I deal with that too, a lot. It's from these feelings that we learn, we really do. I don't completely believe that to live is to suffer, exactly—to live is also to love and to experience wonder and joy. If negativity is what you are feeling right now, I think it is your sub conscience telling you it is time to deal with these issues. Maybe? Listen to me, the psychotherapist. But negativity was my middle name, for a long time. Was a really Negative Nancy. A Debbie Downer.

Itchy

Dee,
Sorry you are having some bad days all in a string. Relax and get well, we need your company and feedback. You really overdo it sometimes. Email if you need anything.

Least, not seeing you here worries me. I will look around as I have been head down with the Windows 8 upgrades and spending half a day on hold for MSFT tech support. Almost done with all three. I do hope all went as well as it could.

IP, sounds better every time!

Manz glad it is coming back.

Frances, Pip, :ghug3

Instant,
I hear ya!

"Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain”
*William Faulkner*

Hi Kablume!

ReadyAndAble

Great post, IP. It's amazing to me how in the beginning, it seemed like this huge sacrifice to quit drinking. I put it off so long because I was afraid of all the things I would be giving up. Now I look back and wonder, what was I holding onto? There was nothing there for me but despair and regret. I stopped sacrificing the day I quit drinking. It's crazy how clear it seems now, and how blind I was to it then.

Instant and Dee, hope you both feel a turn for the better soon.

I went to my new ukulele meetup group again; such a fun way to spend the night. During a break, someone taught me the intro to Brown Eyed Girl. It sounds fantastic on a uke! And as long as we're on the topic of flirting, it has not escaped my attention that more than half of all women on Earth have brown eyes... making it a handy song indeed, lol.

instant

IP and everyone, it is amazing what transpires. I went onto the deck for breakfast this morning and noticed a spider had built a large perfect web overnight in my tree. I was amazed at the industriousness and faith it takes to do that, in the face of what it contends with. The lessons come when I am ready for them.

pipparina

IP - I love moments like that, when I can see clearly where I was and where I am now. Our recovery happens slowly so sometimes we don't realize how far we've come in changing as people. I walk a much narrower road now. Things I could have "gotten away with", attitudes, resentments, etc. don't fly for me anymore.

Cold here today. I think -5* with the windchill (Itchy - being the computer nerd, where is the degree sign on the keyboard???). Took Rufus for a walk but it didn't feel that bad, so I'm going out for a run while the sun is rising.

Rusty Zipper

pip, were in a warm spell, it's 11

and IP, happy your not a walking bummer anymore

frances2011

Hi All--Busy day but doing well. Hugs to all the Overs.

mirage

Blah, I'm struggling today. I just don't know how to do this, how to deal with this kind of pain anymore. I'm not feeling very strong, I'm not much caring about sobriety as much as I just care about surviving this. There's only so much sh*t I can take and I'm tired. My life has been so drama free up to this point, I HATE this. It feels overwhelming and impossible.

frances2011

Oh, Mirage, so sorry you are feeling crappy. No words of advice, just hugs.

XOXOXO

pipparina

Mirage - a big hug for you. But losing your sobriety is not worth it. The pain will eventually decrease but if you pick up a drink, you don't know what will happen (I know you know this already, but sometimes we need to hear it again).

I've found when I'm going through something so painful like this, I have to work twice as hard to keep my head where my feet are. So moment to moment I will tell myself "at this very minute, you are ok". It helps to stop projecting the future or thinking about the past. Try as hard as possible to keep your head in the moment.

Again, big hug

:ghug3