Codependency and Beyond- Part 26
Paradox, Humor, Change
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Naples, FL USA
Posts: 888
I was visiting my Mom and sister in Chicago and I dont know how to be sober in that situation. And I was working on my tattoos while in chi-town, and i called the wrong number. My tattoo guy is Bill and I called Billy, instead of Bill, Billy has been sober 44 years a woman here in naples and she caught me drunk on the phone. Being a woman she gossiped about it and I am very angry. And everyone keeps asking me if I am OK. And I feel like I would be alot more ok if everyone assumed I was ok and not a drama or issue. So I dont even want to talk to talk to anyone in AA or CA. I feel they are judgemental and immature. I am doing the best I can. I dont drive so it hard for me to go to meetings somwhere else. And I am ANGRY. And STUCK. ANywho.
Paradox, Humor, Change
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Naples, FL USA
Posts: 888
Fear and drama are like the flu. And when I needed encouragment I got more than I could take from people in the program when I needed the opposit. So fug em. And yeah the answer is cherishing others and not myself. But personal power cannot be summoned with a snap of the fingers.
Paradox, Humor, Change
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Naples, FL USA
Posts: 888
The days of Human Sacrafice are still with us. I got sacraficed by people in the program, to fullfill everones aversion to using again. I am telling you the truth and I saw it. Gossip is how people spread hell.
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
The Language of Letting Go
February 3, 2013
Shame can be a powerful force in our life. It is the trademark of dysfunctional families.
Authentic, legitimate guilt is the feeling or thought that what we did is not okay. It indicates that our behavior needs to be corrected or altered, or an amend needs to be made.
Shame is an overwhelming negative sense that who we are isn’t okay. Shame is a no-win situation. We can change our behaviors, but we can’t change who we are. Shame can propel us deeper into self-defeating and sometimes self-destructive behaviors.
What are the things that can cause us to feel shame? We may feel ashamed when we have a problem or someone we love has a problem. We may feel ashamed for making mistakes or for succeeding. We may feel ashamed about certain feelings or thoughts. We may feel ashamed when we have fun, feel good, or are vulnerable enough to show ourselves to others. Some of us feel ashamed just for being.
Shame is a spell others put on us to control us, to keep us playing our part in dysfunctional systems. It is a spell many of us have learned to put on ourselves.
Learning to reject shame can change the quality of our life. It’s okay to be who we are. We are good enough. Our feelings are okay. Our past is okay. It’s okay to have problems, make mistakes, and struggle to find our path. It’s okay to be human and cherish our humanness.
Accepting ourselves is the first step toward recovery. Letting go of shame about who we are is the next important step.
Today, I will watch for signs that I have fallen into shame’s trap. If I get hooked into shame, I will get myself out by accepting myself and affirming that it’s okay to be who I am.
February 3, 2013
Rejecting Shame
Shame can be a powerful force in our life. It is the trademark of dysfunctional families.
Authentic, legitimate guilt is the feeling or thought that what we did is not okay. It indicates that our behavior needs to be corrected or altered, or an amend needs to be made.
Shame is an overwhelming negative sense that who we are isn’t okay. Shame is a no-win situation. We can change our behaviors, but we can’t change who we are. Shame can propel us deeper into self-defeating and sometimes self-destructive behaviors.
What are the things that can cause us to feel shame? We may feel ashamed when we have a problem or someone we love has a problem. We may feel ashamed for making mistakes or for succeeding. We may feel ashamed about certain feelings or thoughts. We may feel ashamed when we have fun, feel good, or are vulnerable enough to show ourselves to others. Some of us feel ashamed just for being.
Shame is a spell others put on us to control us, to keep us playing our part in dysfunctional systems. It is a spell many of us have learned to put on ourselves.
Learning to reject shame can change the quality of our life. It’s okay to be who we are. We are good enough. Our feelings are okay. Our past is okay. It’s okay to have problems, make mistakes, and struggle to find our path. It’s okay to be human and cherish our humanness.
Accepting ourselves is the first step toward recovery. Letting go of shame about who we are is the next important step.
Today, I will watch for signs that I have fallen into shame’s trap. If I get hooked into shame, I will get myself out by accepting myself and affirming that it’s okay to be who I am.
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
The Language of Letting Go
February 4, 2013
Enjoying Recovery
This process of growth and change takes us along an ever-changing road. Sometimes the way is hard and craggy. Sometimes we climb mountains. Sometimes we slide down the other side on a toboggan.
Sometimes we rest.
Sometimes we grope through the darkness. Sometimes we’re blinded by sunlight.
At times many may walk with us on the road; sometimes we feel nearly alone.
Ever changing, always interesting, always leading someplace better, someplace good.
What a journey!
Today, God, help me relax and enjoy the scenery. Help me know I’m right where I need to be on my journey.
February 4, 2013
Enjoying Recovery
What a journey!
This process of growth and change takes us along an ever-changing road. Sometimes the way is hard and craggy. Sometimes we climb mountains. Sometimes we slide down the other side on a toboggan.
Sometimes we rest.
Sometimes we grope through the darkness. Sometimes we’re blinded by sunlight.
At times many may walk with us on the road; sometimes we feel nearly alone.
Ever changing, always interesting, always leading someplace better, someplace good.
What a journey!
Today, God, help me relax and enjoy the scenery. Help me know I’m right where I need to be on my journey.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
SM- first let me tell you that I love you and accept you unconditionally - as I do all our friends here - sober or not sober - AA or whatever program you choose to use for your life - just as I do my adult children ~ I have learned that each person my HP brings in my life has value and something to contribute if I am open and willing ~ I value you contributions to our thread ~
The AA group that you were dealing with is not perfect just as we are not - I know that I have encountered unhealthy people in my recovery group also that decided to break my anonymity about things I shared in my al-anon meetings - it hurt me deeply. But I learned it was about them - not me and not about the true program of al-anon. but that's my recovery story - not yours -
just sharing my e, s, & h - with you -hoping to let you know that you are loved here & always welcome - as everyone here is
Life is crazy busy here - of course - it's peak tax season - Friday I worked over 12 hours, Sat 10 & Sun only 2 hrs - and now back at my main job for a crazy busy 40 hr week
My secretary at my main job is having surgery this morning - please keep her in your thoughts - and will be out til June - so I am ALONE - with 3 major projects and no help.
so I might not be around much - please know I'll be thinking about yall & miss yall
remember to take good care of YOU - you deserve it!
love & PINK HUGS to all!
The AA group that you were dealing with is not perfect just as we are not - I know that I have encountered unhealthy people in my recovery group also that decided to break my anonymity about things I shared in my al-anon meetings - it hurt me deeply. But I learned it was about them - not me and not about the true program of al-anon. but that's my recovery story - not yours -
just sharing my e, s, & h - with you -hoping to let you know that you are loved here & always welcome - as everyone here is
Life is crazy busy here - of course - it's peak tax season - Friday I worked over 12 hours, Sat 10 & Sun only 2 hrs - and now back at my main job for a crazy busy 40 hr week
My secretary at my main job is having surgery this morning - please keep her in your thoughts - and will be out til June - so I am ALONE - with 3 major projects and no help.
so I might not be around much - please know I'll be thinking about yall & miss yall
remember to take good care of YOU - you deserve it!
love & PINK HUGS to all!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((SM)) - Sorry about you "business" being spread around, but praying that you are able to move past it. In my experience, I was angry but found out (much later) that I was most angry with myself because I wasn't keeping my "secret" like I wanted...BUT that's just me.
((Rita)) - Wow, busy lady you are! Prayers for your secretary going up.
((Newby)) - Thanks for posting the daily readings. How's Princess?
I got home from one assignment, last evening, just in time to watch the kickoff for the game. Shortly before halftime, dad and sm were in a screaming match because she wanted cigarettes and can't drive and dad refused to go get them.
After about 30 min., I just left. It was at least an hour before I needed to leave for work, but I'd had enough. Drove around, talked to aunt Phyllis on the phone, then stopped at a McD's for something to eat and could get on SR on the Nook.
This morning, I get home and dad says he went and got her a pack of cigarettes, after all
. Not sure why he feels the need to get into these types of arguments (he used to do the same with bratkin) then give in, but I don't have to be a part of it any more
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
((Rita)) - Wow, busy lady you are! Prayers for your secretary going up.
((Newby)) - Thanks for posting the daily readings. How's Princess?
I got home from one assignment, last evening, just in time to watch the kickoff for the game. Shortly before halftime, dad and sm were in a screaming match because she wanted cigarettes and can't drive and dad refused to go get them.
After about 30 min., I just left. It was at least an hour before I needed to leave for work, but I'd had enough. Drove around, talked to aunt Phyllis on the phone, then stopped at a McD's for something to eat and could get on SR on the Nook.
This morning, I get home and dad says he went and got her a pack of cigarettes, after all
. Not sure why he feels the need to get into these types of arguments (he used to do the same with bratkin) then give in, but I don't have to be a part of it any moreHugs and prayers,
Amy
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
Hi everyone,
Thought I would check in before doing any of the postings.
SM we have something in common with some of our feelings towards some meetings. I was involved in a lot of back biting and gossip in one recovery program I was in. It took me a long, long, time to realize it was just a few sick individuals who were doing it, not the whole program. I used that as an excuse to pick back up again, because I believe my disease loves to focus on that negativity. It also loves to blow things into a bigger drama then they really are. True what happened to me wasn't right, and it was very hurtful, but this disease kills, and darn it I earned my seat and no one has the right to try and take it away from me. Which they weren't, but that is what my head told me.
I still go through tons of trust issues when it comes to meetings, but I want to live today and for that to happen I had to stop drinking/using and get help no matter how much I hated going to meetings. So I am not sure if you can relate to any of this but I felt the need to write it all.
Ms Pink busy busy busy that is what happens to us when we are in recovery. Know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers.
Amy thanks for asking about Princess she is doing much better. She is done her antibiotics and she has only gotten sick once since the vets. She is back to playing like her normal self. It still kinda freaks me out that we never found out what was wrong, but all the tests were great. The vet says she is in very good health all the way around. The last test was a fecal test to check for parasites and that came back negative, so no foreign things in her. Lol. I am very re leaved, but I am 2nd guessing myself cause I spent a little over $250.00 and being on a limited income that is a whole lot of money to me. Did I waste all that money for nothing by jumping the gun to fast? I guess now it doesn't matter cause it is all said and done with.
Okay well almost time to post my AA readings..Night all.
Thought I would check in before doing any of the postings.
SM we have something in common with some of our feelings towards some meetings. I was involved in a lot of back biting and gossip in one recovery program I was in. It took me a long, long, time to realize it was just a few sick individuals who were doing it, not the whole program. I used that as an excuse to pick back up again, because I believe my disease loves to focus on that negativity. It also loves to blow things into a bigger drama then they really are. True what happened to me wasn't right, and it was very hurtful, but this disease kills, and darn it I earned my seat and no one has the right to try and take it away from me. Which they weren't, but that is what my head told me.
I still go through tons of trust issues when it comes to meetings, but I want to live today and for that to happen I had to stop drinking/using and get help no matter how much I hated going to meetings. So I am not sure if you can relate to any of this but I felt the need to write it all.
Ms Pink busy busy busy that is what happens to us when we are in recovery. Know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers.
Amy thanks for asking about Princess she is doing much better. She is done her antibiotics and she has only gotten sick once since the vets. She is back to playing like her normal self. It still kinda freaks me out that we never found out what was wrong, but all the tests were great. The vet says she is in very good health all the way around. The last test was a fecal test to check for parasites and that came back negative, so no foreign things in her. Lol. I am very re leaved, but I am 2nd guessing myself cause I spent a little over $250.00 and being on a limited income that is a whole lot of money to me. Did I waste all that money for nothing by jumping the gun to fast? I guess now it doesn't matter cause it is all said and done with.
Okay well almost time to post my AA readings..Night all.
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
The Language of Letting Go
February 5, 2013
Financial Responsibility
What a frightening, grown up thought that is for many of us – taking responsibility for money and our financial affairs. For many of us, handing over responsibility for our financial affairs has been part of a codependent trade off in our relationships.
Some of our emotional dependency on others, on this tight tie that binds us to others, not in love, but in need and desperation, is directly related to financial dependency. Our fears and reluctance to take responsibility for our financial affairs can be a barrier to the freedom we’re seeking in recovery.
Financial responsibility is an attitude. Money goes out to pay for necessities and luxuries. Money must come in, in order to go out. How much needs to come in to equal that which is going out?
Taxes… savings plans…appropriate spending habits that demonstrate an attitude of financial responsibility…. Part of being alive means learning to handle money. Even if we have a healthy contract with someone that allows us to depend on him or her for money, we still need to understand how money works. We still need to adopt an attitude of financial responsibility for ourselves. Even if we have a contract with someone else to provide for our financial needs, we need to understand the workings of the money earned and spent in our life.
Self-esteem will increase when we increase our sense of being financially responsible for ourselves. We can start where we are, with what we have today.
God, help me become willing to let go of my fears and reluctance to face the necessary parts of handling money responsibly in my life. Show me the lessons I need to learn about money.
February 5, 2013
Financial Responsibility
We are responsible for ourselves financially.
What a frightening, grown up thought that is for many of us – taking responsibility for money and our financial affairs. For many of us, handing over responsibility for our financial affairs has been part of a codependent trade off in our relationships.
Some of our emotional dependency on others, on this tight tie that binds us to others, not in love, but in need and desperation, is directly related to financial dependency. Our fears and reluctance to take responsibility for our financial affairs can be a barrier to the freedom we’re seeking in recovery.
Financial responsibility is an attitude. Money goes out to pay for necessities and luxuries. Money must come in, in order to go out. How much needs to come in to equal that which is going out?
Taxes… savings plans…appropriate spending habits that demonstrate an attitude of financial responsibility…. Part of being alive means learning to handle money. Even if we have a healthy contract with someone that allows us to depend on him or her for money, we still need to understand how money works. We still need to adopt an attitude of financial responsibility for ourselves. Even if we have a contract with someone else to provide for our financial needs, we need to understand the workings of the money earned and spent in our life.
Self-esteem will increase when we increase our sense of being financially responsible for ourselves. We can start where we are, with what we have today.
God, help me become willing to let go of my fears and reluctance to face the necessary parts of handling money responsibly in my life. Show me the lessons I need to learn about money.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Newby - so so so glad Princess is doing better and thanks again for the readings and sharing your e, s, & h! you are such a blessing to me!
Amy - glad you detached from the insanity of your dad & sm relationship - nothing changes if nothing changes and it sounds like neither of them are willing to change!
pink hugs to all ~
Amy - glad you detached from the insanity of your dad & sm relationship - nothing changes if nothing changes and it sounds like neither of them are willing to change!
pink hugs to all ~
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
My 95-year-old client, the one without alzheimers, fell and hurt her leg so my visits are "cancelled until further notice". The codie in me wants to go check on her, as she lives right down the road. However, she has said that she would rather be able to just call me when she feels up to it, let me "work on my own" but that is a major no-no with the company I work with, so I won't. I WILL send her a card, though
Good timing on today's reading. I'm taking Sat. off, which is 18 hours, because my friends are having a benefit/fund-raiser for their dad (who I call "dad" at the sr. center) as he is on a liver-transplant list. Now that I just lost an additional 4 hours of work, I began to panic and wonder if I should have kept some of the hours.
However, I think I need and deserve a break, so I'm going to take it. I will still have 84 hours for the pay period and I'll actually be able to go to church on Sunday, as I won't have worked all night!
This self-care thing is still a struggle, for me, but I am working on it
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Good timing on today's reading. I'm taking Sat. off, which is 18 hours, because my friends are having a benefit/fund-raiser for their dad (who I call "dad" at the sr. center) as he is on a liver-transplant list. Now that I just lost an additional 4 hours of work, I began to panic and wonder if I should have kept some of the hours.
However, I think I need and deserve a break, so I'm going to take it. I will still have 84 hours for the pay period and I'll actually be able to go to church on Sunday, as I won't have worked all night!
This self-care thing is still a struggle, for me, but I am working on it
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Amy - prayers for your client & enjoy your time off - you probably are ready for it!
another crazy busy day for me - but I'm so very grateful for my job & the blessings in my life ~
pink hugs to all!
another crazy busy day for me - but I'm so very grateful for my job & the blessings in my life ~
pink hugs to all!
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
The Language of Letting Go
February 6, 2013
Before recovery, many of us lacked a frame of reference with which to name the victimization and abuse in our life. We may have thought it was normal that people mistreated us. We may have believed we deserved mistreatment; we may have been attracted to people who mistreated us.
We need to let go, on a deep level, of our need to be victimized and to be victims. We need to let go of our need to be in dysfunctional relationships and systems at work, in love, in family relationships, in friendships. We deserve better. We deserve much better. It is our right. When we believe in our right to happiness, we will have happiness.
We will fight for that right, and the fight will emerge from our souls. Break free from oppression and victimization.
Today, I will liberate myself by letting go of my need to be a victim, and I’ll explore my freedom to take care of myself. That liberation will not take me further away from people I love. It will bring me closer to people and more in harmony with God’s plan for my life.
February 6, 2013
Stopping Victimization
Before recovery, many of us lacked a frame of reference with which to name the victimization and abuse in our life. We may have thought it was normal that people mistreated us. We may have believed we deserved mistreatment; we may have been attracted to people who mistreated us.
We need to let go, on a deep level, of our need to be victimized and to be victims. We need to let go of our need to be in dysfunctional relationships and systems at work, in love, in family relationships, in friendships. We deserve better. We deserve much better. It is our right. When we believe in our right to happiness, we will have happiness.
We will fight for that right, and the fight will emerge from our souls. Break free from oppression and victimization.
Today, I will liberate myself by letting go of my need to be a victim, and I’ll explore my freedom to take care of myself. That liberation will not take me further away from people I love. It will bring me closer to people and more in harmony with God’s plan for my life.
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
The Language of Letting Go
February 7, 2013
We need to make a distinction between powerlessness and owning our power.
The first step in recovery is accepting powerlessness. There are some things we can’t do, no matter how long or hard we try. These things include changing other people, solving their problems, and controlling their behavior. Sometimes, we feel powerless over ourselves – what we feel or believe, or the effects of a particular situation or person on us.
It’s important to surrender to powerlessness, but it’s equally important to own our power. We aren’t trapped. We aren’t helpless. Sometimes it may feel like we are, but we aren’t. We each have the God-given power, and the right, to take care of ourselves in any circumstance, and with any person. The middle ground of self-care lies between the two extremes of controlling others and allowing them to control us. We can walk that ground gently or assertively, but in confidence that it is our right and responsibility.
Let the power come to walk that path.
Today, I will remember that I can take care of my self. I have choices, and I can exercise the options I choose without guilt.
February 7, 2013
Owning Our Power
We need to make a distinction between powerlessness and owning our power.
The first step in recovery is accepting powerlessness. There are some things we can’t do, no matter how long or hard we try. These things include changing other people, solving their problems, and controlling their behavior. Sometimes, we feel powerless over ourselves – what we feel or believe, or the effects of a particular situation or person on us.
It’s important to surrender to powerlessness, but it’s equally important to own our power. We aren’t trapped. We aren’t helpless. Sometimes it may feel like we are, but we aren’t. We each have the God-given power, and the right, to take care of ourselves in any circumstance, and with any person. The middle ground of self-care lies between the two extremes of controlling others and allowing them to control us. We can walk that ground gently or assertively, but in confidence that it is our right and responsibility.
Let the power come to walk that path.
Today, I will remember that I can take care of my self. I have choices, and I can exercise the options I choose without guilt.
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
Evening everyone,
Not a whole lot going on except the usual irritations, like my noisy disrespectful neighbor. I did finally talk with the land lord but when he went to talk with the neighbor and his girlfriend they played dumb. She even went so far as to say, "he is never even up to 1am." Are you kidding me, really? So I went on a hunt for a cheap-o tape recorder. I ended up going to Office Depot and spent around $40.00 and I can't get the stupid thing to work right? So then I decided I would use my cell phone and use the audio record. Then I spent around 3 hours if not more trying to get it on tape, and it was a total nightmare. You guys this thing is really eating my lunch and I can find no peace with it what-so-ever.
Tomorrow I have my 6 month check up with my Dr and I know she is going to give me grief because yet again I have not quit smoking, nor have I been using this inhaler she said I had to.
On a brighter note ever since I have been single, which is a little over 10 years now, I have loathed Valentine's Day. So this year I decided I was going to buy myself a gift and not just some cheesy chocolates either. I am going to Marymoore Park in WA to see Cirque Du Soleil's Amaluna and I even got myself a hotel room so I wouldn't have to drive home late at night. I am so excited I can hardly stand it lol. I figured why not I deserve to have a good Valentine's Day. Well its actually on the 13th but still.
So that is about all I have to share. I hope all is well is your worlds? Night all
Not a whole lot going on except the usual irritations, like my noisy disrespectful neighbor. I did finally talk with the land lord but when he went to talk with the neighbor and his girlfriend they played dumb. She even went so far as to say, "he is never even up to 1am." Are you kidding me, really? So I went on a hunt for a cheap-o tape recorder. I ended up going to Office Depot and spent around $40.00 and I can't get the stupid thing to work right? So then I decided I would use my cell phone and use the audio record. Then I spent around 3 hours if not more trying to get it on tape, and it was a total nightmare
. You guys this thing is really eating my lunch and I can find no peace with it what-so-ever.Tomorrow I have my 6 month check up with my Dr and I know she is going to give me grief because yet again I have not quit smoking, nor have I been using this inhaler she said I had to.
On a brighter note ever since I have been single, which is a little over 10 years now, I have loathed Valentine's Day. So this year I decided I was going to buy myself a gift and not just some cheesy chocolates either. I am going to Marymoore Park in WA to see Cirque Du Soleil's Amaluna and I even got myself a hotel room so I wouldn't have to drive home late at night. I am so excited I can hardly stand it lol. I figured why not I deserve to have a good Valentine's Day. Well its actually on the 13th but still.
So that is about all I have to share. I hope all is well is your worlds? Night all
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
The Language of Letting Go
February 8, 2013
Feeling good about ourselves is a choice. So is feeling guilty. When guilt is legitimate, it acts as a warning light, signaling that we’re off course. Then its purpose is finished.
Wallowing in guilt allows others to control us. It makes us feel not good enough. It prevents us from setting boundaries and taking other healthy action to care for ourselves.
We may have learned to habitually feel guilty as an instinctive reaction to life. Now we know that we don’t have to feel guilty. Even if we’ve done something that violates a value, extended guilt does not solve the problem; it prolongs the problem. So make an amend. Change a behavior. Then let guilt go.
Today, God, help me to become entirely ready to let go of guilt. Please take it from me, and replace it with self-love.
February 8, 2013
Letting Go of Guilt
Feeling good about ourselves is a choice. So is feeling guilty. When guilt is legitimate, it acts as a warning light, signaling that we’re off course. Then its purpose is finished.
Wallowing in guilt allows others to control us. It makes us feel not good enough. It prevents us from setting boundaries and taking other healthy action to care for ourselves.
We may have learned to habitually feel guilty as an instinctive reaction to life. Now we know that we don’t have to feel guilty. Even if we’ve done something that violates a value, extended guilt does not solve the problem; it prolongs the problem. So make an amend. Change a behavior. Then let guilt go.
Today, God, help me to become entirely ready to let go of guilt. Please take it from me, and replace it with self-love.
Paradox, Humor, Change
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Naples, FL USA
Posts: 888
Thank you MS Pink and Amy for your support. The root issue for me, is that counting on a HP to heal me, when he has done His part in giving me this opportunity called life, seems to not be working. Meaning God has done his part its time for me to DO mine. Cherisihing others, like a mother cherishes her own children is the key to freedom. And this is a codependent thread. Maybe cherishing others without obligations sets one free. Without hooks. You see? I have been cherishing others in any given moment and felt so elated I had to get drunk again tonight. As far as men go I am as sensitive as they come. Give me three or four days in a row of cherishing others and a paycheck. And game on, time to go on a run. See?
Paradox, Humor, Change
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Naples, FL USA
Posts: 888
Holding others happiness as precious moment my moment. As practice, as spiritual practice delights me. What do others want? What do others need? What will make them really really happy? that mindset, that practice moment by moment makes me feel like Jesus Christ. Such a PEAK, I gotta drink. And then theres the hangover and the down. then I start cherishing others and a week or so later. Game on. Another RUN.
Trudging that road.
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Seattle Wa
Posts: 6,840
The Language of Letting Go
February 9, 2013
Letting Go in Love
Gentle people, gentle souls, go in love.
Yes, at times we need to be firm, assertive: those times when we change, when we acquire a new behavior, when we need to convince others and ourselves we have rights.
Those times are not permanent. We may need to get angry to make a decision or set a boundary, but we can’t afford to stay resentful. It is difficult to have compassion for one who is victimizing us, but once we’ve removed ourselves as victims, we can find compassion.
Our path, our way, is a gentle one, walked in love – love for self, love for others. Set boundaries. Detach. Take care of ourselves. And as quickly as possible, do those things in love.
Today, and whenever possible. God let me be gentle with others and myself. Help me find the balance between assertive action taken in my own best interests, and love for others. Help me understand that at times those two ideas are one. Help me find the right path for me.
February 9, 2013
Letting Go in Love
When people with a compulsive disorder do whatever it is they are compelled to do, they are not saying they don’t love you – they are saying they don’t love themselves.
—Codependent No More
—Codependent No More
Gentle people, gentle souls, go in love.
Yes, at times we need to be firm, assertive: those times when we change, when we acquire a new behavior, when we need to convince others and ourselves we have rights.
Those times are not permanent. We may need to get angry to make a decision or set a boundary, but we can’t afford to stay resentful. It is difficult to have compassion for one who is victimizing us, but once we’ve removed ourselves as victims, we can find compassion.
Our path, our way, is a gentle one, walked in love – love for self, love for others. Set boundaries. Detach. Take care of ourselves. And as quickly as possible, do those things in love.
Today, and whenever possible. God let me be gentle with others and myself. Help me find the balance between assertive action taken in my own best interests, and love for others. Help me understand that at times those two ideas are one. Help me find the right path for me.
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