The time from 3pm to 8pm every day seems to be getting harder for me to get through. I was feeling really confident several days ago, but now I get these immediate senses of DREAD popping into my head out-of-nowhere that I can't have those drinks that I was so used to having every day. I know I need to fill that void with other things, and I have been for the most part, but there's still that depression about no longer having that drink crutch to get through the late afternoon. I'm not going to let it win, at least not today - and I know that's the way we are supposed to think, just one day at a time. Thinking forever is just a concept I can't wrap my head around, though, at least right now.

Plus, I'm also wondering if I'm putting too much focus on my addiction by reading on SR a few hours at least every day, etc. I know SR definitely helped me get through these early days (I'm on day 13 now), but focusing so much on the issue instead of doing other things more may not be 100% right for me overall as I feel I'm thinking about it 24/7. Does that make any sense? I know AA meetings are not for me, as I went to several some years ago with a friend who had (has) been battling with crystal meth addiction for years, and I always thought, "Why would you want to go to all these meetings all discussing addiction and reminding you of using and hearing stories of people using - it seems counterproductive to staying clean - wouldn't it be better to distance your thoughts from all of that?" I do know that it can work for many, and I now understand how it can because SR is similar and has helped me tremendously. I think it is good to concentrate on the addiction issue a lot so you don't let your guard down, but at the same time, sometimes I feel exhausted dwelling on it all the time. I know, I sound like a schizo.

Anyway, just venting and rambling on. I'll be OK, at least for today. I'm going to go treat myself to an In'N'Out burger and some greasy fries. I am eating way too much junk food! By the way, I really do enjoy my nighttime sleeping now, I do wake up rested and happy for a new day, I enjoy being sober nighttimes after 8pm or so as I know I've knocked off another day at that point, and it does feel good to getting a higher day count.

Congrats to everyone who is counting their days and moving ahead. And to those with months and years sober already, you're all truly inspiring.

Jamnoone - very interesting point - you don't want SR to become
an addiction, but it helps so much when you slip or think you might . . . Day 11 here
(well, sort of, I had a minor slip last night but would like to stay in the club?)

Anyway - the main issue I'm grappling with is how to manage my kids *sober* -
when I was drinking way too much, and consistently, sometimes even starting in the
morning, I was relieved when they said they wanted to watch movies or stay at home on their electronics. But now that I'm sober 100% of the time (I wasn't even remotely drunk during my slip last night) I get so frustrated because I can't get my pre-teen daughter and my teen son to do ANYTHING . . . hikes, water sports, road trips, skiing -
can't get them to do anything. So now that I'm not disappointing myself, they are disappointing me. Maybe I need more patience until they re-build their trust in me?

Grappling here . . .

I think we can do ourselves a disservice sometimes to call positive things an addiction...

if SR is keeping you from real life or stopping you from discharging your responsibilities, that's one thing, but if it's helping I reckon read and post away.

Lots of people use us intently and then move on or downgrade their participation...I needed to stay though, and I'm glad I did :)

D

Sorry Dee74 - bad choice of words . . . maybe I meant obsession. I can't tell you how much I've already benefitted from these 11 days since I discovered you . . . K

I also have discovered that I don't have the patience I "used" to have.. I'm at or have been at a crossroads in my relationship for the past year..more like two.. where drinking would numb me from having to make a decision as to whether we should stay together...and I was okay with that..kinda like no one gets hurt 'ya know? But it dawned on me today since I wasn't hungover or brain tired that we had absolutely nothing to say to each other!! I was even more frustrated that I couldn't run and hide from this with my glass(es) of wine!!

Versus1960 -

Oh my - I'm experiencing the same thing, but not with the love of my life - but with her dogs! Now the smells and hair and sleep disturbances and time sink are getting to me like never before - has me grumpy like I've never been, since going to bed drunk doesn't make the problem go away any more. But in my case I do love her, so I'll find a way . . . hmmmm......

oh I wasn't directing my comments to anyone here blondsober :)

D

Well today sucked.

Got angry at some tiny thing today with my family, thought "should have a drink!".

I did not have one, however I did get more and more pissy/angry as the day went on and I was fighting with my AV.

I did well on drinking today, terribly it was at the expense of alienating my family.

So, then that leads me to think I should have a drink to not be as angry.

WTF.....anyone get this spiral in their heads??

I think most of us have experienced something like that.

What do you do to relax 9 years?
exercise, funny movie, tasty treat, long walk, favourite CD?

D

End of week 1. In about an hour it will be exactly 7 days since my last beer last sunday evening. Tomorrow will be my first Monday at work without a weekend hangover since my last attempt in June. Still not anywhere close to normal physically but I did sleep almost 6 hours last night without waking up. Did have a dream that I was at the store buying beer..kind of weird.

Glad to see several of the other January folks still holding strong, and also those who have slipped up still here and trying. We can do this!

Hi everyone. Good to see everyone here...this was my first weekend, so I have been coming here a lot over the last couple of days. Overall I have been staying pretty positive. Right now feeling a little blah and even though it is only 7 pm here I am so super sleepy and ready for bed. I know from past experiences I can have some pretty major mood swings in the first couple of months, so plugging through. It can be rough, but I know if I go back out again I will just have to start this phase again so I am powering on.

Today I am grateful for SR and for another chance.

Day 13 Done
 

Hi friends,

Day 13 is done, 2nd weekend completed. This upcoming week should be okay, and I have a great excuse to not go to a nearby cabin with some friends next weekend but I'm hoping my husband goes for a night or 2 so he can hang out with his friends - I am not ready to be in a situation like that even though I know everyone would be cool if I said "no" to drinks but at this point it's best I stay home. I'm seriously considering attending an AA meeting this week but the whole idea really scares me.

I really am taking it one day at a time and not looking too far in the future. I could easily slip up but checking in here helps me a lot and I know that being sober is really the best way to live for people like us. For those who have slipped up, I'm glad that most have immediately recommitted to re-starting their quest to be sober. Good luck to all this week!!

:ring

Thanks, Whodey. I'm also on Day 14 and the old AV has returned with force - if I can make it this far, then I must be OK, I could just have a glass or 2, why not restart in March when I'm back from my annual leave in Feb... You all know the drill, I'm sure. Drinking gallons of herbal tea and more diet coke than I should. Tough days at the moment.

Same from me, Fdm. You've picked yourself up and and come straight back here. Both took courage - good for you.

stand your ground Reeny :)

D

Yep, still here, bounced. Mood swings and listless, not much productivity at work but sober. My plan is to tell the 2 of my sons who live with me that that's it, it's over, no more. Think I'll do this in the next few days when I can say I already have 2 weeks under my belt. And when I get up the courage to say those words - they're frighteningly final!

Hi jamnoone. I sometimes jump into the Jan 2012 forum and it's inspiring. They hardly talk about drinking at all - more about the things they've been doing. They seem to know each other really well and it's great to think we'll be in that same space in a year.

Thank you, Dee. Those three words have bolstered me. I WILL stand my ground!

time for a new thread

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-3-a.html

D