Class of May 2012 part 16
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
Oh FP I'm so sorry to hear about the family debacle. I definitely think some time to simmer the options is a good idea. If I learned anything from my recent family issues, it's that no matter how much I want a certain kind of family relationship/dynamic, I cannot control others and make them conform to what I think is the perfect family. Even though i had what I thought was the perfect family dynamic, people changed and i realized it was never guaranteed forever. It was very very sad to come to that realization. But it was also empowering to not have to anguish about it anymore. And as for the always calling your brother and getting yelled at.. I mean I care more about myself now than to throw myself into a legitimate war zone/battlefield. I just as soon wouldn't throw myself into any conversation where someone would treat me in a way that I would not treat myself. I feel the need to protect myself now. I hope you care about yourself that much too. I in no way am trying to tell you what to do. But merely sharing my experience and what I've learned and how I operate now. If any of it makes sense or helps you come to a decision that's great. If it doesn't please disregard and know that there are different right ways for different people. And I wish you the best with the situation. I'm so sad to hear how the children have been affected.
8
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Lee-so so happy for you on 90 days xxx
FP-I hear you with the family dynamics my friend. Haven't time to respond right now but I will check in tonight. Just hang in there. Remember that you are not responsible for what has been, what is happening, or what may or may not happen in the future as regards anyone else. Love you loads xxx
Off to work. Adrenaline raging. It looks like my boss won't be back for the rest of the week so I'm being well and truly dropped in the deep end. People will be looking to me to make all sorts of very important decisions. I've got to banish all my insecurities, lack of confidence and self-doubt and just do it. Lots of deep breathing exercises going on here!!
Have a good sober day everyone xxx
FP-I hear you with the family dynamics my friend. Haven't time to respond right now but I will check in tonight. Just hang in there. Remember that you are not responsible for what has been, what is happening, or what may or may not happen in the future as regards anyone else. Love you loads xxx
Off to work. Adrenaline raging. It looks like my boss won't be back for the rest of the week so I'm being well and truly dropped in the deep end. People will be looking to me to make all sorts of very important decisions. I've got to banish all my insecurities, lack of confidence and self-doubt and just do it. Lots of deep breathing exercises going on here!!
Have a good sober day everyone xxx
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
sound like you already know what to do FP 
Some jobs you have to do because you want to do them. not because noone else wants to and you've been volunteered.
This sounds like one of those to me.
My brother communicates like that. The second generation have already taken up the cudgel....
I choose not to participate.
I'm a problem fixer but I can't solve a problem where my brother thinks there's no problem, or that everyone else is the problem.
I can't do anything to help when he thinks I'm being a big shot by trying to get some consultation going...
It's his problem, not mine.
D
I can't take it. I don't want to put on the peacemaker hat. Who gave me that job, anyway? I want to live my life free from this stressful BS.
This sounds like one of those to me.
My brother communicates like that. The second generation have already taken up the cudgel....
I choose not to participate.
I'm a problem fixer but I can't solve a problem where my brother thinks there's no problem, or that everyone else is the problem.
I can't do anything to help when he thinks I'm being a big shot by trying to get some consultation going...
It's his problem, not mine.
D
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 256
FP: MAJOR congratulations!!! And thank you for sticking it out with all of us and being our rock. Oh my word your description of the family feud, while quite disturbing, is hilarious. Wife-zilla? Dog screaming back if it could? Holy cow I’m rolling on the floor. I don’t know about all that peacemaker, stepping in stuff. You can’t talk an entire family into dropping its communication style, just like you can’t sit down with three generations of abusers and say “stop beating your kids” and expect it to work. Sure, it may be a wake up call, but they probably all need therapy. Especially the dog. Poor fella. I’m with Dee and OLL on this one. Pick your battles wisely. Give the kids extra love and attention so they know the world isn’t like their world.
Lee: congrats my friend! You are my inspiration!
Jeni: I’ve got so much confidence in you with your new position and the challenges you face this week. You’re so incredibly strong, and we all know you can do it. I know just how you feel. Sure I’m 41, but I still feel like a child inside when it comes to challenges…I’m like “isn’t there a grown-up somewhere that should be doing this? Why me?” but I’ve found that rising to/meeting challenges is the single most rewarding thing out there. You’ll find tremendous confidence in this challenge and move to a whole new level personally, I know. And there’s a LOT to be said for “fake it till you make it.”
HRB: WOO-HOO!!!
Saskia: You don’t know this, but I’m so incredibly happy with your sober resolve. The sober path has been so incredibly different for each of us, and I find your story particularly compelling and am so happy you’ve found your groove. That totally stinks about your women’s group being overrun by powermongers. The one I’m in is incredibly dynamic and democratic. I’m sure I’ll run into some crappy groups eventually though!
Tanja: Two of the three cats I’ve had have been plastic eaters and vomiters. Perhaps we should send our pets to therapy together. And I’m terrified of having a sponsor. I’m in love with my group and they’re not pressuring me to get a sponsor (yet), but when the day comes…I’m just so terrified of it! AV speaking I suppose.
Everyone have a safe and happy sober day! I'll check back in soon!
2ms
Lee: congrats my friend! You are my inspiration!
Jeni: I’ve got so much confidence in you with your new position and the challenges you face this week. You’re so incredibly strong, and we all know you can do it. I know just how you feel. Sure I’m 41, but I still feel like a child inside when it comes to challenges…I’m like “isn’t there a grown-up somewhere that should be doing this? Why me?” but I’ve found that rising to/meeting challenges is the single most rewarding thing out there. You’ll find tremendous confidence in this challenge and move to a whole new level personally, I know. And there’s a LOT to be said for “fake it till you make it.”
HRB: WOO-HOO!!!
Saskia: You don’t know this, but I’m so incredibly happy with your sober resolve. The sober path has been so incredibly different for each of us, and I find your story particularly compelling and am so happy you’ve found your groove. That totally stinks about your women’s group being overrun by powermongers. The one I’m in is incredibly dynamic and democratic. I’m sure I’ll run into some crappy groups eventually though!
Tanja: Two of the three cats I’ve had have been plastic eaters and vomiters. Perhaps we should send our pets to therapy together. And I’m terrified of having a sponsor. I’m in love with my group and they’re not pressuring me to get a sponsor (yet), but when the day comes…I’m just so terrified of it! AV speaking I suppose.
Everyone have a safe and happy sober day! I'll check back in soon!
2ms
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Good Morning All,
FP - You have gotten great advice from Dee and OLL. I agree that the role of peacemaker is not your responsibility nor should it be. It is shame that your brother's abusive behavior cannot be addressed, but clearly you cannot change someone who doesn't want to acknowledge they have a problem or want to change. I am so sorry that being around that situation caused you a mini panic attack. The situation sounds quite toxic. For me - I have to try and stay away or limit situations that envoke anxiety in an effort to protect my sobriety. You are one smart lady and I have every confidence that you will make the best decisions for yourself in this regard.
Bloss - I am familiar with Terrence Gorski. I know I have one of his books somewhere. I need to go look it up. Your reading sounds so good. Can you share some of what your reading to help us out with relapse prevention? Thank you for the compliments! I think you are so sweet too. I admire you so much for giving sweet, little Blossom a wonderful, loving home. I agree 100% that animals have feelings just like us. They also have a keen understanding of our feelings. They can sense when we are up and when we are depressed or anxious. They are such gifts from God. Actually, God is Dog spelled backwards
Congratulations Lee on 90 days of sobriety
90 days is such a significant milestone. I truly believe in celebrating not just the milestones, but every day that we remain sober. I hope you find some way to reward yourself.
Jeni - You should be so proud of yourself. You are demonstrating such emotional sobriety in changing the way you think and casting aside any self-doubts and insecurities. It is so inspirational to us all!
OLL - I hope your cold is getting better. You are one incredibly strong and resilient lady. Your strength and your wisdom always inspires and lifts me.
Sas - Glad to hear that you have three weeks off to tackle your closet project! I did manage to clean out the disorganized kitchen drawer yesterday. I do hope you can also find the time to rest and relax.
Wishing everyone a great day
FP - You have gotten great advice from Dee and OLL. I agree that the role of peacemaker is not your responsibility nor should it be. It is shame that your brother's abusive behavior cannot be addressed, but clearly you cannot change someone who doesn't want to acknowledge they have a problem or want to change. I am so sorry that being around that situation caused you a mini panic attack. The situation sounds quite toxic. For me - I have to try and stay away or limit situations that envoke anxiety in an effort to protect my sobriety. You are one smart lady and I have every confidence that you will make the best decisions for yourself in this regard.
Bloss - I am familiar with Terrence Gorski. I know I have one of his books somewhere. I need to go look it up. Your reading sounds so good. Can you share some of what your reading to help us out with relapse prevention? Thank you for the compliments! I think you are so sweet too. I admire you so much for giving sweet, little Blossom a wonderful, loving home. I agree 100% that animals have feelings just like us. They also have a keen understanding of our feelings. They can sense when we are up and when we are depressed or anxious. They are such gifts from God. Actually, God is Dog spelled backwards
Congratulations Lee on 90 days of sobriety
90 days is such a significant milestone. I truly believe in celebrating not just the milestones, but every day that we remain sober. I hope you find some way to reward yourself.Jeni - You should be so proud of yourself. You are demonstrating such emotional sobriety in changing the way you think and casting aside any self-doubts and insecurities. It is so inspirational to us all!
OLL - I hope your cold is getting better. You are one incredibly strong and resilient lady. Your strength and your wisdom always inspires and lifts me.
Sas - Glad to hear that you have three weeks off to tackle your closet project! I did manage to clean out the disorganized kitchen drawer yesterday. I do hope you can also find the time to rest and relax.
Wishing everyone a great day
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Good morning, Mayans!
Lee, congrats on 90 days!!!
FP, I'd love to be able to give you some magic formula to fix things but I can't; I'd like to come up with some incredibly wise advice -- but our May sober-mates have already done that so beautifully there's nothing I can add; i am sending lots of sober love and (((hugs))) your way to let you know we are all with you. Stay strong and be true to yourself.
OLL, your comments to FP were so great! Awesome thoughts and way to phrase them. You are reaching out to all who need help.
Tanja, very insightful and always caring comments from you! I love reading your posts because they are clearly wise and heartfelt. You have grown so much.
Jeni, you will do well! Beginnings are difficult for many of us. 2 mags said it so well. In the early afternoons Here i usually think about you and realize that you are probably home from work already. Have some fun, too, my friend.
2mags, "The sober path has been so incredibly different for each of us" - such a great insight. I had felt so dumb because I just couldn't seem to make it when I had done so on a dime when I was younger. Your comment helped me feel better because it made me realize that being on a different path is not dumb, it's just how it's working for me. Thank you! I'm so happy that you found a good group.
Dee, you seem to know just when it's helpful to add your insights and you do it so beautifully. Thank you!
Rock, buddy, I hope you've had a chance to rest, unwind and renew. I love how you take care of yourself by resting first and then posting later except you do congratulations when the anniversaries happen.
To all of our Mayans, I value each and every one of your posts. There is so much collective experience in this close group. We share our victories, defeats and life's little challenges. We each have our own unique style of sharing and supporting. If the collective growth being experienced by us were to spread to all the world, the effect would be unimaginable.
Lee, congrats on 90 days!!!
FP, I'd love to be able to give you some magic formula to fix things but I can't; I'd like to come up with some incredibly wise advice -- but our May sober-mates have already done that so beautifully there's nothing I can add; i am sending lots of sober love and (((hugs))) your way to let you know we are all with you. Stay strong and be true to yourself.
OLL, your comments to FP were so great! Awesome thoughts and way to phrase them. You are reaching out to all who need help.
Tanja, very insightful and always caring comments from you! I love reading your posts because they are clearly wise and heartfelt. You have grown so much.
Jeni, you will do well! Beginnings are difficult for many of us. 2 mags said it so well. In the early afternoons Here i usually think about you and realize that you are probably home from work already. Have some fun, too, my friend.
2mags, "The sober path has been so incredibly different for each of us" - such a great insight. I had felt so dumb because I just couldn't seem to make it when I had done so on a dime when I was younger. Your comment helped me feel better because it made me realize that being on a different path is not dumb, it's just how it's working for me. Thank you! I'm so happy that you found a good group.
Dee, you seem to know just when it's helpful to add your insights and you do it so beautifully. Thank you!
Rock, buddy, I hope you've had a chance to rest, unwind and renew. I love how you take care of yourself by resting first and then posting later except you do congratulations when the anniversaries happen.
To all of our Mayans, I value each and every one of your posts. There is so much collective experience in this close group. We share our victories, defeats and life's little challenges. We each have our own unique style of sharing and supporting. If the collective growth being experienced by us were to spread to all the world, the effect would be unimaginable.
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Happy Tuesday morning, magnificent Mayans! Such wonderful advice from you, and I truly appreciate it. I'll have more time to sit down and chat with you this evening after work. Now, for the big event...
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR 3 MONTHS MILESTONE, LEE!!!
A special visit from my cousin, Bionic Mammoth, to help celebrate your phenomenal sober strength! I am so proud of you for pushing through and sticking to your sober resolve, good buddy. Absolutely awesome. Much love to you, May mate!
bionic-elephant.jpg
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR 3 MONTHS MILESTONE, LEE!!!
A special visit from my cousin, Bionic Mammoth, to help celebrate your phenomenal sober strength! I am so proud of you for pushing through and sticking to your sober resolve, good buddy. Absolutely awesome. Much love to you, May mate!
bionic-elephant.jpg
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: CA
Posts: 3,360
Good Tuesday Morning May Group:
Big shout out to Lee 90 days!!!
Yesterday I had a bit of the January Blues, just cold and foggy. Today the sun is peeking out so I am more positive.
Saskia: your project sounds big, but you seem to have it planned well and I'll bet it will be a super closet, very easy to find things (unlike mine).
Tanja: One of the things I'm realizing is how in the past I have
sabotaged my own recovery. I didn't realize it, but I was doing things learned in childhood, which at the time worked, but have no place in my life now. Old habits learned as child don't give up easily.
2mags: Your share about the cats and plastic, hits a note with me. I have 2 and one of them bites on a plastic green arrangement on the coffee table. I moved it when I realized he was eating it. He seems ok, but very strange to seem him doing that.
Jeni: Deep breaths are calming, I can just see you walking into a room full of confidence and doing so well,
FP: I look forward to everyone's milestones and the great pach pictures you share. Everyone has offered such wonderful insight regarding family issues, I second pretty much all that has been written. Stay true to your values and continue to practice "self" care. ((Hugs))
OLL, HRB, Dee, everyone
Have a great day
Bloss
Big shout out to Lee 90 days!!!
Yesterday I had a bit of the January Blues, just cold and foggy. Today the sun is peeking out so I am more positive.
Saskia: your project sounds big, but you seem to have it planned well and I'll bet it will be a super closet, very easy to find things (unlike mine).
Tanja: One of the things I'm realizing is how in the past I have
sabotaged my own recovery. I didn't realize it, but I was doing things learned in childhood, which at the time worked, but have no place in my life now. Old habits learned as child don't give up easily.
2mags: Your share about the cats and plastic, hits a note with me. I have 2 and one of them bites on a plastic green arrangement on the coffee table. I moved it when I realized he was eating it. He seems ok, but very strange to seem him doing that.
Jeni: Deep breaths are calming, I can just see you walking into a room full of confidence and doing so well,
FP: I look forward to everyone's milestones and the great pach pictures you share. Everyone has offered such wonderful insight regarding family issues, I second pretty much all that has been written. Stay true to your values and continue to practice "self" care. ((Hugs))
OLL, HRB, Dee, everyone
Have a great day
Bloss
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
Day 170/30... well, hopefully it's the last day 30.
Went over to check on the onions that I planted last year. A few got eaten, a couple more didn't grow, but that's life. Got rid of some of the weeds that were growing round them, and then planted a few more. Did a spot of digging.
I've taken a couple of days off from writing. Part of it is trying to find a way to fill about 160 years worth of time. What do vampires do in their time off? [Try to take over the world?]
But yes, it's been a day for physical activity, which is a good thing for after christmas. Off to a meeting tonight, so that's some more walking and means I can pick up the shopping on the way back.
Saskia - good luck with the closets.
fp - congratulations on eight months. Two thirds of a year...
sorry to hear about your family troubles. If you don't feel comfortable playing peacemaker, especially if one side doesn't feel the need for one.
tanja - I hope the dog wasn't too ill. Glad you managed to sleep. How'd the exercise go?
onelesslonely - self care is very important. It's so easy to say 'I feel a bit better, and this needs doing,' and ending up (back) in bed.
jeni - you sound really positive and determined about the new job.
bloss - yes, life goes back to normal after all the upheaval of the last couple of weeks, and it takes a little getting used to. Great news about Blossom.
leemzer - congratulations on 90 days.
2magnolias - good to hear from you.
Have a good day folks, and remember that we deserve to be sober, and happy. Yes, there will be bad times, but they are part of life, not a punishment.
Love and Hugs to you all. And may your higher power go with you. x x
Went over to check on the onions that I planted last year. A few got eaten, a couple more didn't grow, but that's life. Got rid of some of the weeds that were growing round them, and then planted a few more. Did a spot of digging.
I've taken a couple of days off from writing. Part of it is trying to find a way to fill about 160 years worth of time. What do vampires do in their time off? [Try to take over the world?]
But yes, it's been a day for physical activity, which is a good thing for after christmas. Off to a meeting tonight, so that's some more walking and means I can pick up the shopping on the way back.
Saskia - good luck with the closets.
fp - congratulations on eight months. Two thirds of a year...
sorry to hear about your family troubles. If you don't feel comfortable playing peacemaker, especially if one side doesn't feel the need for one.
tanja - I hope the dog wasn't too ill. Glad you managed to sleep. How'd the exercise go?
onelesslonely - self care is very important. It's so easy to say 'I feel a bit better, and this needs doing,' and ending up (back) in bed.
jeni - you sound really positive and determined about the new job.
bloss - yes, life goes back to normal after all the upheaval of the last couple of weeks, and it takes a little getting used to. Great news about Blossom.
leemzer - congratulations on 90 days.
2magnolias - good to hear from you.
Have a good day folks, and remember that we deserve to be sober, and happy. Yes, there will be bad times, but they are part of life, not a punishment.
Love and Hugs to you all. And may your higher power go with you. x x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Hi everyone. Home from work. Did some more 'acting' like a grown-up today. Speaking confidently to professionals when you feel like a child is taking all my strength!!
But yeah, I'm kind of enjoying it though I have to admit the highlight of my day was being called to help with one of my absolute favourite kids ever. Really emotionally disturbed little boy, awful home background, communication and learning difficulties. He had decided he wasn't going to do anything at all today apart from sit on a cupboard and throw things at the other kids. At last....this sort of challenge I can cope with..
I had a wonderful hour or so with him. And he left school calm and happy. And so did I.
FP-For me, dealing with my equally dysfunctional family, my breakthrough came when I completely stopped taking part in the dynamics. I have finally accepted that nothing I say or do is going to make a jot of difference. I am not responsible for any of their behaviour. It took some doing as I was also considered the peacemaker. I can't say honestly that I don't still get that knot in my stomach when I visit, but it is so much better. And now they have stopped relying on me I feel much more inclined to see them in small doses.
I would echo what 2mags said about involving yourself in the kids lives if that's possible. Being an aunty is so cool. Interacting and talking to them in a reasonable way will show them there is an alternative way to live. You could well be a very important influence as they develop. But, don't make it a mission. Just have fun with them. Sounds like they don't get a great deal of that xxx
But yeah, I'm kind of enjoying it though I have to admit the highlight of my day was being called to help with one of my absolute favourite kids ever. Really emotionally disturbed little boy, awful home background, communication and learning difficulties. He had decided he wasn't going to do anything at all today apart from sit on a cupboard and throw things at the other kids. At last....this sort of challenge I can cope with..
I had a wonderful hour or so with him. And he left school calm and happy. And so did I.
FP-For me, dealing with my equally dysfunctional family, my breakthrough came when I completely stopped taking part in the dynamics. I have finally accepted that nothing I say or do is going to make a jot of difference. I am not responsible for any of their behaviour. It took some doing as I was also considered the peacemaker. I can't say honestly that I don't still get that knot in my stomach when I visit, but it is so much better. And now they have stopped relying on me I feel much more inclined to see them in small doses.
I would echo what 2mags said about involving yourself in the kids lives if that's possible. Being an aunty is so cool. Interacting and talking to them in a reasonable way will show them there is an alternative way to live. You could well be a very important influence as they develop. But, don't make it a mission. Just have fun with them. Sounds like they don't get a great deal of that xxx
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
Hey all just checking in while I have a sec at lunch. Just another day, back at work. Can't wait to be out. Not much to say but felt the need to say hi. I think I'm bored. Or restless. And I need to remember that I used to long for boringness during all my drinking shenanigans. I longed for a normalcy. But now that I have it, every now and then I get restless because of it and I don't want to do what it takes to spice things up. Like right now I'm fantasizing about a job change or a whole career change. But I know deep down that it'll be fun for awhile but I'll soon become bored and restless. There seems to be something missing. I should be practically elated all the time because of how well I'm doing and how lucky I am to have the life I have. But I just feel eh. I dunno. I just needed to get that out. Anyone else trying to be satisfied but left feeling empty?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
OLL-I think maybe that when we we drinking, we surrounded ourselves with drama. Well, I know I did! Everything was just so over-exaggerated! When i laughed I would end up hysterically giggling over nothing. When I was upset, I was suicidal. Maybe normality just takes some getting used to?
I'm still trying to work out what I like to do sober, but I think the answer is going to be very little.
I just like being quiet.
But then I am a bit boring I know! Xxx
I'm still trying to work out what I like to do sober, but I think the answer is going to be very little.
I just like being quiet.
But then I am a bit boring I know! Xxx
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
OLL and Jeni,
Add me to the group. I really need to force myself to do things. I never had to force myself to go get tequila, just did it as routine. I did force myself to the gym yesterday though. An hour of cardio and 40 minutes of weights. Maybe I over did it, but i certainly felt better after forcing myself out of the house. I have always been kind of a loner with a few really close friends. More of a home body. This was even when drinking.
I know I am doing better mentally, but sometimes sober life kinda sucks. It just would suck a hell of a lot more if we were all drinking again. The one thing that has gotten me through is all of you. The sober strength within this group is amazing, and without it, I hate to think where I would be.
I will post to everyone later tonight. Hope you all are doing well, or at least good enough to know drinking will make things worse.
Add me to the group. I really need to force myself to do things. I never had to force myself to go get tequila, just did it as routine. I did force myself to the gym yesterday though. An hour of cardio and 40 minutes of weights. Maybe I over did it, but i certainly felt better after forcing myself out of the house. I have always been kind of a loner with a few really close friends. More of a home body. This was even when drinking.
I know I am doing better mentally, but sometimes sober life kinda sucks. It just would suck a hell of a lot more if we were all drinking again. The one thing that has gotten me through is all of you. The sober strength within this group is amazing, and without it, I hate to think where I would be.
I will post to everyone later tonight. Hope you all are doing well, or at least good enough to know drinking will make things worse.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Yes, Rock, buddy, being sober is sometimes not great -- especially if we want to escape, but the alternative is worse. I'm finding that many days are pretty good, some are great and a few are no fun. But they are sober and that's a good thing.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
Well I'm glad to hear I'm not alone at least. I've been striving for happiness and didn't want to be a debby-downer. Some days are fine but others I think there's something wrong with me. So I just had to put it out there. I should just be grateful for what I have but sometimes get overwhelmed that this is my one little life and I should be doing everything I ever dreamed of. A lot of the things require money. Traveling, new hobbies, new career. But money is tight with the new house and its unexpected issues. I don't like my job enough to increase my hours. I feel stuck which is funny because I posted words of encouragement on someone's post in newcomers about feeling stuck. I can be good about being logical and giving advice. But I'm terrible at following it myself!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
Thanks Sas!
Feeling pretty ok today. Went to the beach and am walking along the ocean. My mind starts racing and thinking of all the things I have let go and should be doing. There just is not enough time in the day. Oh well, soon I will have time off to catch up with things. Plus no matter how much I get done there will still be more to do so I better get used to the feeling
Feeling pretty ok today. Went to the beach and am walking along the ocean. My mind starts racing and thinking of all the things I have let go and should be doing. There just is not enough time in the day. Oh well, soon I will have time off to catch up with things. Plus no matter how much I get done there will still be more to do so I better get used to the feeling
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
You're not alone, OLL. I think that's a part of being a thinking, feeling human being. We'll never be perfect, never have everything we want and never be everything we want. IMHO, some of it is reaching a point where we can accept what life hands us and truly turn lemons into lemonade. Age has something to do with it; also the challenging times we live in don't help. Substance abuse gives the illusion of eliminating the downsides in life but it's such a cruel illusion. It leaves us feeling worse and more powerless even while providing the illusion of a "happier" life. Feeling the way we sometimes do now at the worst is still better than the best when not sober. Some of it seems to me to be part of tincture of time - getting used to experiencing the range of feelings. Worth it in the longer run, I believe strongly.
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