BillyPilgrim

hiya nels
x

nonblondechef

Very quiet here, gang! Blows kisses to Nel and Billy!

faceitandfixit

Hugs and love from NJ!
Been busy finishing taxes and prepping for the cruise..less than 2 weeks away!
On that note, probably won't be able to get on here unless we're docked, internet fees are outrageous
Planning to find the Friends of Bill W meetings and pop in at least once. I know I won't drink but will be absolutely surrounded by the stuff. This will be a real test of my sobriety. Bringing a couple cases of ginger ale and having the mini-fridge cleaned out before embarking, just to be safe...
How's it going PCL? Hope this finds you well, and staying strong. Have you lined up an arsenal for this time around?
Thinking of you all and wishing everyone a great weekend!
Kim xo

Purplecatlover

Hey guys! I'm here. Soaking up the sun!
I went back on my meds, it helps w cravings & stabilizes my moods. Anyway, whatever it takes to stay sober & out of alcohell

Have a fab cruise! I've never been on one.
Hope everyone's having an awesome Soberlicious good weekend!

nel68

Faceit have a great time on your cruise, you will have to tells us all about it when you get back. PCL I'm so happy things are going good for you...Hey Billy, NBC..I'm so tired tonight, well gang I will check in tomorrow.....peace & love Nell.

Purplecatlover

Enjoyed the sunshine today! I'm ready to plant some flowers!!
All's good in PCL world.
How's everybody else?

nonblondechef

Burrr - it is cold and windy here today but it is still better than snow. Watching Season 4 of Celebrity Rehab. Interesting seeing it through sober eyes this time around. So much denial. I find myself still being in denial, too. I really wonder if I am an alcoholic. I guess my stumbling block is that I never HAD to drink, I just WANTED to drink. I no longer have the desire to drink, however, sitting at lunch with my admin team on Friday I was facing the bar. There was a beautiful glass of wine waiting for the server to pick up. I just stared at it. I watched the martinis being made and could vividly recall their super icy, briny goodness. To just have one, someday? Oh I so want to. But I just know that would be opening Pandora's box. PCL, your lesson learned has been very powerful. I wouldn't call these feelings urges, just yearning. Then I stop and think about what you, sweet friend, just went through, and just do not ever, ever, ever want to be there again. The one day at a time is so very real again - actually, still. Guess I answered my own question...I am an alkie. Kim, I think your pre-cruise measures are so awesome. I just know you are not only going to have an amazing time, it will be so soberliciously memorable. I wish for you the best time ever of sun, fun, and relaxation. Going to go make clam and smoked salmon chowder with garlic kalamata olive french bread. Everyone invited! Thanks for listening. Love you all tons and gobs!! Tammi

katrinka

I have those same feelings, NBC, about wine. How I just want to be able to drink like a "normal" person. But I know that won't happen so never drinking again is the only answer and most of the time, I accept it. I keep reminding myself that you can't have everything in life and not drinking is nothing compared to what many of my friends and family are going through right now. Today was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and it was in the 50's. I went for a long walk, it was good for the soul.

Have a great week classmates!

Purplecatlover

NBC, that's kinda what I was thinking. I was like well I went over a yr. maybe I could be normal now. Things in my life are different blah blah beast babble. I wanted to test my theory bc it was driving me crazy. I knew the answer but there was that .0001% that maybe I was different, I'm strong willed, I sobered up w out AA.
WRONG. It was like I picked up exactly where I left off. But worse. Kindling is real. I drank & blacked out. Don't remember things I said it did. So embarrassing. And immature.
I never want to out of control of myself again.
Don't let the beast delude you. Once Alcohell always Alcohell.

DarkDays

Thing Is NBC and Purplecatlover..WheN i have thoughts of drinking Its not thoughts of moderating, its thoughts of getting a couple of bottles of wine and drinking to get a buzz on, not taste or being sociable. THe whole thing is a con and BS, I know that if I drink I will be back to where I was before, and the crazy thing is I have even contemplated that that would be ok being back before I was before. Not no more, I have declared war on alcoHELL. I am not going back, the good of being sober is just too good ! Reading Gazza in the English papers today, he was 17 months sober and the first drink when he picked up nearly killed him. Dont think I personally could handle the depression if I drank now, too far in for all that bs.

Ok you all going to commit for another year sober from this day onwards ? we need motivation

Ok I have signed

nel68

I know those feeling of wanting to drink like a normie, I get so mad that I'm a alcoholic and cannot enjoy drinking in a social manner.!! Its cold and rainy here.. NBC I love Celebrity Apprentice!!....Know major cravings here Hope everyone has a marvelous Monday!..p.s. LLoovvee the Easter smilies!

Purplecatlover

DD, I vow to never put poison of any kind in my body EVER again.
Real life is too special!!
Thanks for your motivation DD!
You Rock!

BillyPilgrim

I'm there too. I fancied some olives on Sunday, and thought some red would be nice with them.
Didnt, because I know the temptation path, it would be one glass then one bottle then another bottle, then......
Sticking with Tea.

Wild winter day here, blizzards followed by blazing sunshine, then more blizzards....

Dee74

I think everyone goes through a period of thinking - maybe I wasn't really alcoholic....
I did too - even tho I nearly died...lol

the thing is, alcohol made my life hell....if life is going so well without alcohol...why would I want to reintroduce it.....unless there was something else quite illogical going on ?

I've accepted what I am now
D

newleaves2012

I don't know where to post this so I came back here to the January group. I'm really devastated today because of some bad news about my 13 year old beagle Lucy. apparently over a year ago when I was still a drunk I'd neglected to give her some of her heartworm meds and today she tested positive for heartworms. she is 13 with an existing heart murmer and may be too risky for the treatment. I have never felt like such a piece of **** in my whole life. I have almost 15 sober months straight and things were looking so good and my past comes back to bite me another time. I love this dog so much and the guilt I'm feeling is overwhelming me.

nel68

newleaves2012, I am so sorry about your dog. ****{big hugs to you}} I know its going to be hard, just try to remember all the joy and happiness and love that Lucy brought into your life. Please try not to blame yourself and enjoy the time you have with her, she will since your sadness. Just give her lots of love and remember all the wonderfulness of those years. I will send prayers your way. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and Lucy, please take care newleaves. Please post if you feel you need to talk.

Dee74

I'm sorry newleaves - but try not to beat yourself up too much before you know the real situation, ok?

It might be that she can take the treatment...
it could also be that this might have happened anyway... you don't need me to tell you, 13 yo dogs are the 90 year olds of the canine world.

Noone of us can go back and change the past - as hard as that may be.

I know she's a very loved dog now
best wishes to you both

D

katrinka

Hey, DD, great idea!! I am totally committed to another year. I signed up, too. I love the expression Beast Babble, PCL. It's an interesting phenomenon, isn't it? But very dangerous and we all have to remember not to listen to it. All lies!! Have a great day classmates!

Bunny7

71 days today - cant wait to hit 100 :-)

Limbo75

Hey class!

Dear Newleaves, so sorry to hear about Lucy, having 2 dogs myself I can relate to what you are feeling. At the same time I echo Dees words, don't beat yourself up, life is what it is and you cannot change the past. In my parts of the world the worms bit is not something big on peoples agenda, my 12 year old has probably never had worm pills and somehow dogs have survived throughout the centuries without pills. Love her and take care of her and enjoy the time you have. Life is to short for guilt as it has no productive use in your life what so ever...

Class, I am signed up for another year as well!!!! So interesting how the beast babble (love it PCL) hits us at similar times. I took a break from it all this weekend and went out with my dogs to a cabin for the weekend, just me alone for some time to think and such. The beast immediately came nagging... I am alone, no one would know, just one weekend and so on and so forth. It bugged me to no ends to even have these thoughts pop in to my head as the last thing I want to do is drink! Anyways, it was a lovely weekend and of course I did not drink, which was no the point somehow, I just wish the beast would leave me alone..... DD, loved your post, when I get attacked it is the same, I do not just want a glass of wine or a drink, I want to get knocked out...strangely enough since I got sober it also feels worse in my thoughts, I have no longing to enjoy alcohol, just get blasted. Not that I have a longing to get blasted but that is how these fleeting moments express themselves.

Thank God for sobriety!!!!!!

Have a wonderful Tuesday class :-)