Class Of November 2012 - Part 5
Doing Business Since 11/3/2012
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,143
Originally Posted by Thanume 
Just returned from a fantastic day of snowboarding in our wonderful Rocky Mountains....
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Sorry that I went so long without posting here.
I was really busy, it was crazy here. My daughter and grandchildren came up here on Friday, and also my son.
I had thought I was finished with Christmas shopping, because, oh well, my children weren't speaking to me for about 4 years. Not saying that I had no communication with them, but since my divorce, and even before my divorce things were not ok between me and the kids.
When I left my exH, he totally turned the kids against me. I was hearing things from my kids, that, "at least he is finally nice to me".
Really long story here, but they started inviting him to all family functions, I was asking just to have half of them, I would get the half, where I would cook, clean, bring presents, and leave before the party started so that I would not run into my then soon to be ex.
What I went thru my my kids in the last 4 years, might even seem extreme on the Je rry Springer show.
I made it through of all that. They came to visit me, minus my youngest daughter, but things went well. Except for .............. My sons hobby is home brewing, so he bought beer with him that he made. I did have one. Not sorry about that. He was so proud of himself that he could do that and that it really did taste good. I had one with him, and it was really really good, but I stopped after that one. I drank that one to just appreciate the flavor, and the work he put into it. I did not have any cravings after that one. So I guess, I need to set my new sobriety date to 12/22/2012.
I would like to say that I have excuses, but I have none. I did have that beer.
I was really busy, it was crazy here. My daughter and grandchildren came up here on Friday, and also my son.
I had thought I was finished with Christmas shopping, because, oh well, my children weren't speaking to me for about 4 years. Not saying that I had no communication with them, but since my divorce, and even before my divorce things were not ok between me and the kids.
When I left my exH, he totally turned the kids against me. I was hearing things from my kids, that, "at least he is finally nice to me".
Really long story here, but they started inviting him to all family functions, I was asking just to have half of them, I would get the half, where I would cook, clean, bring presents, and leave before the party started so that I would not run into my then soon to be ex.
What I went thru my my kids in the last 4 years, might even seem extreme on the Je rry Springer show.
I made it through of all that. They came to visit me, minus my youngest daughter, but things went well. Except for .............. My sons hobby is home brewing, so he bought beer with him that he made. I did have one. Not sorry about that. He was so proud of himself that he could do that and that it really did taste good. I had one with him, and it was really really good, but I stopped after that one. I drank that one to just appreciate the flavor, and the work he put into it. I did not have any cravings after that one. So I guess, I need to set my new sobriety date to 12/22/2012.
I would like to say that I have excuses, but I have none. I did have that beer.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
good to see you again Amy.
It's hard to respond to posts like yours sometimes cos... I mean... you're an adult woman. You can do what the heck you like
At the same time, I couldn't have done what you did.
Or rather, I did do what you did... lots... and I paid for it.
I found if I made one exemption to never drinking again, I was soon making another and another....'because last time was ok'....
and pretty soon I was back to square one.
Any time I forgot it was the *first* drink that did all the damage for me, I was lost.
I always found there was a second and a third drink to follow...often not right away which made it every more tricky to deal with...but always when I was least prepared for it, or most vulnerable.
I'm not trying to beat you up - I just want you to be prepared, like I never was, if you start to hear that old babble in your head....
D
It's hard to respond to posts like yours sometimes cos... I mean... you're an adult woman. You can do what the heck you like
At the same time, I couldn't have done what you did.
Or rather, I did do what you did... lots... and I paid for it.
I found if I made one exemption to never drinking again, I was soon making another and another....'because last time was ok'....
and pretty soon I was back to square one.
Any time I forgot it was the *first* drink that did all the damage for me, I was lost.
I always found there was a second and a third drink to follow...often not right away which made it every more tricky to deal with...but always when I was least prepared for it, or most vulnerable.
I'm not trying to beat you up - I just want you to be prepared, like I never was, if you start to hear that old babble in your head....
D
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
Amy, so sorry to read about the struggle you've had with your children over the years. It sounds like things are getting back on an even keel.
I'm sure your son really appreciated you sharing his new hobby. I remember my dad making beer in those demijohns one year when I was little. He only made it one time, perhaps because it tasted bad!
Have you told your son that you don't want any more beer gifts?
Have a great Christmas Amy.
S x
I'm sure your son really appreciated you sharing his new hobby. I remember my dad making beer in those demijohns one year when I was little. He only made it one time, perhaps because it tasted bad!
Have you told your son that you don't want any more beer gifts?
Have a great Christmas Amy.
S x
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
I tried to reply b4, but it told me that I needed at least one character or something like that.
I guess I don't feel that bad about having that one beer. It was really good. I drank it only because my son made it. I had no intention, or cravings to have more. It was a bad idea, but I am ok with it. I did pick up some beer for them to have when they came up, and I sent the remainder of it with them.
I drank it to enjoy something my son had made. I had no intention of drinking. And everything sounds like an excuse.
So back to day 2.
I guess I don't feel that bad about having that one beer. It was really good. I drank it only because my son made it. I had no intention, or cravings to have more. It was a bad idea, but I am ok with it. I did pick up some beer for them to have when they came up, and I sent the remainder of it with them.
I drank it to enjoy something my son had made. I had no intention of drinking. And everything sounds like an excuse.
So back to day 2.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Hi Amy, good to hear from you. You sound in a good place and like you plan to stick with your sobriety plan. Like D said, you are a grownup. You sound okay and you are being honest.
Thanks for the support last night everyone here and at 30 days. I was so tempted. still am. There is wine in the house. Hubby *forgot* to bring it to his sister's gathering on Friday night. he went overnight, as it is out of state. he had it hidden for my sake, so as not to tease, I am sure. And he forgot it. So, I know where it is. It is haunting me. It will go with us to a party on Thursday if I am successful in not touching it!
I will re-state that. It WILL go with us to Thursday's party!
I posted the following over in under 30 days, as I mistakenly replied here after reading both threads. But am leaving it here too, in case my thoughts are helpful to someone here as well:
Harley, while none of us need wine, it is a cultural fixture in society. So, I do think at certain times, it is harder to resist. The holiday, the stress, the business, the merriment, and the culture of drinking surrounding it. So, I do not need it, but I also do not need any cookies. But I have made about 5 varieties and 3 types of truffles. I gift them, and we enjoy them. We don't need any of it.
So, that logic is not always helpful to me. Just speaking f my own internal dialogue. I want to feel like I can have a bit of wine, like I have a few cookies, and then leave it until the next special occasion. At my stage of young sobriety, that is a very real struggle I have to go through, as opposed to shoving it aside. If I just shove it aside, it will still haunt me. Not sure if I am making sense. Kind of like weathering a storm, vs running away from it.
Thinking it through works for me right now. I really could have a drink or 2-3. And stop there. I am pretty sure if I went as far as 3, I will not sleep properly. I will wake and feel hot, or anxious, and be exhausted tomorrow. Especially since my tolerance will be low, after 32 days sober. So, now, it turns me off. I keep replaying that in my head each time I consider popping open some wine this evening after church.
Thanks for the support last night everyone here and at 30 days. I was so tempted. still am. There is wine in the house. Hubby *forgot* to bring it to his sister's gathering on Friday night. he went overnight, as it is out of state. he had it hidden for my sake, so as not to tease, I am sure. And he forgot it. So, I know where it is. It is haunting me. It will go with us to a party on Thursday if I am successful in not touching it!
I will re-state that. It WILL go with us to Thursday's party!
I posted the following over in under 30 days, as I mistakenly replied here after reading both threads. But am leaving it here too, in case my thoughts are helpful to someone here as well:
Harley, while none of us need wine, it is a cultural fixture in society. So, I do think at certain times, it is harder to resist. The holiday, the stress, the business, the merriment, and the culture of drinking surrounding it. So, I do not need it, but I also do not need any cookies. But I have made about 5 varieties and 3 types of truffles. I gift them, and we enjoy them. We don't need any of it.
So, that logic is not always helpful to me. Just speaking f my own internal dialogue. I want to feel like I can have a bit of wine, like I have a few cookies, and then leave it until the next special occasion. At my stage of young sobriety, that is a very real struggle I have to go through, as opposed to shoving it aside. If I just shove it aside, it will still haunt me. Not sure if I am making sense. Kind of like weathering a storm, vs running away from it.
Thinking it through works for me right now. I really could have a drink or 2-3. And stop there. I am pretty sure if I went as far as 3, I will not sleep properly. I will wake and feel hot, or anxious, and be exhausted tomorrow. Especially since my tolerance will be low, after 32 days sober. So, now, it turns me off. I keep replaying that in my head each time I consider popping open some wine this evening after church.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Here, there and everywhere
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Merry Christmas Eve to those who celebrate it! I had my first "drinking dream" last night. I was sitting at a beach bar drinking sparkling water and someone accidentally put a sparkling wine in my glass. After I took a big swig and realized what it was, I started sobbing. It seemed so real! I have heard of these dreams and they are mentioned in a few books I have read about alcoholism, etc
But I thought I was just lucky that I hadn't had any. Oh well. It was just a dream.
Hope everyone has a great day.
But I thought I was just lucky that I hadn't had any. Oh well. It was just a dream.
Hope everyone has a great day.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 536
Good morning! Amy, I am sorry about the thing with your kids. You are very brave for telling us about it. I had something similar to that after my mom passed away in 2004. I didn't see one of my sisters, or her kids for years. My sister thought since I was taking care of my mom, that I was mis-appropriating her inheritance. It got pretty ugly. One of my sister's kids had a baby. I saw the baby (my great-niece) when she was tiny, and didn't get to see her again until she turned five.
Every cloud has a silver lining. Thank goodness all is well now. They all came over Sunday for brunch. My niece appreciates me more than ever because of that, so there was something good that came out of a horrible situation. And my sister and I are friendly to each other when we see each other, but we don't make much of an effort to see or talk to each other outside of family gatherings, so that works out fine.
Amy, about that beer. I agree with what Dee said. I understand that your son was proud of his craft beer and wanted you to taste it. But if I let myself have one glass of wine, I am afraid that I would go back to a whole bottle very soon.
Rochele, When I was on this diet before, I put those egg muffins in the freezer, too! Then I popped one or two in the microwave for breakfast. I feel so decadent because they have real cream in them, and I am still losing weight.
Went to a good meeting last night. It was the candlelight one. I feel like I am starting to know people at this meeting. I brought the rest of the coconut cookies, and they were quickly scarfed up!
It is the only meeting I have gone to regularly. I am supposed to go to Church with my sponsor, and midnight mass with a friend of mine that was a nun at one time. Holy cow, this Jewish girl is getting some good old fashioned Christian religion
xxoxoxoxx
JunebugApril
Every cloud has a silver lining. Thank goodness all is well now. They all came over Sunday for brunch. My niece appreciates me more than ever because of that, so there was something good that came out of a horrible situation. And my sister and I are friendly to each other when we see each other, but we don't make much of an effort to see or talk to each other outside of family gatherings, so that works out fine.
Amy, about that beer. I agree with what Dee said. I understand that your son was proud of his craft beer and wanted you to taste it. But if I let myself have one glass of wine, I am afraid that I would go back to a whole bottle very soon.
Rochele, When I was on this diet before, I put those egg muffins in the freezer, too! Then I popped one or two in the microwave for breakfast. I feel so decadent because they have real cream in them, and I am still losing weight.
Went to a good meeting last night. It was the candlelight one. I feel like I am starting to know people at this meeting. I brought the rest of the coconut cookies, and they were quickly scarfed up!
It is the only meeting I have gone to regularly. I am supposed to go to Church with my sponsor, and midnight mass with a friend of mine that was a nun at one time. Holy cow, this Jewish girl is getting some good old fashioned Christian religion
xxoxoxoxx
JunebugApril
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Southern California
Posts: 365
Hi CON!!! Hope you all have a safe and sober Christmas Eve/Christmas...
Amy - Family situations are tough... We are going though a bunch of drama with my extended family which doesn't hurt quite as much, but it still hurts... I am so sorry you slipped but welcome you with open arms into the Class of December!!!
Rochele - Stay strong... Marine28 - I hate them too, but this too shall pass and at least they are not real, even if the seem sooooo real at the time... June - I love candlelights where I can just hideout and share from the heart...
Thanks to all you November class for leading the charge... I hope you all have a safe and sober Christmas Eve/Christmas... Or a happy 24/25 if Christmas is not your thing
Amy - Family situations are tough... We are going though a bunch of drama with my extended family which doesn't hurt quite as much, but it still hurts... I am so sorry you slipped but welcome you with open arms into the Class of December!!!
Rochele - Stay strong... Marine28 - I hate them too, but this too shall pass and at least they are not real, even if the seem sooooo real at the time... June - I love candlelights where I can just hideout and share from the heart...
Thanks to all you November class for leading the charge... I hope you all have a safe and sober Christmas Eve/Christmas... Or a happy 24/25 if Christmas is not your thing
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Denver, Colorado
Posts: 47
Originally Posted by veryready
Thanume - We have not gone up yet. It sounds better than I expected as it has been dry in the foothills. Where did you go?
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
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rochele, think it through !!!!!!
Ok, my update. I am still not feeling guilty about that beer. My fault, I did not tell my son that I was not drinking. He wanted to do something special for me. When he was growing up, I was the only one that complimented him on anything. I apologize if that may come across as somewhat b!tchy, but it is the truth. I had the beer so that I could tell him how good it was, (btw, it was really good).
I was cleaning up this morning, and oh wow, found another beer that he made. Last night I had thought it was an empty that I was saving the bottle for my friend. He collects beer bottles, for the labels, or whatever, I don't know. But this one was full.
So now I have this full bottle of beer. What to do?
So I took it, put it on my kitchen table and thought about it. Only had 2 thoughts going through my head, because the third choice of spilling it out was not an option. My son made this.
Option 1 ---- Well this one beer isn't going to be enough. I'm home all day alone, by myself, and I can just go and get a case of beer to back it up.
Option 2 ---- You know, your friend also does some home brewing, and he might really like this, especially the bottle it is in, and he can add that to his collection.
Soooooooo, went for option #2, also called my friends wife to tell her about that bottle and that I would be giving it to her husband, just to make sure, that I do not drink it, and then go back to option #1.
Ok, my update. I am still not feeling guilty about that beer. My fault, I did not tell my son that I was not drinking. He wanted to do something special for me. When he was growing up, I was the only one that complimented him on anything. I apologize if that may come across as somewhat b!tchy, but it is the truth. I had the beer so that I could tell him how good it was, (btw, it was really good).
I was cleaning up this morning, and oh wow, found another beer that he made. Last night I had thought it was an empty that I was saving the bottle for my friend. He collects beer bottles, for the labels, or whatever, I don't know. But this one was full.
So now I have this full bottle of beer. What to do?
So I took it, put it on my kitchen table and thought about it. Only had 2 thoughts going through my head, because the third choice of spilling it out was not an option. My son made this.
Option 1 ---- Well this one beer isn't going to be enough. I'm home all day alone, by myself, and I can just go and get a case of beer to back it up.
Option 2 ---- You know, your friend also does some home brewing, and he might really like this, especially the bottle it is in, and he can add that to his collection.
Soooooooo, went for option #2, also called my friends wife to tell her about that bottle and that I would be giving it to her husband, just to make sure, that I do not drink it, and then go back to option #1.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: UT
Posts: 161
There's a lot of alcohol being consumed at my house since my daughter and her husband arrived....it's hard not to join in. Even my own motherinlaw is having a Margarita!
I am so happy they made it after 16 hours of driving on ice and snow, but I am bummed because my son and his wife and gkids arent driving up for Christmas Eve dinner with us. They only live 20 minutes away. My daughter in law said it was just too much trouble to drive up, drive back, and drive up and back again tomorrow. *sigh* I am more than disappointed; I am hurt that we are not important enough... I got the message.... my husband says I am overeacting and it's not the end of the world. Thanks! I planned dinner this evening to include them btw. She said we talked about this and we did, but when we talked, it was to say that they wouldnt be spending the night tonight, not that they weren't coming at all. It's stuff like this that makes me want to drink .
I will get over it I know. I just dont want it to ruin the time I have with the family that IS here.
Happy Holidays everyone!
I am so happy they made it after 16 hours of driving on ice and snow, but I am bummed because my son and his wife and gkids arent driving up for Christmas Eve dinner with us. They only live 20 minutes away. My daughter in law said it was just too much trouble to drive up, drive back, and drive up and back again tomorrow. *sigh* I am more than disappointed; I am hurt that we are not important enough... I got the message.... my husband says I am overeacting and it's not the end of the world. Thanks! I planned dinner this evening to include them btw. She said we talked about this and we did, but when we talked, it was to say that they wouldnt be spending the night tonight, not that they weren't coming at all. It's stuff like this that makes me want to drink .
I will get over it I know. I just dont want it to ruin the time I have with the family that IS here.
Happy Holidays everyone!
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
Good evening everyone. I'm on day 60 Christmas Day, not today as I previously mentioned. I got my dates wrong when I checked my app. I'm all ready for my friends' house tomorrow. All the presents are wrapped and I have my Christmas outfit (I always buy something new to wear, does anyone else?)
Wishing you all a Merry Christmas!
S x
Wishing you all a Merry Christmas!
S x
Recognizes the Beast
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
Congrats on 60 Saz! You continue to make the rest of us envious 
June, have to try that egg muffin recipe some, sounds delish.
Thanume, after reading your post of roast duck, I immediately went on Youtube and looked up a recipe.
Amy, take care. I guess most of us are worried because for me anyways, one drink usually leads to another somewhere down the line. However as long as you feel good about your intentions nothing else matters.
Reading this thread (yay, the fifth one Novies!) got me thinking a little bit about all the different issues we each face. I know most of you feel mentally great since getting sober. I, on the other hand, have been down in the dumps more often than not.
However, I haven't really struggled with being around alcohol. My wife still drinks wine, and now down at my parents house for the holidays everybody is drinking but me. But it has been extremely easy to not drink so far....so far. Not even close to being tempted. And then I think that that is alcoholism being sneaky and making me overconfident, lulling me into a false sense of security.
Guess I'm just muttering out loud. Merry Christmas again everyone. Keep staying strong and sober!
June, have to try that egg muffin recipe some, sounds delish.
Thanume, after reading your post of roast duck, I immediately went on Youtube and looked up a recipe.
Amy, take care. I guess most of us are worried because for me anyways, one drink usually leads to another somewhere down the line. However as long as you feel good about your intentions nothing else matters.
Reading this thread (yay, the fifth one Novies!) got me thinking a little bit about all the different issues we each face. I know most of you feel mentally great since getting sober. I, on the other hand, have been down in the dumps more often than not.
However, I haven't really struggled with being around alcohol. My wife still drinks wine, and now down at my parents house for the holidays everybody is drinking but me. But it has been extremely easy to not drink so far....so far. Not even close to being tempted. And then I think that that is alcoholism being sneaky and making me overconfident, lulling me into a false sense of security.
Guess I'm just muttering out loud. Merry Christmas again everyone. Keep staying strong and sober!
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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Nikki - try to focus on the fact that your daughter drove 16 hours through a snowstorm to see you and you will still see your son tomorrow. Don't let it upset you. At least you will see them. My brother and his family live 4 houses down from my Mother and aren't seeing her till tomorrow. She emailed me that she rented Bad Santa and then was going to bed. She will see them tomorrow. Who knows why some sons and daughters do what they do, right?
I went out to dinner with the two ladies staying in the condo next to mine. They each had one gin and tonic here at the condo before dinner. When we got to the restaurant, they just drank water, saying they'd already had "too much". SIGH. There is the glaring difference between an alcoholic and a non-alcoholic. Right there. The ability to have just one.
Oh well. Merry Christmas everyone!
I went out to dinner with the two ladies staying in the condo next to mine. They each had one gin and tonic here at the condo before dinner. When we got to the restaurant, they just drank water, saying they'd already had "too much". SIGH. There is the glaring difference between an alcoholic and a non-alcoholic. Right there. The ability to have just one.
Oh well. Merry Christmas everyone!
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