Sazzle

Great stuff on the 30 days Rochele! I love a big landmark as it helps with urges. I genuinely don't want to break my run. I got an urge alone, and I was never a solo drinker. I think it was the sneaky AV saying no one would know, just like you experienced.

You rock!!

To get me through Christmas and new year my next landmark is 100 days. I'm trying to shift my thinking from, wow I've done xx days I could drink just one to, I'll wait till the next milestone.

I feel the best I have in 58 days today. I'm excited about Christmas and seeing my family Sunday. I'm literally giddy with excitement.

S x

Sazzle

Nomis, Merry Christmas to you too!

On a side note, I had inadvertently upped my coffee intake as a direct result if quitting booze. I was getting the same anxiety so I've switched to one good coffee mid morning and the occasional one after a meal. I much prefer mint tea after dinner now. Perhaps you've done similar? I got the same pounding heart and anxiety from coffee that alcohol gave me and it didn't feel nice.

S x

ZombieAttack

Been working on updating my sports clubs website the last few days.

It is all coming together now.

Nice

Marine28

Good Morning, everyone.

I also have upped my coffee intake since quitting. I am drinking at least 3 cups of regular coffee in the morning and then I have one decaf after dinner. I figure it is waaayyy better than the bottle and a half of wine I was having per day back when I drank.

I think I mentioned I am currently on vacation in a tropical place that I have come to every year for almost 15 years. This is the third year, though, without my husband. After his death, I didn't think I would come back, but it a place of many great memories, some sober and some not so sober I might add.

As I was eating at the bar in a restaurant last night having my sparkling water and lime, a couple came up and sat down next to me. They only ordered a water "because they were going to have A DRINK with their dinner." I was so jealous. I thought why can't I be like THEM, be able to have A DRINK, and then stop. But I can't. I don't stop after just A DRINK. I keep going and going and going just like I did the night of the DUI. I set out that night to have "just one drink."

Watching the bartender make martini after martini after martini got me to thinking about just how much alcohol became a central figure in my daily routine. I was becoming a person who I read about in the Big Book, one who started to build their routine around having a drink. It is very prevalent to me while on vacation. Starting at Noon -- hey, it's five o'clock somewhere, right? Having a slight buzz on all day -- hey, it's vacation. Taking a bottle of chardonnay down to the beach instead of bottled water or soda -- hey, it's vacation. I had a few cravings when I got back to the apartment last night - that was a routine we always had. Crack open a bottle and have a few glasses out on the balcony before going to bed. But I had club soda and lime out on my deck and even though I slept till 10:00am, it was because I was TIRED and not hungover. Something to be said about that. And I got up and did not have to immediately lie down because I was nauseous.

Hope everyone has a great weekend and get all of your last minute shopping done!

Nikkipoo

Zombie, I have always thought the alcohol burn off with cooking and just left flavor in the food....

Nikkipoo

Hooray for us Rochele on our 30th day!
Marine, I saw at the Chopra site that the 21 day mediation course cost $$$.
Thanks June for the link to the free one...I will go there after I finish posting here. I really appreciate the info on the diet as well and how well it's working for you. I am actually using a program called Diet Power. It's very thorough. I have to record everything I eat so those sugar calories add up. I just havent done a very good job of resisting sugary treats over this last week. I am also having dull headachs. Maybe that's Paws ....
Dee, I always thought alcohol burned out of food when cooked. Thanks for that link. I was going to make some cheese fondue in a few days that calls for white wine. I guess I have to find an alternative.
I am bummed this morning because my daughter had to turn around yesterday from a planned road trip to see us due to weather and road conditions in northern CA. They got 2 feet at their place, more is expected today and tomorrow. Unfortunately that storm is expected to arrive here on Christmas Eve, so they would be following it all the way here too. It would be the first time ever that we havent had Christmas together! I am going to try to attach a picture below. At least we will have the grandkids tonight to have some fun with and that always cheers me up.

AnotherPaul

Weekend errand list: Haircut, trips to post office and UPS office to pick up packages they tried to deliver while I was at work, shopping for two gift cards and three presents for cousin's kids, grocery store, weights today and cardio tomorrow, about five loads of laundry, and a minimum of two AA meetings.

Not much, if any, of that would get done if I were still a drunk this weekend. It's nice to be clear-headed and have energy!

Have a great sober weekend everybody.

Thanume

Yes, I am we'll aware of the "quality" of blended Canadian schwill. You just reminded me that several years ago, I decided to buy some whiskey for the holidays. I somehow hatched the plan to buy the biggest jug of Canadian crap I could, because- what a bargain! I decided the wife would not approve of the quantity of my purchase, so I stashed it in the garage for later. I came up with so many garage projects & there was always wood to be chopped, I never kept the house (or my gut) so warm! This was the first time I had hidden a bottle (not the first time drinking in secret) & eventually was discovered after bottle caps were also found in the car. I felt so ashamed & vowed to my spouse & myself I would never do it again, I didn't "need" to do that, it was stupid! That was the very beginning of years of hidden stashes, refilled bottles, swapped out bottles, bottles temporarily filled with water, or colored liquid, empty beer bottles placed back in the six pack with their caps on, shooters pounded when nobody was looking, cash or multiple cards used to hide purchases, etc., etc. Even though I still get strong cravings & long to be the "normal" drinker like Marine28, or many of us long to be, I am thankful that I have chosen to live a "normal" life that does not include hiding, lying & the anxiety & disappointment attached.

You might be an alcoholic if........You take pliers to yank out the flow regulator from your giant plastic Canadian whiskey jug, so you can chug it in secret in your garage in freezing temperatures.

Sisterella

Marine... I had this SAME thought last night. We had taken my in-laws out to dinner here in Panama and I was looking around at all the people having just A DRINK. And my in-laws with a pitcher of Sangria .. The afternoon rum and cokes with them here.

But I also started to notice the number of people who don't drink and realized a lot of people don't. Oh course they probably don't obsess over it..

.... Last night I had a bit of a break through. The end of the night I was sober, and HAPPY about it (no poor me, no bitterness). I even told my husband when we got home... "You know it's REALLY nice to not be going through my usual routine of asking..'Did I say anything stupid?'."

I understand how difficult it would be on vacation.... Hang in there! We are all pulling for you!

Junebugapril

Marine, great post, thank you. So true that so much of our lives revolved around booze!

On hiding stuff: I am embarrassed to say that when my mom passed away in 2004, I kept her wedding and engagement rings to pass on to my great-niece when she gets married. I put the rings safely away in a hidden spot. And now I have no clue where I hid them! Haven't found them since I put them away eight years ago. Jeez, am I a dork or what?

I had a bad reaction to an early morning AA meeting today. The people were educated older professionals. At first, everyone seemed very kind. One woman even mentioned how great she felt when she welcomed newcomers.

Guess what? After the meeting, I stood around for around five or ten minutes, and everyone gathered in little groups, talking to each other and inviting each other out to breakfast. Not one person came up to me to welcome me. Not one person said anythng to me or even glanced my way.

This is the first time this ever happened at a meeting. I had said it was my first time at this meeting when asked, and said that I have a 30 day anniversary when they asked for anniversaries. I decided to leave, feeling like I had cooties or something! I went up to the woman who was collecting the money, and I told her that not one person approached me.

She said "This is a program of attraction".

I never felt so bad after a meeting. I live in a fairly wealthy suburb, but it is very mixed. We have poor people in my suburb too, blacks, whites, Hispanics. This meeting was in the next suburb over. This suburb is lily white and prosperous. It's the same suburb shown in the movies Home Alone and Risky Business. I think I look like a regular person. Maybe it was something I said.

Ugh! What an awful feeling!!!

Marine28

Nikki - the site will offer the meditation for free every couple months for a 21-day period. Just keep checking back. I liked it so much that I did pay for it when it was done so I could always have it.
June - don't let that one AA meeting get you down. I had that happen to me, too. in fact, it was at a meeting where I had previously felt welcome. Just find another one. I have found that for the most part, people are very welcoming. Occasionally I find a "snooty" group and I just don't go back.

Wifi

Hello to all my November friends... I sounds like you guys are doing good!!! Just wanted to stop in and thank you for giving those of us behind you the inspiration to continue...

June - Don't let that one meeting get you down... Before you know it you will have more AA friends then you can count on and will rarely attend a meeting where you don't know someone... By the way I have been there, but as they say.... I just keep coming back...

Nikkipoo

Marine, I did sign up to receive notification on the next free one. I think its in January.
Thanks for the info.

Nikkipoo

So sorry about the way people treated you at the meeting June. Are you comfortable approaching them instead? When I went to meetings, I tried to remember people who had said things that I related to so that afterwards I had an excuse to make a comment to them.

Dee74

congratulations Rochele

D

phoebe64

Thanks Dee.

June, how awful! "This is a program of attraction?" I am sorry, but I find that downright rude. How unfortunate you had that experience.

Sazzle

Here here! I am in love with my to-do lists. It's a million miles away from my hangover days of crawling out of bed at 2pm, doing nothing or celebrating if I managed to put the dishwasher on....with a glass of wine before heading out to the pub.

Sometimes I wake up and wonder 'Who am I?!'

I've got lots of errands and 2 dishes to cook for my party tomorrow afternoon. I'm getting up at 6:20 as usual and looking forward to it.

S x

Sazzle

June, so sorry to hear of your bad experience. I suppose, just as in all walks of life, there's good and bad in everything. I'm also intruded reading Nikkipoos comments about your diet. I must have missed that post, so I'll have to back track as I'm now fed up of being fat!

S x

Dee74

time for a new thread everyone.

join us here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-5-a.html

D