Class Of November 2012 - Part 4
2 detoxes down, 0 to go
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 284
Hmmmm. The new job is having a Christmas party this weekend. I have not been in the same room with people drinking a single time in these 25 days of sobriety.
Obviously I can't avoid such situations forever (my family will all be drinking at Christmas barely a week after this work function) and I really don't expect to want to drink. Might want a drink, but won't want to drink. And these brand new coworkers have never seen me drink, or even outside the office at all for that matter, so none of them will think anything of it if I just order iced tea and eat the free food and mingle for an hour or two.
The plan is to go to an AA meeting shortly before and another shortly after this minor test of will, just to be safe.
Hope all are well tonight.
Obviously I can't avoid such situations forever (my family will all be drinking at Christmas barely a week after this work function) and I really don't expect to want to drink. Might want a drink, but won't want to drink. And these brand new coworkers have never seen me drink, or even outside the office at all for that matter, so none of them will think anything of it if I just order iced tea and eat the free food and mingle for an hour or two.
The plan is to go to an AA meeting shortly before and another shortly after this minor test of will, just to be safe.
Hope all are well tonight.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Amy, I think I missed wishing you a Happy Birthday! So, Happy Belated Birthday!
Paul, that sounds like a good plan. Also, it is great to have a fresh start with people who do not know if you drink or not. No-one will pressure you or wonder why you are *not* drinking. You may find some sober friends too. Look for the folks who are also not drinking. Where it is a new job, everyone is new to you, right? You can target connections that are sober.
Good luck.
********************
Just today, I had an experience twice. The same feeling. Driving a road where I had an option to go buy wine at the crazy stooopid expensive place I would use only because it was very close to home and convenient. I was trying to keep wine out of the house and only buying a bit if I had the "need." Anyway, as o drove, I had a brief thought about a glass of wine, and how nice it would be while I chilled with mt TV show tonight. I thought about the light buzz, and it actually turned me off. I felt like it held no appeal, and was actually turned off by the thought of it.
This is good.
Paul, that sounds like a good plan. Also, it is great to have a fresh start with people who do not know if you drink or not. No-one will pressure you or wonder why you are *not* drinking. You may find some sober friends too. Look for the folks who are also not drinking. Where it is a new job, everyone is new to you, right? You can target connections that are sober.
Good luck.
********************
Just today, I had an experience twice. The same feeling. Driving a road where I had an option to go buy wine at the crazy stooopid expensive place I would use only because it was very close to home and convenient. I was trying to keep wine out of the house and only buying a bit if I had the "need." Anyway, as o drove, I had a brief thought about a glass of wine, and how nice it would be while I chilled with mt TV show tonight. I thought about the light buzz, and it actually turned me off. I felt like it held no appeal, and was actually turned off by the thought of it.
This is good.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Silver Spring, Maryland
Posts: 198
ugh..
Back to day one. I think I will go on the December thread, since I have to start at square one. A rough couple of days. Going to a meeting on Saturday. I wish you all well and Thank you so much for your support. I will check back here again. Good luck
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 536
I'm so excited! The Quad A meeting was the shiznit! First of all, cross talking is encouraged. So people can and do respond to what other people say. That got an A+ right away. We talked about how it we don't have to give it up to a higher power. We talked about being responsible for picking up that first drink ourselves. A lot of the people in this meeting felt as squeamish and uncomfortable in the standard AA meetings as I did. Finally, I felt at home in a meeting.
I found out that there are other Quad A groups that follow steps, but this one doesn't. It's mostly just a bunch of alcoholics and addicts supporting each other to stay sober.
I found out that there are other Quad A groups that follow steps, but this one doesn't. It's mostly just a bunch of alcoholics and addicts supporting each other to stay sober.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 536
Originally Posted by rochele 
... I thought about the light buzz, and it actually turned me off. I felt like it held no appeal, and was actually turned off by the thought of it.
This is good.
This is good.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 536
Originally Posted by wino1234
Back to day one. I think I will go on the December thread, since I have to start at square one. A rough couple of days. Going to a meeting on Saturday. I wish you all well and Thank you so much for your support. I will check back here again. Good luck
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Southern California
Posts: 365
Originally Posted by Junebugapril
I'm so excited! The Quad A meeting was the shiznit! First of all, cross talking is encouraged. So people can and do respond to what other people say. That got an A+ right away. We talked about how it we don't have to give it up to a higher power. We talked about being responsible for picking up that first drink ourselves. A lot of the people in this meeting felt as squeamish and uncomfortable in the standard AA meetings as I did. Finally, I felt at home in a meeting.
I found out that there are other Quad A groups that follow steps, but this one doesn't. It's mostly just a bunch of alcoholics and addicts supporting each other to stay sober.
I found out that there are other Quad A groups that follow steps, but this one doesn't. It's mostly just a bunch of alcoholics and addicts supporting each other to stay sober.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Sacramento CA
Posts: 19
AnotherPaul--Yes aren't the holidays a great time to get sober! (sober date me = 11/14/12 now 30 days)--I have been going to holiday events early (before the hardcore drinkers really get going) and leaving early as well to make an AA meeting--been working so far...Good luck!
I'm Wide Awake
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 766
Good morning, I have to catch up here. Today is 30 days for me!! I haven’t been counting days, but when I woke up this morning and realized I made it to this milestone, I was really happy, so here’s my little bunny dance to celebrate! 
Thanks to all of you for your honesty and support in this group and thanks to Dee for you insight into this journey, which is invaluable.
Amy, happy birthday a few days late!! Sounds like you had a great evening.
June, I hope you do find some relief from your back pain. I’m glad you found a meeting that you liked!
AnotherPaul, I echo what Rochele and other say about being able to start over with this new group of co-workers and have them only see you as a non-drinker. Sounds like you have good plan with meetings on either end of the party.
A big hello to everyone else, including the new folks who have posted recently. Good to hear from you Wino and Wifi – you are always welcome here.
I realized today that I really am seeing a difference in my bank account now that I’m not buying wine. Hubby finally got paid so he was able replace the money from my paycheck that we used earlier this month. Mind you, I don’t have a lot, but it’s more than I would normally have and that’s with already buying my daughter a camera for Christmas. I am excited that we might actually be able to build some savings in 2013. Just another bonus of this sober life.
My plans for the weekend changed slightly because my cousin is coming to visit so we’ll skip the neighborhood party. I only have 1 cousin and he was born when I was 15, so he’s young and a lot of fun. I only see him every few years because he lives on the west coast. I think we’re going to go bowling on Saturday night. My neighbor said I should stop by the party when we get home, but that would be a mistake because by then most will have had plenty to drink and since I normally was drinking with them in the past, they would really pressure me. Got to stay away from that for now.
I hope everyone has a great and sober weekend!
Thanks to all of you for your honesty and support in this group and thanks to Dee for you insight into this journey, which is invaluable.
Amy, happy birthday a few days late!! Sounds like you had a great evening.
June, I hope you do find some relief from your back pain. I’m glad you found a meeting that you liked!
AnotherPaul, I echo what Rochele and other say about being able to start over with this new group of co-workers and have them only see you as a non-drinker. Sounds like you have good plan with meetings on either end of the party.
A big hello to everyone else, including the new folks who have posted recently. Good to hear from you Wino and Wifi – you are always welcome here.
I realized today that I really am seeing a difference in my bank account now that I’m not buying wine. Hubby finally got paid so he was able replace the money from my paycheck that we used earlier this month. Mind you, I don’t have a lot, but it’s more than I would normally have and that’s with already buying my daughter a camera for Christmas. I am excited that we might actually be able to build some savings in 2013. Just another bonus of this sober life.
My plans for the weekend changed slightly because my cousin is coming to visit so we’ll skip the neighborhood party. I only have 1 cousin and he was born when I was 15, so he’s young and a lot of fun. I only see him every few years because he lives on the west coast. I think we’re going to go bowling on Saturday night. My neighbor said I should stop by the party when we get home, but that would be a mistake because by then most will have had plenty to drink and since I normally was drinking with them in the past, they would really pressure me. Got to stay away from that for now.
I hope everyone has a great and sober weekend!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 1,372
Good morning all. Earlier this week I was having one big pity party, sorry I didn't invite you all, but really you would NOT have wanted to attend. I'm feeling much better, so thought I'd share a few thoughts of what I learned about myself....
I have a very hard time asking for and accepting help, even from my own husband, sisters, from everyone. I'll be in pain and put a smile on my face so as not to inconvenience anyone else.
I don't let other people know how I'm feeling, again just keep smiling. Don't make anyone else feel bad, I keep it all inside.
Because I do these things I let things build up, I get overwhelmed and down. I used alcohol to hide from these feelings, to make it easier to keep smiling (until it wasn't).
So, I was tested Monday and Tuesday. I had a shoulder injury, I had parent teacher conferences (strangely they are a huge trigger, I get very anxious b/c my one son really struggles in school), super busy at work and Monday was super crappy on top, teenager issues with my oldest son (mentally exhausting!), and Christmas to top it off. My self pity was in full swing, I sobbed and started thinking "no one helps me, I can't take anymore, I need a drink", "I worked so hard to be sober and now look what's happened, nothing is going right, I might as well just drink", "I need to drink tonight...my shoulder hurts, I'm miserable". Well I'm happy to report that I put my strategies to work and got my head back into it. I knew drinking was not going to solve any of my problems, it would just add one more thing to the list of reasons to feel sorry for myself. I faced the isssues, saw a specialist for my shoulder, worked late so as not to feel overwhelmed by my workload, went into my parent teacher conference with a fresh attitude and had a good talk with the teacher, had my husband take on some things and for the other things that are beyond my control I took a deep breath and did my best. I feel like I passed a test, I didn't allow myself to entertain or give in to those thoughts that I knew just weren't true. Also realized I need to work on some things, make some changes to myself so I'm not going down that self pity road (it's a dangerous one to follow). 41 days today.
Have a great day everyone - if weekends are hard for you - make a plan and be ready to do what you know you have to do to stick with it.
I have a very hard time asking for and accepting help, even from my own husband, sisters, from everyone. I'll be in pain and put a smile on my face so as not to inconvenience anyone else.
I don't let other people know how I'm feeling, again just keep smiling. Don't make anyone else feel bad, I keep it all inside.
Because I do these things I let things build up, I get overwhelmed and down. I used alcohol to hide from these feelings, to make it easier to keep smiling (until it wasn't).
So, I was tested Monday and Tuesday. I had a shoulder injury, I had parent teacher conferences (strangely they are a huge trigger, I get very anxious b/c my one son really struggles in school), super busy at work and Monday was super crappy on top, teenager issues with my oldest son (mentally exhausting!), and Christmas to top it off. My self pity was in full swing, I sobbed and started thinking "no one helps me, I can't take anymore, I need a drink", "I worked so hard to be sober and now look what's happened, nothing is going right, I might as well just drink", "I need to drink tonight...my shoulder hurts, I'm miserable". Well I'm happy to report that I put my strategies to work and got my head back into it. I knew drinking was not going to solve any of my problems, it would just add one more thing to the list of reasons to feel sorry for myself. I faced the isssues, saw a specialist for my shoulder, worked late so as not to feel overwhelmed by my workload, went into my parent teacher conference with a fresh attitude and had a good talk with the teacher, had my husband take on some things and for the other things that are beyond my control I took a deep breath and did my best. I feel like I passed a test, I didn't allow myself to entertain or give in to those thoughts that I knew just weren't true. Also realized I need to work on some things, make some changes to myself so I'm not going down that self pity road (it's a dangerous one to follow). 41 days today.
Have a great day everyone - if weekends are hard for you - make a plan and be ready to do what you know you have to do to stick with it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Yay, Charleesavedme! Well done on 30 days!
FMFT, sorry you had such a tough week, but great you muscled through it. I hope your shoulder feels better quickly.
Great to see you posting Wifi, and Wino!
Welcome to new members posting!
FMFT, sorry you had such a tough week, but great you muscled through it. I hope your shoulder feels better quickly.
Great to see you posting Wifi, and Wino!
Welcome to new members posting!
I'm Wide Awake
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 766
FMTM - I understand how you feel and also have a hard time asking for help.
My son can have issues in school too and it is very stressful to talk to teachers because I recognize my son's issues, but am also extremely protective of him. Last year he had a teacher that by the end of the year, I could only meet with if the principal was there.
Not to digress to my issues - just to say that congratulations for handling things without drinking even though you were in a very dark place. You are inspirational!
My son can have issues in school too and it is very stressful to talk to teachers because I recognize my son's issues, but am also extremely protective of him. Last year he had a teacher that by the end of the year, I could only meet with if the principal was there.
Not to digress to my issues - just to say that congratulations for handling things without drinking even though you were in a very dark place. You are inspirational!
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 536
ForMeForThem, wow, I am so impressed at how you handled those issues. You pulled out strategies to keep yourself from drinking. Can you share with us what some of those strategies are? That would be helpful for all of us.
I can kind of relate with keeping a smile on your face when you are crying inside. I imagine that's how show people do "the show must go on" through all kinds of personal tragedies in their lives.
Sometimes I wish I were more like that. I'd like to keep a smile on my face and hide what I am feeling, but I am not good at that. I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve, let them out, and face the consequences of alienating people. I do tend to p1ss people off. Sometimes we make up and feel closer than we ever did. Other times, they just stay away from me. People either really like me a lot, or they can't stand me. And I am okay with that.
I am going to try a regular AA meeting tonight. I hope I can stay up that late, it's a 10pm candlelight meeting.
I can kind of relate with keeping a smile on your face when you are crying inside. I imagine that's how show people do "the show must go on" through all kinds of personal tragedies in their lives.
Sometimes I wish I were more like that. I'd like to keep a smile on my face and hide what I am feeling, but I am not good at that. I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve, let them out, and face the consequences of alienating people. I do tend to p1ss people off. Sometimes we make up and feel closer than we ever did. Other times, they just stay away from me. People either really like me a lot, or they can't stand me. And I am okay with that.
I am going to try a regular AA meeting tonight. I hope I can stay up that late, it's a 10pm candlelight meeting.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
Hi June, I think you really are amazing. You are not giving up on meetings enjoy your candlelight meeting. The Quad one sounds interesting too. I'm wondering if ther do them in the UK. I'm enjoying AA but I do like a lot of tools in my arsenal!
Charleee congrats on the 30 days! Good stuff.
And FMFT, sorry to hear about your recent pity party. It sounds like you are well prepared. You've reminded me to get a plan this weekend. I'm doing well but need a plan for tomorrow night.
**************
I've just got in from a great night out with friends at the Moroccan restaurant I booked. In the end it was only myself and 3 of the guys who could make it. I've never been out with just three men before lol, but it was great. The restaurant has a lovely cocktail of cranberry, lemonade, rose water and fresh mint which was very special.
The fact I wasn't drinking wasn't the focus of the night and they were all such fun company.
Looking forward to chilling tomorrow (movie and tidy day) but for now I have a nice bed to get into!!
S x
Charleee congrats on the 30 days! Good stuff.
And FMFT, sorry to hear about your recent pity party. It sounds like you are well prepared. You've reminded me to get a plan this weekend. I'm doing well but need a plan for tomorrow night.
**************
I've just got in from a great night out with friends at the Moroccan restaurant I booked. In the end it was only myself and 3 of the guys who could make it. I've never been out with just three men before lol, but it was great. The restaurant has a lovely cocktail of cranberry, lemonade, rose water and fresh mint which was very special.
The fact I wasn't drinking wasn't the focus of the night and they were all such fun company.
Looking forward to chilling tomorrow (movie and tidy day) but for now I have a nice bed to get into!!
S x
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 536
Thanks Sazzle!!! Not sure if this is Quad A, but it looks similar Getting sober without God - Agnostic AA - London South & Home Counties
Charlee, HUGE congrats on 30 days. I will have 30 days soon too! Today is Day 28 for me
I went to an earlier meeting tonight. Just a regular AA meeting. I actually met another woman there who is also newly sober, she quit drinking after Thanksgiving. It seems like most of the people I see at meetings have been going to AA for years, so it was nice to talk to someone who was new like me. She also said that when they do the Lord's Prayer, she cringes. Yay, I'm not the only one!
Hugs to my Novie friends, have we dwindled in number or do I yap too much and y'all are staying away?
Charlee, HUGE congrats on 30 days. I will have 30 days soon too! Today is Day 28 for me
I went to an earlier meeting tonight. Just a regular AA meeting. I actually met another woman there who is also newly sober, she quit drinking after Thanksgiving. It seems like most of the people I see at meetings have been going to AA for years, so it was nice to talk to someone who was new like me. She also said that when they do the Lord's Prayer, she cringes. Yay, I'm not the only one!
Hugs to my Novie friends, have we dwindled in number or do I yap too much and y'all are staying away?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Denver, Colorado
Posts: 47
Tonight I discovered the secret to soberly surviving a work Xmas party....just get yourself a massive head cold!! I absolutely had no cravings or uncomfortability being around liquor, or smelling it on people. Funny thing is I was sick at last years party too, but convinced myself that hot toddys & whiskey would somehow be a good cure all (they're not). I got to spend some good time with my wife, got home early/safely & am going to bed with a clear conscience. Good luck to everyone this weekend!!
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