"30 Days and Under Part 3"... Come & encourage them!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 1,372
Good morning all - day 29 today!
Midnight- thanks for that link, I've started reading on the site and will continue today, I think it will be quite useful. I have to learn to deal with those moments without automatically thinking of drinking, which was my coping mechanism (but we all know that's not really coping, it's just numbing).
EQ-I love your analogy about early sobriety and a toddler. I've had much experience with toddlers and would do all the things you mentioned for them, now it's time to put those to work for myself! That is what it's like. You have a wonderful way with words.
Grace - so glad you had a nice day for yourself, you deserve it. Way to go on walking right by that mulled wine. Sounds really pretty there.
To everyone else - have a great sober Sunday and thanks for all the posts, I look forward to hearing about each and everyone one of you!
Midnight- thanks for that link, I've started reading on the site and will continue today, I think it will be quite useful. I have to learn to deal with those moments without automatically thinking of drinking, which was my coping mechanism (but we all know that's not really coping, it's just numbing).
EQ-I love your analogy about early sobriety and a toddler. I've had much experience with toddlers and would do all the things you mentioned for them, now it's time to put those to work for myself! That is what it's like. You have a wonderful way with words.
Grace - so glad you had a nice day for yourself, you deserve it. Way to go on walking right by that mulled wine. Sounds really pretty there.
To everyone else - have a great sober Sunday and thanks for all the posts, I look forward to hearing about each and everyone one of you!
"Why So Serious?"
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Framingham, MA
Posts: 522
Hman - I can't stand when I'm asked that question. And normally I don't answer with a calm, "No... I'm not." It's usually, "No! God, I'm so sick of everyone assuming that!" in a nasty tone.
Grace - NO! That's not me! LOL. I wish. That's Brad Pitt as Tyler Durden in "Fight Club". If you dare to click on my profile you can see a pic of me though
Prepare for disappointment!
Day 19 here. Had plans to go to church with a friend but I'm gonna pass on that. I was up in the air on it in the first place and I'm just not in a churchy mood today. I'm just gonna relax and watch some football. And by "some" I mean about 10 hours worth
Grace - NO! That's not me! LOL. I wish. That's Brad Pitt as Tyler Durden in "Fight Club". If you dare to click on my profile you can see a pic of me though
Prepare for disappointment!Day 19 here. Had plans to go to church with a friend but I'm gonna pass on that. I was up in the air on it in the first place and I'm just not in a churchy mood today. I'm just gonna relax and watch some football. And by "some" I mean about 10 hours worth
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
Happy Sunday 30s! Thanks for letting me contribute to your thread.
Someone upthread mentioned triggers. That's true for me with my Christmas decorations. Opening the boxes would bring a flood of uncomfortable memories. And....I would drink to numb those feelings out. So for the past two years I made the bold, courageous choice of not decorating. What a relief! What freedom!
Just because "We've Always Done It This Way" doesn't mean I have to do it.
Sometimes the kindest thing to do is not to do something. My first sober Christmas, my kindest action was to stay home, snuggly and safely sober, resting my body.
Someone upthread mentioned triggers. That's true for me with my Christmas decorations. Opening the boxes would bring a flood of uncomfortable memories. And....I would drink to numb those feelings out. So for the past two years I made the bold, courageous choice of not decorating. What a relief! What freedom!
Just because "We've Always Done It This Way" doesn't mean I have to do it.
Sometimes the kindest thing to do is not to do something. My first sober Christmas, my kindest action was to stay home, snuggly and safely sober, resting my body.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 1,372
Originally Posted by frances2011 
Happy Sunday 30s! Thanks for letting me contribute to your thread.
Someone upthread mentioned triggers. That's true for me with my Christmas decorations. Opening the boxes would bring a flood of uncomfortable memories. And....I would drink to numb those feelings out. So for the past two years I made the bold, courageous choice of not decorating. What a relief! What freedom!
Just because "We've Always Done It This Way" doesn't mean I have to do it.
Sometimes the kindest thing to do is not to do something. My first sober Christmas, my kindest action was to stay home, snuggly and safely sober, resting my body.
Someone upthread mentioned triggers. That's true for me with my Christmas decorations. Opening the boxes would bring a flood of uncomfortable memories. And....I would drink to numb those feelings out. So for the past two years I made the bold, courageous choice of not decorating. What a relief! What freedom!
Just because "We've Always Done It This Way" doesn't mean I have to do it.
Sometimes the kindest thing to do is not to do something. My first sober Christmas, my kindest action was to stay home, snuggly and safely sober, resting my body.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 536
Originally Posted by EternalQ
.....fight for your sobriety like a Mama (or Papa) Lion protecting its cub. Until it can protect itself, it is OUR job to do it. Or how else will it reach maturity?
When I was beginning sobriety I knew there was this part of me that was immature and wanted its' bottle. This part kicked, screamed, tantrumed, acted coy, pushed limits, got over tired, whined, had melt downs, and used every other manipulation a self centered toddler would use when denied something she wants that was bad for her.
We have to respond like good parents and set firm limits, be consistent, gentle but firm. We have to say no again and again and pick her up and carry her out of situations where she will not behave. Even when we would rather stay. We have to not bring her to social situations where she is too immature to behave appropriately. We have to stay home and care for her even if we want to be out having fun. Eventually this part grows up enough that she can be trusted if we stay in strong but loving connection and communication with her. If we turn our backs and ignore her or holdher responsible before she is mature enough, then acting out will surely ensue!!
Today, we will be good stewards to our sobriety, and not give her any more then she can handle at this tender age!!!
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 536
Originally Posted by ForMeForThem
Thanks Frances for being here for us. Yesterday when I started the Christmas decorating, I immediately thought of wine. I guess it was part of my ritual in the past. I had stew in the crockpot, a nice fire going, music playing and I kept thinking how a nice glass of red wine would complete the pretty picture. I had to snap myself out of it, that's not my reality. Reality is I would drink one or two bottles, not one glass, I would ruin the nice day and not remember half of it - that is not a pretty picture. Instead the kids and I made the house look pretty and I drank lots and lots of coffee! I'm trying hard to create new rituals and memories that do not revolve around drinking.
New fancy drink recipes, anyone? Boozeless, of course.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Southern California
Posts: 365
Hi all...
Sounds like everyone is have a safe and sober sunday... Today I just need to focus on staying busy... I think I'm going to put lights on the house with the boys... That should keep me busy and out of trouble for a bit...
With love,
Wifi
Sounds like everyone is have a safe and sober sunday... Today I just need to focus on staying busy... I think I'm going to put lights on the house with the boys... That should keep me busy and out of trouble for a bit...
With love,
Wifi
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 1,372
Junebug - I can't do the fancy drink thing, it reminds me of alcohol too much. I can't use a fancy glass or I would think about it being wine instead. Although at Thanksgiving I did enjoy my sparkling cider in a wine glass (just like the kids) while most others had wine and I was happy with it. But on a daily basis, that would be too much of a trigger for me. I've been drinking alot of coffee lately.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
I also do a lot of hot drinks. Decaf. coffee, herbal teas, Chai tea. Might get some of the sugar free International coffees, but it is hard to find decaf ones. I have to watch my weight. It is how I control my diabetes. If you can do the sugar, hot cider is good.
hey June, do you have Kuerig coffee maker? Take all you save on wine(it will add up quickly), and get one, and they have flavors and hot ciders and hot chocolate and iced teas, etc...
I am a fan of seltzer and mineral waters and add differing juices. The kids like those too, and we will concoct all sort of fun ones on a Friday or Saturday night. We sometimes float real fruit in them, like oranges, strawberries, etc...
But, yes, mocktails may be a trigger for some.
hey June, do you have Kuerig coffee maker? Take all you save on wine(it will add up quickly), and get one, and they have flavors and hot ciders and hot chocolate and iced teas, etc...
I am a fan of seltzer and mineral waters and add differing juices. The kids like those too, and we will concoct all sort of fun ones on a Friday or Saturday night. We sometimes float real fruit in them, like oranges, strawberries, etc...
But, yes, mocktails may be a trigger for some.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 536
Rochele, that's a great idea. Fresh fruit slices in the glass! I want a special drink for special occasions. I don't want to use wine glasses, way too much of a trigger. Just a regular glass. Fresh fruit slices + Fruit nectar + Sparkling Mineral Water. The hard part will be saving this for special occasions, and not doing it every day.
I am a tea drinker, not much of a coffee drinker. I had to quit drinking coffee in order to quit smoking, and never went back to it.
I bought the coolest gadget ever, an all-metal, no plastic electric tea kettle with a keep warm button so I have hot water all day. And if I want to make fresh iced tea with it, I put six tea bags right into the kettle of boiling water. Then I put a little cold water in a glass pitcher so it doesn't crack. I pour the brewed tea into the glass pitcher for iced tea.
I am a tea drinker, not much of a coffee drinker. I had to quit drinking coffee in order to quit smoking, and never went back to it.
I bought the coolest gadget ever, an all-metal, no plastic electric tea kettle with a keep warm button so I have hot water all day. And if I want to make fresh iced tea with it, I put six tea bags right into the kettle of boiling water. Then I put a little cold water in a glass pitcher so it doesn't crack. I pour the brewed tea into the glass pitcher for iced tea.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
When I am out, I order cranberry and club soda with a lime. It is festive and it does not trigger me though I don't know why. I think not having my own festive drink to order when out would trigger me more. I drink this at home too in the evenings when I finally sit down and rest.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Dudley,Uk
Posts: 1,704
Another day nearly done....Great shoulder and legs session in the gym this morning,I ain't gonna be able to walk tomorrow...Got home and cooked the wife,me and the kids a huge Sunday roast chicken dinner and I ate shedloads...Spent the rest of the day eating chocolate,mince pies and now I'm about to crack open a litre of ice cream...Happy days...Hope everyone is well....Take care...Steve....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 1,372
Ok, I'm liking the idea of the seltzer, club soda, mineral water drinks with the fruit in a regular glass. I drink seltzer water anyway, but that would be something special and different for the holidays, but not too much like an alcoholic drink or wine that it will trigger me. Been thinking I need to cut back on the coffee. Thanks for the ideas ladies!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cheshire, N.W England
Posts: 6,803
21.10 Sun
Good evening again Under 30's and I hope you've all had a good and sober Sunday.
Midnight, the hot mulled wine would have been useful for warming my hands on, nothing else! So glad I wasn't tempted, I would have been sooo disappointed with myself today.
Newby, that's a really good quote there, I've wrote it in my little book of quotes and sayings, which I keep in my bag at all times!
Forme, thank you, I did have a good day. I hope you've had a good week end and day 29 is awesome. The banana boys are resting up so they have plenty of energy to do their little dance routine for you tomorrow. Your right about changing the routine and the wine with the Christmas decs, one or two glasses would soon turn into one or two bottles for me too!
Hi Sjim, good to see you still posting, keep on at it, you know you can do this.
Jjay, I just thought you looked like Brad Pitt ! Anyway, I had a sneaky look at your profile pic and you're much better looking than him!!
Hi Frances, thank you for posting again and thank you for reminding me about the Christmas decorations. I can so relate to that. I used to get all the decs out, open a bottle of wine and by the time I'd finished the wine, the tree would be all lob-sided, half the baubles all over the floor and the rest of the house would be a right mess! You were very brave giving the decorating a miss for a couple of years, I'd love to do that, but I have to make an effort for the little one.
Hi June, don't really know any fancy drinks, I'm a big tea belly, I love it. I like the fruit flavoured teas too.
Wifi keeping yourself busy is a good idea, you go for it!
Rochele, putting fruit in glasses is a nice idea, could make some pretty drinks with that.
Steve, you are a beast!
See you all tomorrow
Night night, sleep well
Good evening again Under 30's and I hope you've all had a good and sober Sunday.
Midnight, the hot mulled wine would have been useful for warming my hands on, nothing else! So glad I wasn't tempted, I would have been sooo disappointed with myself today.
Newby, that's a really good quote there, I've wrote it in my little book of quotes and sayings, which I keep in my bag at all times!
Forme, thank you, I did have a good day. I hope you've had a good week end and day 29 is awesome. The banana boys are resting up so they have plenty of energy to do their little dance routine for you tomorrow. Your right about changing the routine and the wine with the Christmas decs, one or two glasses would soon turn into one or two bottles for me too!
Hi Sjim, good to see you still posting, keep on at it, you know you can do this.
Jjay, I just thought you looked like Brad Pitt ! Anyway, I had a sneaky look at your profile pic and you're much better looking than him!!
Hi Frances, thank you for posting again and thank you for reminding me about the Christmas decorations. I can so relate to that. I used to get all the decs out, open a bottle of wine and by the time I'd finished the wine, the tree would be all lob-sided, half the baubles all over the floor and the rest of the house would be a right mess! You were very brave giving the decorating a miss for a couple of years, I'd love to do that, but I have to make an effort for the little one.
Hi June, don't really know any fancy drinks, I'm a big tea belly, I love it. I like the fruit flavoured teas too.
Wifi keeping yourself busy is a good idea, you go for it!
Rochele, putting fruit in glasses is a nice idea, could make some pretty drinks with that.
Steve, you are a beast!
See you all tomorrow
Night night, sleep well
"Why So Serious?"
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Framingham, MA
Posts: 522
Originally Posted by Grace2
Jjay, I just thought you looked like Brad Pitt ! Anyway, I had a sneaky look at your profile pic and you're much better looking than him!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 315
Eternal Q--Love this analogy! I am on Day 15 today. It's been a rough few days with intermittent cravings then a migraine that put me out of commission all one afternoon into the next afternoon. I felt a bit sorry for myself which led to acting childish today (the toddler whining--why aren't I getting a reward if I'm not drinking? Fine, I'll just drink then!) But deep down I know with certainty that nothing will get better with a drink. I've definitely had my share.
Just wondering--when do you start to lose weight? I have a small frame but have managed to pack on 22 pounds through drinking (and eating in blackouts). None of my clothes fit. But shouldn't I have lost at least ONE POUND by 15 days? I don't understand what's going on if I'm cutting out literally thousands of calories! (I drank every night, usually 8-10 regular size drinks or a bottle and a half of wine). My toddler is pissed that I am still fat!
Thanks to all for the support. So grateful to be sober. Just feeling sorry for myself a bit!
Just wondering--when do you start to lose weight? I have a small frame but have managed to pack on 22 pounds through drinking (and eating in blackouts). None of my clothes fit. But shouldn't I have lost at least ONE POUND by 15 days? I don't understand what's going on if I'm cutting out literally thousands of calories! (I drank every night, usually 8-10 regular size drinks or a bottle and a half of wine). My toddler is pissed that I am still fat!
Thanks to all for the support. So grateful to be sober. Just feeling sorry for myself a bit!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cheshire, N.W England
Posts: 6,803
Mon 11.26 3c and lashing it down with rain.
Good morning Under 30's, these Mondays soon come round. I'm in work today and we're busy so I need to be quick!
Hi Jjay. Lol. ha ah ha.
Hi and welcome Safeand sound, congratulations on 15 days. Re the weight issue, I've got a small frame too and it took me quite a few weeks, oddly enough, before the weight started dropping off. I suppose it depends on your metabolisim etc, and if, like me you have been drinking for several years it probably takes our bodies a bit of time to adjust to the changes. I think my metabolism was frozen with shock! Keep it up, you will start seeing a difference very soon, just concentrate on being sober for now, the rest will follow.
See you all later
Stay safe and sober
*****
Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration
Good morning Under 30's, these Mondays soon come round. I'm in work today and we're busy so I need to be quick!
Hi Jjay. Lol. ha ah ha.
Hi and welcome Safeand sound, congratulations on 15 days. Re the weight issue, I've got a small frame too and it took me quite a few weeks, oddly enough, before the weight started dropping off. I suppose it depends on your metabolisim etc, and if, like me you have been drinking for several years it probably takes our bodies a bit of time to adjust to the changes. I think my metabolism was frozen with shock! Keep it up, you will start seeing a difference very soon, just concentrate on being sober for now, the rest will follow.
See you all later
Stay safe and sober
*****
Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration
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