"30 Days and Under Part 3"... Come & encourage them!
"Why So Serious?"
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Framingham, MA
Posts: 522
(posted this message in the Nov 12 and One Year & Under Threads)
Hey everyone. Day 16 here. I was already to post "SWEET SIXTEEN!!! WHOOO!!!" this morning but today has been so crappy. I woke up early and went to the gym. Everything was going fine and then about 45 minutes later I broke out into a cold sweat. Not the kind you get from working out. Then I felt really, really nauseous. Tried to fight it but had to run to the bathroom and got sick. I felt a little bit better so I went back to lifting. After two more sets I knew I had to leave. I went home and laid down hoping I'd feel better before my shift. That didn't happen so I missed work
I just got up a little while ago and it's nearly 5PM. I'm feeling quite a bit better but now since I missed work and didn't answer my friends and families calls and texts they all assume I've been drinking. I know this is a fair assumption since I've lied in the past and I haven't earned their trust back but it's still upsetting.
Hope everyone is well.
Hey everyone. Day 16 here. I was already to post "SWEET SIXTEEN!!! WHOOO!!!" this morning but today has been so crappy. I woke up early and went to the gym. Everything was going fine and then about 45 minutes later I broke out into a cold sweat. Not the kind you get from working out. Then I felt really, really nauseous. Tried to fight it but had to run to the bathroom and got sick. I felt a little bit better so I went back to lifting. After two more sets I knew I had to leave. I went home and laid down hoping I'd feel better before my shift. That didn't happen so I missed work
I just got up a little while ago and it's nearly 5PM. I'm feeling quite a bit better but now since I missed work and didn't answer my friends and families calls and texts they all assume I've been drinking. I know this is a fair assumption since I've lied in the past and I haven't earned their trust back but it's still upsetting. Hope everyone is well.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
Sorry you're sick Jay. But 16 days is still phenomenal!
How will you handle that you believe your friends/ family/ work would assume you relapsed? Will you just bring it up yourself to get it out in the air?
How will you handle that you believe your friends/ family/ work would assume you relapsed? Will you just bring it up yourself to get it out in the air?
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
The important thing is- you didn't drink Jay.
Trust takes time to earn back - and it's not on our timetable, y'know...but if you continually show you're worthy of that trust I've found most people are cool pretty quickly.
most of those who love us want to think the best of us
D
Trust takes time to earn back - and it's not on our timetable, y'know...but if you continually show you're worthy of that trust I've found most people are cool pretty quickly.
most of those who love us want to think the best of us
D
"Why So Serious?"
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Framingham, MA
Posts: 522
Originally Posted by EternalQ 
Sorry you're sick Jay. But 16 days is still phenomenal!
How will you handle that you believe your friends/ family/ work would assume you relapsed? Will you just bring it up yourself to get it out in the air?
How will you handle that you believe your friends/ family/ work would assume you relapsed? Will you just bring it up yourself to get it out in the air?
Originally Posted by Dee74
The important thing is- you didn't drink Jay.
Trust takes time to earn back - and it's not on our timetable, y'know...but if you continually show you're worthy of that trust I've found most people are cool pretty quickly.
most of those who love us want to think the best of us
D
Trust takes time to earn back - and it's not on our timetable, y'know...but if you continually show you're worthy of that trust I've found most people are cool pretty quickly.
most of those who love us want to think the best of us
D
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cheshire, N.W England
Posts: 6,803
00.04
Just calling in to say goodnight
Hi Wifi, good to see you, how's it going?
Formerbeerlover thank you so much for that thoughtful and encouraging post, it really helps me to believe that I can do this when I read posts like yours. You've done amazingly well, wow, I'm so impressed.
Dee, that is so true.
E.Q my first 30 days were a miracle, so there you go under 30's, miracles do happen!
Hi Jjay, hope you're feeling better,your mum and your sister are bound to think that aren't they, so don't be offended, actions speak louder than words, so just show them how wrong they were and keep showing them! Okay!
Right then, I'm off to bed.
Night, night, sleep well.
Just calling in to say goodnight
Hi Wifi, good to see you, how's it going?
Formerbeerlover thank you so much for that thoughtful and encouraging post, it really helps me to believe that I can do this when I read posts like yours. You've done amazingly well, wow, I'm so impressed.
Dee, that is so true.
E.Q my first 30 days were a miracle, so there you go under 30's, miracles do happen!
Hi Jjay, hope you're feeling better,your mum and your sister are bound to think that aren't they, so don't be offended, actions speak louder than words, so just show them how wrong they were and keep showing them! Okay!
Right then, I'm off to bed.
Night, night, sleep well.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 1,372
Good morning all! Day 27 here. This past week went better than I had prepared myself for, urges and thoughts of drinking were fleeting. I didn't really want to drink this week, but did have a strange feeling of not sure what I wanted or who I was, hard to explain. Just kind of an uneasiness about myself. Felt a bit numb, like I almost wasn't feeling anything, then I would get really emotional all of a sudden. I'm still on guard for any sneaky thoughts and I guess the rest will fall into place. I do know I feel so much better every day, even on the hard days.
Also, I've found my mind drifting to my worst memories of things I did when drinking. Not in a "i hate myself" way but more that I can't even believe that was me, can't believe I would let myself behave that way, can't understand how that could have been me. Almost removed from it and sad for that person, again hard to explain.
Well, enough rambling, I hope everyone is doing well and has a happy, sober weekend!
Also, I've found my mind drifting to my worst memories of things I did when drinking. Not in a "i hate myself" way but more that I can't even believe that was me, can't believe I would let myself behave that way, can't understand how that could have been me. Almost removed from it and sad for that person, again hard to explain.
Well, enough rambling, I hope everyone is doing well and has a happy, sober weekend!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
Stevie. -Nice to see you writing a bit more detail!
ForMe- I will bet you everyone who has gone through recovery will know what you are talking about! You describe it well too. I felt like Rip Van Winkle waking up. And I still remember things I did or thought that don't reflect who I am or even represent my moral code. Alcohol makes us so disinhibited at the same time it is messing up our thinking. We think irrationally, we feel emitions based on misperception, and unfortunately we then act on that....
WwG: It IS great waking up without a hangover. Also great waking wiith no regret, with feeling good about yourself, with a memory, with realistic expectations, without shame, with goals, with hope, with honor, with humilty, with gratitude....
Grateful for all of you!
ForMe- I will bet you everyone who has gone through recovery will know what you are talking about! You describe it well too. I felt like Rip Van Winkle waking up. And I still remember things I did or thought that don't reflect who I am or even represent my moral code. Alcohol makes us so disinhibited at the same time it is messing up our thinking. We think irrationally, we feel emitions based on misperception, and unfortunately we then act on that....
WwG: It IS great waking up without a hangover. Also great waking wiith no regret, with feeling good about yourself, with a memory, with realistic expectations, without shame, with goals, with hope, with honor, with humilty, with gratitude....
Grateful for all of you!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,826
Inspired by each of you....way to go!
My sig is part of how I dealt with my extreme shame and regret and anger about the past. I relate.
On the topic of earning back trust, my experience is that it's an inside job. I actually didn't know what to call the growing feeling inside me that I was/am a good person and it is really truly completely real.
I brought it to my SR peeps and someone said: "That feeling is self-esteem."
*Brain explosion*
Once I could trust myself, it didn't matter as much what other people felt or said about me. I was keeping my promises to myself and that's all I needed to know.
Early in my sobriety, my sis's marriage blew up spectacularly. There was many middle-of-the-night sobbing, scary, fearful calls from her about her addicted husband. I was sober for every single one of them. I was sober and knew I could jump in my car any second.
I haven't shared my Recovery story with her. She thinks I stopped drinking because of my running goals. She doesn't need to know that staying-sober was in part about being able to help her the best I could *even though she still doesn't know about it.*
My sig is part of how I dealt with my extreme shame and regret and anger about the past. I relate.
On the topic of earning back trust, my experience is that it's an inside job. I actually didn't know what to call the growing feeling inside me that I was/am a good person and it is really truly completely real.
I brought it to my SR peeps and someone said: "That feeling is self-esteem."
*Brain explosion*
Once I could trust myself, it didn't matter as much what other people felt or said about me. I was keeping my promises to myself and that's all I needed to know.
Early in my sobriety, my sis's marriage blew up spectacularly. There was many middle-of-the-night sobbing, scary, fearful calls from her about her addicted husband. I was sober for every single one of them. I was sober and knew I could jump in my car any second.
I haven't shared my Recovery story with her. She thinks I stopped drinking because of my running goals. She doesn't need to know that staying-sober was in part about being able to help her the best I could *even though she still doesn't know about it.*
"Why So Serious?"
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Framingham, MA
Posts: 522
Hey everyone. Day 17 underway here for me. Already hit the gym at 5:30 this morning and will be starting work pretty soon. Hope everyone is staying strong and have plans to stay sober throughout the weekend
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,095
Hi
Day 35. Had a drinking dream last night, only it was me drinking beer. I don't even drink beer :-)
I watched an episode of Intervention that really disturbed me-it was a women whose children were taken away and still she keep drinking. She relapsed after rehab and is still currently drinking. Really disheartening and sad.
Quite the realization as to the horrors of alcohol addiiction.
Glad to see everyone posting their journeys.
Day 35. Had a drinking dream last night, only it was me drinking beer. I don't even drink beer :-)
I watched an episode of Intervention that really disturbed me-it was a women whose children were taken away and still she keep drinking. She relapsed after rehab and is still currently drinking. Really disheartening and sad.
Quite the realization as to the horrors of alcohol addiiction.
Glad to see everyone posting their journeys.
2 detoxes down, 0 to go
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 284
Day 12 here. I'm getting good sleep for the first time in 15 years! Used to be that I would drink until I passed out (and could not fall asleep any other way), would wake up about 3 or 4 hours later because I had to go to the bathroom, then be unable to fall asleep again (because I wasn't quite drunk enough anymore and I knew if I drank more I would not go to work). I lived on about 4 hours of sleep a night for all those years.
Then when I started trying to go cold turkey or even taper off, sleep stopped completely. Even when I got on librium, I didn't sleep at all the first two nights (librium exhausts you, yet the insomnia from the withdrawals was even more powerful apparently), then I started sleeping in spurts for a few days/nights.
Well, now I've gotten about 6 nights in a row of 6 to 8 hours of consecutive sleep. I feel freaking great! My mind is so clear. I'm still having cravings somewhat regularly and moments of guilt or depression, to be expected, but I'm attending three different groups (one through the detox center 3 times a week plus two AA groups), I've got a great sponsor, my motivation is at all-time high and I've been sober almost two weeks. I'm actually doing this.
Then when I started trying to go cold turkey or even taper off, sleep stopped completely. Even when I got on librium, I didn't sleep at all the first two nights (librium exhausts you, yet the insomnia from the withdrawals was even more powerful apparently), then I started sleeping in spurts for a few days/nights.
Well, now I've gotten about 6 nights in a row of 6 to 8 hours of consecutive sleep. I feel freaking great! My mind is so clear. I'm still having cravings somewhat regularly and moments of guilt or depression, to be expected, but I'm attending three different groups (one through the detox center 3 times a week plus two AA groups), I've got a great sponsor, my motivation is at all-time high and I've been sober almost two weeks. I'm actually doing this.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cheshire, N.W England
Posts: 6,803
15.10 Fri. Freezing and foggy 2 c.
Good afternoon all you Under 30's.
Today is the beginning of the week end, a danger time for many of us. I find planning ahead and changing my routine a little is the key to keep on track as well as keeping busy and keeping my mind occupied. Most of us have something we can find to keep us occupied at this time of year with Christmas rapidly approaching. If you have young children you could make home made Christmas cards with them, gift tags, paint pine cones with glitter and bake Christmas cookies, all things that make happy memories for years to come. In fact you could do all that if you have no children!
Hi Steve, glad to see you're not going hungry and even gladder to see you're still sober of course.
Hi Forme, you're so near the 30 day mark now, I can't believe how fast it has flown. I still get flashbacks to the things I did when I was drinking and I can't believe that I was so stupid as to do those things I did! I don't get them as often now, but when I do, I treat them as reminders of how I don't want to be! They're a bit like watching an old scary movie with someone who looked like me taking the lead roll.
Hi WWG, good for you and I'm sure you will want to wake up tomorrow without one too. I hope you've made some plans to fill your time and to keep you and your lovely daughter occupied. You can do it, lets see you on that podium on Monday!
E.Q, I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we're grateful for you too!
Frances, thank you for another wonderful and moving post. You just make me realise how lucky I am to be recovering and how much there is to look forward to.
JJay, your really not far off three weeks now, that is so amazing. Have a good day in work and you stay strong.
Samwich, I used to have a few of those drinking dreams and wake up in a right panic, awful! I always feel terrible if I watch anything like that, it makes me feel so ashamed and embarrassed. It's like 'there but for the grace of God, goes me.'
Off now to catch up on my other posts
See you later.
Stay safe and sober
*****
JUST FOR TODAY, I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.
Good afternoon all you Under 30's.
Today is the beginning of the week end, a danger time for many of us. I find planning ahead and changing my routine a little is the key to keep on track as well as keeping busy and keeping my mind occupied. Most of us have something we can find to keep us occupied at this time of year with Christmas rapidly approaching. If you have young children you could make home made Christmas cards with them, gift tags, paint pine cones with glitter and bake Christmas cookies, all things that make happy memories for years to come. In fact you could do all that if you have no children!
Hi Steve, glad to see you're not going hungry and even gladder to see you're still sober of course.
Hi Forme, you're so near the 30 day mark now, I can't believe how fast it has flown. I still get flashbacks to the things I did when I was drinking and I can't believe that I was so stupid as to do those things I did! I don't get them as often now, but when I do, I treat them as reminders of how I don't want to be! They're a bit like watching an old scary movie with someone who looked like me taking the lead roll.
Hi WWG, good for you and I'm sure you will want to wake up tomorrow without one too. I hope you've made some plans to fill your time and to keep you and your lovely daughter occupied. You can do it, lets see you on that podium on Monday!
E.Q, I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we're grateful for you too!
Frances, thank you for another wonderful and moving post. You just make me realise how lucky I am to be recovering and how much there is to look forward to.
JJay, your really not far off three weeks now, that is so amazing. Have a good day in work and you stay strong.
Samwich, I used to have a few of those drinking dreams and wake up in a right panic, awful! I always feel terrible if I watch anything like that, it makes me feel so ashamed and embarrassed. It's like 'there but for the grace of God, goes me.'
Off now to catch up on my other posts
See you later.
Stay safe and sober
*****
JUST FOR TODAY, I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Schaumburg
Posts: 10
Hi all, on day 25 right now, and I am really happy. I finally realized yesterday though that I am battling serious depression. I have been off all week and tried to get some wall prep and painting done, and started off great, but havent touched it for two days.
I am thinking of maybe looking for a shrink, IDK, I really don't want more drugs, but I am not sure why I am so depressed. I have read stories on here, and I have it much better. Yes, I am behind financially, but I will get caught up fairly quickly without drinking and throwing money around like crazy.
My fiancee is a babysitter and the kids are driving me nuts, I am praying for patience, but it doesn't happen real well.
IDK what to do, going to a noon meeting in a couple of hours, just would like some experienced thoughts
Thanks for listening.
I am thinking of maybe looking for a shrink, IDK, I really don't want more drugs, but I am not sure why I am so depressed. I have read stories on here, and I have it much better. Yes, I am behind financially, but I will get caught up fairly quickly without drinking and throwing money around like crazy.
My fiancee is a babysitter and the kids are driving me nuts, I am praying for patience, but it doesn't happen real well.
IDK what to do, going to a noon meeting in a couple of hours, just would like some experienced thoughts
Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Southern California
Posts: 365
Hi all! Just checking in to say hi!! Still sober!
Grace - I'm doing OK thanks for asking!!!
Big shout out - Stevie, FMFT, WWG, EternalQ, Frances2011, JJay, Samwitch, Anotherpaul, Freezing Dwarf, and anyone I may have missed...
I hope you all have a super sober day and a safe sober weekend...
Love you all,
Wifi - d7
Grace - I'm doing OK thanks for asking!!!
Big shout out - Stevie, FMFT, WWG, EternalQ, Frances2011, JJay, Samwitch, Anotherpaul, Freezing Dwarf, and anyone I may have missed...
I hope you all have a super sober day and a safe sober weekend...
Love you all,
Wifi - d7
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Dudley,Uk
Posts: 1,704
Another day nearly done as I'll go watch some TV in bed soon....Had a great session in the gym earlier and I'm feeling sore already...Ate a good fish and chip dinner,extra large portion easily over 1000 calories and I'm just about to put a big dent in a litre tub of double chocolate ice cream...I'm really enjoying food again....Hope everyone is well...Take care....Steve.....
"Why So Serious?"
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Framingham, MA
Posts: 522
Hey everyone. Home from work. Week over! I was paired up with a different co-worker today and he was pretty dull which made for a long day. Today, I had NO jacket at all. I'm glad I brought a hoody with me 'cause it didn't even reach 30 degrees today.
I was invited to a bar by my friend tonight and I had been struggling with whether to go or not and ended up deciding against it. I was really looking forward to getting out 'cause I haven't gone out at all since I've been back in MA (2 months).
Hope everyone has a great Friday night
I was invited to a bar by my friend tonight and I had been struggling with whether to go or not and ended up deciding against it. I was really looking forward to getting out 'cause I haven't gone out at all since I've been back in MA (2 months).
Hope everyone has a great Friday night
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 536
Originally Posted by JJay
Hey everyone. Home from work. Week over! I was paired up with a different co-worker today and he was pretty dull which made for a long day. Today, I had NO jacket at all. I'm glad I brought a hoody with me 'cause it didn't even reach 30 degrees today.
I was invited to a bar by my friend tonight and I had been struggling with whether to go or not and ended up deciding against it. I was really looking forward to getting out 'cause I haven't gone out at all since I've been back in MA (2 months).
Hope everyone has a great Friday night
I was invited to a bar by my friend tonight and I had been struggling with whether to go or not and ended up deciding against it. I was really looking forward to getting out 'cause I haven't gone out at all since I've been back in MA (2 months).
Hope everyone has a great Friday night
JJ I don't know if I would want to go to a bar this soon either. Is there somewhere else you can go to have fun? I can't even handle going out to dinner at this point; I am turning down invitations until I feel I can handle being around wine. Congrats on your good day at work, glad they didn't hold it against you that you were sick yesterday.
Hope everyone has a sober and happy Friday
"Why So Serious?"
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Framingham, MA
Posts: 522
Originally Posted by Junebugapril
JJ I don't know if I would want to go to a bar this soon either. Is there somewhere else you can go to have fun? I can't even handle going out to dinner at this point; I am turning down invitations until I feel I can handle being around wine. Congrats on your good day at work, glad they didn't hold it against you that you were sick yesterday.
Hope everyone has a sober and happy Friday
Hope everyone has a sober and happy Friday
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