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Class Of October 2012 Part 4

Old 11-12-2012, 10:38 PM
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My mind gives me reasons to drink every day. And every day I stay sober is another day of healing for my mind and body. One day at a time takes on new meanings after a while.
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Old 11-13-2012, 03:38 AM
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I finished day 4 yesterday. I am up early for yoga. Jim - I know how you feel. I feel like a mess sober and when I am drinking. Big hugs.
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Old 11-13-2012, 05:16 AM
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Good morning. Onto day 24.

I think after day 30, I will start branching out some more. Exploring new hobbies. For now I am still insecure about everything. I feel like my brain needs a little more time to readjust.
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Old 11-13-2012, 11:41 AM
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Hi, Octsober mates! It's almost midnight here, so my Day 30 is almost over.
I am glad to reach this milestone, but not in the best of my moods because of some health issues. So, I'll keep my vast gratitude for your encouragement and great support in these short lines:

These thirty days’ve been far from easy,
My nasty habit’s dying hard.
Sometimes it’s great, sometimes it’s cheesy
Sometimes my hopes fall apart.

Ok, I’m saying no more cliches,
Just take my words for what it’s worth -
Your Midnight here with best wishes,
Forever sober. Forever Yours.


Have a great day!
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Old 11-13-2012, 04:53 PM
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Hi everyone-
Day 17. Hanging tough, not drinking, although even now and then I get a thought that there is no way I can stay sober the rest of my life. That is hard to wrap my mind around, as RV said. But just dealing with the day that I have and not thinking about the future events that I'll encounter.
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Old 11-13-2012, 05:21 PM
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Originally Posted by MidnightBlue View Post
Hi, Octsober mates!

ClassiFemme - welcome!
Thanks!
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Old 11-13-2012, 05:22 PM
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Originally Posted by NatalieN View Post
Welcome to the October class Classi. I had my last drink the day before my birthday so I could use my birthday as my anniversary date. Soriety is the best gift we can give ourselves. It's great that you stopped at 30. Many of us waited a lot longer, lost a lot more and have more regrets.

Cogratulations on your 2 weeks.

Natalie
Thank you so much Natalie! I agree sobriety is a wonderful gift.
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Old 11-13-2012, 05:38 PM
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Checking in... day 16 for me. Feeling really good. I've been going through so much literature and what I've learned about this disease has really shocked and transformed my beliefs and opinions. I'm kind of sad that more about this disease and the substance of alcohol isn't common knowledge. I'm glad I finally know more about what I was putting into my body.

I started a private blogger blog about sobriety today. I have it on my computer and I have the smartphone app as well, so whenever I feel *anything* related to sobriety I can either read old entries or write new thoughts and feelings on the fly. So far I created 4 posts:

1. At my worst: As I recall the most negative experiences I had because of alcohol, I jot them down so I can reflect upon it if a craving ever arises. The list is embarrassingly long
2. Mega-list of sober improvements: A list of every wonderful realization/development since sobriety (I expect this list to be super long, eventually)
3. Helpful resources: A list of websites, books, etc... that I come across or learn about that might help or be of interest
4. Fears/concerns: self explanatory

The only person in my life I'm telling about my sobriety is my boyfriend. But I have a loooooot on my mind about it. The blog is so therapeutic!
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Old 11-13-2012, 11:13 PM
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I try not to define alcoholism as a disease. For me alcoholism is a chemical imbalance caused by excessive drinking that has created a dependence both physically and mentally. The dependency is not a disease but a cureable imbalance. Remove the excessive alcohol and the brain readjusts it's dependency on it and releases the body to go back to normal functioning. The word disease implies negative connotation and an uncureable ailment. Alcoholism can be cured and doesn't have to become a label defining us. Many people have removed alcohol from their lives and are no longer alcoholic. For me this gives me hope that I too will no longer be an alcoholic. If I just remove the alcohol then I can no longer be defined as an alcoholic. This is just my thought. I just can't accept it when I'm told I will always be an alcoholic.
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Old 11-13-2012, 11:37 PM
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There's nothing wrong with no longer being defined as an alcoholic, if thats important to you

just as long as we don't ever feel the urge to test that out with a drink, RV...cos disease, or chemical imbalance or whatever, that toxic relationship we have never changes - not in my experience.

D
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Old 11-14-2012, 05:54 PM
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Hi everyone, day 18 here! Wow. It's crazy how the days start to run together after a while, I hope this continues. No real struggles today other than "future thinking" ie--how am I gonna get through Thanksgiving, party, Christmas, the 3rd Friday of March or whatever without a drink. Arggh, so annoying.

Hope everyone is doing okay, it's kinda quiet.
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Old 11-15-2012, 01:23 AM
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you just keep doing what you've been doing Sam - day by day make that commitment to not drink, no matter what...

some days are easy, some are harder - but none are impossible, not with support

D
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Old 11-15-2012, 06:09 AM
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Hi, Octsober mates!

I am here accompanied by my 32 wine-free days.

Samwitch - well done on Day 18.

"future thinking" ie--how am I gonna get through Thanksgiving, party, Christmas, the 3rd Friday of March

Yes, and there will be Easter, Independancy Day, Bastille day. In ten years maybe celebration of first contact with aliens))) . Make it easy on yourself) I am a great specialist in driving myself crazy with such "future thinking" - never did me any good.

Redviper - IMHO, as far as any of us is aware of what's going on when we drink "a first glass", terminology doesn't matter much. And, unlike this say... addiction, there are many diseases that are completely curable.

Germanos - how are you? How's you work going?

My very best wishes to all. Have a great sober day)
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Old 11-15-2012, 10:00 AM
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Well October friends, I hate to say that I am back to Day 1

Things were going really well and I had around 2 weeks of sobriety. Was feeling really good about it all. And yesterday I was really looking forward to having a productive day off from work and I totally ruined it. As I walked to the store I kept telling myself not to do it, just turn back around and don't buy any beer. But it was like some fog descended upon my mind and I went into a familiar, automatic mode and got some beer.

I feel really frustrated, defeated. I feel like such a screw up, like I was so happy to be staying sober and messed it up for no reason. Day 1. Again.

I hope to be around sr more these days. Thanks to everyone for coming back time and again to post here, it's really a nice place.
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Old 11-15-2012, 10:10 AM
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Hi, Alcofribas.

Do not look at the rear mirror, there is a long sober road ahead. Good things about "automatic habits' - once you catch them and recognize where they are coming from,you can gradually get rid of them.

Have a good day.
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Old 11-15-2012, 10:26 AM
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I do recognize that today would have been a lot harder if I didn't have a stretch of sober days behind me. One thing is for sure, now that I'm hungover and feeling a bit of the old regret and depression it makes me all the more committed to getting back on track.

Although its kind of embarrassing to be back at Day 1, I feel like its better than binging.
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Old 11-15-2012, 11:11 AM
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Originally Posted by samwitch View Post
Hi everyone, day 18 here! Wow. It's crazy how the days start to run together after a while, I hope this continues. No real struggles today other than "future thinking" ie--how am I gonna get through Thanksgiving, party, Christmas, the 3rd Friday of March or whatever without a drink. Arggh, so annoying.

Hope everyone is doing okay, it's kinda quiet.
I think I'm either on day 17 or 18 but the fact that I can't be sure is making me really happy. I want to get to the point where I just don't drink, don't count days, don't even think about it. Congrats on your 18 days!

Today is the first day since becoming sober (post-withdrawals) that I didn't wake up full of energy. I woke up sleepy and sluggish and not wanting to go to work. Then I got to work and my sweet tooth activated. I bought 2 donuts but I guess the lady accidentally slipped in a 3rd. I ate ALL of them. I feel full and even more tired and heavy. Buuuuuut... this is the first day of not feeling 100% stellar in over 2 weeks, as opposed to regularly feeling 10x worse than this. A crappy-feeling day like this is helpful in its own way because it's good to remember that just because I quit drinking, every day won't magically become perfect. But... there are FAR more good days than bad, versus the other way around! Grateful to be where I am. And I'm chugging water to hopefully flush all this nasty sugar out of my system! UghHHHHH!
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Old 11-15-2012, 01:23 PM
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welcome back Alcofribas

I think recovery can be a lot like a hurdles race - it can take a few goes to find our 'stride'...and the race isn't over if we fall at a hurdle.

D
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Old 11-15-2012, 02:02 PM
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Hey guys, Thought I'd join the class. Sober since October 8th. I plan to be a part of this class indefinitely.

Stay strong!
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Old 11-15-2012, 02:17 PM
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welcome Vinyl

D
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