Class Of October 2012 Part 4
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Sober Recovery
Posts: 233
Hello, sorry I vanished for a bit. I have still stayed away from alcohol... I have no idea what day I am on, I am going to have to go find a post and count the days.
I just needed to step away for a few, but I miss sharing the experience with others and have had cravings lately so I need to come back.
I just needed to step away for a few, but I miss sharing the experience with others and have had cravings lately so I need to come back.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Florida US
Posts: 296
Welcome back Germanos.
Day 75 for me. I am not counting days on a daily basis but I use a sobriety ticker on another forum and it's hard to ignore so whenever I post on that forum it's right there for me to see. Also becoming sober on the first of the month and my birthday makes the math ridiculously easy to figure out.
Ok so 75 days it is. Feeling like I would have to be insane to Uconsider drinking as an option in my life. Have never been so convinced of anything in my life before. This is my third attempt at sobriety and I can tell you I have never come to these conclusions before. There is something abnormal about the way my body processes alcohol. If this abnormality is termed alcoholism then so be it. I am not interested in labels but do see the absolute need to avoid alcohol for the rest of my life. I have figured out that I can drink or have the life I want and f$&$ deserve. I had a pretty ****** childhood with a mom who suffered from bordeline personality disorder ( she is a lot mellow now thank god, she is almost 82) and need to find some kind of happiness and balance in my adulthood.
I used to believe that I was personally responsible for the outcome of things around me. Boy, that belief put such weight on my shoulders that soon I found myself on my knees and lets nor forget the pint of Bacardi in my hand lol. I guess what I am trying to say is that learning how to live life on life's terms and not mine is the only way to go for me.
Take good care everyone and if any of you are struggling please know it gets a lot better.
Natalie
Day 75 for me. I am not counting days on a daily basis but I use a sobriety ticker on another forum and it's hard to ignore so whenever I post on that forum it's right there for me to see. Also becoming sober on the first of the month and my birthday makes the math ridiculously easy to figure out.
Ok so 75 days it is. Feeling like I would have to be insane to Uconsider drinking as an option in my life. Have never been so convinced of anything in my life before. This is my third attempt at sobriety and I can tell you I have never come to these conclusions before. There is something abnormal about the way my body processes alcohol. If this abnormality is termed alcoholism then so be it. I am not interested in labels but do see the absolute need to avoid alcohol for the rest of my life. I have figured out that I can drink or have the life I want and f$&$ deserve. I had a pretty ****** childhood with a mom who suffered from bordeline personality disorder ( she is a lot mellow now thank god, she is almost 82) and need to find some kind of happiness and balance in my adulthood.
I used to believe that I was personally responsible for the outcome of things around me. Boy, that belief put such weight on my shoulders that soon I found myself on my knees and lets nor forget the pint of Bacardi in my hand lol. I guess what I am trying to say is that learning how to live life on life's terms and not mine is the only way to go for me.
Take good care everyone and if any of you are struggling please know it gets a lot better.
Natalie
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Originally Posted by NatalieN 
need to find some kind of happiness and balance in my adulthood.
Boy, that belief put such weight on my shoulders that soon I found myself on my knees....
Boy, that belief put such weight on my shoulders that soon I found myself on my knees....
Have a great weekend)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Nevada
Posts: 174
Went to a xmas party and watched as many got wasted. It was such a reminder of why I quit. But thankfully I stayed sober. I wasn't even tempted to drink. My confidence is building and my new life feels really good. It's been well over a decade since I've been sober for this long. I hear stories of people relapsing after a lengthy time of sobriety. That scares me.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Fly Over America
Posts: 14
Hello All,
Well day 79 for me and over the last week I have had a few of the so called "Drinking Dreams".
The dreams are actually enjoyable and due to the good REM action of dreaming I wake up refreshed.
The brain is an odd thing-------------
Well day 79 for me and over the last week I have had a few of the so called "Drinking Dreams".
The dreams are actually enjoyable and due to the good REM action of dreaming I wake up refreshed.
The brain is an odd thing-------------
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Florida US
Posts: 296
Checking in to say hello to my October class. I am doing good and see that others are as well. Today I am a little pissed off. My sister who abuses alcohol came by and is sitting in the back with my husband having her 3rd beer of the hour. There were beers left over from Thanksgiving which hubby put in the garage for Christmas eve when we will have a large family dinner at our home. My sister called earlier today to say she was on her way over to drop off gifts for my children because she won't attend our Christmas party. She asked my husband for a drink as soon as she got here and he put some beers in the freezer which they are now enjoying in the back yard. I don't feel like being back there with them and won't. I am in the florida room watching a horror movie with my two daughters and my niece.
I am mad, not because I can't drink. I dont want to drink. I have no cravings or desires. I am mad because she is mixing her Xanax with beer and she is enjoying her high in my house, with my husband who has modified his drinking habits to support my sobriety.
Thank god Christmas is only once a year and for the most part I don't have to see my sister any other time.
I don't think I am jealous because I really would not want to be in her shoes. I feel as if the safety of my own home has been violated. I feel my husband didn't have to make that beer available to her. We had already agreed that it would be for the Christmas party. I don't want to be a control freak but her behavior is pissing me off.
I know writing about this will make me feel better. I always feel better after posting here.
Natalie
I am mad, not because I can't drink. I dont want to drink. I have no cravings or desires. I am mad because she is mixing her Xanax with beer and she is enjoying her high in my house, with my husband who has modified his drinking habits to support my sobriety.
Thank god Christmas is only once a year and for the most part I don't have to see my sister any other time.
I don't think I am jealous because I really would not want to be in her shoes. I feel as if the safety of my own home has been violated. I feel my husband didn't have to make that beer available to her. We had already agreed that it would be for the Christmas party. I don't want to be a control freak but her behavior is pissing me off.
I know writing about this will make me feel better. I always feel better after posting here.
Natalie
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Nevada
Posts: 174
Sorry to hear about tough times Natalie. Sobriety can become selfish and that's ok. You have to work really hard at staying sober so it's only normal to feel threatened and hurt when others over indulge around you. But just be selfish for a bit and only worry about you. It helps me to think that way sometimes.
Sober since October
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the world in my eyes...Somewhere I've never been before...
Posts: 7,355
Hi, Octsobermates! It's Day 71 for me)
I wish you all Happy Sober Christmas. Thank you that we are doing this journey together)
Have great Holidays!
I wish you all Happy Sober Christmas. Thank you that we are doing this journey together)
Have great Holidays!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Florida US
Posts: 296
Happy sober Chritsmas to all.
I am in a much better place tonight. Our family get together is over and I trully enjoyes my virgin egg nog. I could really get used to this sober life. I love it.
You are right Dee. I told husband I did not appreciate his or my sister's actions yesterday. He promised me it won't happen again.
Natalie
I am in a much better place tonight. Our family get together is over and I trully enjoyes my virgin egg nog. I could really get used to this sober life. I love it.
You are right Dee. I told husband I did not appreciate his or my sister's actions yesterday. He promised me it won't happen again.
Natalie
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Inbetween dances
Posts: 548
Well, I'm struggling a bit with my husband. He can say the right things if provoked, but can't walk the line. I'm considering divorce. I found a couple houses to look at. I know the year and under rule, however I hve felt this way for a long time and I am not going to live my life with him throwing my past in my face every time HE wants to go out drinking. I won't drink today and I know that. Instead of romanticizing a drink, I'm romanticizing a life without him to bring me down. Is that wrong?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 19
Hey guys and gals. I've been reading but not posting. I'm generally not one to speak unless I truly have something to say.
Anyway, I posted a question over on the newcomers page and would really appreciate any thoughts or suggestions you may have.
Now at 2 months working on today!
Blessings to you all!
CP
Anyway, I posted a question over on the newcomers page and would really appreciate any thoughts or suggestions you may have.
Now at 2 months working on today!
Blessings to you all!
CP
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Florida US
Posts: 296
Fallingtogether what a difficult situation to be in. I wish you success in whatever choice you ultimately make. Do you have children together? I don't really have any advice *but I am rooting for you and your sobriety.
You deserve to be happy. My dh has modified his drinking habits tremendously to accommodate my sobriety and doesn't go out drinking with friends. I don't know what I would do if he did that. I was sober for over 6 years once and can frankly tell you his drinking totally stopped being an issue during this time. He occasionally bought and put beers in our fridge but they were no different to me than the bottle of ketchup. I drank again because I stopped using the proven tools of sobriety not because he would occasionally fill my fridge with beer. *I am also very lucky he is the type not to bring up the past ever.
This sobriety business is really an inside job. Our loved ones support is nice but not indispensable. Anyway this is just my experience with dh and by no means a suggestion of how you should handle this obstacle you are facing. I think we married women trying to stay sober have it a lot harder than single men.
Best of luck on your journey.
Natalie*
You deserve to be happy. My dh has modified his drinking habits tremendously to accommodate my sobriety and doesn't go out drinking with friends. I don't know what I would do if he did that. I was sober for over 6 years once and can frankly tell you his drinking totally stopped being an issue during this time. He occasionally bought and put beers in our fridge but they were no different to me than the bottle of ketchup. I drank again because I stopped using the proven tools of sobriety not because he would occasionally fill my fridge with beer. *I am also very lucky he is the type not to bring up the past ever.
This sobriety business is really an inside job. Our loved ones support is nice but not indispensable. Anyway this is just my experience with dh and by no means a suggestion of how you should handle this obstacle you are facing. I think we married women trying to stay sober have it a lot harder than single men.
Best of luck on your journey.
Natalie*
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Florida US
Posts: 296
Hello *cowboypastor,
I read your post on the other thread. Are you a real pastor? If you are I can totally understand your reluctance to join a group like AA for help with your alcohol abuse.*
I attended AA for 5 years and met a few wonderful women who I am still friends with. I attended a women's meeting once a week and the fellowship of these women is what helped me stay sober as long as I did. I was never big on working the steps or the sponsor thing. Plenty will say that's why *I relapsed and that's fine but I was never completely sold on their philosophy of powerlessness. I also find the act of relying in a supernatural being very foreign to my upbringing.*
With that being said, I still think you should keep trying to look for an AA group that makes you feel comfortable and safe, then find your own path. If it turns out to be AA, then fine. AA doesn't have a monopoly on recovery although the majority of its members think it does. There are many secular approaches that are very successful. There is a *subforum here dedicated to that.*
Perhaps you should familiarize your wife with these different approaches.*
I know a ton of *women with several years of sobriety who have never stepped a foot in an AA meeting. Most of these women live in Europe and Australia *where the culture is more secular and doctors do not recommend AA. These women use *various tools to stay sober and what keeps them sober year after year is their commitment to sobriety and their fellowship with each other via the forum, chats and private messages and emails. Face to face meetings are helpful but people do get sober without them.
Best of luck on this challenging but ultimately amazing journey. I am sure you will find your own path.
I read your post on the other thread. Are you a real pastor? If you are I can totally understand your reluctance to join a group like AA for help with your alcohol abuse.*
I attended AA for 5 years and met a few wonderful women who I am still friends with. I attended a women's meeting once a week and the fellowship of these women is what helped me stay sober as long as I did. I was never big on working the steps or the sponsor thing. Plenty will say that's why *I relapsed and that's fine but I was never completely sold on their philosophy of powerlessness. I also find the act of relying in a supernatural being very foreign to my upbringing.*
With that being said, I still think you should keep trying to look for an AA group that makes you feel comfortable and safe, then find your own path. If it turns out to be AA, then fine. AA doesn't have a monopoly on recovery although the majority of its members think it does. There are many secular approaches that are very successful. There is a *subforum here dedicated to that.*
Perhaps you should familiarize your wife with these different approaches.*
I know a ton of *women with several years of sobriety who have never stepped a foot in an AA meeting. Most of these women live in Europe and Australia *where the culture is more secular and doctors do not recommend AA. These women use *various tools to stay sober and what keeps them sober year after year is their commitment to sobriety and their fellowship with each other via the forum, chats and private messages and emails. Face to face meetings are helpful but people do get sober without them.
Best of luck on this challenging but ultimately amazing journey. I am sure you will find your own path.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 19
Natalie, thank you for your input.
I'm ashamed to admit that yes, yes I am a pastor. However, I have taken leave from the role for some time now. This is THE one thing that has beaten me in my faith and I don't understand why I can't seem to overcome it.
As for any reluctance on my part, well, I've come to a place in life and in my calling that I refuse to try to hide my sins, shortcomings, failures, whatever one might choose to call them. The fact is, we are all human and subject to frailties of the flesh. Being a pastor does not immune one from those things any more than being a doctor immunes one from the ravages of cancer.
Your encouragement and concern is truly appreciated.
CP
I'm ashamed to admit that yes, yes I am a pastor. However, I have taken leave from the role for some time now. This is THE one thing that has beaten me in my faith and I don't understand why I can't seem to overcome it.
As for any reluctance on my part, well, I've come to a place in life and in my calling that I refuse to try to hide my sins, shortcomings, failures, whatever one might choose to call them. The fact is, we are all human and subject to frailties of the flesh. Being a pastor does not immune one from those things any more than being a doctor immunes one from the ravages of cancer.
Your encouragement and concern is truly appreciated.
CP
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Nevada
Posts: 174
I haven't checked in for a while. I'm still sober. No real positive experiences other than sobriety. I guess I've been waiting for the clouds to part and a ray of light to appear to let me know I'm on the right path. But as long as I stay sober that's all that matters.
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