Class Of September 2012 Part 8
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Class Of September 2012 Part 8
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: My city of ruins...
Posts: 593
Hi All! Still struggling here at the Shore and dealing with everything from dwindling supplies, 5 hour gas lines, no power, etc.
Listen classmates who have faltered...you are fighting for your lives. This is a marathon not a sprint and we will not win every race. However, if this hopeless alcoholic can make it through my current challenges of superstorm Sandy without a drink ANYONE can. We just have to want it bad enough. I know I do, and from what I know of you all you do too. Keep it moving and move it for keeps.
I'm amazed that all of this chaos surrounds me yet I remain sober. And believe me, I'm grateful. I could NEVER have supported my family and friends properly if this was 3 months ago. It is almost like God gave me the strength to get sober because he knew this was coming and I had to be. Simple as that. I cannot guarantee a lifetime, but I can guarantee today. And that's how I'm doing it. One day at a time...
The destruction my towns have suffered is so massive I'm overwhelmed everytime I see footage. I'm only a mile or so away and cannot even get close to see it for myself. The National Guard, FEMA and other disaster personnel are descending in droves and their support is badly needed.
So, that's my report and thoughts for today. I'm so thankful and now know the meaning of true gratitude. Back when the cell phone universe will allow.
Listen classmates who have faltered...you are fighting for your lives. This is a marathon not a sprint and we will not win every race. However, if this hopeless alcoholic can make it through my current challenges of superstorm Sandy without a drink ANYONE can. We just have to want it bad enough. I know I do, and from what I know of you all you do too. Keep it moving and move it for keeps.
I'm amazed that all of this chaos surrounds me yet I remain sober. And believe me, I'm grateful. I could NEVER have supported my family and friends properly if this was 3 months ago. It is almost like God gave me the strength to get sober because he knew this was coming and I had to be. Simple as that. I cannot guarantee a lifetime, but I can guarantee today. And that's how I'm doing it. One day at a time...
The destruction my towns have suffered is so massive I'm overwhelmed everytime I see footage. I'm only a mile or so away and cannot even get close to see it for myself. The National Guard, FEMA and other disaster personnel are descending in droves and their support is badly needed.
So, that's my report and thoughts for today. I'm so thankful and now know the meaning of true gratitude. Back when the cell phone universe will allow.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 516
Ugh, I seem to have been dumped by a friend and I'm not sure why. She wasn't a drinking buddy and wasn't witness to my drinking but now will barely return my texts or emails and if she does, it's a one word reply. I'm feeling used and trying not to obsess about it but it still hurts.
Sorry to vent about something so small when so many of you are going through serious things from the hurricane.
Sorry to vent about something so small when so many of you are going through serious things from the hurricane.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: My city of ruins...
Posts: 593
Eli - out with the negative and in with the positive. If she doesn't want to be friendly with you then she's not worth your time. I've had friends over the years come and go, some for reasons I understand and some for reasons I don't. It's life, and people come in and out of ours for various circumstances and I've learned (even before I got sober) that I can just be the best person I know how and if that isn't good enough for someone then I don't need them taking up valuable brain space.
Perhaps an inquiry if she is ok - she may have something going on that you are not aware of. If she continues to be distant let her know you are there for her if she needs you. That way, she knows you care and you can go about your business knowing that you reached out.
Just my opinion
still have Internet for now so lots of time on my hands to ponder the Universe...until it goes down again!
Perhaps an inquiry if she is ok - she may have something going on that you are not aware of. If she continues to be distant let her know you are there for her if she needs you. That way, she knows you care and you can go about your business knowing that you reached out.
Just my opinion
still have Internet for now so lots of time on my hands to ponder the Universe...until it goes down again!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Central Kansas
Posts: 175
WWG, Jim, & LWB- My 60 days sober was on Halloween. I recieved a 60 day coin and was asked, "How have I been able to get to this point in recovery and stay sober?"
All I could say in all honesty is by "Staying BUSY". I'm not talking about filling up my days with "activities" just to keep myself from thinking about drinking. I'm talking about about filling up my mind with all the "ammunition" I need to battle this demon.
I went from obsessing over alcohol...to obsessing over my recovery. The past 60 days has been all about me and my recovery.
This has been no easy feat for me, as I am a people pleaser and have at times felt guilty for putting my own needs ahead of others. But, I realize that if I am to be a benefit to others I have to take care of me first.
Each one of us are unique in our own way. We alone have to decide what is going to work for us in our sobriety. Some seek AA, some seek AVRT...
Regardless of which avenue we choose to go, we have to WORK the program.
In my desperation to sober up...I put myself into an "Intensive Out Patient" Rehab Program, I am now going to "Continuing Care" on a weekly basis.
I have to travel an hour there and an hour back. Not only is the time spent traveling an inconvenience to me, but the cost of gas is a killer as well. Is it worth it? I guess I should ask is my life worth it? Absolutely!!
AA will be a life program for me. Working the 12 Steps are tools I need to not only stay sober but help me to understand more about myself and the many reasons that put me in my drunken state in the first place. Lot's of emotionally issues that trigger my drinking and are locked deep inside my mind, need to come out and be dealt with. AA can help me with that as well.
I am an advocate for AA...It works for me, and when something works you can't help but shout it out! However I also realize it is not for everyone. All I know to say to you all is...Find what works for you and work it! You know that ol' saying "you get out of it what you put into it?" It is so true!
I have seen 5 alcohol related deaths of people I knew personally or whom I was aquainted with, die from alcohol related deaths in the past 1 1/2 years,
4 of them young people in their 20's. It's ugly!
You know that 60 day coin I mentioned? I discovered that it is not only given to those recovering as a "celebration"...but it is also a symbol to those who are still struggling to see for themselves that recovery is possible for them as well.
Oh one more thought...My husband also thought (at one time) that I could control my drinking...He finally knows better now, and has become a big support for me and he has decided to join me in giving up his 30 some years of addiction to pot.
Life is NOT perfect by any means, but, it is getting better!
Never stop searching, digging, seeking, etc...There are a lot of resources out there that offer help...You CAN do this!!!
Eli- Try to concentrate on friendships that are beneficial to you. Don't let other's get into Your "head". If this person is a true friend she/he will come back around. Take care of Yourself! You are worth it!
All I could say in all honesty is by "Staying BUSY". I'm not talking about filling up my days with "activities" just to keep myself from thinking about drinking. I'm talking about about filling up my mind with all the "ammunition" I need to battle this demon.
I went from obsessing over alcohol...to obsessing over my recovery. The past 60 days has been all about me and my recovery.
This has been no easy feat for me, as I am a people pleaser and have at times felt guilty for putting my own needs ahead of others. But, I realize that if I am to be a benefit to others I have to take care of me first.
Each one of us are unique in our own way. We alone have to decide what is going to work for us in our sobriety. Some seek AA, some seek AVRT...
Regardless of which avenue we choose to go, we have to WORK the program.
In my desperation to sober up...I put myself into an "Intensive Out Patient" Rehab Program, I am now going to "Continuing Care" on a weekly basis.
I have to travel an hour there and an hour back. Not only is the time spent traveling an inconvenience to me, but the cost of gas is a killer as well. Is it worth it? I guess I should ask is my life worth it? Absolutely!!
AA will be a life program for me. Working the 12 Steps are tools I need to not only stay sober but help me to understand more about myself and the many reasons that put me in my drunken state in the first place. Lot's of emotionally issues that trigger my drinking and are locked deep inside my mind, need to come out and be dealt with. AA can help me with that as well.
I am an advocate for AA...It works for me, and when something works you can't help but shout it out! However I also realize it is not for everyone. All I know to say to you all is...Find what works for you and work it! You know that ol' saying "you get out of it what you put into it?" It is so true!
I have seen 5 alcohol related deaths of people I knew personally or whom I was aquainted with, die from alcohol related deaths in the past 1 1/2 years,
4 of them young people in their 20's. It's ugly!
You know that 60 day coin I mentioned? I discovered that it is not only given to those recovering as a "celebration"...but it is also a symbol to those who are still struggling to see for themselves that recovery is possible for them as well.
Oh one more thought...My husband also thought (at one time) that I could control my drinking...He finally knows better now, and has become a big support for me and he has decided to join me in giving up his 30 some years of addiction to pot.
Life is NOT perfect by any means, but, it is getting better!
Never stop searching, digging, seeking, etc...There are a lot of resources out there that offer help...You CAN do this!!!
Eli- Try to concentrate on friendships that are beneficial to you. Don't let other's get into Your "head". If this person is a true friend she/he will come back around. Take care of Yourself! You are worth it!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Coastal Massachusetts
Posts: 1,637
Originally Posted by SunnyFlower 
WWG, Jim, & LWB- My 60 days sober was on Halloween. I recieved a 60 day coin and was asked, "How have I been able to get to this point in recovery and stay sober?"
All I could say in all honesty is by "Staying BUSY". I'm not talking about filling up my days with "activities" just to keep myself from thinking about drinking. I'm talking about about filling up my mind with all the "ammunition" I need to battle this demon.
I went from obsessing over alcohol...to obsessing over my recovery. The past 60 days has been all about me and my recovery.
This has been no easy feat for me, as I am a people pleaser and have at times felt guilty for putting my own needs ahead of others. But, I realize that if I am to be a benefit to others I have to take care of me first.
Each one of us are unique in our own way. We alone have to decide what is going to work for us in our sobriety. Some seek AA, some seek AVRT...
Regardless of which avenue we choose to go, we have to WORK the program.
In my desperation to sober up...I put myself into an "Intensive Out Patient" Rehab Program, I am now going to "Continuing Care" on a weekly basis.
I have to travel an hour there and an hour back. Not only is the time spent traveling an inconvenience to me, but the cost of gas is a killer as well. Is it worth it? I guess I should ask is my life worth it? Absolutely!!
AA will be a life program for me. Working the 12 Steps are tools I need to not only stay sober but help me to understand more about myself and the many reasons that put me in my drunken state in the first place. Lot's of emotionally issues that trigger my drinking and are locked deep inside my mind, need to come out and be dealt with. AA can help me with that as well.
I am an advocate for AA...It works for me, and when something works you can't help but shout it out! However I also realize it is not for everyone. All I know to say to you all is...Find what works for you and work it! You know that ol' saying "you get out of it what you put into it?" It is so true!
I have seen 5 alcohol related deaths of people I knew personally or whom I was aquainted with, die from alcohol related deaths in the past 1 1/2 years,
4 of them young people in their 20's. It's ugly!
You know that 60 day coin I mentioned? I discovered that it is not only given to those recovering as a "celebration"...but it is also a symbol to those who are still struggling to see for themselves that recovery is possible for them as well.
Oh one more thought...My husband also thought (at one time) that I could control my drinking...He finally knows better now, and has become a big support for me and he has decided to join me in giving up his 30 some years of addiction to pot.
Life is NOT perfect by any means, but, it is getting better!
Never stop searching, digging, seeking, etc...There are a lot of resources out there that offer help...You CAN do this!!!
Eli- Try to concentrate on friendships that are beneficial to you. Don't let other's get into Your "head". If this person is a true friend she/he will come back around. Take care of Yourself! You are worth it!
All I could say in all honesty is by "Staying BUSY". I'm not talking about filling up my days with "activities" just to keep myself from thinking about drinking. I'm talking about about filling up my mind with all the "ammunition" I need to battle this demon.
I went from obsessing over alcohol...to obsessing over my recovery. The past 60 days has been all about me and my recovery.
This has been no easy feat for me, as I am a people pleaser and have at times felt guilty for putting my own needs ahead of others. But, I realize that if I am to be a benefit to others I have to take care of me first.
Each one of us are unique in our own way. We alone have to decide what is going to work for us in our sobriety. Some seek AA, some seek AVRT...
Regardless of which avenue we choose to go, we have to WORK the program.
In my desperation to sober up...I put myself into an "Intensive Out Patient" Rehab Program, I am now going to "Continuing Care" on a weekly basis.
I have to travel an hour there and an hour back. Not only is the time spent traveling an inconvenience to me, but the cost of gas is a killer as well. Is it worth it? I guess I should ask is my life worth it? Absolutely!!
AA will be a life program for me. Working the 12 Steps are tools I need to not only stay sober but help me to understand more about myself and the many reasons that put me in my drunken state in the first place. Lot's of emotionally issues that trigger my drinking and are locked deep inside my mind, need to come out and be dealt with. AA can help me with that as well.
I am an advocate for AA...It works for me, and when something works you can't help but shout it out! However I also realize it is not for everyone. All I know to say to you all is...Find what works for you and work it! You know that ol' saying "you get out of it what you put into it?" It is so true!
I have seen 5 alcohol related deaths of people I knew personally or whom I was aquainted with, die from alcohol related deaths in the past 1 1/2 years,
4 of them young people in their 20's. It's ugly!
You know that 60 day coin I mentioned? I discovered that it is not only given to those recovering as a "celebration"...but it is also a symbol to those who are still struggling to see for themselves that recovery is possible for them as well.
Oh one more thought...My husband also thought (at one time) that I could control my drinking...He finally knows better now, and has become a big support for me and he has decided to join me in giving up his 30 some years of addiction to pot.
Life is NOT perfect by any means, but, it is getting better!
Never stop searching, digging, seeking, etc...There are a lot of resources out there that offer help...You CAN do this!!!
Eli- Try to concentrate on friendships that are beneficial to you. Don't let other's get into Your "head". If this person is a true friend she/he will come back around. Take care of Yourself! You are worth it!
The more I focus on recovery, the less I think of drinking.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Motherwell Scotland
Posts: 199
Brilliant post SunnyFlower.
I agree, whatever works for you to stay sober is the important thing.
I am on day number 62 without going to AA but I need to read about alcohol, or alcoholics, every day to remind me of the damage it was doing to me.
Good luck to everybody and I hope we can all stay strong this weekend.
I agree, whatever works for you to stay sober is the important thing.
I am on day number 62 without going to AA but I need to read about alcohol, or alcoholics, every day to remind me of the damage it was doing to me.
Good luck to everybody and I hope we can all stay strong this weekend.
A girl can dream...
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Recovery Road
Posts: 388
Sunny, what a wonderful post! I'm adding it to my special list of ones I go back to and reread often for encouragement. We bought a small flat in California a few years back and when we've gone down in the past we've spent a lot of time renovating and redecorating so it helped keep me busy. Now that it's all done I started to panic about what I'd do with all my spare time.
But you're right! I made a list of things - actual touristy things - that I've always wanted to do and see but never made the time. Now I'll have the time and it'll get me out more often and keep me busy. Plus I REALLY miss reading. In the old days I'd pick up a book after a few drinks (or more) and convince myself I could read. I'd read the same page over and over and still not remember what I read. Have my iPad loaded and ready to go - plus lots of interesting articles online about recovery. Thanks again for the great post!
But you're right! I made a list of things - actual touristy things - that I've always wanted to do and see but never made the time. Now I'll have the time and it'll get me out more often and keep me busy. Plus I REALLY miss reading. In the old days I'd pick up a book after a few drinks (or more) and convince myself I could read. I'd read the same page over and over and still not remember what I read. Have my iPad loaded and ready to go - plus lots of interesting articles online about recovery. Thanks again for the great post!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 183
Congrats sunshine! That's how I'm staying sober aswell. I replaced my obsession with booze with an obsession of getting better. And its working! The fear is still there but i keep it at just enough to remind me its always a risk. Not enough to let me get sucked back into it. Its amazing how much more sane I am now. I honestly thought I was a paranoid schitzophrantic/sociopath when i was drinking. Now that ive sobered up my thinking is...well...rational! Don't get me wrong i get small bouts of anxiety and depression which I need help with but I no longer feel like I'm completely insane! That's how much damage alcohol causes to your brain. I'm eager to be at 60 days too in a couple weeks but for now im enjoying this new ride of clarity.
WWG what's up man? Did you guys get hit hard from sandy? My brothers house has two feet of flood damage in the bottom floor. He has to rebuild it all. But everyone is safe.
WWG what's up man? Did you guys get hit hard from sandy? My brothers house has two feet of flood damage in the bottom floor. He has to rebuild it all. But everyone is safe.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Coastal Massachusetts
Posts: 1,637
Originally Posted by lefthook
Congrats sunshine! That's how I'm staying sober aswell. I replaced my obsession with booze with an obsession of getting better. And its working! The fear is still there but i keep it at just enough to remind me its always a risk. Not enough to let me get sucked back into it. Its amazing how much more sane I am now. I honestly thought I was a paranoid schitzophrantic/sociopath when i was drinking. Now that ive sobered up my thinking is...well...rational! Don't get me wrong i get small bouts of anxiety and depression which I need help with but I no longer feel like I'm completely insane! That's how much damage alcohol causes to your brain. I'm eager to be at 60 days too in a couple weeks but for now im enjoying this new ride of clarity.
WWG what's up man? Did you guys get hit hard from sandy? My brothers house has two feet of flood damage in the bottom floor. He has to rebuild it all. But everyone is safe.
WWG what's up man? Did you guys get hit hard from sandy? My brothers house has two feet of flood damage in the bottom floor. He has to rebuild it all. But everyone is safe.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: My city of ruins...
Posts: 593
Hi friends! Still no power, no gas and...well, same old song. Patience is wearing thin on day 5 with no lights but I'm still sober. I realized I'm on 60 days tomorrow - wow. I kinda stopped paying attention to the days about 3 weeks ago and all of a sudden here I am at 60!! Considering ALL of the triggers I've faced in brand new sobriety and then this devastating storm on top of it all it is a miracle I haven't touched a drop. But I didn't. And I'm not going to. I have today and a choice and I choose sober.
Couldn't have done this without SR - THANK YOU!!!!!
Couldn't have done this without SR - THANK YOU!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,525
Great post Sunny and congrats on 60 days.
IWW, I am glad you are still doing well. I too am on day 5 no power... Argh.
Left hook sounds like you are doing great
WWG, Jim and LWB, I am sorry to hear of your stumbles
but it sounds like you all have correctly realized that the only thing to do is keep trying!
Day 56 here for me. I am eagerly anticipating day 60 on Tuesday. I bought myself a new necklace for the occasion and it is waiting for me here at home, I can't wait to open it and put it on. Milestones are so motivating.
I agree with sunny, in that I feel I've got this far by focusing on recovery. A big part of that is checking in here. Thank you all for your love and support
Will check in again soon. Since we have no power I do have limited ability to be here, but in the meantime, please know I'm thinking of you all and that my sobriety is in a very solid place.
SBTS
IWW, I am glad you are still doing well. I too am on day 5 no power... Argh.
Left hook sounds like you are doing great
WWG, Jim and LWB, I am sorry to hear of your stumbles
but it sounds like you all have correctly realized that the only thing to do is keep trying!Day 56 here for me. I am eagerly anticipating day 60 on Tuesday. I bought myself a new necklace for the occasion and it is waiting for me here at home, I can't wait to open it and put it on. Milestones are so motivating.
I agree with sunny, in that I feel I've got this far by focusing on recovery. A big part of that is checking in here. Thank you all for your love and support
Will check in again soon. Since we have no power I do have limited ability to be here, but in the meantime, please know I'm thinking of you all and that my sobriety is in a very solid place.
SBTS
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