Class Of November 2012
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 133
Irelander, you brought tears to my eyes. I also knew some pp in AA years ago in my twenties. They told me to never lose my carefree spirit and that I was so lucky to start recovery so young. Well, legal problems were resolved, I kept on drinking but the carefree spirit eventually vanished and somewhere about 8 years ago, I looked around and most of my peers were married and having children.
I'll be 48 in a few days and don't want to enter my 5th decade so devoid of hope. I'm on day 3 (completed now) for the 3rd time in as many weeks. Day 4 has gotten me each time. I never really wanted children, but I always thought I would surely have a husband by now. I've just moved to a very small town to help my elderly mother and that is not going so well. No problem missing nightlife, I did most of my drinking at home with yardwork, writing, etc. I'm just used to the culture and community of a larger place.
I definitely have let many others down, but you are right, I have most of all let myself down. But I grew up learning that my feelings weren't very important, so it is VERY hard to feel bad about any damage to myself, or my life, so if I'm not drinking to quell anxiety, I'm often probably drinking to let myself wallow in self-pity. PRETTY DARN PATHETIC, I know!
Thanks to everyone for being here.
I'll be 48 in a few days and don't want to enter my 5th decade so devoid of hope. I'm on day 3 (completed now) for the 3rd time in as many weeks. Day 4 has gotten me each time. I never really wanted children, but I always thought I would surely have a husband by now. I've just moved to a very small town to help my elderly mother and that is not going so well. No problem missing nightlife, I did most of my drinking at home with yardwork, writing, etc. I'm just used to the culture and community of a larger place.
I definitely have let many others down, but you are right, I have most of all let myself down. But I grew up learning that my feelings weren't very important, so it is VERY hard to feel bad about any damage to myself, or my life, so if I'm not drinking to quell anxiety, I'm often probably drinking to let myself wallow in self-pity. PRETTY DARN PATHETIC, I know!
Thanks to everyone for being here.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
Well I now have 2 sober weekends under my belt and about to start my 2nd work week.
I quit 27th October but really want to be part of 'N🚫'vember club!
I've had a clumsy weekend and about to try and wash hair & shower with one hand as I cut my thumb quite deeply on Sat whilst batch cooking.
It has made all the 'I'm a loser, I can't do anything' self talk resurface but I'm determined to not be a victim. Accidents happen.
Anyways have a great week Novies. We can do it. After today I'm have 10 days under my belt!
Love to you all
S x
I quit 27th October but really want to be part of 'N🚫'vember club!
I've had a clumsy weekend and about to try and wash hair & shower with one hand as I cut my thumb quite deeply on Sat whilst batch cooking.
It has made all the 'I'm a loser, I can't do anything' self talk resurface but I'm determined to not be a victim. Accidents happen.
Anyways have a great week Novies. We can do it. After today I'm have 10 days under my belt!
Love to you all
S x
urban chicken
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 94
Good morning everyone.
After a few hours of sleep I am now wide awake, thinking. Thinking about everything and nothing at all. I forgot how the first few days are, it seems like nothing is in the right place. Today I start to clean up the mess I've made.
Day two and I'm making a priority of getting in to see a counselor/doctor asap. Of course, the number one priority is not drinking.
Going to try and get some more sleep. Thanks for always being here SR
roosta
After a few hours of sleep I am now wide awake, thinking. Thinking about everything and nothing at all. I forgot how the first few days are, it seems like nothing is in the right place. Today I start to clean up the mess I've made.
Day two and I'm making a priority of getting in to see a counselor/doctor asap. Of course, the number one priority is not drinking.
Going to try and get some more sleep. Thanks for always being here SR
roosta
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 67
Hoping everyone has a great day and a great week. Really inspiring to see people committed to sobriety here, no matter how many times they stray the course.
Just woke up, I might be back later to complain about how sobriety is hard
Just woke up, I might be back later to complain about how sobriety is hard
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Surprise AZ
Posts: 293
Welcome everyone! Working on day 2! Yesterday was awful...Had a boat load of anxiety, but the good news is that usually my anxiety goes away after about 4 or 5 days clean.
Today I feel like I can take on the world! Im not lethargic this morning or hung over. I just have to keep reminding myself where I came from, and keep focused on the path of where I am going.
Solstice3 - Thank you so much for posting! Lets make sobriety stick this time so we can both look back in a year and ask "WAs that really me?" Its time to treat ourselves to a little bit of sanity.
But first...day 2
Today I feel like I can take on the world! Im not lethargic this morning or hung over. I just have to keep reminding myself where I came from, and keep focused on the path of where I am going.
Solstice3 - Thank you so much for posting! Lets make sobriety stick this time so we can both look back in a year and ask "WAs that really me?" Its time to treat ourselves to a little bit of sanity.
But first...day 2
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Virginia
Posts: 9
Day one.
Tonight I am going with my AH to an AA meeting to pick up a white chip.
It seemed the further he gets in recovery the more it (alcohol) consumed my thoughts.. He says that I have a mental obsession, which I agree with.. <3
~ Rebecca
Tonight I am going with my AH to an AA meeting to pick up a white chip.
It seemed the further he gets in recovery the more it (alcohol) consumed my thoughts.. He says that I have a mental obsession, which I agree with.. <3
~ Rebecca
urban chicken
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 94
Got a few more hours sleep. I called my insurance and found out that I don't need to have a referral from my PCM nor do I have to go to the hospital on base. I have found a counselor who specializes in past abuse and PTSD. I'm hoping she calls me back today.
I got up and got a shower and forced myself to open the blinds. I still feel like hiding today.
I really miss my husband.
It's amazing, I used alcohol to sequester myself from the outside world, but now when at my lowest I wish I wasn't so alone. Can't have my cake and eat it too. Time to get off the pity ride for one and stop being so damn selfish.
I did get hit with a trigger first thing this morning. I didn't feel like drinking, but the terror washed over me like a tidal wave. A very scary thing about PTSD is that it usually isn't the first wave that knocks me down, its the hundreds behind it. I'm too stunned to get out of the way, and its back in the hole I go.
Thanks for listening. SR is my lifeline. Have a safe and sober day everyone.
roosta
I got up and got a shower and forced myself to open the blinds. I still feel like hiding today.
I really miss my husband.
It's amazing, I used alcohol to sequester myself from the outside world, but now when at my lowest I wish I wasn't so alone. Can't have my cake and eat it too. Time to get off the pity ride for one and stop being so damn selfish. I did get hit with a trigger first thing this morning. I didn't feel like drinking, but the terror washed over me like a tidal wave. A very scary thing about PTSD is that it usually isn't the first wave that knocks me down, its the hundreds behind it. I'm too stunned to get out of the way, and its back in the hole I go.
Thanks for listening. SR is my lifeline. Have a safe and sober day everyone.
roosta
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 133
OK, Day 4, you evil +$%&*! I woke up this morning feeling foggy and alienated. Lots of dreams last night, not drinking dreams, just very vivid ones - so much detail.
I'll try to be here lots today, gotta make it thru it. On a tight budget but was able to get a lot of Xmas shopping done last nite at a local store with a big sale, so I won't have that impending anxiety over the next two months. Last couple of years I have been the last minute grouch looking for toys in Kmart, etc. a few days before Xmas for nieces and nephews. Feels really good to be ahead of the game. I can wrap them and put them aside and move on to what is most important.
When I drink, I procrastinate, I think out of fear. Do I like fear, or need to create it so I feel an excuse to drink? I have to eliminate or face the things that I used as reasons to drink. I know there is so so much more to it, but AA is very limited where I am and I can't really go because the town is too small and they talk here. If I was in my old city, I would go and had before, but it never worked for me so I'm trying a different tactic this time. I'm still reading my big book, of course.
So please bear with me if my posts are long and thanks for your support.
I'll try to be here lots today, gotta make it thru it. On a tight budget but was able to get a lot of Xmas shopping done last nite at a local store with a big sale, so I won't have that impending anxiety over the next two months. Last couple of years I have been the last minute grouch looking for toys in Kmart, etc. a few days before Xmas for nieces and nephews. Feels really good to be ahead of the game. I can wrap them and put them aside and move on to what is most important.
When I drink, I procrastinate, I think out of fear. Do I like fear, or need to create it so I feel an excuse to drink? I have to eliminate or face the things that I used as reasons to drink. I know there is so so much more to it, but AA is very limited where I am and I can't really go because the town is too small and they talk here. If I was in my old city, I would go and had before, but it never worked for me so I'm trying a different tactic this time. I'm still reading my big book, of course.
So please bear with me if my posts are long and thanks for your support.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 58
Mid-way through my 2nd day (36 hours sober) and I feel exceptionally well! Shakes and sweats from yesterday are gone, still cloudy headed of course and a little lethargic physically and mentally, but I have the courage and strength to do this... I know it. I have been out of town the last couple of days and when I get home tonight, I am recruiting the help of those closest to me. Letting them know my plan and ask for their help! Hope everyone enjoys this beautiful day!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,204
Good work everyone!!! Halfway through day five and not even tempted. I don't ever want this anxiety again, caused by drinking. Once this week is over and I know I am safe, I am never looking back. Whew. So tired of that life.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Surprise AZ
Posts: 293
Here at work. Not feeling that great but I am getting through. My job is very stressful and while being sober may help me to cope with all the crap that goes on here. Im not sure it is possi le to stay sober at a job that puts me in a position to want to drink early in recovery.
Lol, not sure but I think I am blaming drinking on work...well...I dunno. Has anyone thought that quitting a stressful job helped them in early recovery? Maybe im just looking for a reason to quit this hell hole.
Lol, not sure but I think I am blaming drinking on work...well...I dunno. Has anyone thought that quitting a stressful job helped them in early recovery? Maybe im just looking for a reason to quit this hell hole.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Liverpool, UK
Posts: 10
Hello fellow Novies!! Day one for me. And feelin great! S'only cuz I no the real challenge will come when the weekend arrives and everyone is out and I either stay in on me own or go out and try to remain sober. I'm feeling strong today. Alcohol makes me feel weak. Must remember that.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
