mirage

So near the end of last year, I subbed as a para-pro (helper to head teacher) for Head Start pre-school here in our school district. I really enjoyed it. Little ones are a ton of work, but they're so cute. So I've been hoping that maybe some day I could get in there doing that. It won't make me a million dollars, but it seemed like a nice way to make a supplemental income. (For now, that will work. If we divorce, I may have to look for something better.)

Anyway, today, I got on the job posting site for our school district and there was an opening! It's perfect, it's part time, 12pm-4pm every day, which is great cuz I still have to get Ben on the bus in the morning for one more year, I really don't want to leave him alone every morning. Of course I'd get the boys' days off, too...same vacation schedule. Anyway, I'm applying for it and am hoping for an interview in a week or two. Wish me luck!

Dee74

go for it Mirage :

D

aussieblue

Good luck Mirage!!!!!
Time for something nice for you.

Dee74

I feel like your avatar this morning aussie

D

aussieblue

Dee,I hope your not coming down with somthing. But aint he the cutest little thing .

Dee74

just aches and pains Aussie - and yeah he is cute

D

aussieblue

mirage

Hope you're feeling less achy today, Dee!

Just got home from the movies..went and saw Flight with Denzel Washington. Go see it, Marchers! Wow, it was something. Very good, and deep, and heart breaking, and real.

Dee74

Not really
I'm back on a pill regime and feel a little better for it tho

D

aussieblue

Your probably aching from all that laughing your doing.lol.

Mirage I am glad you enjoyed the movie, is that your dog in your avatar?

mirage

Aw, well glad the pills are workin a bit, anyway. At least you're loved a ton, so there's that.

Yes aussie, that's Roxie. Got her lickin her chops! The groomer put that Halloween bow on her when she got her hair cut. haha.

Ok, don't get TOO excited about my job opportunity, cuz I just realized they're offering the position internally first. That's not good. I'll apply anyway, but I'm not as hopeful.

Lookin forward to the presidential election on Tuesday. It's like the Oscars or the Super Bowl! (For me, anyway.) I'll make snacks and be glued to the telly, watching the results roll in. It's fun.

mirage

So I've been spending some time on that forum for infidelity, cuz it's good to see people going through the same thing, to not feel alone, get advice, etc. But today I was on there and it spurred thoughts I didn't have before and made me really anxious to read that people are 3 or 4 years out and still having problems getting past it, etc. I started crying and D asked if I was sure I should be reading that. I think maybe I'll take a break and see how I feel. It's almost like a compulsion to check and then often times I feel really lousy after. So I've decided, if I feel like reading a forum, I'm going to read here, instead. Chances are, it will strengthen my sobriety, too, and maybe even help someone else, tho I'm not a big poster anywhere but this thread. My point is, I think I need to put less energy there and more back here. I'll see how that feels.

Have a good night/day everyone. Hugs to you all.

bryangt

Hope everyone is well. Not a fan of this cold weather...at all! It's cold riding bike into work. Had quit a bit of anxiety all weekend long...most of it job related--can't seem to shake it. I need the money, hate the job. My son has been staying at my house all the time now...good & bad. He was supposed to have his DUI trial this week, but we got it postponed again...good & bad. I have been in this funk for too long now & something may give sooner or later...I won't drink, but I feel like running away...but really can't do that either...would upset too many people..I realize I got real issues, anxiety & depression....but have no health insurance, so I'm stuck spinning in my head and the butterflies are on a rampage in my stomach. The only time I feel better is when I'm asleep or praying....bad part is, people are starting to ask me "are you alright?" all the time so it must be showing. Even when I got of a jail last September I was in a far better mood, energetic and not down as much all things considered. I just feel like I'm losing control of my life again...even though I turn my will over every day to my HP. I try so hard to take it one day at a time...each day gets tougher...something has to give soon. Thanks for letting me vent....

aussieblue

Mirage I think that other forum is not helping you ,its keeping you in a bad place and upsetting you, give it a miss.

Bryan , sorry your feeling like this, I struggle with depression myself.I wish I could give you some advice but I don't have any. Just know that I am thinking of you.

I told you all a while back about my friend with terminal liver cancer , he lost his battle yesterday. This last week has been very hard on his wife ,he has been in hospital with everything failing and infection . He was a very popular person within the village and will be deeply missed.

Dee74

I'm sorry for your loss C.

Have you tried a free or low cost clinic Bryan?

mirage - not all forums are awesome like this one - or run by awesome and humble moderators

If it's not helping, step away I reckon - at least for a while?
D

bryangt

Dee--was curious..where about in the South Seas are you located..? Must be beautiful!

mirage

Ha, yes you're right about this forum, Dee..and about stepping away. I guess I kept thinking I'd learn something, but it mostly brings up really sad feelings now. I'm gonna take a break and see if I feel more positive.

Thanks aussie, I think you might be right. Maybe I've learned all I need to know from them and it's time to start healing in my own way now. I'm so sorry about your friend. Big hugs to you, I'm sure it's very hard.

Oh bryan, I wish there was more I could do than say I'm thinkin about you and hope you feel better. I know so many who have benefited from medication for anxiety and depression, I would love to see you sort out how to try some. I don't know how free clinics work, but maybe call around? Anyway, I"m sorry you're struggling so.

How are things, frances? Are you getting back to normal after the power outage?

Dee74

I live in Australia Bryan - I really am on the shore of the Pacific tho

D

frances2011

Hi all! All's well here.

We have a friend and her doggie, plus another Sandy Refuge dog we're keeping while her people sort things out with their house. My dog is in DOG HEAVEN having TWO, count em, TWO playmates.

Fricking, flipping grateful to have power and heat.

Bryan, sending you wishes that you feel better. I need medication for my anxiety/depression, which I started after giving sobriety 6 months to see if I could re-set on my own.

HI AUSSIE & DEE. Send us some early summer vibes! Is it warm?

Today is election day in the U.S. I hope we have a result by tonight.

XOXO

frances2011

Mirage, I agree with what I'm hearing from you about absorbing what you need to learn, and then stepping away. Sounds like you are being practical and loving to yourself.

Sometimes I feel the same way about Newcomers here, sometimes it's just what I need.

The Grats threads are always good for filling me up on SR Hope & Positivity, even if I just read and don't post.