Saskia

Good morning, fellow travellers!

Day 10 (if I'm counting correctly!).

Yes, it's that time of year. Gloomy some days and early phases of stopping alcohol is a bumpy ride.

Dutchie, fellow countryman, good for you for staying sober while feeling not so good!

Black, nice that you have sunshine today. I hope your addiction counselor can help with the anger.

Obladi, I enjoy your posts!

Dan Dare, JustHadEnough, dogmamma, FallingTogether, butterfly blue, red viper, dSober, and everyone else I missed: I wish you all a calm and sober day!

Dutchie

I thought your name sounded Dutch! Am a fellow coutrygirl though

Saskia

Aha! It's funny how difficult it can be to tell gender from forum names! My real name is too unpronounceable by Americans and this is where I've been living.

Have a great day!

Obladi

Some Americans can get with the linguistics, Saskia - don't write us all off.

Good morning everyone, and thanks for making sure your avatar is "not scary," Dee. I feel so much calmer now.

Know what Butterfly? I love this:
I knew you meant "fill," but I think "feel" might be exactly the right word. Not feel morose. Not feel remorse. Not feel challenged. But simply feel.

Something is shifting ever so slightly in my head to help me to (finally!) understand this whole mumbo jumbo business about feeling, accepting, loving, patience. I believe we DO need to "feel in the void," but that perhaps the most important part of that is to simply experience "what it is." No mystical magical stuff, just like... relax and BE, man.

Focussing on trying too much is what lands me in that place where I feel overwhelmed by my thoughts. Simply breathing is superior at this point.

Greetings to my fellow travelers, one and all. Even when I don't name names, rest assured I am reading, hoping, sympathizing and most of all rooting for you and your success.

Dee74

LOL I aim to please OB

D

dSober

You guys just reminded me of a funny story (I think). I'll try to keep it short.

I was in Amsterdam on business about 10 years ago. I was parked (standing actually) in front of the Victoria(?) hotel while my companion ran in for something. I was parked (standing) illegally. A cop car pulled up alongside me and the female cop in the passenger seat said something to me in dutch. I shrugged and replied in english: "I'm sorry I don't speak dutch... english please".

This went on 2 or 3 times before she finally said, in fluent english: "You can't park here". I already knew that, and the fact that most people, in the downtown area at least, spoke english. She was just having fun messing with me. We both chuckled, I said: "Thanks, I'm leaving", and we both (I suspect) continued our days with a smile.

fallingtogether

It's morning. It's actually a good morning, because I am not still partially drunk, suffering withdrawal hangover or shaking in my boots. it's not a good morning, though because I slept horrible. My kids and I have a pact that the first night that daddy leaves for work they get to sleep with me. In theory, my Cali king bed would be big enough, however my children are like ninja helicopters when they sleep, and I, their target. I think it's time to blow up the air mattress when daddy leaves town. (Wwe do this to soothe both them and I, I like to have them close to me) anywhas, all in all it Is a good morning, but mommy is just a wee bit tired! Talk to ya soon sr. Time to make some coffee and catch up.

kittycat3

Day 5 today. Mornings are so wonderful when I awake without regret from over imbibing, not to mention how great I feel physically. Stay strong today October class!

lilac0721

Good morning October peeps! I made it through yesterday, even though I didn't feel all that great. Had a busy day at work. Was sooooo tired by 530 pm but forced myself to go to a 7pm AA meeting.

Not sure what today holds. There's a meeting at 8pm and I just can't stay up much past 830. There are very few meetings I can get to in the rural area where I live. There are M-F meetings at noon, but typically I can't get to them because I work 30 minutes away and am usually unable to get any sort of break until after noon. I like the fellowship and I really like the spiritual aspect of the program, but since there are so few meetings (like 2-3 each week) I can get to I may need to supplement with another recovery method.

Funny, I was torturing myself over choosing a recovery method last week on day 2. Glad SR is here full of people walking different paths that are working for them.

justhadenough

how true this is! I often think someone is male/female then really surprised to find out they are the other gender!

Obladi

tmi, jhe

I'm joking, I'm joking!

justhadenough

Heck,just realized how that could be interpreted. :rotfxko

Neverthought

Thanks for the shout-out JHE.....and Thinking about everyone, whatever your situation may be....Hang in there!

I'm doing well, thank you! On day 15. kind of hit a wall of boredom. The honeymoon is diminishing. Over the weekend I was needing something more.

I read comments on how we need to add some ingredients to our lives to avoid relapsing or becoming somewhat lost in our endeavors.

I have done that by walking my Mastiff and better eating habits, to help fill the void. I lost 10 lbs. by abstaining, by making my own vegatable juice and nice walks with my Mastiff just about every day.

It really seems to be working as long as I can be consistant which is a major flaw in my personallity.

Here's an interesting paradigm: I wanted to go for a run by myself yesterday and my wife said "are you taking the dog" and I said "no". And she said "it's all about you, because you are on a health kick again. Little does she know it's because I'm staying busy in order to avoid the traps.

So, I think she thinks I'm being selfish since I haven't told her I'm fighting to stay clean.

So, I'm selfish when I drink (which I kept to myself) and now I'm selfish for getting healthy (which I am keeping to myself). Ugh!!..I sure am good at causing my own problems...eh

I will tell her when I reach 90 days...that has been my thought all along.

And a Big Hello to the new Oct-Sober additions!!......Cya later!

Avra

Good morning everyone. Havent been around the last little while, been super busy. I am on day 7 though!

Redviper

I haven't told my girlfriend I quit drinking. I think it's because I don't want to look like a failure to her. I am supposed to be the strong man in her life and it's embarrassing to say a liquid substance has made me weak. She has noticed I'm not drinking and just thinks I'm taking a break. Maybe she will see how good I feel and quit too. She doesn't drink like I use to. But I could always handle myself drunk so she never saw it as a negative. I could finish a 12 pack and start on bottle of wine and she could never tell I was wasted. I just can't tell her I quit without knowing if I will be successful.

Saskia

Neverthought, I think you are describing two different kinds of "selfish"! Staying sober may generically be selfish, but I consider it to be "self care" . You might as well get used to being called selfish by your wife if she doesn't know what you are doing. Whenever she says that, just try translating selfish to self care!

Obladi, my original name is not just a matter of linguistics. From the vantage point of my ancient years, I can tell you that only one person in the US has ever been able to pronounce my name (and he was German) and very few can figure out the gender - and that's only because they've met me. :-(. My name comes from a specific province and even "back home" I don't think it's all that common though it's certainly not unique.

Nice to see you here, too, Kitty!

Lilac, bummer about the lack of AA meetings where you are. Even if you can go a couple of times per week, that might help. Also, any possibility of finding a sponsor? Have you tried reading some of the books, such as Rational Recovery? Some months ago someone posted a list of good books to read on the May thread. There was one that a number of posters thought was really good. Are you doing anything about physical exercise? Yoga? Meditation?

Cheers
S

JimJim

Evening all, day nineteen drawing to a close. I had some urges to buy whiskey earlier, it's been a while since my last urges. I might go for a late night walk..

camelia

.

4Surf4Life

Two weeks this morning and feeling great! I'm happy with my progress so far, but know that there will be times that I will be tested in the future. The past 2 weeks have had some challenges, but were much easier than they could have been due to a couple of factors- 1) the first week I had a pretty bad cold so wanted to get better ASAP and 2) the second week there were really good waves from a typhoon coming towards Japan. I have been waking up at 5 and in bed around 10 every night, so booze hasn't really been a factor.

I know that reading posts in this thread and others on SR that boredom is a big danger, so I will have to be very diligent when the waves stop during winter and the days get shorter... I am planning to do some music recording and study for a Japanese proficiency test during the winter months to keep myself occupied.

Sending positive energy out to all members of the class of October 2012!

Dan Dare

You and I stopped the same day.
On September 27th I had a Vodka Tonic with my Dad while we were watching a Ball Game.

When I got home I just felt tired, bored, poisoned, sad, disillusioned.
19 days later, and a bunch of temptations, I'm still in the game.
It really does feel good.
Every now and then that urge comes knocking.
It goes away when it realizes you're not gonna break.
But it'll be back.
I sound like a freakin' loony.