Class of August 2012 Part 5
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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Class of August 2012 Part 5
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 297
Ooooo, a brand new thread. 
I got some sleep last night. Thank goodness. I am looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow.
I have a meeting at my sons school today. I used to drink quite a bit before and after the meetings. Hopefully this one will be smooth and won't be a big trigger for me. It's an informal meeting with his teachers so it shouldn't be too bad. I am not expecting any major news so I bet it will be just fine.
After the meeting I am having lunch with a friend. I am really looking forward to that. I'll check in later!
I got some sleep last night. Thank goodness. I am looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow.
I have a meeting at my sons school today. I used to drink quite a bit before and after the meetings. Hopefully this one will be smooth and won't be a big trigger for me. It's an informal meeting with his teachers so it shouldn't be too bad. I am not expecting any major news so I bet it will be just fine.
After the meeting I am having lunch with a friend. I am really looking forward to that. I'll check in later!
One Foot in Front of the Other
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 582
Panacea...glad to connect with you again. I really don't mean to play favorites hehehehe! Your pm was part of what helped me steer back around and get me back on here as well, so thank you a million times over!
Beginning of Day 2 for me here. I did a few of important things yesterday. One, I had my outpatient session last night and was completely and brutally honest with my counselor about what had happened. We went over the timeline of the relapse and it's easy to see that its origins were in the way I've been completely running myself into the ground over the past few weeks, especially as I neared 30 days. Balance is so important, and I willingly tossed aside the balance I was trying to create to go back to my old way of doing things.
Two, I picked up a sponsor. You might remember me talking about him as the alcoholic/addict friend who I went to hear speak several weeks ago. He was only too eager to help, and as I've said before, I want what he and his wife have for myself and my wife. So I haven't even hit my first meeting yet (happening today at noon), and I have sponsorship. Yay!
Third, based on what I learned yesterday in outpatient I was able to have a deeper and more apologetic and accepting conversation with my wife about our argument. This helped my mental state and the state of our relationship greatly.
My first meeting is today, as I mentioned. Well, not my first, but my first on this go-around. I plan to hit meetings today, tomorrow, and Sunday, take Monday off and check in with my sponsor. I am really raring to get to work learning more about the program and navigating my way through the steps.
Much love to you all...have a happy, safe, and sober day! Be well!
Beginning of Day 2 for me here. I did a few of important things yesterday. One, I had my outpatient session last night and was completely and brutally honest with my counselor about what had happened. We went over the timeline of the relapse and it's easy to see that its origins were in the way I've been completely running myself into the ground over the past few weeks, especially as I neared 30 days. Balance is so important, and I willingly tossed aside the balance I was trying to create to go back to my old way of doing things.
Two, I picked up a sponsor. You might remember me talking about him as the alcoholic/addict friend who I went to hear speak several weeks ago. He was only too eager to help, and as I've said before, I want what he and his wife have for myself and my wife. So I haven't even hit my first meeting yet (happening today at noon), and I have sponsorship. Yay!
Third, based on what I learned yesterday in outpatient I was able to have a deeper and more apologetic and accepting conversation with my wife about our argument. This helped my mental state and the state of our relationship greatly.
My first meeting is today, as I mentioned. Well, not my first, but my first on this go-around. I plan to hit meetings today, tomorrow, and Sunday, take Monday off and check in with my sponsor. I am really raring to get to work learning more about the program and navigating my way through the steps.
Much love to you all...have a happy, safe, and sober day! Be well!
One Foot in Front of the Other
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 582
Also...to Grace, Panacea, and ebshot...I now have lessons 11 through 20 (of 30) for my outpatient treatment. I still have all of your email addresses, so please let me know if you want me to share them with you, as I did the first 10 lessons.
Be well!
Be well!
...not falling down them
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,200
Good to see you WTH, everyone.
A beautiful Friday. I am engrossed in another series , this one is called "Life" and it's about a zen cop.
Some stuff to do around the house, grocery store then a meeting later.
A beautiful Friday. I am engrossed in another series , this one is called "Life" and it's about a zen cop.
Some stuff to do around the house, grocery store then a meeting later.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Dudley,Uk
Posts: 1,704
Three quarters through Day 48 and so far so good...Gym session was cancelled today which I wasn't happy about as I can't get to the gym now till Monday...I may have a big trigger later...My friend and his wife and kids are coming to visit,we haven't seen them for two years and me and him were great drinking buddies,we would get through a good 20 beers a night each.....I have told him I have quit but I don't know how serious he thinks I am...Guess I'll find out soon as they should be here within the half hour...Anyhows,I'll be back later to update....Take care....Steve....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Notheast US
Posts: 524
Beautiful day here in New England...it feels like what we call Indian Summer, but we have not had the first frost yet.
It looks like I have managed to get rid of the "browser hijacker" that infected my computer, along with some other trojans. Now I'll just have to keep an eye on things.
WTH- sounds like you are involved in a very structured and comprehensive rehab program with well qualified counselors. I'm impressed with what I'm hearing from you about it...sounds pretty intensive.
Our buddy WWG slipped the other day after making it to 10 whole days and has not been online today. I had mentioned musing over attitudes towards relapse a while back, but was truly thinking about slips. Here's a piece that I found which I think is pretty good...WTH, your take on this is both welcome and valued.
Hope everybody has a great day!
Managing and Recovering from Slips by Linda L. Simmons, Psy.D.
Slips are a prelude to relapse. A slip is that one drink, that one piece of chocolate, or that one peek at pornography. It's a one-time mistake. Relapse is a falling away from the pattern of recovery. It is taking one slip and multiplying it into many that last days, weeks, months, or years. Relapse, simply put, is turning back to one's addiction and, once again, embracing the addictive lifestyle.
The way a person manages a slip, the way she thinks about a slip, may well determine whether the slip stays a mistake or whether it progresses to relapse. The recovering addict must guard his thoughts carefully when it comes to a slip. He must remind himself that the thought of a slip is only a close call, an actual slip is only a mistake. Allowing this to go further and thinking of oneself as a failure because of a slip is to head full-speed toward relapse.
If the recovering addict can think of a slip as a learning experience rather than a failure, recovery will be strengthened. It is unrealistic to believe that every addict who commits to recovery will instantly live a perfect recovery life, and never give a thought to her previous addiction. Appropriately handling slips, or mistakes, can help one mature, grow, and move forward. These are a few suggestions for how to manage slips:
Recognize that simply because one mistake has occurred, it doesn't have to be followed by many more.
Don't give in to despair, thinking that because a slip has occurred, failure is unavoidable.
Get immediate help and support. Have a list of supporters with their phone numbers handy and make a call for help without delay.
Leave the area of the slip. Get to safer ground as soon as possible.
If the slip happened at home, have a trustworthy person clear the area of any addictive material or paraphernalia before returning.
Analyze the circumstances surrounding the slip. See what can be learned, so that preparations can be made to avoid the slip in the future.
Consider ways to strengthen one's recovery. Go to more support meetings for awhile, read an inspirational book related to recovery, go to a weekend retreat designed for recovering addicts, or grow by giving to others.
It is critical for the recovering addict to recognize that when the slip is over, it's over. A recovering lifestyle begins again immediately. The second the beer bottle is put down, the cigarette is stomped out, the computer is turned off, recovery begins anew. It can begin with new insights, new awareness, and new appreciation for the hard work that recovery requires.
It looks like I have managed to get rid of the "browser hijacker" that infected my computer, along with some other trojans. Now I'll just have to keep an eye on things.
WTH- sounds like you are involved in a very structured and comprehensive rehab program with well qualified counselors. I'm impressed with what I'm hearing from you about it...sounds pretty intensive.
Our buddy WWG slipped the other day after making it to 10 whole days and has not been online today. I had mentioned musing over attitudes towards relapse a while back, but was truly thinking about slips. Here's a piece that I found which I think is pretty good...WTH, your take on this is both welcome and valued.
Hope everybody has a great day!
Managing and Recovering from Slips by Linda L. Simmons, Psy.D.
Slips are a prelude to relapse. A slip is that one drink, that one piece of chocolate, or that one peek at pornography. It's a one-time mistake. Relapse is a falling away from the pattern of recovery. It is taking one slip and multiplying it into many that last days, weeks, months, or years. Relapse, simply put, is turning back to one's addiction and, once again, embracing the addictive lifestyle.
The way a person manages a slip, the way she thinks about a slip, may well determine whether the slip stays a mistake or whether it progresses to relapse. The recovering addict must guard his thoughts carefully when it comes to a slip. He must remind himself that the thought of a slip is only a close call, an actual slip is only a mistake. Allowing this to go further and thinking of oneself as a failure because of a slip is to head full-speed toward relapse.
If the recovering addict can think of a slip as a learning experience rather than a failure, recovery will be strengthened. It is unrealistic to believe that every addict who commits to recovery will instantly live a perfect recovery life, and never give a thought to her previous addiction. Appropriately handling slips, or mistakes, can help one mature, grow, and move forward. These are a few suggestions for how to manage slips:
Recognize that simply because one mistake has occurred, it doesn't have to be followed by many more.
Don't give in to despair, thinking that because a slip has occurred, failure is unavoidable.
Get immediate help and support. Have a list of supporters with their phone numbers handy and make a call for help without delay.
Leave the area of the slip. Get to safer ground as soon as possible.
If the slip happened at home, have a trustworthy person clear the area of any addictive material or paraphernalia before returning.
Analyze the circumstances surrounding the slip. See what can be learned, so that preparations can be made to avoid the slip in the future.
Consider ways to strengthen one's recovery. Go to more support meetings for awhile, read an inspirational book related to recovery, go to a weekend retreat designed for recovering addicts, or grow by giving to others.
It is critical for the recovering addict to recognize that when the slip is over, it's over. A recovering lifestyle begins again immediately. The second the beer bottle is put down, the cigarette is stomped out, the computer is turned off, recovery begins anew. It can begin with new insights, new awareness, and new appreciation for the hard work that recovery requires.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 579
Originally Posted by stevie88 
.I may have a big trigger later...My friend and his wife and kids are coming to visit,we haven't seen them for two years and me and him were great drinking buddies,we would get through a good 20 beers a night each.....I have told him I have quit but I don't know how serious he thinks I am...Guess I'll find out soon as they should be here within the half hour...Anyhows,I'll be back later to update....Take care....Steve....
Stay strong, Stevie--we know you can do it. Think about how much better you feel and how much better your life is now you're sober. If he's a true friend, he'll understand. XO
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Cheshire, N.W England
Posts: 6,803
Good evening all
It's been a mad, hectic day like I knew it would be. I'm so tired, catch up time I think from the other night.
My step g.daughter is at the hospital, her mum phoned the Doctor this morning to make an emergency appt to see about getting some councilling for her and he told her because the wait list is so long, it would be better to take her to A&E because they could arrange for someone to see her today!! She has been there since about 11.00 and it is now 22.15 and she is still waiting. They told her mum a short while ago that no one will be able to see her tonight as they are too busy, but as she is only 14 and her mum took her in, they can't let her go home until she has been seen,so it's going to be an overnighter! Nothing ever goes smoothly.
Other than that I'm fine, the cherub-pests have been complete pests, but they went home a good while ago and the little one is fast asleep. Peace at last!
Erica, I'm glad you got a good sleep at last. How did the meeting at school go? Bet is was fine and I bet you were all the better for being sober. And you've also been 'ladies that lunch' with your friend, what a nice treat.
Hi WTH, I'm pleased to hear that you were totally honest with your councillor and that you can see that you began to let your work commitments take over your life again. You have to remember to be kind to yourself, take some WTH time out every day, even if it's only 30 minutes. Remember you work to live, not live to work!
I'm glad you got yourself a sponsor, I do remember you telling us about the meeting you went to with your wife when he was sharing. It was a very moving post. I think he will be ideal, plus you know each other, so he will already be aware of your strenghs and weaknesses. I'm also pleased that you've built some bridges with your wife. I can so appreciate that!
I hope you enjoyed your meeting today and oh yes please, I would be very grateful for parts 11 to 20 of your outpatients lessons. Thank you. xx
****
Hi Jodie, hope you're having a good time. You managed to get a cup of tea then? Hope you slept well.
***
Hi Stairs, sounds like you had a fairly good day with your new series and your domestic chores.
***
Oh Steve, I am hoping and relying on you to be strong tonight. I know you can do it. Like Nuway said, if he's a true friend he will understand and encourage you. I have my fingers crossed.
*******
Hi Slim, you are luck having an Indian summer, it's blooming cold here, not rained today, but a really cold wind is blowing.
I do so hope that you have managed to clear your computer of all the infected rubbish, it's such a time consuming nuisance to have to do that!
I have to be honest and say I'm not surprised to hear that WWG slipped, I have been following him and he was saying on Wed that he really wanted to drink and had to pass the liquor store on the way home! l was hoping he would go home via a different route! It's been difficult for him and he did so well to get to day 10. He'll get there eventually! I hope you will pass that piece to him, he may find it very useful, I have! I know he was going to a concert on Thursday and to his parents for the week end, so he probably hasn't been able to post. He'll be back.
******
Hello Nuway, I hope all is well with you.
That's it for now I think.
Night night, stay safe and sober.
Gxx
It's been a mad, hectic day like I knew it would be. I'm so tired, catch up time I think from the other night.
My step g.daughter is at the hospital, her mum phoned the Doctor this morning to make an emergency appt to see about getting some councilling for her and he told her because the wait list is so long, it would be better to take her to A&E because they could arrange for someone to see her today!! She has been there since about 11.00 and it is now 22.15 and she is still waiting. They told her mum a short while ago that no one will be able to see her tonight as they are too busy, but as she is only 14 and her mum took her in, they can't let her go home until she has been seen,so it's going to be an overnighter! Nothing ever goes smoothly.
Other than that I'm fine, the cherub-pests have been complete pests, but they went home a good while ago and the little one is fast asleep. Peace at last!
Erica, I'm glad you got a good sleep at last. How did the meeting at school go? Bet is was fine and I bet you were all the better for being sober. And you've also been 'ladies that lunch' with your friend, what a nice treat.
Hi WTH, I'm pleased to hear that you were totally honest with your councillor and that you can see that you began to let your work commitments take over your life again. You have to remember to be kind to yourself, take some WTH time out every day, even if it's only 30 minutes. Remember you work to live, not live to work!
I'm glad you got yourself a sponsor, I do remember you telling us about the meeting you went to with your wife when he was sharing. It was a very moving post. I think he will be ideal, plus you know each other, so he will already be aware of your strenghs and weaknesses. I'm also pleased that you've built some bridges with your wife. I can so appreciate that!
I hope you enjoyed your meeting today and oh yes please, I would be very grateful for parts 11 to 20 of your outpatients lessons. Thank you. xx
****
Hi Jodie, hope you're having a good time. You managed to get a cup of tea then? Hope you slept well.
***
Hi Stairs, sounds like you had a fairly good day with your new series and your domestic chores.
***
Oh Steve, I am hoping and relying on you to be strong tonight. I know you can do it. Like Nuway said, if he's a true friend he will understand and encourage you. I have my fingers crossed.
*******
Hi Slim, you are luck having an Indian summer, it's blooming cold here, not rained today, but a really cold wind is blowing.
I do so hope that you have managed to clear your computer of all the infected rubbish, it's such a time consuming nuisance to have to do that!
I have to be honest and say I'm not surprised to hear that WWG slipped, I have been following him and he was saying on Wed that he really wanted to drink and had to pass the liquor store on the way home! l was hoping he would go home via a different route! It's been difficult for him and he did so well to get to day 10. He'll get there eventually! I hope you will pass that piece to him, he may find it very useful, I have! I know he was going to a concert on Thursday and to his parents for the week end, so he probably hasn't been able to post. He'll be back.
******
Hello Nuway, I hope all is well with you.
That's it for now I think.
Night night, stay safe and sober.
Gxx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Dudley,Uk
Posts: 1,704
All good here guys...Just off to bed....SOBER...Just gotta get through tomorrow as they are staying over for a couple of days....Easier than I thought it would be....Catch you all in the morning...Take care....Steve...
steve 
One Foot in Front of the Other
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 582
Originally Posted by SlimSlim
WTH, your take on this is both welcome and valued.
Managing and Recovering from Slips by Linda L. Simmons, Psy.D.
Slips are a prelude to relapse. A slip is that one drink, that one piece of chocolate, or that one peek at pornography. It's a one-time mistake. Relapse is a falling away from the pattern of recovery. It is taking one slip and multiplying it into many that last days, weeks, months, or years. Relapse, simply put, is turning back to one's addiction and, once again, embracing the addictive lifestyle.
The way a person manages a slip, the way she thinks about a slip, may well determine whether the slip stays a mistake or whether it progresses to relapse. The recovering addict must guard his thoughts carefully when it comes to a slip. He must remind himself that the thought of a slip is only a close call, an actual slip is only a mistake. Allowing this to go further and thinking of oneself as a failure because of a slip is to head full-speed toward relapse.
If the recovering addict can think of a slip as a learning experience rather than a failure, recovery will be strengthened. It is unrealistic to believe that every addict who commits to recovery will instantly live a perfect recovery life, and never give a thought to her previous addiction. Appropriately handling slips, or mistakes, can help one mature, grow, and move forward. These are a few suggestions for how to manage slips:
Recognize that simply because one mistake has occurred, it doesn't have to be followed by many more.
Don't give in to despair, thinking that because a slip has occurred, failure is unavoidable.
Get immediate help and support. Have a list of supporters with their phone numbers handy and make a call for help without delay.
Leave the area of the slip. Get to safer ground as soon as possible.
If the slip happened at home, have a trustworthy person clear the area of any addictive material or paraphernalia before returning.
Analyze the circumstances surrounding the slip. See what can be learned, so that preparations can be made to avoid the slip in the future.
Consider ways to strengthen one's recovery. Go to more support meetings for awhile, read an inspirational book related to recovery, go to a weekend retreat designed for recovering addicts, or grow by giving to others.
It is critical for the recovering addict to recognize that when the slip is over, it's over. A recovering lifestyle begins again immediately. The second the beer bottle is put down, the cigarette is stomped out, the computer is turned off, recovery begins anew. It can begin with new insights, new awareness, and new appreciation for the hard work that recovery requires.
Managing and Recovering from Slips by Linda L. Simmons, Psy.D.
Slips are a prelude to relapse. A slip is that one drink, that one piece of chocolate, or that one peek at pornography. It's a one-time mistake. Relapse is a falling away from the pattern of recovery. It is taking one slip and multiplying it into many that last days, weeks, months, or years. Relapse, simply put, is turning back to one's addiction and, once again, embracing the addictive lifestyle.
The way a person manages a slip, the way she thinks about a slip, may well determine whether the slip stays a mistake or whether it progresses to relapse. The recovering addict must guard his thoughts carefully when it comes to a slip. He must remind himself that the thought of a slip is only a close call, an actual slip is only a mistake. Allowing this to go further and thinking of oneself as a failure because of a slip is to head full-speed toward relapse.
If the recovering addict can think of a slip as a learning experience rather than a failure, recovery will be strengthened. It is unrealistic to believe that every addict who commits to recovery will instantly live a perfect recovery life, and never give a thought to her previous addiction. Appropriately handling slips, or mistakes, can help one mature, grow, and move forward. These are a few suggestions for how to manage slips:
Recognize that simply because one mistake has occurred, it doesn't have to be followed by many more.
Don't give in to despair, thinking that because a slip has occurred, failure is unavoidable.
Get immediate help and support. Have a list of supporters with their phone numbers handy and make a call for help without delay.
Leave the area of the slip. Get to safer ground as soon as possible.
If the slip happened at home, have a trustworthy person clear the area of any addictive material or paraphernalia before returning.
Analyze the circumstances surrounding the slip. See what can be learned, so that preparations can be made to avoid the slip in the future.
Consider ways to strengthen one's recovery. Go to more support meetings for awhile, read an inspirational book related to recovery, go to a weekend retreat designed for recovering addicts, or grow by giving to others.
It is critical for the recovering addict to recognize that when the slip is over, it's over. A recovering lifestyle begins again immediately. The second the beer bottle is put down, the cigarette is stomped out, the computer is turned off, recovery begins anew. It can begin with new insights, new awareness, and new appreciation for the hard work that recovery requires.
My outpatient counselor and I talked about many of the points raised in this very selection. First and foremost was to use the return to drinking as a learning experience, a lesson. Somewhat secondary was to re-strengthen the recovery effort.
Again, thanks for posting! This was much more eloquently stated than anything I could have written!
One Foot in Front of the Other
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 582
Well, went to my first meeting today over the lunch hour. It was a good experience. The group calls itself "Serenity at Noon" and is held at a dedicated AA/NA space in my town.
The meeting is dedicated to Step discussion, which I found to be helpful to me. Was able to introduce myself as a newcomer, and, since there were a few of us there (all very warmly welcomed, by the way), the group decided to discuss Step 1. I got to read from the 12 and 12, but did not get to speak later in the meeting. It was pretty well attended so everyone got to read from the book or discuss what Step 1 meant to them, but not both.
My sponsor told me to look for the similarities and not the differences, and so I tried to do that when listening to the discussion. Actually it was not all that hard to do, as the similarities were many and the differences seemed mostly superficial like age, gender, height, etc. I guess I was most struck by a few things: 1) the number of people whose "bottom" seemed similar to mine...not having lost everything but right around the corner from it and very hurting in a spiritual/emotional sense, 2) how we all tried to put a nice facade on what we were doing, and thought we were so slick and getting away with it too, and 3) how we often times seem to be the last person to recognize that we have a problem.
Tomorrow it's off to the noontime "Keeping it Green" group and Sunday I will attend the "Sober Sundays" group on the the local college campus. "Serenity at Noon" meets Monday through Friday and I think I may make that one a keeper. It really seems to be a good group of people.
On a semi-related note, I could not be more pleased with my sponsor's responsiveness to me so far. We have been in contact several times per day and it's really helpful. Anyway, that's my experience with my first meeting.
The meeting is dedicated to Step discussion, which I found to be helpful to me. Was able to introduce myself as a newcomer, and, since there were a few of us there (all very warmly welcomed, by the way), the group decided to discuss Step 1. I got to read from the 12 and 12, but did not get to speak later in the meeting. It was pretty well attended so everyone got to read from the book or discuss what Step 1 meant to them, but not both.
My sponsor told me to look for the similarities and not the differences, and so I tried to do that when listening to the discussion. Actually it was not all that hard to do, as the similarities were many and the differences seemed mostly superficial like age, gender, height, etc. I guess I was most struck by a few things: 1) the number of people whose "bottom" seemed similar to mine...not having lost everything but right around the corner from it and very hurting in a spiritual/emotional sense, 2) how we all tried to put a nice facade on what we were doing, and thought we were so slick and getting away with it too, and 3) how we often times seem to be the last person to recognize that we have a problem.
Tomorrow it's off to the noontime "Keeping it Green" group and Sunday I will attend the "Sober Sundays" group on the the local college campus. "Serenity at Noon" meets Monday through Friday and I think I may make that one a keeper. It really seems to be a good group of people.
On a semi-related note, I could not be more pleased with my sponsor's responsiveness to me so far. We have been in contact several times per day and it's really helpful. Anyway, that's my experience with my first meeting.
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