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Class Of October 2011 pt 7

Old 11-03-2012, 02:13 PM
  # 81 (permalink)  
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How did I somehow know we'd meet up on your 1000th post Gerb? lol---I'm kidding you. I think you know I really appreciate you and all of your posts.

You know, I really understand your post above. I never honestly gave much thought to the term "recovering alcoholic" myself and just applied the label as it seemed a required item like a name tag of sorts in AA. But what you say makes alot of sense comparing "recovery" to an injury which one gets over in the short term. I certainly don't want to walk around with a limp for the rest of my life. Yet at the same time I kind of need the reminder Dee just "talked" about.

I also agree with you about just walking past the liquor aisle in the market without any association to past alcoholism. I have alot of exaggerated fear factors and red flags in my life Gerb that aren't particularly skewed in coordination with whats going on. They don't just just pertain to alcohol, its part of the symptomology (is that a word??) of GAD. I look forward to the day when I'm more appropriately skewed ha.

But I'm glad you see my life isn't destroyed, awful or in misery as a result. Its just some crappy symptoms I have to learn to get over and get past. The nice thing is I can address all of that now that the alcohol is gone. It would have been an impossiblity prior. Life is very good Gerb thanks. Hope all things are going great with you as well. It is really good to "see" you here. Its a beautiful weekend in L.A. after the blast furnace inferno of a summer we had here. I think tomorrow is looking good for a hike in the Angeles Forest.

Have a good one all.
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Old 11-03-2012, 03:39 PM
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We all have crappy days philb, I have a lot of them myself, but I don't forget that I'm alive and breathing though. Usually the next day I'm in better spirits and ready to get the day started.

but for me it's important I remember I'm an alcoholic - cos, lets be honest, I forgot a lot of times....
I understand what you're saying and see your point. I feel, in my opinion, that the past is the past and it's behind me. I don't technically "forget" that I do not drink, but I've accepted that I do not drink alcohol. I don't see myself in a position for relapse, others might, but I don't. The passion for it is completely gone and without passion, I have absolutely no desire. The only time I ever think about my past alcoholism is when someone directly brings up the subject to me. Maybe that's good, maybe that's bad, but I maybe told 2-3 people in real life within the past year, about me not drinking. Today I had to mention it to my coordinator when I was telling her about egg nog because she asked if I added rum to mine.. lol.

to me accepting the label keeps it real...to not acknowledge the past means I may indeed become blase, over confident, and forget about it....I've done it before
I don't agree with labels because we label everything as society. We hand-out labels like candy -- "Oh, that guy is wearing tight pants, he must be gay!" -- I do completely understand your version of your own label though. Labeling yourself is different than labeling someone else, either one I always disagree with though, maybe I'm being rebellious lol. Acknowledging the past in certain cases, if it's helpful, can help someone, or it can hurt them. Having confidence in your own sobriety is one of the strongest points to keep moving forward, but as you said, over-confidence can hurt. I have confidence in my sobriety, but I know the line when I'm getting *too* confident about it. You don't have to forget about why you are sober, but I feel focusing on the subject with an in-depth precision analysis is harmful.

I'm really glad for you though Dee, you have over 5 years of sobriety and you're here on earth to tell about it. Just note that I'm not fully disagreeing with your post, I'm just trying to wedge what I believe into what you said - no harm meant. There are mornings that I can wake up and bounce right out of bed and to remember when it took me 10 minutes to drag myself out of bed is helpful at starting some days.

I'm thankful and proud of my sobriety, but it's nearly impossible to put into words on what my views are about it and how I'm feeling, so I just try to sum it up the best I can.
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Old 11-03-2012, 03:47 PM
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yeah, I'm not trying to prescribe or dictate what others should do at all - just explaining how I see things

I think my way is valid for me and I think your way is perfectly valid too - and it wouldn't matter if they weren't anyway, if they still worked for us and kept us sober

We're all different and our paths are different too - there's no one right answer I don't think

have a good weekend everyone
D
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Old 11-03-2012, 05:28 PM
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I think we can conclude that Gerbosko should probably streak naked at the vacation resort of philb's choice when he decides where he's going. .

there's no one right answer I don't think
Agree.
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Old 11-03-2012, 06:51 PM
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-----And to think it was only just moments before I logged on that I was beginning to look forward to our next years getaway lol. Its good to see you Gerb.
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Old 11-05-2012, 07:46 AM
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Hi All,

Today is 100 days sober for me! That is a milestone in my life. I have NEVER reached triple digits before. I am very fearful of relapse because I don't ever want to go there again. I can see Gerb's point - I guess for long time drinkers it is a balancing act. I also know for me that it is still very early and I feel very vulnerable and very raw. I am very grateful to be sober today and have the support of my wonderful friends
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Old 11-05-2012, 11:46 AM
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Congratulations Tanja! I'm really happy for you and continue to wish you all the best in sobriety!
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Old 11-05-2012, 11:55 AM
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congratultions Tanja

D
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Old 12-04-2012, 10:03 PM
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Yikes, almost a month since my last login.

So.. Phil... Where are you going on vacation? .

Don't ask me why I wanna know...
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Old 12-06-2012, 09:38 AM
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Congrats Tanja with the 100 days!

Besides a severe case of the winter blues, I am doing ok. How is everyone else doing?
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Old 12-07-2012, 11:49 AM
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Hi Geralt,

I've missed you! I'm sorry to hear you have the winter blues. Today is pretty rainy and somewhat gloomy, but we haven't really been hit with cold weather here yet. Are you still working the same job? How are things going with you?

I will have 5 months of sobriety on the 25th of December! Two reasons to celebrate I am still having the anxiety issues with driving and that can be depressing and frustrating to me. But, the first and most important thing I need to focus in on is my sobriety. I did manage to drive last night to my service positition at an AA meeting. I am hoping to drive to another meeting tonight.

Hope you have a great week-end!
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Old 12-07-2012, 01:27 PM
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Wow, 5 months tanja, and I was still congratulating with 100 days Great to see you making so much progress. Double Christmas gifts

Everything is still the same for me, slowly moving on. Plowed in the snow for 4 hours delivering mail today. But I was laughing like a little child, I just always loved the snow and especially cycling in deep, slippery snow/ice is so fun. This picture is when I started my shift, it kept snowing like that almost till the end:



I just have to accept that I will have bad days, even whole bad weeks, despite not drinking. Quitting was the best thing I ever did, but I expected too much and too soon. The progress is there, but it's slow - one year without booze is not that much compared to 14 years of drinking. Lol actually quite stupid that I didn't realize that from the beginning.

Off to bed I am really tired, cycling in this snow is extremely tough and I had to walk some parts. Just slipped once but managed to recover with a half roll

Thanks for sharing everyone, I really like reading your posts guys.
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Old 12-08-2012, 05:34 AM
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Geralt,

What a great picture. The snow looks so beautiful. That is amazing that you cycle in the snow! You have got to be in great shape.

Your realization that you will have bad days and even whole bad weeks has helped me. I think we all expect "too much too soon". I think that is part of human nature - not just alcoholics. I do the same thing. I expected to physically feel a lot better. I can get depressed and frustrated with the insomnia and the inability to drive. But, the point is that I have driven and as you said "slow progress". I also have "fuzzy brain" syndrome; I misspell words, cannot remember things the way I used to and wonder if I am developing alzheimers disease like my mother. They say you can suffer from a fuzzy brain for up to a year of sobriety - so I try and not sweat about it.

I am so happy that you have over a year of sobriety. I am so glad that you quit drinking after 14 years and saved yourself years of further misery. I drank for 33 years. I can feel a lot of shame about it. I try to focus on the here and now and just be grateful that I have stopped. My husband continues to drink, but he is supportive and trys to keep it away from me. What a horrible way to live or rather not live.

I hope you have a wonderful day!
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Old 12-13-2012, 07:34 PM
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I haven't been on the site for some time until just today. Its really nice to see some posts. Well Gerb...we've finally decided on our vacation. We'll be at the peak of Mount Everest in January...see you there! :-). Hope you have a great holiday season Gerb. Geralt, that is truly a cool photo. Thank you for posting it. I think I would enjoy it like you, its something we never get to see in Southern California. Congratulations on your amazing progress. I remember your saying you were going to try and tackle the benzos in 2013. I'm going to do the same thing. Honestly, I didn't think I would be able to even though I'm using them only as prescribed. My goal is to be off them totally by the end of March. I think its doable. My anxiety is more and more handled which is an amazing thing for me. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy really works (if you're sober :-) ) More and more things keep opening up in sobriety. Its incredible. I think I get this notion of a second life Dee that you and General were talking about. I'm in. Tanja, you already know how incredibly happy I am for you. Christmas really will be a double blessing. My thoughts are with you. You've always provided such great insight here in the sobertobers and I have always looked forward to reading your great posts. General, if you're out there, I hope all is well and I truly wish all of the sobertobers a blessed holiday season and may everyone's wishes and dreams manifest in 2013. See you in Tibet in January Gerb :-).
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Old 12-13-2012, 08:27 PM
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Wave to me from the top of Mt. E Phil

D
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Old 12-20-2012, 06:27 AM
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Phil, Gerbosko, Geralt, Sadsoul, General, Miela,

Hope everyone is doing well. Wishing everyone a very serene Christmas! The 26th will mark 5 months of sobriety for me. I am so very grateful. It's hard for me to believe that a half a year of sobriety is on the horizon. It truly is a miracle and I am so appreciative of all of the love and support that I received from my classmates.
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Old 12-20-2012, 09:59 AM
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I forgot to mention one of the most cherished members of our group -Dee! Without his support I wouldn't have made it thus far.

Dee - I hope your Christmas is awesome!
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Old 12-20-2012, 11:43 AM
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How's it going everyone? Coming up for our second sober Christmas - definitely feel better equipped for this one. Hope all's well. Everyone OK?
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Old 12-23-2012, 09:18 AM
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Happy Christmas everyone---or whatever anyone in our group celebrates--this truly is a time of year to count our blessings and to, finally (!!), look forward to a happy and peaceful future. Congratulations Tanja, and great to see you General.
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Old 12-23-2012, 11:43 AM
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Merry Christmas Phil, Tanja General, Geralt, Gerb...and to all the members who haven't posted on this page

have a great festive season and a wonderful New Year

D
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