Class Of October 2011 pt 7
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 601
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
General - I LOVE that video! What a wonderful way to start my morning
I just love track and field. Thank you so much for the inspiration.
Phil - My husband tells me I have had sleeping difficulties since I met him. So that is about a decade. It has gotten progressively worse with menopause. My twin sister also suffers from insomnia. I have gotten a non-addictive sleep aid from my doctor. I am not a fan of taking sleep aids, but at this point I need the rest to protect my sobriety. I actually got a five hour chunk of sleep last night. I don't think I have gotten that in about a year. That still is not nearly enough sleep for me. I know cortisol (the stress hormone) is highest in the a.m. and also heightened by lack of sleep. I am very fortunate that I am retired and I have the luxury of taking a nap. It is disappointing to me that I can seldom go out and do anything in the a.m. because of the insomnia. But, I tell myself that the way I feel at 3 months sober is in no way the way I am going to feel after even 6 months, 9 months or a year. I have faith and hope it will get better and I will slowly get back to the person I used to be.
Wishing everyone a very serene and happy thursday
I just love track and field. Thank you so much for the inspiration.Phil - My husband tells me I have had sleeping difficulties since I met him. So that is about a decade. It has gotten progressively worse with menopause. My twin sister also suffers from insomnia. I have gotten a non-addictive sleep aid from my doctor. I am not a fan of taking sleep aids, but at this point I need the rest to protect my sobriety. I actually got a five hour chunk of sleep last night. I don't think I have gotten that in about a year. That still is not nearly enough sleep for me. I know cortisol (the stress hormone) is highest in the a.m. and also heightened by lack of sleep. I am very fortunate that I am retired and I have the luxury of taking a nap. It is disappointing to me that I can seldom go out and do anything in the a.m. because of the insomnia. But, I tell myself that the way I feel at 3 months sober is in no way the way I am going to feel after even 6 months, 9 months or a year. I have faith and hope it will get better and I will slowly get back to the person I used to be.
Wishing everyone a very serene and happy thursday
Bound and Determined
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 203
General--The video you posted was just the thing I needed to see this morning. Thanks for placing it in the forum. I think up 'til now I've felt very much like the guy who won except for one critical aspect which is the point of the video. When surpassed, or overwhelmed, I have tended to throw up my arms and go to the sidelines (or previously a bottle). I've got to stay in the race and as stated never give up. A lingering habit I really need to rid myself of is giving up too readily.
I intend to read up on Phil Maffetone this evening and thanks for posting his name. I actually went online just a bit ago and ordered a heart rate monitor its by Mio Motiva for a reasonable $40.00 and got good reviews by those who purchased it so I'll look forward to receiving it and utilizing it as you have recommended General...no Dee I don't work for Mio Motiva on commission and am doing a sales pitch attempting to sell them in the forum :-). I think in reading your post General I may have been actually sabotaging myself in my cardio exercise where I have been doing cardio in "bursts" which likely pushed my heart rate above the ideal. I'm going to try this method in earnest you've posted as I do know how well cardio can work.
Tanja I know all too well how insomnia can throw us off kilter I've actually had it all my life since adolescence. It is another factor that I allowed to cause me to drink attempting to get sleep. My Dr. also prescribed a non addictive sleep aid which is in the anti-depressant family and I've taken them only a couple of times. The reasoning for not liking them is they do indeed allow me sleep when I'm really deprived of it. However in the morning I wake up with a true "hangover" not of the eyesplitting headache variety but sort of a dingy dopey feeling that stays with me the entire next day.
I, as you stated Tanja, also look forward to returing to a form of "myself" the problem being I was alcoholic for so many decades i don't know still who that is :-) I'm a late bloomer in the second life building phase. Thus although I was joking when I said "General and Dee what are you talking about we have to actually build a life??" there was some truth behind it. I think I have taken a bit longer (nearly this entire year) to regain some form of balance. I think like General said the physiological aspect took likely four months for me but the psychological life building "this is forever" phase has just really hit me of late. Yet again though thanks for the video as I think I will find a tatoo shop at lunch and have "never give up" permanently inked into the palm of my hand :-).
Have a great day everybody.
I intend to read up on Phil Maffetone this evening and thanks for posting his name. I actually went online just a bit ago and ordered a heart rate monitor its by Mio Motiva for a reasonable $40.00 and got good reviews by those who purchased it so I'll look forward to receiving it and utilizing it as you have recommended General...no Dee I don't work for Mio Motiva on commission and am doing a sales pitch attempting to sell them in the forum :-). I think in reading your post General I may have been actually sabotaging myself in my cardio exercise where I have been doing cardio in "bursts" which likely pushed my heart rate above the ideal. I'm going to try this method in earnest you've posted as I do know how well cardio can work.
Tanja I know all too well how insomnia can throw us off kilter I've actually had it all my life since adolescence. It is another factor that I allowed to cause me to drink attempting to get sleep. My Dr. also prescribed a non addictive sleep aid which is in the anti-depressant family and I've taken them only a couple of times. The reasoning for not liking them is they do indeed allow me sleep when I'm really deprived of it. However in the morning I wake up with a true "hangover" not of the eyesplitting headache variety but sort of a dingy dopey feeling that stays with me the entire next day.
I, as you stated Tanja, also look forward to returing to a form of "myself" the problem being I was alcoholic for so many decades i don't know still who that is :-) I'm a late bloomer in the second life building phase. Thus although I was joking when I said "General and Dee what are you talking about we have to actually build a life??" there was some truth behind it. I think I have taken a bit longer (nearly this entire year) to regain some form of balance. I think like General said the physiological aspect took likely four months for me but the psychological life building "this is forever" phase has just really hit me of late. Yet again though thanks for the video as I think I will find a tatoo shop at lunch and have "never give up" permanently inked into the palm of my hand :-).
Have a great day everybody.
Bound and Determined
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 203
7 ! I've never posted an emoticon I've been saving them for this day that I have always KNOWN would come for you! Congratulations Tanja!....I'm really happy for you. 90 days from what I read is a true milestone towards longterm recovery. You truely rock. Have a wonderful day and celebration!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Thank you so much Phil! You made my day. You have many times in the past.
Thank you so much General! I feel a mixture of pride and fear. This is it and I am scared. But, for today I sm happy
Thank you so much General! I feel a mixture of pride and fear. This is it and I am scared. But, for today I sm happy
Bound and Determined
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 203
You CAN do it Tanja. Fear of relapse still lives with me. I think though all of us who have been there though don't ever want to go back to that dark place. Its such a better world on this side of the fence you are on. I know you will stay. I've had days where a day at a time doesn't even cut it and I have to go moment by moment. It works. I have every confidence in you! I hope this has been a special day and will be a terrific sober celebratory night.
BTW General I read up on Maffetone and at the gym some of our equipment has finger pulse checkers while you utilize it....I did a slowed down longer workout keeping my heartrate at 126 (age 54). It was in fact a more enjoyable workout. Thanks.
Hi to everyone.
BTW General I read up on Maffetone and at the gym some of our equipment has finger pulse checkers while you utilize it....I did a slowed down longer workout keeping my heartrate at 126 (age 54). It was in fact a more enjoyable workout. Thanks.
Hi to everyone.
Bound and Determined
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 203
Dee--in semi-dread of Monday morning I was reading some sober recovery posts for inspiration(it always works)...I guess I have never noted it, I saw that you had 54,018 posts! I know at AA I've gotten a "thank you for your service" for bringing in meager coffee---Thank YOU for your amazing service to sober recovery and all of us. I have to pull out my second only post with emoticons 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Dee, I'll third Phil's post! It is a real talent to say the right thing at the right time. It takes talent to be a good sponsor, support and encourage your sponsee towwars recovery. You have that talent and that is a gift. Not only do you have a gift, but you have a fierce dedication to sobriety and a gentle, kind soul
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,047
I came to visit to revive my old thread -- Gerbosko = Cloud 9 ++ (http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3651550)
I'm going to be blunt here, but what an awful way to live. Seriously. I really care for you as a friend, but being in "fear" of relapsing is not going to help your sobriety at all.
If you live in fear daily, thinking that you might relapse, how are you suppose to enjoy your life? You cannot enjoy life while living in fear, I'm sorry, but that's the truth. You're sober, you're done with alcohol, so just move on. It's impossible to even be thankful or have a happy moment when you're stressing out or having anxiety over your own sobriety. You can enjoy life by thinking about the "now" and the "future", not the past "Oh, I use to be an alcoholic..". Move on (and forward) with your life!
Fear of relapse still lives with me.
If you live in fear daily, thinking that you might relapse, how are you suppose to enjoy your life? You cannot enjoy life while living in fear, I'm sorry, but that's the truth. You're sober, you're done with alcohol, so just move on. It's impossible to even be thankful or have a happy moment when you're stressing out or having anxiety over your own sobriety. You can enjoy life by thinking about the "now" and the "future", not the past "Oh, I use to be an alcoholic..". Move on (and forward) with your life!
Bound and Determined
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 203
Hey Gerb! How great to see you posting here. Hope all is going great and I appreciate the word of friendship! I feel likewise. I appreciate your being blunt on my quote its helpful and I mean it. I likely was too word specific in the posting "Fear of relapse still lives with me" and I appreciate you bringing that out. I mean that. So I can reword it somehow.
I don't mean I walk around all day in conscious state of anxiety and fear over a relapse continuously and my life is a misery due to that and your post helped me to redefine what I meant. I'm grateful every day for the present and look forward to a happy and peaceful future. I know you carry that great positive attitude and its an inspiration. All in all this has been the best year of my life. And in all honesty you and everyone here played a role in that. Thats where I am most of the time. Happy, content and sober. I think there is likely a subconscious red flag up with me that I am an alcoholic and thats more what I was trying to really say. Not that I used to be. No way in hell do I want to live in the past by reliving it in my head and I don't. Its gone. I am though a recovering alcoholic and always will be but I don't spend my days in conscious fear of alcohol or spend my day stressing about that with the fact that I'm a recovering alcoholic in the front of my head.
My anxiety doesn't relate to alcohol (except when I previously turned to it in abuse). I have a clinical anxiety disorder thats as real as the sky is blue that is not related to alcohol. Its sort of parallel to one having a physical condition in my case. For me, they are separate and diagnosed medical conditions. Alcoholism which is in remission. I treat that with AA fellowship. Generalized anxiety disorder which is a medical condition unrelated totally to alcohol except when I used it to cope with anxiety. Two different entities so to speak. I'd be ultimately happy if my anxiety disorder would just vanish and I'm trying every tool in the book now to actively reduce it or hopefully eventually eliminate it. I look forward to that happening as well. I'm able to focus on doing just that at present because I've dumped the alcohol in the past.
I feel grateful, our enviornment is peaceful and happy, each day is a true blessing and we've got a great year planned next year. I totally agree with you about staying in that place.
I think the posting you made somewhere else I think it was newcomers (?) about your one year's sobriety was genuinely one of the best pieces of writing if not the singular best piece of writing I've seen on this entire site. It was really not only inspirational to the newcomers but to me as well. Your writing speaks for itself by the multiple thank you's and comments you got. All of your postings are positive and future directed.
My life's not a misery Gerb. I'm happy and truely grateful. Thanks for pointing my wording out so I could redefine it. How're things in your neck of the woods?
Hi to everyone.
I don't mean I walk around all day in conscious state of anxiety and fear over a relapse continuously and my life is a misery due to that and your post helped me to redefine what I meant. I'm grateful every day for the present and look forward to a happy and peaceful future. I know you carry that great positive attitude and its an inspiration. All in all this has been the best year of my life. And in all honesty you and everyone here played a role in that. Thats where I am most of the time. Happy, content and sober. I think there is likely a subconscious red flag up with me that I am an alcoholic and thats more what I was trying to really say. Not that I used to be. No way in hell do I want to live in the past by reliving it in my head and I don't. Its gone. I am though a recovering alcoholic and always will be but I don't spend my days in conscious fear of alcohol or spend my day stressing about that with the fact that I'm a recovering alcoholic in the front of my head.
My anxiety doesn't relate to alcohol (except when I previously turned to it in abuse). I have a clinical anxiety disorder thats as real as the sky is blue that is not related to alcohol. Its sort of parallel to one having a physical condition in my case. For me, they are separate and diagnosed medical conditions. Alcoholism which is in remission. I treat that with AA fellowship. Generalized anxiety disorder which is a medical condition unrelated totally to alcohol except when I used it to cope with anxiety. Two different entities so to speak. I'd be ultimately happy if my anxiety disorder would just vanish and I'm trying every tool in the book now to actively reduce it or hopefully eventually eliminate it. I look forward to that happening as well. I'm able to focus on doing just that at present because I've dumped the alcohol in the past.
I feel grateful, our enviornment is peaceful and happy, each day is a true blessing and we've got a great year planned next year. I totally agree with you about staying in that place.
I think the posting you made somewhere else I think it was newcomers (?) about your one year's sobriety was genuinely one of the best pieces of writing if not the singular best piece of writing I've seen on this entire site. It was really not only inspirational to the newcomers but to me as well. Your writing speaks for itself by the multiple thank you's and comments you got. All of your postings are positive and future directed.
My life's not a misery Gerb. I'm happy and truely grateful. Thanks for pointing my wording out so I could redefine it. How're things in your neck of the woods?
Hi to everyone.
Bound and Determined
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 203
Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)--I meant to stick this link in my posting but forgot. Some recovering alcoholics have a condition that actually spurred their alcoholism and needs medical assessment and treatment aside from the alcohol issue. General Anxiety Disorder (which I have) is not particularly uncommon but is often not understood as it pertains to the general public. Treatment for GAD can be highly effective if sought out. When one is active in their alcoholism the treatment for GAD is nearly impossible. However when alcoholism is in remission GAD can be addressed and effectively dealth with. The link is from the U.S. National Library of Medicine: Public Medical Health. Within the information it states that one of the complications of GAD is substance abuse. GAD is an important part of my recovery story that I share.
Generalized anxiety disorder - PubMed Health
Have a great weekend.
Generalized anxiety disorder - PubMed Health
Have a great weekend.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,047
Well, it took over a year but I finally am making my 1,000th post! Woo Hoo! That doesn't mean I'm going to magically actively post though since I've been keeping myself busy.
The term "Recovering Alcoholic", which I've used in the past, is a term that I've been thinking about when I read your post Philb. Today I see myself as a person who just doesn't drink, I don't put a label on myself. I've never used the word "Recovering Smoker". I think the moment that we put down the bottle, we became something better. Why in the world would we call ourselves "recovering" for the rest of our lives? That's a long recovery period! I think recovery is more of a injury term - You break your leg and you put on a cast and recover from it. You remove the cast, learn to walk again, and then you've became recovered. You've removed alcohol, learned to live life without it, and now you're suppose to wait until you're buried to become recovered? I really never thought about it - Sometimes I've just kinda accepted what other people tell you and not form my own option.
Anyways, The "red flags" you've mentioned are you making sure that you don't drink alcohol again. To be "fearful" of those red flags is another story. I don't go in the alcohol section, only near it if I need something.. My mind doesn't tell me "You might buy some if you go in that section!", I just walk near it, buy what I need and walk away.. There is no "fear" and certainly I don't feel anything when I'm near it, it's just normal that my shopping trips don't involve that section. I do get what you're saying though and I'm glad that you're still aware of what's around you.
I hope the rest of your year goes well philb, and that next year brings even better news and activities to keep you going. From what I've read from you, you're doing an a great job and have your head together, you'll be just fine.
The term "Recovering Alcoholic", which I've used in the past, is a term that I've been thinking about when I read your post Philb. Today I see myself as a person who just doesn't drink, I don't put a label on myself. I've never used the word "Recovering Smoker". I think the moment that we put down the bottle, we became something better. Why in the world would we call ourselves "recovering" for the rest of our lives? That's a long recovery period! I think recovery is more of a injury term - You break your leg and you put on a cast and recover from it. You remove the cast, learn to walk again, and then you've became recovered. You've removed alcohol, learned to live life without it, and now you're suppose to wait until you're buried to become recovered? I really never thought about it - Sometimes I've just kinda accepted what other people tell you and not form my own option.
Anyways, The "red flags" you've mentioned are you making sure that you don't drink alcohol again. To be "fearful" of those red flags is another story. I don't go in the alcohol section, only near it if I need something.. My mind doesn't tell me "You might buy some if you go in that section!", I just walk near it, buy what I need and walk away.. There is no "fear" and certainly I don't feel anything when I'm near it, it's just normal that my shopping trips don't involve that section. I do get what you're saying though and I'm glad that you're still aware of what's around you.
I hope the rest of your year goes well philb, and that next year brings even better news and activities to keep you going
. From what I've read from you, you're doing an a great job and have your head together, you'll be just fine.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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Everyones different...some like to put 'it' behind them and never refer to 'it' again.
I'm not like that
I don't go around living in fear ...I don't fear shark attacks either but I don't swim in the unnetted water.
This is not a slap against anyone else least of all Gerb, but for me it's important I remember I'm an alcoholic - cos, lets be honest, I forgot a lot of times....
to me accepting the label keeps it real...to not acknowledge the past means I may indeed become blase, over confident, and forget about it....I've done it before
D
I'm not like that
I don't go around living in fear ...I don't fear shark attacks either but I don't swim in the unnetted water.
This is not a slap against anyone else least of all Gerb, but for me it's important I remember I'm an alcoholic - cos, lets be honest, I forgot a lot of times....
to me accepting the label keeps it real...to not acknowledge the past means I may indeed become blase, over confident, and forget about it....I've done it before
D
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